Category: Spiritual Growth


Lightning Strike Awakening

Filed Under: Psychic Ability, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Lightning Strike Awakening


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

In June of 2008, I was at the lake for a surprise party for my 48th birthday. It was a day I will never forget. A sudden storm came up, and the tree I was under was hit by lightning. I caught some of what my physicians called “flash over current.” I wound up with singed hair and a major concussion. I struggled with memory issues and headaches for a few months, some of which continue today. A few months afterward, something happened that I can’t explain. I honestly thought I was losing my mind! I started having visions, seeing swirling colors when I closed my eyes to relax, seeing faces of people I hadn’t yet met (but met later) in clouds, and hearing voices. The most startling was discovering that stones and crystals seem to speak to me. I found this out quite accidentally at a jewelry store when I picked up a bracelet and it vibrated. At times, the sky “calls” me to come outside because it has something to tell me, and when I do, there are messages in the clouds. This has been both disconcerting and incredibly interesting, as I never know what will happen next. Could this lightning strike have awakened some ability that I was previously unaware of? What do I do with it now?

Mel

Dear Mel:

I think you would be very interested in Dannion Brinkley’s books, especially Saved by the Light. In fact, I’m surprised you haven’t stumbled across them already, for much like you, Dannion was struck by lightning, had a near death experience, and then a profound psychic awakening. You can find the fascinating story of his first near death experience In fact, I’m surprised you haven’t stumbled across them already, for much like you, Dannion was struck by lightning, had a near death experience, and then a profound psychic awakening.

Though you don’t remember having a near death experience, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Further, whether or not you traveled through a tunnel toward a divine light where you met a being of unimaginable love and compassion and all the rest, you almost died, and almost dying is known to spark profound spiritual transformations.

In fact, trauma of any kind – physical, emotional, mental or spiritual – is known to be a powerful initiator of spiritual awakenings. For this reason, shamans and mystics will actually induce trauma through fasting, sleep deprivation, physical pain and other practices in order to disassociate from the physical body and align with the spirit world. Some say that this leads to a purification of the body or a shift into a higher vibration. Certainly there is a relationship between physical and emotional “suffering” and spiritual growth and awareness. It sounds like you have yet to consciously label what you’re going through as a spiritual awakening, but that is precisely what is causing these extraordinary experiences.

There are a couple of reasons why you may be especially confused and disoriented by all of this. Usually, psychic awakening is a result of years of spiritual practice and devotion, so those who experience it both welcome and understand the strange and wonderful things that begin to happen to them.

I imagine people who have a conscious near death experience would tend to have an easier time with all the changes that occur in the aftermath than those who have no idea what happened to them. When people of no great spiritual background die only to find themselves outside of their bodies and very much “alive,” they are naturally catapulted on a conscious quest for greater spiritual understanding. Most people who have a near death experience come back knowing that they will be forever changed. These changes often include new psychic abilities, which may be amazing but are also accepted as part and parcel of the profound transformation they are undergoing on every level.

When awakening occurs suddenly as a result of trauma, as it did for you, it can be very unsettling. Since you didn’t have a conscious near death experience, it makes sense to me that you didn’t notice these changes right away. You had no reason to question the “reality” you had lived in all the years of your life, and it doesn’t sound like this experience launched you on a big spiritual quest – at least not until strange psychic events began to occur.

A related term for the spiritual awakening you’re going through is “kundalini experience.” (You might find it very helpful to research that term.) As a surge in the life force energy known as kundalini can spark a sudden spiritual awakening, I imagine any surge in energy through the body could have a similar effect. I’m suggesting that you may have been hit double, first by the surge of energy from the lightning, and second from the subsequent surge in life force/kundalini energy that this trauma unleashed.

Spiritual awakenings and kundalini experiences are known to induce psychic abilities. Frequent headaches and/or strange feelings of pressure in the head are one of the most common kundalini symptoms. Kundalini surges have also been known to cause amnesia or memory loss. As you can see, all of these fit what you experienced after being struck by lightning.

Why trauma causes a surge in kundalini is debatable. As I see it, incarnating into a physical body involves “stepping down” our spiritual vibration in order to remain anchored to this plane. It is unusual to leave our physical bodies and then return to them again, especially in a conscious manner. To do so is to reconnect with the higher vibration of the soul and to shift our general vibration in that direction. This is why practicing astral projection, leaving the body in a near death experience, and mentally disassociating from the physical via prolonged meditation lead to profound spiritual transformation and greater psychic awareness: through these experiences, we are reconnected to the higher vibration of the spirit world.

I must admit that I have never heard of anyone being called by the sky or receiving “messages” in the clouds before. However, the idea that we can receive messages “from the heavens” is as old as time, and there are many people who see visions in clouds. While there could be all sorts of explanations for your special relationship with the sky, I’m betting your spirit guides have simply found this to be the easiest or most effective way to get your attention in order to communicate with you. If you further develop your psychic awareness and begin to dialogue with these messengers in the sky, you may discover the true source of these communications.

As for how you are to handle all of this, the answer is carefully. You’ll want to relax into this new awareness and at the same time remain well grounded. Balance is the key to a smooth, pleasant journey. When undergoing kundalini surges, life becomes something of an exciting roller coaster. Your whole being is rapidly changing and experiencing all sorts of peaks and valleys as it integrates this new level of energy, so it’s especially important to honor your true needs. Sometimes you will feel called to dig in to spiritual practice or use your gifts in new ways; other times you will feel like taking a break from all this spiritual stuff so you can just enjoy physical life. Your needs may change from one moment to the next as your energy waxes and wanes, so you’ll have to be extra mindful to honor your feelings and inner guidance for a while.

– Soul Arcanum

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Breaking Free of Helplessness

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Breaking Free of Helplessness


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Over the years I have become emotionally depressed and unhappy. I used to be a gal who would keep herself clean. I was happy and a go-getter. However, for the past seven years I have been emotionally depressed. I stay in the same clothes for weeks at a time and rarely shower or brush my teeth. I think about suicide a lot. My blood relatives are abusive and uncaring, and I live with a man I have a child with but I don’t feel an emotional attachment to either one of them. I want so badly for this man to leave my home but he refuses. He does nothing for me emotionally, physically or spiritually. This is a very unhealthy relationship. I’ve also lost my looks and gained 60 pounds. Sometimes I can’t even leave my home to shop for groceries. I need insights into what to do before I just can’t take this life anymore.

Randi

Dear Margo:

Since you’re having suicidal thoughts, I urge you to get medical help. None of the spiritual or practical ideas I suggest will be helpful if you can’t summon the will to live. In addition to your family physician, there are suicide hotlines you can call to get information about other local resources; please pick up the phone and reach out for local help today.

There are many things that can cause depression. Generally speaking, depression occurs when life force energy is inadequate or repressed. The greater our life force energy, the greater our health, happiness and personal power. Depression isn’t a feeling so much as an absence of feeling, a lack of passion, desire and all that gives life color.

Your depression probably began when you were going through a period of great angst due to the troubled relationships in your life. Perhaps you felt there was no good answer or solution, or you felt guilty for feeling the way you did, so you shut down emotionally to escape endless torment. Unfortunately, this eventually led you to stop feeling much of anything at all.

To break free, you’ll have to find the courage to feel whatever is behind this emotional numbness. This won’t be easy; you must be very afraid of facing the truth to have put yourself through so much suffering already.

In failing to honor the truth in your own heart, you are betraying yourself. When we deny our true feelings, when we say yes instead of no, when we don’t allow ourselves to leave miserable relationships due to guilt, when we do anything that goes against our true desires and needs, we disconnect from our emotional body. This leads us to disconnect from the voice of our intuition, which is why people can get endlessly stuck in depression: they can’t hear their inner guidance trying to tell them what to do to feel better.

As I mentioned above, the first thing is to seek medical help. After this, there are lots of practical steps you can take to shift toward positive change, but it may be hard for you to summon the will to get moving. This is where a sincere, caring hypnotherapist and/or energy healer may prove invaluable.

A hypnotherapist can help you consciously realize the fears that are keeping you stuck so you can face whatever is behind the depression and find a way through it. An energy healer can help you get your chi moving again without you having to summon the will to do anything except passively open up to receiving an influx of the life force energy you’re starving for. Such a healer can also temporarily clear away blocks and thus facilitate a greater flow of energy through your whole being, which will empower you to take constructive action.

For changes to last, however, you will have to renovate your inner world, and this is going to require a lot of effort on your part. You’re going to have to learn to think more positively, visualize what you desire, and take good care of yourself. You’ll have to learn how to better control what you think, feel, say and do; how to generate a higher flow of life force energy yourself; how to cultivate healthy relationships; how to love yourself better. There are endless spiritual practices and therapies that can help you with all of this.

It would be helpful to view depression as primarily a life force energy problem. You might explore Eastern ideas like feng shui and Qigong to gain understanding of how energy flow affects our health and happiness. This will motivate you to take the practical steps necessary to encourage a greater flow of life force energy. By taking small, simple steps to boost the energy available to you, you’ll empower yourself to take on the deeper issues at work here.

Once the outside help you receive has you capable of taking action on your own behalf, there are many little things you can do to launch yourself on an upward spiral.

First, clean yourself up! Take a shower, wash your hair, put on clean clothes. If you find this daunting, take just one step: turn on the faucet to heat the water. Then take another little step, and another. Before you know it, you will be clean and feeling much better. (Physical hygiene is directly related to metaphysical hygiene, so if you’re dirty physically, your aura is full of yucky energies too. This is why taking a shower can make us feel emotionally and mentally refreshed.)

There are lots of other things you can do to raise your vibration and boost your life force energy, which will both make you feel better and empower you to create whatever you want in your life. I don’t have room to list them all here, so check out this former column. These ideas may sound too simple to do much, but if you summon the will to work with them, they will work for you.

Above all, however, you must remedy the root cause of this depression to be free of it for good. As I mentioned above, this appears to be a classic case of self-betrayal. You are forcing yourself to deny the truth in your heart by staying in this relationship. Further, when two people are very unhappy together, negative feelings just keep circulating and dragging them both down into an ever more toxic situation.

To break free of depression, it’s imperative you trust your heart and take action accordingly. If your inner being is telling you that you must get out of this relationship, then your emotional pain is actually trying to help you by pushing you to take action. A good therapist can help you figure out how to create the outer circumstances your inner being is calling for.

To find true peace and happiness in life, you must listen to and honor the truth in your own heart above all. While you’re learning to do this, it would be wise stay away from people who bring you down, stress you out, or make you doubt yourself. Also, strive to act loving to yourself and others regardless of what other people do. This will make you feel good about yourself, draw positive energy to you, and shift you into harmony with a higher level of experience.

The fact that you wrote me for help is a positive, encouraging sign: it means you do want to live and find happiness. If you take the steps outlined above, you’ll begin to pull yourself out of this hole of despair, and eventually you’ll find yourself in the sun, feeling like your old self again. Please also remember the power of prayer: you have spirit guides and angels who are ever ready to help you find your way to greater health, peace and happiness.

– Soul Arcanum

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Self-Betrayal and Depression

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Self-Betrayal and Depression


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Over the years I have become emotionally depressed and unhappy. I used to be a gal who would keep herself clean. I was happy and a go-getter. However, for the past seven years I have been emotionally depressed. I stay in the same clothes for weeks at a time and rarely shower or brush my teeth. I think about suicide a lot. My blood relatives are abusive and uncaring, and I live with a man I have a child with but I don’t feel an emotional attachment to either one of them. I want so badly for this man to leave my home but he refuses. He does nothing for me emotionally, physically or spiritually. This is a very unhealthy relationship. I’ve also lost my looks and gained 60 pounds. Sometimes I can’t even leave my home to shop for groceries. I need insights into what to do before I just can’t take this life anymore.

Randi

Dear Randi:

Since you’re having suicidal thoughts, I urge you to get medical help. None of the spiritual or practical ideas I suggest will be helpful if you can’t summon the will to live. In addition to your family physician, there are suicide hotlines you can call to get information about other local resources; please pick up the phone and reach out for local help today.

There are many things that can cause depression. Generally speaking, depression occurs when life force energy is inadequate or repressed. The greater our life force energy, the greater our health, happiness and personal power. Depression isn’t a feeling so much as an absence of feeling, a lack of passion, desire and all that gives life color.

Your depression probably began when you were going through a period of great angst due to the troubled relationships in your life. Perhaps you felt there was no good answer or solution, or you felt guilty for feeling the way you did, so you shut down emotionally to escape endless torment. Unfortunately, this eventually led you to stop feeling much of anything at all.

To break free, you’ll have to find the courage to feel whatever is behind this emotional numbness. This won’t be easy; you must be very afraid of facing the truth to have put yourself through so much suffering already.

In failing to honor the truth in your own heart, you are betraying yourself. When we deny our true feelings, when we say yes instead of no, when we don’t allow ourselves to leave miserable relationships due to guilt, when we do anything that goes against our true desires and needs, we disconnect from our emotional body. This leads us to disconnect from the voice of our intuition, which is why people can get endlessly stuck in depression: they can’t hear their inner guidance trying to tell them what to do to feel better.

As I mentioned above, the first thing is to seek medical help. After this, there are lots of practical steps you can take to shift toward positive change, but it may be hard for you to summon the will to get moving. This is where a sincere, caring hypnotherapist and/or energy healer may prove invaluable.

A hypnotherapist can help you consciously realize the fears that are keeping you stuck so you can face whatever is behind the depression and find a way through it. An energy healer can help you get your chi moving again without you having to summon the will to do anything except passively open up to receiving an influx of the life force energy you’re starving for. Such a healer can also temporarily clear away blocks and thus facilitate a greater flow of energy through your whole being, which will empower you to take constructive action.

For changes to last, however, you will have to renovate your inner world, and this is going to require a lot of effort on your part. You’re going to have to learn to think more positively, visualize what you desire, and take good care of yourself. You’ll have to learn how to better control what you think, feel, say and do; how to generate a higher flow of life force energy yourself; how to cultivate healthy relationships; how to love yourself better. There are endless spiritual practices and therapies that can help you with all of this.

It would be helpful to view depression as primarily a life force energy problem. You might explore Eastern ideas like feng shui and Qigong to gain understanding of how energy flow affects our health and happiness. This will motivate you to take the practical steps necessary to encourage a greater flow of life force energy. By taking small, simple steps to boost the energy available to you, you’ll empower yourself to take on the deeper issues at work here.

Once the outside help you receive has you capable of taking action on your own behalf, there are many little things you can do to launch yourself on an upward spiral.

First, clean yourself up! Take a shower, wash your hair, put on clean clothes. If you find this daunting, take just one step: turn on the faucet to heat the water. Then take another little step, and another. Before you know it, you will be clean and feeling much better. (Physical hygiene is directly related to metaphysical hygiene, so if you’re dirty physically, your aura is full of yucky energies too. This is why taking a shower can make us feel emotionally and mentally refreshed.)

There are lots of other things you can do to raise your vibration and boost your life force energy, which will both make you feel better and empower you to create whatever you want in your life. I don’t have room to list them all here, so check out this former column. These ideas may sound too simple to do much, but if you summon the will to work with them, they will work for you.

Above all, however, you must remedy the root cause of this depression to be free of it for good. As I mentioned above, this appears to be a classic case of self-betrayal. You are forcing yourself to deny the truth in your heart by staying in this relationship. Further, when two people are very unhappy together, negative feelings just keep circulating and dragging them both down into an ever more toxic situation.

To break free of depression, it’s imperative you trust your heart and take action accordingly. If your inner being is telling you that you must get out of this relationship, then your emotional pain is actually trying to help you by pushing you to take action. A good therapist can help you figure out how to create the outer circumstances your inner being is calling for.

To find true peace and happiness in life, you must listen to and honor the truth in your own heart above all. While you’re learning to do this, it would be wise stay away from people who bring you down, stress you out, or make you doubt yourself. Also, strive to act loving to yourself and others regardless of what other people do. This will make you feel good about yourself, draw positive energy to you, and shift you into harmony with a higher level of experience.

The fact that you wrote me for help is a positive, encouraging sign: it means you do want to live and find happiness. If you take the steps outlined above, you’ll begin to pull yourself out of this hole of despair, and eventually you’ll find yourself in the sun, feeling like your old self again. Please also remember the power of prayer: you have spirit guides and angels who are ever ready to help you find your way to greater health, peace and happiness.

– Soul Arcanum

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Is Confession Good for the Soul?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Is Confession Good for the Soul?

 

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I was raised Catholic and regularly attended church as well as confession while growing up. I am now what you might call a recovering Catholic, as some years ago I began to question the teachings of the Church and to explore my own spiritual path. I’m at peace with this for the most part, but I’ve found that I deeply miss the practice of confession. I feel like my soul has become heavy and polluted without this regular cleansing, and this feeling has me wondering if perhaps the Church was fulfilling a true spiritual need that I won’t be able to meet on my own. Do you have any advice for me?

Bea

Dear Bea:

Confession as a rite of spiritual healing and purification is perhaps universal. Certainly many religious and spiritual traditions incorporate some form of confession as a path to metaphysical renewal.

When we are unable to face ourselves honestly and truly look at the nature of our thoughts, feelings and actions, we distance ourselves from our own higher selves. The more honest we are in our relationship to our true self, the more at peace we feel and the more we can commune with Source. When we face things as they happen, we process them and move on from them. Whatever we can’t face and work through at that time, we carry with us until we find the courage and wisdom to deal with it. This is the power of confession: it guides us in facing and releasing things from the past that we’ve been consciously and unconsciously lugging around with us.

It was once widely believed that if we died with unconfessed sins on our souls, we wouldn’t get into heaven. It’s my understanding that where we go when we leave this life is largely determined by our own beliefs and expectations, so if we feel guilty about things we’ve done that we haven’t made peace with when we die, we could end up in some sort of “purgatory” where we have to work through all the feelings and issues we haven’t consciously faced yet. Most of us are familiar with the idea that when we die, we experience a life review, during which we must relive all the joy and sorrow we caused other people. The more we’ve made peace with the past while still living, the easier this life review should be when we die, so there may be a sound metaphysical basis for religious practices like confession.

Of course, we don’t have to be Catholic or confess to a priest to unburden ourselves of whatever may be weighing on our conscience; there are all sorts of other ways people achieve the same sense of freedom and release. Many people seek emotional peace in conventional psychological counseling. Similarly, my clients often choose me as the person to help them work through feelings of guilt or shame. From pornography addictions to marital infidelity to “evil” thoughts and feelings, I’ve heard it all over the years, and Spirit always has a loving, healing perspective to help people realign with peace and well-being.

So what makes us long for redemption? On some level we are all aware of the karma we are carrying and how it will weigh us down and drag us back into situations where it can be balanced and we can learn whatever we need to learn. We don’t need a priest or counselor to advise us, however; we can meditate upon this ourselves and follow our own hearts in determining how to make things right. In my view, this is truly taking responsibility for our actions and will prove far more powerful than having some appointed official intone words of blessings over our heads. Besides, it’s essential to determine and live by our own moral code. When we try to follow rules set down by some outside authority that don’t resonate with our own inner truth, we just set ourselves up for more angst and neuroses instead of peace and personal growth.

To balance karma, first we must face the truth about our actions. Usually, it is feelings of guilt or shame that lead us to examine our behavior and realize that we’ve acted against our own values. Then we must admit our error to ourselves and whatever higher power we may be calling upon in our quest for personal growth and healing. Sometimes, admitting our error is simply a matter of apologizing to whomever we feel we’ve wronged. Finally, we have to do what we can to make things right. This is how we balance our karma and move toward a higher level of experience.

When we open up and “get things off our chests,” the energy in our auras starts to move and locked up energy starts to dissipate. Basically, when we hold things in, we create tension; when we speak them out loud or open up about them, we get that energy moving again. When the energy is moving, it can be healed, transformed and/or released. Confessing in whatever way feels right and best to us can set us free from karmic backlash because we no longer have the residual energies of that experience acting like a magnet for further related experiences. When we let go of feeling bad for something we did in the past, we rise in vibration and can attract something better in the future.

While all of this can be done internally, there is great power in putting things into words. There is an intense process in yoga called the maha vasana daha tantra or “great purification of the subconscious by fire.” It involves writing down ten pages of memories for each year of one’s life and then burning those pages. It is said that this naturally sets us free from the past and whatever issues may still be active for us on a subconscious level. It’s a bit like hypnotherapy in terms of the instant healing that can happen when we bring things up into our conscious awareness and relive them from a new perspective. Many say that performing this ritual left them feeling profoundly clear, free, joyful, unburdened, and at one with the Universe.

Of course, it’s important to honor your needs as you have been doing and to find whatever works best for you. If writing isn’t appealing, you might find a spiritual counselor you feel comfortable talking to or come up with something else that feels right. For example, if you’re more tactile than verbal, you could create a meditation altar on which you place symbolic tokens of your burdens to be healed and released.

I read somewhere that confession is a surrender of your past to God to be dissolved in divine love. It’s a way to start over from scratch and realign with the divine perfection of your eternal soul. Through it, you can be instantly freed and healed from the past and open to a bright, fresh future. The method you choose isn’t important; what’s important is to open your heart with complete honesty and commit to becoming a better person.

If you can pour all of your soul into it, this simple ritual may suffice:

Sit quietly and allow anything that has been weighing on your conscience to come to mind. Ask yourself what you have learned from this experience and how you could do better in the future. Then simply pray: Universe, please heal me from the past. Cleanse and renew my spirit so that I may walk forward embodying my higher nature and radiating love, wisdom, compassion, courage and integrity in all I think, say and do. Visualize divine love washing over and through you, cleansing your soul clean of any guilt, remorse and negative karma. When you feel clear, let go of worrying about the past, and focus on integrating what you’ve learned by being a better person from that point forward.

– Soul Arcanum

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On Conquering Evil

Filed Under: Spirits, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on On Conquering Evil

 

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I would describe myself as a talented psychic who is confident about helping common poltergeists cross over. However, I once encountered a very dark, powerful energy in an old New England graveyard. The entire place reeked of corrupt, negative energy. I believe there was a portal there as well as one or more strong entities. At the time, I was young and unprepared for such matters, so I ran away and never went back. Is it possible for humans to cleanse a location that is this bad? What big guns or tools can psychics use to conquer evil?

A.

Dear A.

My views on this subject may surprise a lot of people. I believe we are wise to respect all life forms in the Universe, so I don’t see myself on the side of the good guys, battling evil. While good and evil DO battle, if we want to make the Universe a brighter place, fighting isn’t the answer.

Instead of conquering evil beings, my aim is to help people who want to heal find new well-being, guide people toward greater fulfillment, learn my own personal lessons and radiate love into the world. So if I had encountered what you did in that cemetery, I would probably have done the same thing you did by leaving that darkness for a lighter, happier place.

I view dark or evil entities much as most people view lions: they are dangerous when hungry and should be respected as such, but they have as much right to exist as any other creature. In some ways, they’re like deeply troubled teenagers: they may be lost and miserable but that doesn’t mean they want my help, share my values or are eager to become more like me.

Instead of endlessly trying to improve upon nature, I try to remain humble and trusting of it. We are all explorers in this vast spiritual wilderness. Some creatures are dangerous to humans, but we don’t have to destroy, banish or attempt to tame them, we just need to stay away from them.

In accordance with these views, I don’t think it’s our “job” to try to cross over every earthbound spirit we meet or convert every demon that crosses our paths. Even earthbound spirits have free will, which is why guides and angels let them do their own thing until they ask for help with moving on.

We’re also wise to trust our instincts and intuition, as you did when you fled that cemetery. Your question reminded me of the Grizzly Guy who loved bears so much it literally killed him. (I’m referring to the guy who befriended and made documentaries about bears and was attacked and killed by one.) We feel profound aversion to evil energies for a good reason. There are some endeavors that are foolish to pursue, and single-handedly cleansing the Universe of evil is probably at the top of that list.

While I’m not one to go looking for ghosts to bust, I do believe in helping the troubled people and spirits I meet when I feel called to do so. When I have felt called to try to clear a space of evil influences, it has always been because it was affecting people there who wanted my help, not because I felt the space itself should be different.

There are many people who actively engage dark forces out of a sense of personal mission. While I would never question another person’s calling, for me this is just another drama people like to get caught up in; instead of working on their own inner shadows, they seek shadows outside of themselves to wrestle with. Of course, life itself is one big drama we’re all caught up in. We are definitely wise to act on our passions and follow our hearts, so if some people feel called to wrestle with evil, I say more power to them!

As concerns protection from evil, you may be able to put fancy things like sage, incense, talismans, special rituals and the like to good use, but they are ultimately unnecessary because the only thing strong enough to ensure your success and well-being is an unwaveringly high vibration founded on a combination of perfect love and perfect faith.

Working with evil will certainly test the strength of one’s faith. This truth is often illustrated in great legends where many seekers fail by succumbing to fear/ego while the hero triumphs when his inner strength and faith shine brighter and more powerfully than anything dark forces can dish out.

I used to believe that there was great power in ancient religious belief systems based on the combined energy of its many devotees. While this may be true, I’ve heard from many people who called in a priest or minister from a local church only to have the minister flee, falter or fail in the face of evil. At the same time, I’ve heard many stories of one person transforming an evil situation with nothing more than the power of their own personal love, faith and wisdom. I thus believe that when it comes to good vs. evil, the outcome depends entirely on the inner qualities of the person or people trying to influence the situation.

To achieve perfect faith, you have to know that nothing can truly harm you because you are eternal. Our souls are like Etch-a-Sketches: every experience draws a unique picture across the screen. Some are beautiful and some are ugly, but none of them can damage us on a soul level. Once we shake an experience off, we’re ready for the next one. Further, every experience is to be embraced, for every experience blesses us with opportunities to learn and grow. When we are beyond any fear that evil can permanently harm us and we know that everything happens for a good reason, it’s easy to relax into a state of loving trust. When we love goodness more than we fear evil, we become powerful forces for good in the world.

Trying to conquer or destroy anything ultimately doesn’t work, so the wise focus on creating what they want instead of trying to destroy what they don’t want. It is thus far more effective to infuse a space with peace and love than to try to banish dark energies. Since what we experience is a reflection of our own inner landscape, if we encounter darkness and we want to be free of it, we have only to turn up our inner light, for this will naturally move us from troubling territory to a brighter psychic landscape.

The Universe is a mysterious, beautiful, wondrous and wild creation. There is so much here that is beyond our understanding that we are wise to trust in the way things are. To feel compelled to try to make things the way we think they should be everywhere we go is a bit like walking through the wilderness, trimming the hedges, pulling up weeds, mowing meadows, etc. Nothing is broken; it’s all perfect the way it is. Ironically, it’s when we can see and trust in this perfection that we become most empowered to influence it.

All of the above aside, we are all free to choose where we’d like to live via our vibration. Moment by moment, we are all always doing this through our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and expectations. There will always be mountain ranges, valleys and shorelines as well as swamps, deserts and ghettos. There will always be lions as well as lambs. If you focus on lions, whether you do so with love or a desire to rid the world of them, you will tend to attract more of them into your experience and give them more power through your attention. If instead, you seek to embody peace and well-being, you will naturally find yourself in beautiful places surrounded by lovely creatures, and the world will be a bit brighter because instead of worrying, struggling, and fighting the things that disturb you, you are radiating love, light and faith.

– Soul Arcanum

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Dealing with Social Predators in a Spiritual Way

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Karma, Law of Attraction, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Dealing with Social Predators in a Spiritual Way

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My nanny of almost three years has just left and I found out that she has been stealing money from me the whole time. Just before she left she emptied my wallet, stole all my travel money and also my staff’s wages. I’m now also hearing stories of how cruel and domineering she was to my child. She came to me when my baby was two months old. I’m a single mum with no family around, and was in such a state that she was a godsend. She instantly became part of my little family. I trusted her so much that I was in complete denial and refused to believe she could be stealing even though my money seemed to be running through my fingers. In front of me she was good with my child and when my daughter didn’t want to be with her I thought it was only because she wanted to be with me. I feel so betrayed by her. I’m on a mission to be the best person I can be, and it seems like people take advantage of me and see my kindness as a weakness. My nature is to trust and I was brought up to be polite. I even gave the woman a letter of reference, and now she can go do the same to someone else! She’s certainly not the first person to pull the wool over my eyes. How do kind, sensitive people guard themselves against social predators like this? What is an appropriate spiritual way to react towards her? I have to prevent myself from visualizing her meeting a grizzly end! Your spiritual guidance is much appreciated.
Suz

Dear Suz:

You’re wise to seek a spiritual way to deal with all of this, for how you respond to this experience will greatly affect your life. If you can make peace with it and learn from it, you’ll move on to a higher level of experience; if you let it get the best of you, you’ll repeat this pattern time after time until you’ve transcended it.

In this scenario, you’re like a peaceful, gentle gazelle happily grazing in a sunny meadow. You’re living in a world that is full of all sorts of other creatures, however, like jelly fish, hornets, crocodiles and lions. If you think about all the different creatures in the world and how different even individual creatures of the same species can be from each other, it’s clear that life on Earth is rich with all sorts of colorful potentials.

If you now imagine that there are as many different sorts of people in the world as there are different types of creatures, I think you’ll quickly grasp my point: we’re all different, and we all act according to our own nature.

Where spiritual types like you are like gentle gazelles, the social predators you refer to are more like lions than lambs. They’re not evil – they’re just driven by their own needs and appetites, and doing what they believe they have to do in order to survive. If you expect everyone to behave like gazelles do, you’ll be shocked and disturbed time and time again.

Fortunately, we non-predators have been blessed with special survival instincts. If you visualize a deer grazing in a field, you’ll note that even though it can seem perfectly peaceful, it’s always alert. If it catches the scent of danger or sees something moving in the bushes, it’s ever ready to leap toward safety.

Like deer with sensitive survival instincts, highly spiritual people have very keen intuition. It’s hard to imagine a deer ignoring signs of danger, but many of us ignore our intuition all too often. We get a whiff that something isn’t right, but we talk ourselves out of listening and try to put the thought out of our minds. This effectively silences our intuition, and the more we do it, the harder it becomes to hear our inner voice.

There are lots of reasons we do this. For one, when we ponder big ideas and higher spiritual principles, we focus beyond the world of money and other practical needs. When we go through periods of deep spiritual contemplation, it’s easy to move into a dream world in our heads even though our bodies are still living in the physical.

We’re also at a tricky point where we identify more and more with our higher selves, yet we’re not totally free of the lower vibrations that could make us vulnerable to undesirable experiences. For example, we may be full of faith and trust, but if there is karma to be resolved with someone or some buried wound, fear or issue at work in our subconscious mind, we can still attract the sort of experience you describe. You say this woman was not the first person to pull the wool over your eyes. No doubt when this happened in the past, you didn’t fully resolve the feelings involved. This pattern will keep coming up for you until you do, for if you have fear or resistance to something, it will come to you if you’re not consciously manifesting something else.

We also argue with our intuition because we have been socialized to be nice to such a degree that we can’t allow ourselves to have suspicious thoughts about others even if they’re obviously true.

I’m not saying that this experience was your fault. In fact, I think it’s important that you allow yourself to feel angry. You have every reason to be enraged, and telling yourself that you should feel more spiritual about the whole thing will just keep that anger buried. Once you’ve grown tired of feeling angry, however, you can begin to make peace with all of this by accepting the following three truths:

First: Nothing can truly harm you, for you are so much more than this experience and even this lifetime, and you get infinite chances to fulfill your dreams. When you experience a major drama like this, you can be sure you’re learning something, so despite surface appearances, all is well.

Second: None of this is personal. People act according to their own natures and desires. If you don’t pay attention and consciously create what you want in your life, you may become the vulnerable, daydreaming gazelle at the back of the herd.

Third: You have divine gifts and powers that can help you. Spiritual people generally have keener intuition and a clearer connection with spiritual guidance than most. If you pay attention to your intuition, it will keep you on track with what you desire.

In addition to your intuition, your spirituality will empower you to consciously manifest what you want in your life. The good news here is that it will be relatively easy for you to financially recover and move on from this experience to something much better. To do this, however, you have to consciously work with the law of attraction.

Sometimes we are taken unawares, and then we look back and realize there were signs that we ignored. As we rush through life making countless decisions each day, we all manifest many things unconsciously. This is because in addition to all our conscious thoughts, feelings and desires, we have all sorts of subconscious influences contributing to the mix, such as buried beliefs, emotional wounds, old karma, etc.

The more we remain conscious of our own energy/vibration and what’s happening beneath the surface of our awareness, the more power we’ll have to manifest what we want. In addition, when we pay attention to our intuition and purposefully work with it to attract the sorts of people and experiences we desire, life just gets better and better.

To make peace with this experience, you must accept that not everyone in the world is like you, and that this is ultimately a good thing. If you view it from the right angle, this situation can become a springboard to a higher level of experience. I recommend you let it to motivate you to make better use of your spiritual gifts, and then focus your divine creative energy on manifesting new blessings.

– Soul Arcanum

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Empathy and Emotional Control

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Intuitive Development, Psychic Ability, Psychic Protection, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Empathy and Emotional Control

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a few years ago, and while I agree with the diagnosis, the label doesn’t quite fit me. I am fairly psychic and more so all the time. I’m clairsentient: I feel too much, care too much (though I don’t think that’s really true!), and I’m always feeling other people’s feelings. Sometimes the energy of others is so strong it can make me go nearly insane. One big facet of borderline personality is an unclear sense of self. I can’t be in a relationship because days into one I’ll have a flip and think, What the hell am I doing? I don’t like this person! and I’ll bail. Some days I see through the eyes of a poorly evolved person; other days I am lost in the glory of Spirit’s sight. It is a true gift but also a curse because I can’t fit into this human world. I don’t expect you to cure me. I know this is my fate. I just want to know if someone like me can find peace between the two worlds I inhabit, or if I will always struggle. Thanks for listening, Soul Arcanum.
Your friend wading through the unseen worlds with her pants hitched up…
Ingrid

Dear Ingrid:

It sounds like you’re a highly sensitive, empathic person. All empaths have an unclear sense of personal boundaries; this is what enables them to feel what other people are feeling.

I recommend you resist being labeled, for you are so much more than BPD or any other abstract idea. Not long ago, you would have been seen to have an impulsive, sensitive, perhaps artistic nature, but no one would have considered you mentally ill. My sense is that you are able to basically function in life, so I would take a spiritual perspective on your struggles instead of accepting a medical diagnosis like this one.

As for whether or not you will always struggle, it’s important to remember that you have the power to create what you want in your life. Much of what you’re dealing with is challenging for all human beings. We are all affected by other people’s emotional energies; some of us are just more affected than others, or are more aware that those vibes are originating outside of us.

Your relationship issues are also pretty normal. They may be a bit more dramatic for you, or perhaps you are extra self-aware and able to observe yourself in relationships and question why you do the things you do. It is important for empaths to realize that sometimes the emotional swings they experience result from shifts between their own feelings and the feelings of others. For example, if someone really likes us and feels good around us, and we tune in to their emotions, we will feel really good around them too. When we later center in our own truth, we may feel very different. So learning how to stay centered in your own emotional truth is key.

As for creating what you want in your life, it sounds to me like you are already on a path to greater spiritual growth and positive change. You are highly sensitive, self-aware, and clearly desirous of a higher level of experience. You know that you want to find a greater sense of peace, and you are manifesting answers and guidance from the Universe, such as this very article. So in my view, there is no need to feel wrong, incomplete or hopeless; things are not so bad, and they’re getting better all the time.

Ultimately, this is a matter of emotional and psychic control. When we get out of balance in terms of development, we experience struggles like those you describe. For example, when someone is centered in their lower chakras, they may work like crazy but without planning or foresight. Someone who is centered in their heads will tend to be overly rational and analytical, and out of touch with their bodies, hearts and spirits.

In your case, you seem to be at the mercy of your own and others’ emotional energy. Since it’s never wise to repress or deny your feelings, in order to create a better sense of balance, you need to bring other aspects of your being up to speed.

On a physical level, this may mean getting more grounded, strong and healthy. Since you also need to learn how to control emotional energy (your own as well as the psychic energy of others), training in a martial art like Chi Gong may prove very helpful. This will also strengthen your aura, which is your natural defense against outside psychic influences. Yoga would also help you get centered energetically and give you a way to find a calm center within whenever you start to feel frazzled or overwhelmed.

On a mental level, meditation should prove perfect for you, since you need to find a way to get calm and gain control of your emotions. By strengthening your mind, you will learn to control your impulses and also become more aware of what is yours energetically versus what is coming from other people.

On a spiritual level, I recommend learning how to control your psychic sensitivity, and developing greater faith. To control your sensitivity, you must get centered within yourself. When a sensitive person lacks a strong sense of self-awareness and self-control, they’re like a tree without a deep, strong root system: with the slightest breeze they can be blown right over. If you get grounded and centered in your own truth, self-awareness and sense of well-being, you’ll develop personal strength from within. Then no matter how the wind may blow around you, nothing will topple you.

This is all about learning how to set your own tone. This means you decide how you want to feel and you consciously cultivate that vibration from within. Basically, you are deciding who you want to be and how you want to feel, and you are consciously generating that vibration and radiating it outward instead of soaking up the energies all around you.

You can still be sensitive and helpful to others if you do this; in fact, you can be far more helpful. For example, to save someone who is drowning, you don’t want to dive into the water and start drowning yourself; you want to remain stable on the shore, throw them a lifeline, and then pull them in. When you are rooted in a high vibration, you can lift those who are struggling up to a higher state of being.

Faith is absolutely essential, for when you have faith that all is well and everything happens for a good reason, you can remain centered in your higher self even when others are going down. When your faith is sound, you can feel compassion for others without having to literally feel their pain. Some people think they are better healers or counselors if they are empathic, but I disagree: two people in pain is NOT better than one. It’s better to have one person in pain and a caring person who is feeling great who can lift the one who is hurting to higher ground.

Finally, despite what many people may tell you, I encourage you to let go of the idea that you need to be protected from other people’s energy. I know that because you are sensitive, you often feel overwhelmed, but that’s mainly because you resist intense energies out of fear. You’ve been overwhelmed for a long time, and you’ve survived just fine. Instead of trying to protect yourself from intense, dramatic or unsettling energies, RELAX. Trust that everything is and will be fine. Send love to everything and everyone. This will reverse the flow of energy, so instead of being bombarded by others’ feelings, you will radiate your own vibration outward. Divine love will then flow through you, which will make you feel wonderful and may help others in many ways as well.

– Soul Arcanum

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Allowing People to Stay Stuck

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Allowing People to Stay Stuck

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:
I’ve really been working on myself for the last couple of years in terms of personal development, prosperity consciousness, business success, spiritual growth, etc., and I now find that I have no tolerance for B.S. I find it frustrating to be around people who refuse to crack a book, move forward with their lives, or do something progressive instead of just repeating the same situations over and over again. That said, I also know that everybody is on an individual path and there are reasons people stay broke, ignorant, selfish, etc. Still, it’s a tough balance for me to allow while knowing there are other options for people. What do you do about people like this? There are also a lot of people in my life who lean on me like a walking cane. I guess I appear to be more competent and balanced than they are. I’m wondering how you (with your skills) deal with such people.
D.

Dear D.:

We have a lot in common, for I’ve been struggling with these issues for a couple of decades now. After you’ve been walking a conscious spiritual path for many years, it becomes the only way you know how to be. It’s then easy to forget what it was like before you became devoted to self-improvement, which can make it hard to relate to all the folks in the world who are just trying to get through each day with as much pleasure and as least pain as possible. You can share with them all sorts of enlightening ideas, but if they’re not ready to embrace them, you’ll drive yourself crazy if you’re attached to what happens after you cast your pearls of wisdom out there.

In terms of the law of attraction, I see two separate forces at work in situations like this. First, your lack of tolerance for B.S. is common in people who are adept at the law of attraction, for you are ever raising the bar on what you desire and expect from life. I must point out, however, that freaking out about B.S. is also B.S. After all, once you achieve this level of spiritual development and know that you can create whatever you want, it makes no sense to keep creating B.S. and then getting upset about it. When B.S. rears its ugly head, it’s time to examine your own vibration and lift yourself into a higher level of experience.

By allowing yourself to get annoyed and irritated, you’re hurting yourself: your own vibration is suffering and you are setting yourself up to manifest more frustrating experiences. (Remember – what you focus upon expands!) Instead of wishing other people were more like you, you’re wise to look for something to appreciate in them and assume the best in every situation. When you’re able to stay in pure positive energy even when others are leaning on you or bumbling along, the quality of your experiences will change, and you’ll begin to attract more happy, successful people.

In order to deal with B.S. or the potential frustration of watching people repeat the same limiting, self-destructive problems over and over again, and NOT have it lower our vibration, we have to rise above ego. When we’re centered in our higher selves, there is nothing to get upset, angry or frustrated about; instead, there is calm faith that all is well and everyone is doing just what they need to be doing in order to learn whatever they need to learn at that time.

It is much easier to achieve this higher perspective when we’re dealing with people we don’t have close personal relationships with. In fact, the more important someone is to us emotionally, the more attached we will feel to them making the decisions that we think they should make in order to feel the way we think they should feel.

When you start getting upset about others’ habits and choices, it’s a sign that your ego is getting attached to a certain outcome again. As this is a test of your faith, it’s time to ask yourself if you truly believe that everyone is just where they need to be and doing what they need to be doing.

Second, the brighter your light becomes, the more people will be attracted to it, and the greater your life grows, the more people will take notice and want to emulate you. It is thus entirely natural for people who really have their acts together to attract all sorts of hangers on. It’s easy to see how this is true of successful business owners like yourself; the owner creates a thriving business, and in doing so, he creates jobs for people who don’t have the personal power and ambition to create something similar for themselves.

This too is natural: not everyone can be the business owner or there would be no employees; not everyone can be the shepherd or there would be no flock; not everyone can be the teacher or there would be no students. Everyone is doing what suits them given their present level of development.

Further, all of this is relative, and everyone has both strong and weak suits. When we are feeling irritated or critical of others, we are wise to stop focusing on their problems and realize that our own flaws are begging for attention. Just as you may look down on someone as hopelessly blind to their own issues, someone else may view you similarly. (I feel for our poor spirit guides; if they had egos like we do, I’m sure they’d have given up on us a long time ago.) Also, the people who struggle with some of the stuff that we find easy may have some beautiful traits that we have yet to develop, so we are wise to remain humble and look for the Divine in everyone we meet.

Speaking of humility, I must warn you that it is daring and foolish to tell ourselves (and the Universe) that we can handle anything because we’ve got our acts together, for this sends out a signal just begging for a greater challenge. The bigger our egos swell, the more likely we become of bumping into something sharp and ending up in an embarrassed, rubbery mess on the floor. (Trust me – I know this one really well!)

Finally, when I’m struggling with this sort of situation, the thing that helps me the most is gratitude. I am profoundly grateful for knowing what I know and being able to do what I do, so it is my pleasure to share what I’ve learned with others. I strive to live by the truth that we get what we give, and I believe that of those to whom much is given, much is expected. With the power to consciously create what we want in our lives comes a lot of responsibility.

We may end up feeling like we give out and put up with more than our fair share, but if you think about it, it’s not really true. In fact, our lives are for the most part relatively wonderful and stress-free. Since we are so richly blessed, we can afford to generously and patiently guide the kindred spirits coming up the metaphysical trail from behind us.

That said, please know that you are not required to help or save anyone. I believe that doing so will bless you in countless ways, but not if you end up feeling frustrated, drained and taken advantage of. We are wise to do what we feel called to do as long as it feels good to us, but as soon as our vibration starts to sink, it’s time to surrender the results, get recentered in faith, and focus on whatever makes our own hearts soar.

– Soul Arcanum

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Keeping Spiritual Views Private

Filed Under: Psychic Ability, Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Keeping Spiritual Views Private

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’ve been on a spiritual journey for a number of years now, and for the most part I’ve kept this to myself. Now and then, however, I get questioned about my beliefs, and for some reason, I’m really uncomfortable talking about them. For example, the other day I gave a coworker a ride home, and she noticed a spiritual book on the seat of my car and started asking me about it. Do you think I should be more open about my beliefs? It sort of feels right to keep them to myself.
Margie

Dear Margie:

I can totally relate to your question. In fact, most acquaintances know only that I’m a writer and editor: they have no idea about my spiritual work and beliefs.

For one thing, I have no desire to engage in endless intellectual debates. My ego used to get a kick out of that sort of thing, but I now feel it’s just a waste of time that I could be using for far greater purposes. Years ago I asked the Universe to do me a little favor. I requested that if someone would benefit from hearing about my spiritual views, then they would find a way to ask me about them that made me want to open up and share. I also asked that if such a conversation would prove less than uplifting or beneficial for either party, then I would be spared the hassle. Ever since, I’ve not really had a problem with this issue. I also don’t discuss politics, nor do I debate parenting styles with other parents, for these sorts of conversations tend to breed conflict instead of love and harmony.

Nevertheless, there are times when I do feel called to explain my spiritual beliefs to others. Before I go into how I do that, I would like to remind you that you are never required to reveal anything about your spiritual beliefs to anyone else. There is nothing more personal than your relationship to God or the divine, so give yourself permission to hold this area of your life close to your heart and protect it as sacred. Also, always listen to and trust your intuition. If you feel called to stay mum, then you’re wise to do so.

My next observation has become something of a cliche in New Age circles, but that’s in part because it has a lot of truth in it: its the idea that many free thinkers alive today were religiously persecuted in past lives, or witnessed other people being ostracized, tortured and murdered for their religious beliefs. This has naturally made us wary about opening up about any uncommon or unusual views we may hold. From former pagans who were burned as witches to the many people alive now who were murdered during the Holocaust, there are many in New Age circles who have been through hell for their spiritual beliefs and learned that it’s just not worth it to rock the boat.

We enjoy far more religious freedom now than we have since the dawn of civilization. For many lifetimes we’ve had to either conform or keep our views quiet, so this is a long-established habit. Keeping these things in mind can help us understand our hesitation to put our beliefs on the chopping block.

There is a bright side to this dynamic, however, as it creates some ideal spiritual challenges for us. We are all learning to think for ourselves and trust the voice whispering in our own hearts more than our priests, teachers, parents, therapists, or any other outside influences. As this is a huge step forward spiritually, it naturally entails the need to overcome some fears and other ego issues. We’re all learning to rise above worrying about what other people will think of our spiritual beliefs so we can fully honor our personal truths and put our relationship with God first.

We’re also learning the fine balance required to honor our own truths while respecting others’ at the same time. Arenas like politics and religion offer us great opportunities to practice finding a wise approach. So if you think you’re a good diplomat and you want a new challenge, you might see how things go when you try engaging others in deep conversations about their spiritual beliefs.

I also don’t see any real need to discuss these matters unless we feel called to do so. In my view, everyone is just where they’re supposed to be, and the law of attraction will deliver what everyone needs when they need it, so I feel no duty to pursue or avoid anything in particular in this domain. If someone asks me about my beliefs and it feels right and good to open up, I do so. If I feel at all anxious or uncertain, I just keep things light and general, and shift the focus back to them. (Fortunately, people love to talk about themselves, so this is never a hard thing to do.)

Besides, I already know my own theories and stories, and I am genuinely interested in others’ spiritual views and experiences, so I prefer to be the one asking the questions instead of doing all the talking. My goal above all is to remain open-minded and open-hearted, so really listening to others is essential.

In fact, when I encounter someone who is really intense about their beliefs, I always stop and ask myself how I’ve attracted this person and if I’m just as rooted in my own views as they are in theirs. I can get just as complacent as anyone else, and have to be reminded that there is much I haven’t learned yet. This sort of conversation is great for illuminating our own ego issues, whether they involve self-esteem/fear of rejection or the arrogant assumption that I’ve got things figured out better than the other person.

When talking to others about this sort of thing, I do find it really helpful to focus on my experiences more than my beliefs. I also find it wise to convey how I used to be much more mainstream (perhaps just like them) and was just as blown away by the things that happened to me as anyone else would be. This tends to diffuse any ego tension in such conversations because people will argue with general ideas but they can’t argue with what you say happened to you personally. Instead of getting defensive because they think I’m trying to convince them of something, when I just explain what happened to me, people tend to be more open.

Despite my careful approach, sometimes people do reject me for being strange or different from them. They don’t usually say that out right, but since I’m super sensitive, I know what they’re generally feeling. I’m the sort of person who wants everyone to like me, but I’ve learned that this desire is also rooted in ego, so I’ve learned to be at peace with rejection. (On the bright side, I figure being rejected saves me from continuing to try to connect with someone I wouldn’t want to spend any real time with anyway.)

If you find yourself feeling worried about what others think of you, you might view it as a red flag that you have an ego issue rearing its ugly head, and seize that opportunity to work on your relationship to yourself, which is far more important than any relationship you’ll have with another person. You’ll know that you’re free of ego issues when you can open up and share from the heart with respect for the other person’s feelings but no concern for how they may judge or perceive you.

– Soul Arcanum

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Why Irritating People are Great Spiritual Teachers

Filed Under: Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Why Irritating People are Great Spiritual Teachers

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Dear Soul Arcanum:

I understand that what irritates us about others is really about us. The part I have trouble with is figuring out how to actually take that irritation and apply it to myself. It’s like looking in a mirror with everything being backwards. Can you give me a short course on this matter?
– DeDe

Dear DeDe:

When someone does or says something that pushes a personal button for us, we tend to have a personal emotional reaction. By contrast, when someone does something abhorrent that we would never do, we may feel appalled but we won’t be personally indignant or annoyed.

For example, we may be shocked to hear about someone robbing a bank but not have a personal emotional reaction because this behavior is foreign and baffling to us. By contrast, we may feel really irritated when someone allows themselves to act in ways we wish we could act but rarely allow ourselves to.

I find it really annoying when people are lazy. No one would say that I am personally lazy; in fact, I tend to work all the time and rarely allow myself any down time. This doesn’t mean I’m not lazy, however; it means I don’t allow myself to be lazy. Whenever there is a lack of healthy balance, tension is born. I have traced my strong feelings about laziness back to my childhood, and even though I’m aware that I have some false beliefs and imbalances surrounding this subject, I haven’t resolved them yet, so I still tend to feel irritated when other people bring this issue up for me by being lazy.

By contrast, when I see someone working really hard and being rewarded for it, it underscores my own belief that it’s good to work hard. Thus I tend to like and respect hard workers because they’re like me. What I don’t consciously recognize most of the time is that lazy folks are like me too – they’re just like a part of me that I repress and deny because I don’t like it.

Another common example is the need to be right. I always think I’m right, and I find it really annoying to deal with someone who seems to think they are smarter than I am. When I step outside the ego and observe how I do the same thing, it’s pretty amusing. That sense of easy, nonjudgmental awareness is enlightening. When we can stop needing to be perfect and taking ourselves so seriously, we begin to see ourselves clearly. Then we can shift from the ego stance of I’m right and you’re wrong, to something more like Well, whaddya know!

Now let’s examine a subject I believe I have no real hang-ups about: sexuality. In my view – when it hasn’t been perverted by fear, shame, repression and denial – sex is all good. I have no problem with public displays of affection; in fact, it makes me happy to see others in love. I have no problem with homosexuality, bi-sexuality, free love or anything that doesn’t harm another person. I have no issue with anyone talking openly about sex or my own teenagers safely and respectfully exploring their sexuality. Given their intense socialization on this subject, most people have at least some repressed sexual issues, so many people are a bit shocked and disturbed by my relatively free sexuality.

That strong reaction is the thing to look for. As we become more conscious and begin to step outside the ego to truly observe ourselves, we begin to realize that our reactions to life and other people are not about them – they are entirely about us. No one else can make us feel any particular way at all: our responses are determined by who we are, what we believe, and how we interpret our experiences.

The more attached we are to seeing ourselves in a certain light, the stronger our reaction will be when others bring up parts of ourselves we don’t want to face. This doesn’t necessarily mean we act like those people; it usually means we have feelings we have fearfully repressed. Of course, sometimes we do act as they do but we don’t want to recognize it.

Further, the other person doesn’t even have to be a true reflection of ourselves – it’s what we see in them that reflects our own nature. A clear example of this is when one partner suspects the other partner of being unfaithful, when in truth, it is the suspicious partner who has been fooling around or at least thinking about it. This is where it becomes really clear that what we see in others is a reflection of our own true nature. People who assume the best of others tend to be well-intentioned themselves, while people who assume the worst are simply projecting their own shadows outward.

Once we realize we’re having a strong negative reaction to something or someone, we have to use our divine gift of reason to work our way toward some important realizations, such as:

I recognize that when I always need to look smart and right, I often just look ridiculous.

When I make up my mind that I already know the answers, I become incapable of learning anything new, and thus become LESS intelligent.

I’m attached to being right because I’m afraid of losing control of situations and the one-up position in relationships.

Being right may bring temporal satisfaction, but being loving brings lasting happiness.

This reasoning process naturally leads to greater wisdom and softens the ego so that the higher self may emerge more and more. When we become conscious of why we feel the way we do and how we’d like to feel and be instead, we become capable of positive change.

So when you have a negative reaction to someone or something, you might view it as a red flag drawing your attention to a personal issue or lesson. To resolve this, first shift from resistance to love by asking yourself what the other person is really after with their so-called negative behavior. If you can find compassion for them and give them what they want, you will move from hating them (and this part of yourself) to loving them (and this part of yourself), which will facilitate growth and healing. Further, we get what we give in life, so by giving to others what they seem to want, you will begin to attract a higher level of experience yourself.

For example:

If the other person wants to be right, can you let them be right? 

If they want to talk endlessly about themselves, can you let them talk and really listen? 

If they want more than their fair share, can you let them have it? 

If they want to criticize you, can you accept their criticism and apologize for anything you may have done or said to upset them? 

If they are rude, can you be polite in response? 

If they are angry, can you be soothing and validating? 

If they are lazy or misguided, can you allow them to learn from their own mistakes and reap whatever they sow? 

As you align with love, look within yourself. If you are annoyed because someone is lazy, ask yourself, Do I wish I gave myself more permission to be lazy too? Then examine your life for a lack of balance. If others are selfish, ask yourself if you wish you gave yourself permission to give more to yourself without feeling guilty about it. If they are angry, ask yourself if you are angry deep down and trying to deny or repress that anger.

Meditation, journaling, counseling and hypnotherapy are great tools for working through any issues that come up. When you get to the point where no one is wrong – where everyone is just doing their best to learn and grow – then you’ll know that you’re no longer caught up in ego-born denial or repression, and are on your way to greater embodiment of your own higher nature.

– Soul Arcanum

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