Tag Archive: depression


How to Overcome Depression and Reignite a Passionate Connection to Life and Spirit

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How to Overcome Depression and Reignite a Passionate Connection to Life and Spirit

on healing depression…
Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am a 38-year-old single mom. I work in the mental health field, am studying the healing arts, and have a long history of being intuitive. I also come with a history of abuse and have worked hard for many years to live a stable and healthy life. This year I made some changes that included leaving my fiance and moving to another state. I know in my heart of hearts I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Many wonderful opportunities have come my way to make all of these changes possible. Here’s the part I am having a hard time understanding: Before I became more stable and healthy, I used to experience times when I felt very connected to Spirit and had feelings of hope. Now that I’m older and in a much better place in my life than ever before, life seems rather dull, and I often find it difficult to tap into the positive feelings of Spirit. Is this common depression due to all the recent changes in my life, or am I suffering from spiritual disconnection? What can I do differently to jumpstart some positive feelings toward Spirit? Many blessings and thank you!
– Lisa

Dear Lisa:

Most likely you’re just in a phase of integrating what you’ve learned in the past and enjoying some of the fruits of your labors before your next big adventure begins. It’s like when we start a new level of school: At first, it’s thrilling and unnerving, but after a few months, what once seemed exciting has become a dull routine.

For quite some time you had some really big, dramatic challenges to chew on. Now that you’ve managed to build a solid foundation for yourself and things are going more smoothly, you’re more content but life seems less exciting and meaningful.

Many people are unknowingly addicted to the emotional highs and lows of lots of drama. Constant angst makes them feel alive and gives them something important to do. They think they want life to get easier, but when it does, they sabotage themselves because life seems boring, or they wonder why, now that they have everything they thought they needed, they aren’t as happy as they expected to be. Of course, as we evolve, it’s natural to experience less drama, hardship and conflict since we’re gaining wisdom and our vibration is rising, which empowers us to create what we want in our lives.

People who struggle with depression for long periods of time suffer from a lack of strong desire. Life is actually too easy; what they need is a big challenge. When a crisis arises, people who couldn’t get out of bed to go to work can suddenly leap into action. It’s passionate desire that makes us feel alive – not the fulfillment of that desire.

There is a certain point in everyone’s spiritual development when what you’re describing is common. After we’ve conquered the basics of survival and pulled ourselves together emotionally and psychologically, we may have no idea where to go from there. At this point, we must redefine our sense of meaning and purpose in life because we’re ready to shift from focusing on keeping our heads above water to empowering other people.

Through our own suffering and struggles, we develop compassion. Once we’re out of pain and hardship ourselves, we can help people who are still in it. Some people have a natural desire to be of service to others, while others don’t really see the point. If you remember that when you leave this life, you’ll go through a life review, and how well you loved yourself and others will matter more than anything else, then you’ll see that there is a lot in it for you if you devote yourself to being of service.

Please also remember that depression can often signal the beginning of new spiritual growth and awareness. Depression turns our focus inward, away from the endless distractions of the outer world. Our desire to leave this emotional pain behind motivates us to ask new questions and find new answers. Eventually, we emerge from depression on a higher level of experience, with new personal potential. It’s natural for boredom and depression to arise during a period of relative abundance and stability because it’s at these times that we can work on making inner progress.

Our higher selves are constantly pulling us toward the realization that we are already whole and always connected to the Divine. It’s the ego that feels lost, dissatisfied and separate. When one pursuit after another fails to fulfill our longing for something greater, eventually we recognize that we’ve been chasing our own tails the whole while – that we’ve had what we are longing for all along.

The answer, then, is to know and remember this truth. By recognizing that we’re in ego when we’re unhappy, we can remember to shift our vibration higher and focus on the one thing that has been with us from the beginning – our own Divine nature.

Here are some more tips for cultivating the habit of feeling alive, passionate, inspired, and connected to Spirit:

  • First make sure your physical habits encourage well-being, happiness, personal power and high energy. Eat fresh, high vibration food, get regular exercise, get enough sleep, etc.
  • Meditate to uncover and connect with your true nature, which is always content and at peace. Recognize that you determine how excited you are about life, and you determine the quality of your connection to Spirit. The same feelings of magic and excitement you experienced in the past are always available to you.
  • Read spiritual books, especially books about near death experiences, the afterlife and the law of attraction. Watch movies like Joe Versus the Volcano, Shirley Valentine, Under the Tuscan Sun, Contact, Patch Adams, etc.
  • Live on the edge. Ask yourself what you would do if you could do anything, and then go for it. Reach for dreams so big that they thrill you a lot and scare you a little.
  • Find ways to help people who are struggling with challenges you’ve overcome. Begin to teach. Organize a support group or book club for spiritual seekers, or find some way to help people who are a step or two behind you.
  • Experiment with spiritual subjects that interest you. You could focus on manifesting amazing things, join a mediumship development circle, try some EVP research. Push the envelope in terms of what you believe is possible.
  • Actively dialogue with Spirit. Ask what you can do to move forward and manifest a sense of connection, wonder and excitement about life again, and then watch for signs to come to you.
  • Remember that if you’re bored or feeling lifeless, you’re not fully awake. The Universe is an incredible place! There is so much to learn about, so many places to see, people to meet, things to explore. The possibilities are endless. If you’re not seeing anything to be amazed at or excited about, you’re not really looking. There is always something new to learn or invent.
  • Volunteer at a children’s hospital, a hospice or a prison. Nothing will make you feel happy and grateful like being regularly reminded of how truly blessed you are.

– Soul Arcanum

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Signs from Spirit During Bleak Times

Filed Under: Divine Guidance, Energy/Vibration, Law of Attraction, Manifesting by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Signs from Spirit During Bleak Times


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I was born on December 7, 1963. For the past couple of months, every time I look at the time, it is always on the same digits: 8:08 or 23:23. Is this a message? I seem to have lost all my luck. I am now struggling financially and can’t even find a decent job. My family life is not at its best and my friends are few. I used to very vibrant and positive, a high achiever. I’m not sure what is happening and why everything is falling apart. It’s like there is a negative energy or environment where I am working. I’m deeply unhappy and have lost faith. I used to be charming and lovable with many friends. I did have a severe blow in 2006 when I lost a very good job. I currently manage properties like an estate agent for a company. I still do not own any property myself and I am worried about my family, for if anything were to happen to me, their future would be very insecure. I’m wondering why things are going so wrong and why I keep seeing these numbers. Thank you.

Ronnie

Dear Ronnie:

I can’t begin to tell you how many people write to me with similar experiences. I’ve had the same sort of experiences myself. Yes, this is a message for you: The Universe is trying to tell you to keep the faith, that everything is going to be okay.

First let’s address the difficult times you’ve been going through and why things are going so wrong. To me, it’s clear that when you suffered that severe blow in 2006, it sent you on a downward spiral from which you’ve yet to recover. This is the trickiest part about the law of attraction and creating what we want in our lives: To get from where we are to where we want to be, we have to plant the seeds of what we want on the inside instead of picking whatever we happen to find growing in our outer experience on that particular day. This means when something upsetting happens, we have to either find a way to view it in a positive light or focus on cultivating something else altogether.

In a book by Robert Moss, I recently read a description of how we create our own realities that struck me as particularly apt. He wrote that our imaginations are constantly projecting pictures out in front of us, and because we are forever moving forward through life, we are constantly walking into those pictures we have created.

For this reason, when times are good, they tend to stay good or get even better, for we are seeing what we want around us, feeling good, and projecting positive pictures. When things are bad, they tend stay bad or get worse because we are focused on things we don’t like, feeling bad, and worried about even more problems, so we are projecting negative pictures. This is why you enjoyed a long time as a positive, charming, happy person with lots of friends. Things were going well, so you were feeling good and focused on all the blessings in your life, which kept you in a high vibration and high level of experience.

When you suffered that so-called devastating blow, it pulled the vibrational rug right out from under you and sent you on a downward spiral. You might ask why, if you were in a positive state of mind to begin with, you managed to manifest that devastating blow. Sometimes when we’re sailing happily along through life, karmic storms sneak up seemingly out of nowhere. (These are rooted in karma from past lives.) Sometimes we’re destined to experience something regardless of how we’re vibrating in the moment. Sometimes we are gifted with difficult experiences so that we can learn something important or in order to test our ability to apply what we’ve already learned.

The important thing is what we do when these things happen. This is where spiritual growth comes in. If we trust that everything happens for a good reason and begin to look for the gifts in the experience, we can maintain a high vibration and a positive outlook and thus quickly recover from “devastating blows” to remain aligned with a happy, smooth, positive level of experience.

Which brings me to these signs you keep getting. Someone, somewhere, is trying to tell you that there is more to your situation than meets the eye. These messages are telling you that there is help available to you, that instead of getting mired down in the circumstances you find yourself in, you must look beyond your circumstances and reach for a higher perspective.

When people first begin to receive signs from Spirit, they often take the form you describe: they begin to notice repeating numbers on clocks or in other places. There is a special feeling that goes along with these signs. It is subtle, but if you pay attention or vividly recall these experiences in the past, you will notice that it actually FEELS like something or someone is trying to get your attention. Small as they may be, these events feel meaningful somehow. You might contrast them with how it feels when you notice a custom license plate while driving down the road. Whether it’s immediately clear to you or not, you realize that this custom plate has a meaning, but it doesn’t have a meaning that is personal to you. When you are actually receiving a sign, you recognize that it not only has meaning, it has meaning for you personally. You may not know what that meaning is, but you do sense that something is tugging at you to pay attention.

At this point, the most powerful thing you can do is study the law of attraction to learn how to turn that downward spiral around and begin to consciously create what you want in your life. Since you’ve been in a negative pattern for a number of years now, it will take a lot of conscious effort to change your inner habits, but it will definitely be worth it.

As you begin to focus on what you want to create in your life, you might start with manifesting more signs from Spirit. You can make these more meaningful and specific to you. For example, let’s say you decide to manifest a new and better job. Vividly visualize what you are desiring, and as you do this, imagine how it will feel to have what you want. At the same time, ask Spirit for signs regarding how to go about finding or creating the perfect job for you. You can even specify the form these signs may take. The more personal it is to you, the more undeniable it will be when those signs do come your way.

For example, let’s say that red bows are meaningful to you for some reason. If you ask for Spirit to wrap up what you’re looking for in a red bow, and then you vividly imagine what you want coming to you wrapped in a red bow, signs will begin to come to you in this way. You may see a sign with a red bow on it when thinking about applying for a particular job, or you may meet a woman wearing a red bow pin and have the impulse to talk to her about your job search. You may see a job advertisement with a red bow on it or notice a package through a window that is tied with a red bow and then notice a help wanted sign on the window. The important thing is to watch for the signs you’ve asked for and recognize them as meaningful. When you get a sign, stop and listen within for intuitive direction, and act on any ideas or impulses that come to you.

Spirit is talking to you, my friend. Answer by asking for what you need, praying for help with turning your life around, and making good use of your power to manifest signs, messages, and divine help with creating all you want and need.

Soul Arcanum

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When You’re the Source of Your Home’s Negative Energy

Filed Under: Energy/Vibration, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on When You’re the Source of Your Home’s Negative Energy


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I recently read your response to the woman who was concerned about negative energy in a house she was buying. Your advice to her makes a lot of sense. I have an important question: What if I am the one responsible for the negative energy in my own home? I’ve had a lot of things pulled out from under me over the past few years and I’m in the process of rebuilding my life. I’ve focused on the losses too much and I’ve become negative. My boyfriend of six years has been very mean to me at times. He does not live here but we have had terrible fights in my home. He has kicked holes in walls and broken items that belong to me, etc. At one point, he participated in a program and things were better, but from time to time, he has bad spells and there is a lot of negativity. Because of him, I’ve allowed myself to gradually slip from a confident, energetic, positive person into someone quite different. I get depressed and have to work my way out of it. I stopped putting up with his bad behavior: When he can’t treat me well, I refuse to spend time with him. I’m not sure where our relationship will lead, but in the mean time, I’ve been trying to get back to the person I used to be. It is very difficult. I have sometimes wondered if all of those terrible, traumatic fights have hung themselves on these walls. Does that make sense? I don’t feel happy in my house. Even though my boyfriend’s behavior has been the cause of all the bad times, I feel responsible because I allowed it to happen in my home. I even feel guilty sometimes. This is why I believe I am the cause. I would love to hear from you.

Gail

Dear Gail:

It is true that the events that happen in a place contribute to the psychic atmosphere there. The more emotionally intense an incident, the stronger the impression it leaves. This is sort of like dealing with a physical mess: if someone comes in and tracks dust on the floor, it will make your house a bit dirty until it’s cleaned up, but if someone comes in and splashes red and black paint all over the walls, that mess is going to leave a much more ugly, long lasting stain.

While there are deeper issues at work here, it won’t hurt to psychically cleanse your home of negativity and fill it with positive energy. This is similar to taking a shower in order to clear away the grime of the past and refresh yourself. Many intuitive counselors and healers cleanse the psychic atmospheres of their homes and work spaces as often as they clean them on a physical level. Anger, depression and emotional upset attract lower astral entities much like letting garbage sit around attracts roaches; to get rid of pests and all the problems they can cause, we have to regularly take the garbage out both physically and spiritually.

That being said, you are wise to ponder your energy’s ongoing impact on your home’s atmosphere, for it is the people who spend the most time in a place that tend to determine its overall vibration. However, when someone’s energy is very strong, they will have a greater influence on the places and people around them than someone whose lifeforce is weaker. Thus one angry or depressed teenager with surging hormones can disrupt a whole household, and conversely, a gifted energy healer can draw others up into resonance with her own vibrant well-being.

During your boyfriend’s rages, he is channeling very intense energy. It’s obvious that over the past six years, he has had more influence over you than he deserves. I can see that you are in the process of taking your power back, and this is just what needs to happen if you are to have your desire for greater peace and happiness prevail despite his anger issues.

It’s also important to realize that the more one works on a conscious level to psychically influence other people or places, the more powerful the results tend to be. This is why having someone cleanse and bless a home can lead to instant transformation, and also why places where Satanic rituals have been practiced tend to feel very dark and creepy. This means that you can create a positive psychic atmosphere in your home by making your own energy more positive, especially if you set a conscious intention to create a peaceful, uplifting sanctuary. Whether you approach this on a conscious level or not, as YOU change, the atmosphere in your home will naturally change with you. The more you take constructive action to feel better about yourself and your life, the better your home’s atmosphere will feel.

The world around us is a reflection of the world inside of us. The more happy and peaceful you are on the inside, the more happy and peaceful your outer circumstances will tend to grow, and the more you will tend to attract people who mirror your loving, positive vibes. I therefore think you’d be wise to focus first and foremost on the source of your personal reality – your inner landscape. With this in mind, I encourage you to keep doing all you can to empower yourself, heal and release the past, and cultivate how you want to feel and who you want to be.

A very wise spiritual teacher I studied with for years frequently urged her students to “Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comforted.” There are lots of ways to interpret this sage advice, but I’ll put it this way: some people always blame others for their problems instead of taking an honest look at themselves, while others go to the other extreme and always blame themselves even for things that are not their fault. I feel you fall in this latter category!

The main underlying theme that jumps out at me from your question is the truth that you are on a journey to a better relationship to YOURSELF. This troubled situation you have with your boyfriend is just a channel through which you are working on learning to love and appreciate yourself more deeply. That you would blame yourself for his behavior is one clear sign that what you need most of all is to feel you deserve peace, love and happiness.

Though most of us have been raised to believe that we get what we deserve in life, the truth is that we get what we THINK we deserve. When you believe you deserve better down deep in your soul, everything in your life will grow brighter. You will either attract a better match or your boyfriend will become the man you need him to be; your home will begin to glow with the beautiful light of your own inner harmony and self-love; every corner of your world will become more pleasant and beautiful.

I encourage you to stop blaming yourself or anyone else for the way things have gone in the past and the way your world feels now. Instead, examine your journey for what it is trying to teach you. If you learn whatever you are supposed to be learning from this troubled relationship and you heal whatever issues are keeping it alive in your life, you will set yourself free to move on to new and hopefully more pleasant territory.

– Soul Arcanum 

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Breaking Free of Helplessness

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Breaking Free of Helplessness


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Over the years I have become emotionally depressed and unhappy. I used to be a gal who would keep herself clean. I was happy and a go-getter. However, for the past seven years I have been emotionally depressed. I stay in the same clothes for weeks at a time and rarely shower or brush my teeth. I think about suicide a lot. My blood relatives are abusive and uncaring, and I live with a man I have a child with but I don’t feel an emotional attachment to either one of them. I want so badly for this man to leave my home but he refuses. He does nothing for me emotionally, physically or spiritually. This is a very unhealthy relationship. I’ve also lost my looks and gained 60 pounds. Sometimes I can’t even leave my home to shop for groceries. I need insights into what to do before I just can’t take this life anymore.

Randi

Dear Margo:

Since you’re having suicidal thoughts, I urge you to get medical help. None of the spiritual or practical ideas I suggest will be helpful if you can’t summon the will to live. In addition to your family physician, there are suicide hotlines you can call to get information about other local resources; please pick up the phone and reach out for local help today.

There are many things that can cause depression. Generally speaking, depression occurs when life force energy is inadequate or repressed. The greater our life force energy, the greater our health, happiness and personal power. Depression isn’t a feeling so much as an absence of feeling, a lack of passion, desire and all that gives life color.

Your depression probably began when you were going through a period of great angst due to the troubled relationships in your life. Perhaps you felt there was no good answer or solution, or you felt guilty for feeling the way you did, so you shut down emotionally to escape endless torment. Unfortunately, this eventually led you to stop feeling much of anything at all.

To break free, you’ll have to find the courage to feel whatever is behind this emotional numbness. This won’t be easy; you must be very afraid of facing the truth to have put yourself through so much suffering already.

In failing to honor the truth in your own heart, you are betraying yourself. When we deny our true feelings, when we say yes instead of no, when we don’t allow ourselves to leave miserable relationships due to guilt, when we do anything that goes against our true desires and needs, we disconnect from our emotional body. This leads us to disconnect from the voice of our intuition, which is why people can get endlessly stuck in depression: they can’t hear their inner guidance trying to tell them what to do to feel better.

As I mentioned above, the first thing is to seek medical help. After this, there are lots of practical steps you can take to shift toward positive change, but it may be hard for you to summon the will to get moving. This is where a sincere, caring hypnotherapist and/or energy healer may prove invaluable.

A hypnotherapist can help you consciously realize the fears that are keeping you stuck so you can face whatever is behind the depression and find a way through it. An energy healer can help you get your chi moving again without you having to summon the will to do anything except passively open up to receiving an influx of the life force energy you’re starving for. Such a healer can also temporarily clear away blocks and thus facilitate a greater flow of energy through your whole being, which will empower you to take constructive action.

For changes to last, however, you will have to renovate your inner world, and this is going to require a lot of effort on your part. You’re going to have to learn to think more positively, visualize what you desire, and take good care of yourself. You’ll have to learn how to better control what you think, feel, say and do; how to generate a higher flow of life force energy yourself; how to cultivate healthy relationships; how to love yourself better. There are endless spiritual practices and therapies that can help you with all of this.

It would be helpful to view depression as primarily a life force energy problem. You might explore Eastern ideas like feng shui and Qigong to gain understanding of how energy flow affects our health and happiness. This will motivate you to take the practical steps necessary to encourage a greater flow of life force energy. By taking small, simple steps to boost the energy available to you, you’ll empower yourself to take on the deeper issues at work here.

Once the outside help you receive has you capable of taking action on your own behalf, there are many little things you can do to launch yourself on an upward spiral.

First, clean yourself up! Take a shower, wash your hair, put on clean clothes. If you find this daunting, take just one step: turn on the faucet to heat the water. Then take another little step, and another. Before you know it, you will be clean and feeling much better. (Physical hygiene is directly related to metaphysical hygiene, so if you’re dirty physically, your aura is full of yucky energies too. This is why taking a shower can make us feel emotionally and mentally refreshed.)

There are lots of other things you can do to raise your vibration and boost your life force energy, which will both make you feel better and empower you to create whatever you want in your life. I don’t have room to list them all here, so check out this former column. These ideas may sound too simple to do much, but if you summon the will to work with them, they will work for you.

Above all, however, you must remedy the root cause of this depression to be free of it for good. As I mentioned above, this appears to be a classic case of self-betrayal. You are forcing yourself to deny the truth in your heart by staying in this relationship. Further, when two people are very unhappy together, negative feelings just keep circulating and dragging them both down into an ever more toxic situation.

To break free of depression, it’s imperative you trust your heart and take action accordingly. If your inner being is telling you that you must get out of this relationship, then your emotional pain is actually trying to help you by pushing you to take action. A good therapist can help you figure out how to create the outer circumstances your inner being is calling for.

To find true peace and happiness in life, you must listen to and honor the truth in your own heart above all. While you’re learning to do this, it would be wise stay away from people who bring you down, stress you out, or make you doubt yourself. Also, strive to act loving to yourself and others regardless of what other people do. This will make you feel good about yourself, draw positive energy to you, and shift you into harmony with a higher level of experience.

The fact that you wrote me for help is a positive, encouraging sign: it means you do want to live and find happiness. If you take the steps outlined above, you’ll begin to pull yourself out of this hole of despair, and eventually you’ll find yourself in the sun, feeling like your old self again. Please also remember the power of prayer: you have spirit guides and angels who are ever ready to help you find your way to greater health, peace and happiness.

– Soul Arcanum

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Self-Betrayal and Depression

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Self-Betrayal and Depression


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Over the years I have become emotionally depressed and unhappy. I used to be a gal who would keep herself clean. I was happy and a go-getter. However, for the past seven years I have been emotionally depressed. I stay in the same clothes for weeks at a time and rarely shower or brush my teeth. I think about suicide a lot. My blood relatives are abusive and uncaring, and I live with a man I have a child with but I don’t feel an emotional attachment to either one of them. I want so badly for this man to leave my home but he refuses. He does nothing for me emotionally, physically or spiritually. This is a very unhealthy relationship. I’ve also lost my looks and gained 60 pounds. Sometimes I can’t even leave my home to shop for groceries. I need insights into what to do before I just can’t take this life anymore.

Randi

Dear Randi:

Since you’re having suicidal thoughts, I urge you to get medical help. None of the spiritual or practical ideas I suggest will be helpful if you can’t summon the will to live. In addition to your family physician, there are suicide hotlines you can call to get information about other local resources; please pick up the phone and reach out for local help today.

There are many things that can cause depression. Generally speaking, depression occurs when life force energy is inadequate or repressed. The greater our life force energy, the greater our health, happiness and personal power. Depression isn’t a feeling so much as an absence of feeling, a lack of passion, desire and all that gives life color.

Your depression probably began when you were going through a period of great angst due to the troubled relationships in your life. Perhaps you felt there was no good answer or solution, or you felt guilty for feeling the way you did, so you shut down emotionally to escape endless torment. Unfortunately, this eventually led you to stop feeling much of anything at all.

To break free, you’ll have to find the courage to feel whatever is behind this emotional numbness. This won’t be easy; you must be very afraid of facing the truth to have put yourself through so much suffering already.

In failing to honor the truth in your own heart, you are betraying yourself. When we deny our true feelings, when we say yes instead of no, when we don’t allow ourselves to leave miserable relationships due to guilt, when we do anything that goes against our true desires and needs, we disconnect from our emotional body. This leads us to disconnect from the voice of our intuition, which is why people can get endlessly stuck in depression: they can’t hear their inner guidance trying to tell them what to do to feel better.

As I mentioned above, the first thing is to seek medical help. After this, there are lots of practical steps you can take to shift toward positive change, but it may be hard for you to summon the will to get moving. This is where a sincere, caring hypnotherapist and/or energy healer may prove invaluable.

A hypnotherapist can help you consciously realize the fears that are keeping you stuck so you can face whatever is behind the depression and find a way through it. An energy healer can help you get your chi moving again without you having to summon the will to do anything except passively open up to receiving an influx of the life force energy you’re starving for. Such a healer can also temporarily clear away blocks and thus facilitate a greater flow of energy through your whole being, which will empower you to take constructive action.

For changes to last, however, you will have to renovate your inner world, and this is going to require a lot of effort on your part. You’re going to have to learn to think more positively, visualize what you desire, and take good care of yourself. You’ll have to learn how to better control what you think, feel, say and do; how to generate a higher flow of life force energy yourself; how to cultivate healthy relationships; how to love yourself better. There are endless spiritual practices and therapies that can help you with all of this.

It would be helpful to view depression as primarily a life force energy problem. You might explore Eastern ideas like feng shui and Qigong to gain understanding of how energy flow affects our health and happiness. This will motivate you to take the practical steps necessary to encourage a greater flow of life force energy. By taking small, simple steps to boost the energy available to you, you’ll empower yourself to take on the deeper issues at work here.

Once the outside help you receive has you capable of taking action on your own behalf, there are many little things you can do to launch yourself on an upward spiral.

First, clean yourself up! Take a shower, wash your hair, put on clean clothes. If you find this daunting, take just one step: turn on the faucet to heat the water. Then take another little step, and another. Before you know it, you will be clean and feeling much better. (Physical hygiene is directly related to metaphysical hygiene, so if you’re dirty physically, your aura is full of yucky energies too. This is why taking a shower can make us feel emotionally and mentally refreshed.)

There are lots of other things you can do to raise your vibration and boost your life force energy, which will both make you feel better and empower you to create whatever you want in your life. I don’t have room to list them all here, so check out this former column. These ideas may sound too simple to do much, but if you summon the will to work with them, they will work for you.

Above all, however, you must remedy the root cause of this depression to be free of it for good. As I mentioned above, this appears to be a classic case of self-betrayal. You are forcing yourself to deny the truth in your heart by staying in this relationship. Further, when two people are very unhappy together, negative feelings just keep circulating and dragging them both down into an ever more toxic situation.

To break free of depression, it’s imperative you trust your heart and take action accordingly. If your inner being is telling you that you must get out of this relationship, then your emotional pain is actually trying to help you by pushing you to take action. A good therapist can help you figure out how to create the outer circumstances your inner being is calling for.

To find true peace and happiness in life, you must listen to and honor the truth in your own heart above all. While you’re learning to do this, it would be wise stay away from people who bring you down, stress you out, or make you doubt yourself. Also, strive to act loving to yourself and others regardless of what other people do. This will make you feel good about yourself, draw positive energy to you, and shift you into harmony with a higher level of experience.

The fact that you wrote me for help is a positive, encouraging sign: it means you do want to live and find happiness. If you take the steps outlined above, you’ll begin to pull yourself out of this hole of despair, and eventually you’ll find yourself in the sun, feeling like your old self again. Please also remember the power of prayer: you have spirit guides and angels who are ever ready to help you find your way to greater health, peace and happiness.

– Soul Arcanum

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Self-Betrayal and Depression

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Self-Betrayal and Depression


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Over the years I have become emotionally depressed and unhappy. I used to be a gal who would keep herself clean. I was happy and a go-getter. However, for the past seven years I have been emotionally depressed. I stay in the same clothes for weeks at a time and rarely shower or brush my teeth. I think about suicide a lot. My blood relatives are abusive and uncaring, and I live with a man I have a child with but I don’t feel an emotional attachment to either one of them. I want so badly for this man to leave my home but he refuses. He does nothing for me emotionally, physically or spiritually. This is a very unhealthy relationship. I’ve also lost my looks and gained 60 pounds. Sometimes I can’t even leave my home to shop for groceries. I need insights into what to do before I just can’t take this life anymore.

Randi

Dear Randi:

Since you’re having suicidal thoughts, I urge you to get medical help. None of the spiritual or practical ideas I suggest will be helpful if you can’t summon the will to live. In addition to your family physician, there are suicide hotlines you can call to get information about other local resources; please pick up the phone and reach out for local help today.

There are many things that can cause depression. Generally speaking, depression occurs when life force energy is inadequate or repressed. The greater our life force energy, the greater our health, happiness and personal power. Depression isn’t a feeling so much as an absence of feeling, a lack of passion, desire and all that gives life color.

Your depression probably began when you were going through a period of great angst due to the troubled relationships in your life. Perhaps you felt there was no good answer or solution, or you felt guilty for feeling the way you did, so you shut down emotionally to escape endless torment. Unfortunately, this eventually led you to stop feeling much of anything at all.

To break free, you’ll have to find the courage to feel whatever is behind this emotional numbness. This won’t be easy; you must be very afraid of facing the truth to have put yourself through so much suffering already.

In failing to honor the truth in your own heart, you are betraying yourself. When we deny our true feelings, when we say yes instead of no, when we don’t allow ourselves to leave miserable relationships due to guilt, when we do anything that goes against our true desires and needs, we disconnect from our emotional body. This leads us to disconnect from the voice of our intuition, which is why people can get endlessly stuck in depression: they can’t hear their inner guidance trying to tell them what to do to feel better.

As I mentioned above, the first thing is to seek medical help. After this, there are lots of practical steps you can take to shift toward positive change, but it may be hard for you to summon the will to get moving. This is where a sincere, caring hypnotherapist and/or energy healer may prove invaluable.

A hypnotherapist can help you consciously realize the fears that are keeping you stuck so you can face whatever is behind the depression and find a way through it. An energy healer can help you get your chi moving again without you having to summon the will to do anything except passively open up to receiving an influx of the life force energy you’re starving for. Such a healer can also temporarily clear away blocks and thus facilitate a greater flow of energy through your whole being, which will empower you to take constructive action.

For changes to last, however, you will have to renovate your inner world, and this is going to require a lot of effort on your part. You’re going to have to learn to think more positively, visualize what you desire, and take good care of yourself. You’ll have to learn how to better control what you think, feel, say and do; how to generate a higher flow of life force energy yourself; how to cultivate healthy relationships; how to love yourself better. There are endless spiritual practices and therapies that can help you with all of this.

It would be helpful to view depression as primarily a life force energy problem. You might explore Eastern ideas like feng shui and Qigong to gain understanding of how energy flow affects our health and happiness. This will motivate you to take the practical steps necessary to encourage a greater flow of life force energy. By taking small, simple steps to boost the energy available to you, you’ll empower yourself to take on the deeper issues at work here.

Once the outside help you receive has you capable of taking action on your own behalf, there are many little things you can do to launch yourself on an upward spiral.

First, clean yourself up! Take a shower, wash your hair, put on clean clothes. If you find this daunting, take just one step: turn on the faucet to heat the water. Then take another little step, and another. Before you know it, you will be clean and feeling much better. (Physical hygiene is directly related to metaphysical hygiene, so if you’re dirty physically, your aura is full of yucky energies too. This is why taking a shower can make us feel emotionally and mentally refreshed.)

There are lots of other things you can do to raise your vibration and boost your life force energy, which will both make you feel better and empower you to create whatever you want in your life. I don’t have room to list them all here, so check out this former column. These ideas may sound too simple to do much, but if you summon the will to work with them, they will work for you.

Above all, however, you must remedy the root cause of this depression to be free of it for good. As I mentioned above, this appears to be a classic case of self-betrayal. You are forcing yourself to deny the truth in your heart by staying in this relationship. Further, when two people are very unhappy together, negative feelings just keep circulating and dragging them both down into an ever more toxic situation.

To break free of depression, it’s imperative you trust your heart and take action accordingly. If your inner being is telling you that you must get out of this relationship, then your emotional pain is actually trying to help you by pushing you to take action. A good therapist can help you figure out how to create the outer circumstances your inner being is calling for.

To find true peace and happiness in life, you must listen to and honor the truth in your own heart above all. While you’re learning to do this, it would be wise stay away from people who bring you down, stress you out, or make you doubt yourself. Also, strive to act loving to yourself and others regardless of what other people do. This will make you feel good about yourself, draw positive energy to you, and shift you into harmony with a higher level of experience.

The fact that you wrote me for help is a positive, encouraging sign: it means you do want to live and find happiness. If you take the steps outlined above, you’ll begin to pull yourself out of this hole of despair, and eventually you’ll find yourself in the sun, feeling like your old self again. Please also remember the power of prayer: you have spirit guides and angels who are ever ready to help you find your way to greater health, peace and happiness.

– Soul Arcanum

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He’s Emotionally Shut Down

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Intuitive Development by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on He’s Emotionally Shut Down

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Growing up, I always felt I had an unusual emotional connection to people. I was able to sense what they were feeling and interact with them in a caring, helpful way. Sometimes people around me made me feel like I was a bit crazy, and eventually, I’d had enough of this and stopped being in touch with people on that level. I put my emotions in check. This helped by toughening me up to outside influences, but it severely hindered my intuition. Now I’m seeking to find a bit of inner peace and understanding, and am realizing that my emotional life is basically non-existent. I rarely get excited about things, and when I need to accomplish a goal, I end up not caring whether I achieve it or not. It’s like I just don’t care. I never have intense feelings of desire, anger or any other emotion. How do I get in touch with my emotions again?

Jason

Dear Jason:

I think it’s important to realize that many people are dealing with emotional disconnection to some degree. Think about the wild range of emotions that little kids display versus how most adults behave. In fact, part of the process of “maturing” is gaining control of our emotions.

Further, spiritual wisdom leads us to live “in the world but not of it,” which means that even as the human side of us is experiencing something intense, there is a spiritual part of us that is just calmly observing. This means the more centered we grow in our higher selves, the more we tend to embody a calm equilibrium at all times.

When we grow to understand that life is just a game – a world of illusions that is just a tiny fraction of our existence – it kind of takes the sting out of situations that used to get us all riled up. While this calm higher perspective empowers us to create whatever we want, suddenly we don’t want anything anymore – we’re content with where we are and mildly curious about what life will send our way next.

So as we move into higher levels of spiritual awareness and wisdom, feeling mellow is perfectly normal. When we eventually shed all desire, we move beyond the vibrational range of the physical, after which we incarnate on other planes.

It sounds like you’re more blocked than enlightened here, however, and there are some healing processes that may help you.

Many highly sensitive people will try to shut down in order to protect themselves from overwhelming energies, or to avoid feeling humiliated or rejected for being different. When this becomes a habit, or when it happens as a result of some traumatic event, the emotional body can get squeezed to the side, which can lead to the emotionally dead feeling you describe.

We have seven spiritual bodies that correspond to the seven main chakras. Moving out from the physical we find the etheric, which is like a blueprint for the physical, and then the emotional body. If we feel overwhelmed or burned out due to high emotional sensitivity, the emotional body can get shut down or pushed aside. This is especially common in natural empaths – people who tend to feel others’ emotional energy as their own. These folks may unconsciously block certain chakras in order to try to prevent discomfort.

This dynamic is illuminated in common phrases such as when we say that a person is beside himself, out of it, shut down, closed down, out of his mind, turned off, etc. Some people even say that someone is close-hearted.

By contrast, being open means being receptive to the energies all around us, which can be very overwhelming, especially for sensitive people. We all filter energies to a certain degree, except when we’re feeling blissful and totally open, such as when we are in a very peaceful place where the energies flowing in are gentle and pleasant.

The more we open up our chakras to process more energy, the more alive we feel, the healthier we are, and the more fully we can live life. In fact, when we close down or block our chakras, we may eventually experience depression and dis-ease.

When people feel emotionally shut down, the chakras affected are typically the second (sacral) chakra, which governs the emotional body; the solar plexus chakra through which we sense things in our guts; and the heart chakra, through which we love others. So in closing down emotionally, you would indeed close down your intuition or gut instincts.

While it’s natural to try to block ourselves from unpleasant experiences in the future, our ultimate goal is to learn that there is nothing to really fear. By shedding the fears behind our efforts to emotionally protect ourselves, we naturally rise above the extreme highs and lows we used to experience. However, when we’re centered in a higher perspective, we don’t feel depressed and indifferent but peaceful and content. (This is how you can determine whether what you’re experiencing is a result of spiritual growth or a symptom suggesting that emotional healing is needed.)

If you determine that you’re blocked, there are many things you can try to affect emotional healing. I recommend you begin with hypnotherapy. If I were working with you, I would regress you back to when you used to feel intense emotions and from there, ask your subconscious to take us to the events, impressions, beliefs or decisions that led you to disconnect emotionally. This would both reconnect you with your emotional body and guide you through the process of melting the frozen energies blocking your emotional flow now. Through hypnotherapy, you can also reprogram any fearful, limiting beliefs that led you to try to protect yourself in the first place.

If you are blocked, it’s because on some level, you don’t believe that the world is a safe place to be emotionally open. Often it is fear of rejection or humiliation that leads us to shut down, which sounds right given what you wrote about people acting like you were crazy. By healing those old emotional wounds and updating your belief system as well as embracing new spiritual growth, you can leave the pain of the past behind and shift into a much higher level of experience.

In addition to hypnotherapy, you might try yoga, which will help you melt energetic blocks so you relax and balance all aspects of your being. You can also see an energy healer for help with releasing blocks, or a shaman for something called soul retrieval. We all tend to distance ourselves from emotional pain by repressing or denying it, which causes parts of ourselves to “leave.” One classic symptom of soul loss is the sense of feeling emotionally shut down that you describe. In soul retrieval, a shaman engages with your soul on a higher level in order to retrieve and reintegrate aspects of your being that left when you experienced some trauma.

Finally, ask your own inner being what you need to do to feel better and then trust what you receive. One of the fastest ways to get past our fears of rejection and to reawaken our intuition is to do something “crazy.” You clearly have some old fear of being labeled crazy, and have disconnected from your intuition. If you relax and tune in and then act on whatever so-called crazy ideas come to you, you can quickly melt through those blocks and reconnect with your inner guidance system. Similarly, when people feel emotionally dead inside, there is nothing like a true crisis to wake them up. I’m not suggesting you put yourself in danger or wreck your life, but a big spiritual adventure – something way beyond the realm of what you would normally do – may prove just what you need to feel emotionally reborn.

– Soul Arcanum

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Anti-Depressants and Psychic Ability

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Intuitive Development, Psychic Ability, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Anti-Depressants and Psychic Ability

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depression as well as Anxiety. I have read that taking medications will block your intuition and cloud your psychic ability. Since I don’t want that to happen, I no longer take any medications. I have also read that anxiety and depression are common in psychics and clairvoyants. Am I truly dampening my abilities if I take medication to treat the symptoms of depression and anxiety? I am blessed with special gifts that I want to further develop so I can continue to use them for the good of all, but sometimes I feel like if I don’t take medication to treat the symptoms of anxiety and depression, I’m not taking care of myself. If anxiety and depression are indeed common in psychics and clairvoyants, then what methods can I use to naturally treat them so as not to muddy my abilities? – Kim

Dear Kim:

I find it interesting that you’re focused on the relationship between medication and your psychic senses, and not the relationship between depression and your psychic abilities.

There is definitely a connection between depression and new spiritual growth or awakening. Major depression pushes us to ask some very deep questions about the meaning and purpose of life. Ultimately, emotional suffering forces us to reach for new spiritual understanding, which leads us to break down the ego in search of our true nature so we can connect with our spiritual source. The more we fear or resist this process, the harder this journey of personal transformation will seem.

Of course, simply asking these sorts of questions can unleash all sorts of repressed issues and energies on a soul level. Repressed anger, guilt and fear from this life and other lives may then cause depression until those energies are made conscious and healed.

Psychic development alone can cause depression for a number of reasons. For one thing, psychics are highly sensitive and can pick up other people’s feelings or tap into global psychic currents without realizing it. They may feel depressed when in fact they are just tuning in to someone else’s misery. Since they are psychically open, they may also be drained of energy by other people or astral entities.

Like depression, anxiety can also be picked up from other people or the atmosphere. Just being too psychically open can make us feel anxious, for our inner being will try to tell us that we are vulnerable to psychic influence by outside forces.

Given all of the above, further spiritual development is often the cure for depression. With wisdom and experience, psychics naturally gain more awareness of all that is affecting them on a subtle level. They also learn how to channel spiritual guidance and healing, how to control their own psychic boundaries, and how to set their own vibrational tone. When they learn about the law of attraction, they realize that they create their own realities, which frees them of the hopelessness and despair that drive depression. By accepting that we have created our own dis-comfort and dis-ease, we reclaim our personal power to create new well-being instead.

As I see it, there are two equally valid sides of this medication issue: on one hand, it would be great if you could trust that everything you experience has an ultimately positive aim so you can seek the deeper messages behind your depression and heal it on a causal level. If you can look at this as a process of spiritual rebirth and trust that though it may be uncomfortable, it is taking you somewhere positive, you won’t abort your spiritual journey or miss out on its blessings. (If medication makes you feel good, and that erases your motivation to reach for new understanding, you could cut short your own spiritual growth.)

On the other hand, anything you can do to raise your vibration (including taking medication) will empower you to create further positive change, and will facilitate psychic awareness of a higher order. If you tune in psychically from a position of depression, what you experience will tend to be very dark and heavy. If you can raise your vibration, you can connect with a higher level of spiritual experience, wisdom and healing.

Depression doesn’t always have deep spiritual meaning. Our modern lifestyle alone can cause anxiety and malaise; in fact, I believe that most depression could be cured by simply eating a high vibration diet of fresh natural foods and getting daily exercise, so this is definitely where I would start. Since it takes a lot of energy and willpower to break long-term patterns and create positive change, medication can help people through the challenging period when they’re in the process of developing healthy new habits.

The important thing is for YOU to decide what you really want and need. Given the severity of your suffering, I think healing the depression is more important than your psychic abilities right now. Besides, once you find a way to feel strong and empowered in yourself, you will be better able to successfully work with your psychic senses.

As for natural methods for healing depression, the possibilities are endless. Here are some things you might explore to raise your vibration, encourage psychic development and facilitate healing on every level of your being at the same time: regular meditation (both mindfulness and guided imagery); eating a light, healthy vegetarian diet; getting daily exercise; yoga (especially kundalini yoga, which opens the third eye); hypnotherapy and past life therapy; prayer; reading, studying and practicing psychic skills like strengthening your aura, raising energy, and mastering the control of your psychic boundaries; spending time in nature; clearing your world of physical clutter; cleansing your aura of astral influences, etc.

There are also online communities that can support you, and lots of information for you in books and on the internet. I recommend a book entitled The Stormy Search for Self by Christina and Stanislav Grof, M.D. In terms of websites, you might begin with the Spiritual Emergence Network.

As for your desire to help others with your psychic abilities, it’s important for you to realize that one of three things may happen whenever you psychically tune in to someone who is in a heavy emotional space: you may go into that heaviness with them; you may try to keep your distance by closing off your heart from them; or you may set a powerful healing tone and lift them up into that higher vibration with you.

In order to become a psychic healer (as opposed to a fortune teller), I had to develop faith that everyone is just where they need to be in order to learn whatever they need to learn. This allows me to truly love and care for people while not getting personally upset or anxious about their problems. For the sake of everyone involved, before you choose to use your psychic abilities to try to help others, I recommend that you similarly cultivate a deep faith that everything ultimately happens for the highest and best.

Please know that you are constantly healing and that everything you experience is designed to lead you to a higher level of experience. If you pray for Spirit to guide you to new peace, well-being, and personal fulfillment, I have faith that you will be led to heal in the perfect way for you.

– Soul Arcanum

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When You Can’t Live Without Him/Her

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on When You Can’t Live Without Him/Her

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have searched long and hard for a true blue psychic, and something just led me to you. I love a man whose name is Jimmy. We broke up last March over a misunderstanding, and it has been an extreme emotional roller coaster ride ever since that day. Since our breakup, I have sent kind, loving correspondence to him to let him know how I feel. I even remembered him on Christmas and sent him a gift and a card. Life has truly been a struggle. I know that one should not just wait around for love, but having someone special is extremely important to me at this time in my life. I can’t imagine life without this man, for I have always felt that he was the one for me with all of my heart. I know that he has issues when it comes to showing and expressing his emotions, but it never hindered me from pursuing him the past seven years. I do not push him in any way; I give him space to follow his heart in his own time. I have even prayed that God would take my life now and allow me to come home, because I really do not want my life to go on without this man. This is how much I truly love him. Last night I even prayed to God many times to allow this to happen if Jimmy was not going to come back to me. He may be a self-centered pig at times, but this does not diminish my love for him, because I have seen a beautiful side of him that not many people get to see. Will Jimmy come back and give this relationship another whirl, a real try he truly puts his heart into? I would really love to hear from you. Thank you for your time.
– Diane

Dear Diane:

My sweet girl, I wish I could whisk you off to a beach in Mexico for a year or so. By the end of that time, you’d be so over Jimmy. You’d be happily engaged in a whole new life, with a whole new sense of hope and possibility.

First, no person is so fantastic that life is not worth living without them. Barring extreme physical pain due to terminal illness or something like that, thoughts of suicide are always very short-sighted. When I read for people who don’t see life as worth living, Spirit often suggests they watch the movie “Joe Versus the Volcano.”

In that film, Tom Hanks’ character is a hypochondriac who learns that he is dying. He accepts the offer of a millionaire, which entails becoming a human sacrifice by throwing himself into a volcano. He has to travel halfway around the world to get to this volcano, and en route, he awakens spiritually and discovers that his life is indeed worth living. We watch him blossom from a miserable, anxiety-ridden man clinging to a bleak existence, into a bright, joyful free spirit. Only when he faces his own mortality for real does he begin to fully open to everything that is beautiful in life that he has been missing.

I encourage you to rent this movie and let it speak to your heart and soul.

Now you have to realize that what you describe as love is not really love, but rather obsession. When we’re caught up in romantic obsession like this it’s very hard to see it, so I understand if you are vehemently shaking your head and saying that I don’t understand. I know, because I’ve been where you are. I believed it was really love too, and wound up wanting to die, just like you.

My own obsession was named Dan, and my entire purpose for living was for him to love me back. When we make someone the center of our universe like this, we make them our God. As no mortal can fill those shoes, we are setting ourselves up for a lot of disappointment and heartache when we do this.

It’s not that we’re fundamentally pathetic. In fact, most people who fall into this pattern have very deep spiritual natures but a lack of spiritual teaching and direct experience of divine grace. We’ve been raised to make romance EVERYTHING. Our modern holy grail is a “soul mate.” We’ve been duped into believing that romantic love is the highest thing we can hope for. When romance then leaves us in a miserable heap on the floor, it’s no wonder we decide that life is just not worth living.

The energy underlying obsession is a very powerful force. The more you tell yourself you don’t want to live without Jimmy, the more energy you send to this force, and the harder it is to break free of it. You feel incomplete without Jimmy because you’ve literally given away your heart and soul to him.

Here’s another lesson we all have to learn eventually: Deciding that we don’t want to live without someone is actually a good way to send them fleeing. It’s a pretty heavy trip to put on someone’s shoulders. Most people feel suffocated by this sort of emotional dependency.

Making someone else responsible for our will to live is never a healthy or attractive thing to do. It leaves us clingy, vulnerable, grasping and draining. We won’t find true fulfillment in love until our own hearts and spirits are whole, until we see ourselves as complete expressions of divine beauty.

I’ve seen this sort of relationship dynamic many times, and always the person who is made God is far from deserving of that honor. I could see putting someone on a pedestal if they really were Christ-like, for then it may actually be true that we may never meet another person like them. Usually, however, the thing that is most special about the people we cling to is their indifference to our feelings. At some level we believe that if we can get this cold-hearted, self-absorbed “cool” person to return our devotion, then we will have proven to ourselves that we really are lovable.

These romantic obsessions represent someone from our past – usually the parent it was hardest to win attention, love and approval from. They can also be people we loved in past lives who rejected us. By being unmovable and indifferent, they offer us another chance to prove ourselves worthy of their attention, affection and respect. Through these relationships, we try to go back and heal some of the holes in our hearts from earlier experiences.

Our true goal is not to gain their love, however, but to learn to love ourselves enough to leave this tortuous experience behind. We may think we adore a lover more than life itself, but we can only truly love another to the degree we love ourselves. When we want to die for the lack of one individual’s returned affection, we aren’t loving anyone involved; we’re just desperately trying to find someone or something to fill the empty place inside of us.

I wish I could spirit you away to that beach in Mexico, but you don’t really need me to anyway. You don’t need anyone outside of yourself to save you or make your life worth living, because it’s already worth living, Diane.

I recommend you either find a higher calling to devote yourself to, or take off on a big adventure. If you already feel like dying, what have you got to lose? You’re here – you might as well do something important or interesting. The more you devote yourself to this higher purpose or lose yourself in this new adventure, the better you will feel.

Give the best of yourself to someone or something new, and after a while, you will realize that you feel better about yourself and about life. Your energy will detach more and more from this obsessive vortex as you put your heart and soul into relationships and undertakings that actually return your energy. This will lead you not only to new peace and happiness, but to more fulfilling experiences in love too.

There are no shortcuts to true and lasting happiness. You have to stop being a slave to romance and reach for something truer and more lasting: a sense of your own divinity, a personal relationship to Spirit/ the Universe/ All That Is, a reverent appreciation of life’s endless blessings and joys.

– Soul Arcanum

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Is She “Under His Spell” for Real?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Psychic Protection, Relationships, Strange Phenomena by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Is She “Under His Spell” for Real?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC.  All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My name is Linda. I can’t tell you the last time I was truly happy. I have been struggling with a dead-end relationship that has been going on for four years. His name is Mark, and he’s a Scorpio. He’s complicated but magnetic. I can’t seem to let go, when all the signs are there, telling me I’m on the wrong path. He’s done me so much wrong, yet I still love him and he tells me he loves me and I believe him. I feel like I’m in a twilight zone, like he put a spell on me. Just when I’ve had it and have made up my mind to break free from him, somehow I’m right back. I feel like he makes me weak. I know all I have to do to find peace is move on, but whenever I try, I just miss him terribly. It’s sickening, Soul Arcanum. I wish I wasn’t so depressed all the time. It’s not heathy. Is it possible that I’m somehow “under his spell” for real? If you reply, I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

Linda

Dear Linda:

I really feel for you. Part of me wants to lovingly shake you and tell you to snap out of it, but I have been where you are, and it’s just not that simple.

I consider myself to be a very strong woman. Some have even called me intimidating. I am the master of my universe, the orchestrator of my fate. That didn’t save me, however, from “falling prey” to the kind of addictive relationship you’re describing here many years ago.

I have seen the same sort of thing happen to others time and time again, and often to the nicest people you’d ever want to meet. Being nice – too nice – is part of the equation. These addictive relationships often offer the most euphoric, compelling sexual chemistry we’ve ever experienced. It’s like our heads know better, but there’s something primal within us that just can’t resist. Our childhoods play a role too. Whether alcohol or some other addiction is clearly involved or not, we’re all wise to ponder if perhaps we’re reenacting patterns from long ago.

Let’s first consider that you may simply be a victim of your own addiction to the intensity of this relationship. You imagine that he is “holding you” or has “put a spell on you,” but in truth, he’s just unconsciously going about getting his own energy needs met, and is unaware or doesn’t care how it all affects you. In this scenario, you’re a victim of your own addiction. You love the way you feel with him when things are good (and in this sort of relationship, the “highs” usually match amp for amp the lows, or no one would stick around all that long). No one has ever made you feel so alive, so even though it’s devastating when things are bad, you go through withdrawals when you’re not with him.

The number one thing you need to do if this is the case, you’re already doing. You’re recognizing that you’re “under a spell” of some kind, but what I want you to recognize is that the spell may not be something he is doing to you, but rather is something coming from within you. You are not a helpless victim. Think of it more like you’ve been drugged, and so your entire thought process is totally out of whack. You need to get off the drugs for a while (out of this relationship and away from him) before you’ll be able to think clearly and feel like yourself again.

Now, this does not negate the reality that others can and do influence us all the time. If you get hooked up with someone with intense, magnetic energy, you will feel just as you describe: like you can’t help yourself. Someone who is really energetically powerful can turn you upside down and leave you in an emotional puddle on the floor.

I had a girlfriend once who was a beautiful, intelligent, talented and sweet young woman. She was also a witch, meaning that she practiced Wicca, and she was rockin’ powerful. She had seen right through all the cultural issues that have subjugated women for millennia, had reclaimed her strength as a woman and thoroughly embraced feminism. She fell in love with a young man who was also spiritual, beautiful, into tantra, etc., and together, they fell into the sort of relationship you’re describing. On top of it all, this young man was Muslim, and he was a very experienced martial artist and in a heavy duty relationship with a spiritual teacher/guru of some kind. (I was never sure if the guru was his spiritual teacher or his martial arts master; it seemed he was both).

We all knew that this relationship was bad for her. It almost seemed like a bizarre spiritual test of her inner strength and her feminist convictions. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she broke away from him, but she still wasn’t free. This is when she gathered her coven around her and pleaded for help. She said that he was astrally stalking her. When questioned, she explained that he would appear outside her window just staring at her menacingly, or just seem to materialize in the strangest places. She said she’d sense him, and suddenly he was just standing some distance away from her, wherever she may be, looking at her. At first, she thought he was physically there, but then she realized that he was astrally traveling to “stalk” her. Given who he was and all the stuff he was into, it seemed like if anyone could pull stuff like that off, it would be him. She was unable to eat or sleep; she probably weighed about 85 pounds at this point. The time had come for action. I don’t have room to go into the ritual that was employed to set her free, but it did work.

Please understand that up until this point, no one could have really helped her because part of her was fleeing from him, but another part of her was holding on at the same time. Only when everything in her was ready to be free was it possible for her to break away.

Since you believe in the power of spells, it’s time for you to try one of your own. Whether he’s consciously holding you or not, it can’t hurt! I recommend you get a couple of friends to help you. Choose women you admire for their inner fortitude; they’ll have the strength you need to draw upon. (Readers, please note that it’s not just women who suffer as Linda is suffering, and men can of course take the same sort of approach to breaking free of addictive relationships).

I don’t have the space here to offer you a detailed spell, but I will give you the basics of what you need to do, and then you can do your own research on casting spells in general and incorporate these elements into your own ritual. I don’t believe the power of spell work comes from the color of the candles you choose or even the sage you burn: it comes from your focused intention, so the details are really unimportant. It’s all about your energy!

Gather your friends and together affirm your very clear intention to the universe that you now choose to be free of this destructive relationship. Pray for help from God, Spirit, Angels, Artemis – whoever you feel inspired to draw upon. Together, you must declare that from this time forward, you will be free. Then you must declare that as you wish, so it is. Then visualize yourself cutting ALL chords to this man. You may be tempted to “save” a couple, to keep a small link to him. Recognize that this will be your undoing, and cut them. You can incorporate candles, chants, etc. You can write down all that you don’t want from this relationship any more and burn it, then write down what you do want and save it – whatever works for you. Make your spell/ ritual appealing, vivid and absorbing. Try it on a new moon to affirm your new freedom and your new start.

Once you’re “out” of this, you’ll look back and just be amazed at how you once felt you couldn’t break free. Your own higher self and your guides have led you to conscious awareness that this is becoming a very unhealthy situation, so from here on out, you can’t truly be held against your will unless you allow yourself to be.

If you find yourself struggling with all of this, I encourage you to make good use of the tools you’ll find HERE. Once you’re ready, the process entitled Manifest Big Love will set you on a path to a relationship that is so big, deep and fulfilling that you will never look back wistfully on this relationship again.

May Spirit light your way to new freedom, love and joy!

– Soul Arcanum

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