copyright Soul Arcanum LLC, 1999The ability to communicate with those who have passed into the nonphysical or “died” gives a person a unique perspective on life and death. Working as a medium has blessed me with the opportunity to communicate with many in the spirit world. Often through the years, as clients have thanked me heartily for bringing through a loved one, I have found myself sincerely returning their gratitude for the opportunity to “meet” the spirits who came through for them. I have learned a great deal from these communications about the nature of life and “death.”
While every “death” or afterlife experience is as unique as each life experience, there are some common themes or elements to life beyond. The following article presents some basic principles based on what I’ve learned through my own experiences with spirit communication.
Most people who are grieving need to know that we continue on. If they knew this already, they wouldn’t be grieving, or at least, they wouldn’t be in emotional pain. One thing my experiences with spirit have taught me is that we do continue on beyond this physical life. I know it because I have seen and heard and felt “strangers” in spirit who showed me their lives, gave me their names, showed me how they passed on, showed me the houses they lived in while living, and/or other “evidence” that was verified by my clients in the physical.
Everything in the universe is energy, and energy can not be destroyed. It can be contained or transformed, but it never ceases to exist in some form. The best analogy I have for the afterlife is that of our dream lives. When we dream, we generally are not aware of dreaming. Our dream worlds are as real to us as our physical realities. “Strange” things happen in dreams because it is a less “physical” or dense reality than our waking world is. It is not governed by the same laws of time and space as physical reality. This is also true of the afterlife.
Where Do We Go?
Where do we go when we dream? Are we “gone?” Do we cease to exist while sleeping? Clearly this is not the case. Our minds are simply in a different state of consciousness, and our focus is on a realm of experience we are not normally conscious of while awake. This is also true of the afterlife. We continue to exist, but our consciousness is focused on a realm of existence that we are not normally aware of when in the physical.
Where we go when we die is difficult to try to imagine or convey, for the afterlife does not exist out there somewhere, in the sky, or in some far off place. The afterlife and other planes of existence (there are many) interpenetrate this plane. Even this description is inaccurate, but our language is based on presumptions of space and time. There is no physical distance between us and those we love in spirit. There are infinite parallel realities existing holographically everywhere at once. We have only to achieve energetic harmony with a plane and focus our attention there to be aware of it.
I like to use the spectrum of colors as an analogy. Our physical eyes can perceive light in frequencies that create colors between red and violet. We know that infrared exists below the red we can see, and that ultraviolet exists above this spectrum. There is light in frequencies that you can not see all around you. There are ultraviolet rays affecting and interacting with your skin cells even now, though you can’t see them. If you were able to train your eyes to see beyond the physical color spectrum, you would be able to see ultraviolet rays as color, just as you see other colors. Those who can communicate with spirits in the afterlife have trained their mental awareness to perceive that which lies beyond the physical spectrum.
How Do We Get There?
Many people wonder what happens when we die. How do we go from here to there? Is there a period of no awareness, like when we’re in deep sleep? Of course, no one can claim to have the definite answers to these questions, but what I’ve learned suggests that death is very much like life. Just as in life, our beliefs and expectations shape our experiences of the death process, and even our experiences in the next life. As in dreams and astral projection, the results of our thoughts are much more immediate than in the physical. We think something and often experience near instantaneous results, where in the physical, it takes a pattern or habit of thought, or intense emotion backing thought, to personally or consciously create experiences.
This can be both comforting and disconcerting at the same time. Many cling to religion because it holds the promise of definitive answers, and suggests that there is an absolute set of laws or rules that we can understand and follow to go to “heaven” or achieve some other aim. This idea is comforting, though a bit limiting. Knowing that we are creating our own realities and experiences can be empowering and freeing, but also scary. It’s a bit like being a child versus being an adult. If we believe someone “out there” is calling the shots and taking care of us, we may tend to feel safer but powerless. If we accept that we are creating our own lives (and deaths!) as we go along, we may feel both exhilarated and overwhelmed by the responsibility and the vastness of the potentialities.
We do create our own experiences in life through our beliefs, expectations, and interpretations of our experiences. Similarly, we create our own experiences in death. Those who believe in life after death tend to have a much smoother transition from this life to the next. They expect to continue on, and usually have a belief system that enables them to interpret their experiences. For example, the same nonphysical benevolent entity may be interpreted by one who is “dying” as an angel, Jesus, a revered ancestor, or an alien, depending on the perceiver’s belief system. Someone who does not believe in life after death may be afraid of those who come to help, or may be so blocked by disbelief that they are unable to even perceive others in spirit. Those people who expect to continue on are generally met by a loved one in spirit or another kind entity who leads them to a light, a place or a being of infinite love and peace.
The more spiritually evolved we are while living, the faster and higher we move in the nonphysical planes beyond death. Very unloving or “un-evolved” (for lack of a better term) individuals exist at the low end of the physical energetic spectrum. These are the souls that tend to become “earthbound.” Their energy is too “heavy” to abide in higher planes. These souls will either hang around in the lower astral until their energy changes, or they’ll reincarnate, evolve, and move on after more earth experiences.
Those who don’t believe we continue on, who believe they will go to hell, or who live in great fear of death, often temporarily experience “hellish” experiences. This is where our visions of hell come from. Of course, we can also create these same kinds of experiences through fear while in the physical. It’s important to understand that all of this is temporary. Just as we can go through difficult or “terrible” times while living, so too can we create the same in the afterlife. Fear fuels such experiences. The only thing to fear is truly fear itself. Those who live in such fear will continue to attract those kinds of experiences until they work through the fear, and are in harmony with a higher vibration of experience. Just as we have social workers, ministers, healers, etc…, who work with those living in “hell” in the physical, so too are there helpers and guides in the nonphysical who try to guide lost souls toward greater light and understanding.
How Does Death Change Us?
People die very much as they lived, and continue to live after death as they did in life, with the exception that death raises us above the drama of physical life, giving us the “big picture” perspective on things. If a father is angry with his son for being gay in this life, for example, this almost never carries over into the non-physical. In death, the details no longer continue to matter. That same father would see from his new perspective that it was his own fears that had fueled his anger, and he would care much more how happy and at peace his son was than about the details of his son’s life.
It’s a bit like the feelings we have when we leave a movie theater. The details of the plot don’t really continue to affect us, but we are left with a lingering feeling. Some movies uplift us, some dishearten us. Some are so beautifully executed that we are inspired. These can be comedies, action movies, love stories. The point is, if it’s well-done, we appreciate it. The same can be said of lifetimes; if a life is well-lived, even if it was full of drama, it creates an overall feeling of power and value. Even if the life/drama was about a criminal who committed heinous crimes, we can be moved and inspired if he later takes responsibility for his actions and seeks forgiveness, especially from himself.
Communicating from Beyond
Spirit once gave me a great metaphor for understanding how death changes our perceptions. The same metaphor applies to spirit communication, whether done personally or channeled through a medium. I was shown that being in the physical is like being in a thick forest. We know we want to get to the river (the river symbolizes whatever it is we’re wanting in our lives), but we’re not sure how to get there from where we are. If we rise above the level of the trees, however, and look down, we can see where we’ve been, where we’re presently headed, and most importantly, how to get to the river. In this way, loved ones in spirit are able to see the “big picture,” and guide us in our lives on earth. They also are much less “lost” themselves than when they were here, for they’ve been released from the limitations and dramas of physical life.
Mourning
Occasionally I hear from someone who very much wants communication with a loved one in spirit, but who fears that it is a sin to seek this, or fears that by grieving or reaching out, they are holding their loved one to earth. I believe that our intentions are everything, especially when it comes to spiritual matters. If our intentions are loving, and we are able to achieve what we desire, then it must be good. Actions motivated by fear tend to reap undesired results.
It’s not wise to worry about loved ones, for then we simply send negative energy toward them, imagining unwanted things for them. It is wonderful, however, to think of them and miss them with great love and appreciation. This is similar to “praying” for them, for they truly do bask in that positive energy. It is when I’m with someone and they are thinking with love of someone in spirit that those loved ones in spirit most readily draw close or come through spontaneously.
Very often loved ones in spirit are seeking communication just as we seek it with them. This does not mean that the spirits “mourn” losing us. This is very rare. It would be like us falling asleep and dreaming, and longing for our waking reality. We may love our lives, and appreciate the people in them, but when we’re dreaming, we’re usually fully focused in the present (the dream). If someone calls us to wake up while we’re dreaming, we may even long to remain in the dream, but we will awaken to speak to those who love us and who are seeking contact. Similarly, loved ones in spirit do hear us. They might not “rouse” themselves at our every emotional whisper, but when we get “loud” or intense with our feelings, they will “wake up” or focus their attention from their afterlife experiences to our plane of existence.
Hearing Spirit
Just because they do pay attention, however, doesn’t mean we can always perceive them. Many people will cry out in mourning for a loved one, and be despondent that the person is “gone,” when their loved one is there the whole time with them. Because they are in sorrow or fear, they are not in harmony with their loved one, so the loved one can not connect with them.
Often when this goes on for a while, the spirit will week a medium out. Yes, you read that right. Often spirits will lead their loved ones to a medium, so that the medium can relay messages. Spirit once showed me that being in the non-physical is a bit like being on the “seeing” side of a two-way mirror. They can “see” us, but most of us only see a reflection or mirror when we look back. Spirits might be energetically “waving” and “shouting,” but most of us do not perceive their presence at all. Imagine then, if such spirits saw one of us (a medium or sensitive) turn toward them and begin to respond. Spirits get very excited when we can hear them!
Spirits will do all kinds of things to try to get our attention, especially when we’re asking with our hearts for contact or communication. As everything is energy, and spirits are energy unbound by physical laws, often electrical appliances or means are used. I’ve heard all kinds of stories over the years about lights flickering or coming on by themselves, spirits speaking through or appearing on televisions, and appliances turning themselves on and off. This is far more common than most people might think.
Spirit also speaks to us through our own hearts and intuition. Often when we have a crazy impulse to do something, there is a spirit behind the impulse. If we’re paying attention, spirit will sometimes even speak to us through another person who is not aware that this is happening. This often happens in small ways, like when we’re seeking direction on practical matters. We may be looking for to sublet an apartment for the summer, for example, and overhear a woman in line at the grocery store say, “I hope to be able to sublet my place for the summer.” It may be more subtle than this. We may be seeking general answers in our lives and find those answers in the casual or offhand remarks of others. These kinds of “coincidences” happen all the time, and are often the result of Spirit help.
People often asks about their pets in spirit. While wild animals tend to remain on the “fringes” of where I go when I seek spirits, domesticated animals often come through for those who loved them, and those they love. The energetic connections of love are similar to those between humans.
Suicide
I saw the movie “What Dreams May Come” when it came out, and it disturbed me. What bothered me most was that there was so much truth in the movie about what life on the other side is like, but the portrayal of suicide was, so far as I know, distressing and inaccurate. The fact that the rest of the movie was so true left me concerned that its take on suicide would be swept up and accepted with the rest of it. Such a movie has a powerful influence on mass beliefs. (And remember, our beliefs and expectations shape our experiences here and beyond!)
The movie suggested that if we commit suicide, we are damned to hell, and will never be reunited with our loved ones again. I can only imagine how disturbing such a belief might be to someone who loved someone who had committed suicide. One has to be very “lost” to commit suicide in the first place. As we live in life, so we live in death. Suicides tend to remain very “lost” on the other side for a while, but nothing in the Universe is static or permanent.
We are ever changing in life, and ever changing in death. Some suicides can even immediately see things more clearly on the other side, and experience a sense of relief. This is especially true if the person believed in an afterlife, and also believed that they would not be “punished” for taking their own life. This is not generally the case, but again, it’s all a matter of beliefs and expectations. No one who commits suicide is “condemned by God.” They have already condemned themselves. There is love and compassion in Spirit (as in life) for those who take their own lives, we have only to ACCEPT it. Someone who takes his or her own life is generally filled with self-loathing. Such a person cannot allow themselves love, forgiveness and compassion when living, and it is not likely they will allow this after death, at least, not at first.
It is never advisable, of course, to take one’s own life. It is impossible, however, to truly “kill” or destroy oneself. We can try to run from our problems and lessons, but doing so tends to just give them room to grow bigger.
In summary
Of course, I can’t profess to know personally what death is like, I can only relay what those who live in the next life have shown me. Even then, it is like I stand at the doorway between this life and the next; I can only see that which lies just beyond that doorway. Perhaps there are those who know what spirit life is like when spirits are not communicating with us on earth. I can’t see that far now and don’t expect to be able to, at least, not until I am born into the next life myself.
