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Dear Soul Arcanum:
For the past three years, I have felt a strong feeling of attraction to a spiritual healer. We have a strong telepathic connection. The love is unconditional love, not romantic, and we often encounter each other in the astral. Why do I constantly have him in my thoughts? I also feel a strong desire just to be physically near where he is to pick on his energy; it makes me feel content. We both avoid saying anything when we see each other but my higher self often nudges me to ask for a hug, which is out character for me. I get my hug and we both walk away as if nothing happened. I’m past looking for a partner as I am 61 and he is considerably younger. Can you explain this strong sense of physical attraction? Many thanks!
Valdie
Dear Valdie:
The attraction you describe is much like the phenomenon known in psychology as transference; it is very common for people to feel attracted to people who have the power and willingness to help them when they desperately need it, and the compassion to love and accept them for who they really are.
To me it is clear that you are not so much attracted to this man as you are attracted to his energy. As a healer, he no doubt shines with divine light and embodies a very high vibration. You don’t have to be psychic to pick up on this; on some level, we are all aware of others’ energy and are naturally drawn toward people with “good vibes.” Since we are all constantly evolving toward a higher vibration, it’s a bit like you are a flower and he is the sun; you naturally turn toward the the light that nourishes you and makes you grow.
As a spiritual healer, he is also a signpost for you of where you are heading on your own journey. He represents profound well-being and the ability to heal oneself, both of which you are in the process of developing. It is perfectly natural to feel attracted to people who display qualities we are in the process of developing ourselves. This is how we find our way in life and develop our own set of personal values: we feel drawn toward that which represents where we are meant to go and repelled by that which represents what we have moved away from.
This is one reason why we find people who are crude, rude and selfish highly unattractive. No doubt we have all behaved thus in the past, if not in this life, then in past lives. We learned not to be this way by experiencing painful lessons about how what we do to others comes back to us. When we see someone doing something we learned NOT to do, it’s normal to feel repelled. Similarly, we all have an inner compass guiding us to grow more personally powerful, wise, strong, beautiful and loving. When we encounter people who are “more” than we are in these ways – who are a little further down the same spiritual path we are walking – we naturally feel drawn towards them.
This attraction is exponentially magnified in someone like the healer you describe, for he not only embodies who you want to be, he embodies the divine love and light of Spirit. I have had a number of people I helped in my capacity as a spiritual healer/minister think they were in love with me over the years, and have had to explain that they weren’t really in love with me the person, they were in love with the energy of the divine that I helped them reconnect with.
Healers are able to heal because they are exceptionally adept at channeling a very high level of divine life force energy. They are the opposite of psychic vampires, for they know there is endless life force energy available to them, they know how to tap into that energy, and they are clear, open channels for it. Experienced, gifted healers never worry about being drained by needy people, for they know that they have only to stay connected to Source to enjoy an endless supply of energy. This is why you never catch your healer friend asking YOU for a hug, and why he has no qualms about giving you what you ask for: he is getting all the hug energy he needs directly from Source. You sometimes need a boost because you aren’t as clear a channel for the life force energy you need. When you do this, it’s a bit like your laptop is dying and you need to plug into someone else’s outlet to get a charge.
We all get energetically replenished as we sleep at night; in fact, this is WHY we sleep – it’s like our physical bodies are laptops that perform all sorts of tasks all day; the more we do, the more charge we use up. Sleeping, resting, and meditating are ways we plug into source to recharge our batteries.
The main thing to keep in mind is that this man represents something bigger and greater to you than the relationship itself, and THAT is what you feel drawn toward. You are being called to embody more of the energy he embodies and to become better able to channel your own divine energy instead of plugging in to other people.
Of course, you two also have a personal relationship, which is why you think about him and meet up with him in the astral. It sounds to me like he is an important spiritual teacher in your life, so it makes sense that you may seek him out or he may find you when you’re out of your body to continue your work together on other planes. I’m sure there is a karmic connection between you; it may even be that in a past life, he was not embodied but was a spirit guide for you, and you are blessed to have him with you in a physical way this lifetime.
The important thing to keep in mind is that this is not a relationship of spiritual equals: He is the healer and you are the one who is healed. He has the energy and you are the one who plugs into it. As such, this is not so much a friendship as it is a teacher/student relationship. If you view this as a friendship, you may feel uneasy about how he seems to be emotionally more important to you than you are to him.
Students are naturally drawn toward the teachers with the knowledge they need to learn just like patients naturally go to the doctors and healers who can help them. This is why you feel so attracted to him while he probably has a much more relaxed, easy energy about your relationship; he’s happy to share what you need with you, but you don’t have anything he needs in return. Because of this dynamic, it would be wise for you to focus on WHAT you are drawn to in him as opposed to focusing on how you feel about him as a person.
Please note that none of the above is meant to diminish the beauty of your bond with this special person; the connection between spiritual teacher and student is an ancient, sacred relationship. This man is blessing you with healing and illuminating the spiritual path before you, so it makes perfect sense that you would feel strongly drawn toward him even more than you might to someone who was meant to be a lover or a friend.