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Dear Soul Arcanum:

Since I was 16, I have felt the presence of dead relatives around me. Mainly I feel my grandmother who died when I was four, though I also sense a step-uncle and my grandfather now and then. I don’t see them or hear their voices, I just feel their energy as a sudden awareness. This tends to happen when I’m stressed, when I’m driving, or when I’m at family functions. During these moments, I sometimes feel a light touch on my skin, my body will tingle, and I’ll feel warmth and love coming from them. They also communicate with me through music. A certain song on the radio will trigger thoughts of them, or I will unknowingly mention them in normal conversation on a special birthday or the anniversary of their death. They do sometimes come to me in dreams, but I can only recall bits and pieces of the dream content.

Is this really happening, or is it just my imagination? If I am indeed sensing the presence of departed family members, why do I only sense some and not others? Also, why do they come to me instead of other family members?
– L.

Dear L.:

Thanks for this opportunity to explore some of the finer points of spirit communication. The ways you describe sensing the presence of loved ones in Spirit are all valid, common ways that spirits reach out to us. I have no doubt that this is NOT your imagination, especially since it seems to happen when you least expect it.

These spirits come to you when you’re stressed because they want to comfort you in a time of need. You sense them when you’re driving because you’re in an altered state of consciousness. Many people have enhanced psychic awareness when they’re driving because they’re able to let their minds wander and they don’t have anything else to focus on or do.

Being in this state and having the radio on also tends to encourage messages through songs. You’re closer to spirits in vibration because you’re in a trance, so you’re more likely to recognize the sign and perceive the energies and messages they’re trying to send you.

Finally, spirits come to you when you’re at family functions because they’re there anyway. When our families get together, our loved ones in Spirit often gather around. Of course, it could also be that they are coming to you at those times because they are hoping you will deliver a message to another member of the family.

The tingling feelings you feel are these spirits touching your aura. Even the touches on your skin are most likely touches on your astral or etheric body, for it takes a great deal of energy for non-physical beings to affect the physical. Anyone who is highly psychically sensitive like you are can perceive auric interactions like this, and many mistake them for physical sensations.

For example, if you sense someone is looking at you, it’s because you sensed their energy connecting with your aura. If you have an immediate sense of attraction or dislike for someone, it’s because you’re consciously aware of how your aura is interacting with their energy. Everyone experiences this sort of thing – most people just don’t do it consciously.

Your mentioning loved ones in conversation brings up an interesting point. Spirit communication is subtle by nature, and we must remember that our thoughts come from somewhere. If a loved one suddenly pops into your mind for no apparent reason, odds are good that there is either some trigger you’ve overlooked in your environment or your loved one is near.

For example, I often have the experience of suddenly realizing that some particular image or memory is playing through my mind. When my grandmother is near, I may suddenly realize that I’ve had a picture of her house sitting to one side of the rest of my normal thoughts. When I finally notice it, I know to stop and open up my full awareness to her.

As for why some spirits reach out to you while others don’t, this is also a very common experience. For example, my first love died at the age of 18, and while I did have contact with him a number of times, when I was receiving messages from others or dreaming of spirits, I was often surprised and disappointed by how other spirits came through instead of him.

In fact, some of my earliest messages from Spirit came from a girl I had gone to high school with who died in a car accident after we graduated. We had run in the same social circle but never been really close. I had done her a favor that she greatly appreciated, however, and apparently, she was still grateful to me when she reached the other side, for she came through a couple of times with words of comfort and guidance.

Similarly, I barely knew my Uncle Rusty, for he lived across the country from me, yet when I was developing my mediumship abilities, he popped in regularly. Unexpectedly, he proved to be an amazing spirit guide for me for a number of years after he crossed over.

Through this and other experiences, I learned that when we want too badly to connect with a certain spirit, we can block our awareness of that particular loved one. If when we think of someone, we feel sad or desperate to hear from them, negative emotions will lower our vibration and prevent us from consciously connecting with them. So ironically, it’s easier to connect with someone we liked than with someone we deeply loved.

Also, our relationships while living often don’t reflect our true spiritual bond. We may not be very close to someone in this life, but it’s possible we were very close to them in other lifetimes and have a very deep spiritual bond with them. For this reason, some spirits come through with a surprising degree of love and devotion for us after they cross over.

Also, I was very close to both of my grandparents, but it has always been much easier to connect with my grandmother than my grandfather. My grandfather also comes through very differently from my grandmother. I now understand that this is not so much about our relationships as it is about these particular individuals.

Basically, they come through in ways that are like them. My grandfather was very into nature and spent every moment he could working in the garden or the yard. He was also a gifted gynecologist who adored babies and children. It shouldn’t surprise me that the times I have connected with him, I have either been absorbed in nature or someone in the family has been pregnant with one of his great-grandchildren. Similarly, my grandmother was very spiritual and peaceful, and when I’m feeling that way myself, she comes right through.

As for why they are coming to you more than other members of the family, it’s either because they are strongly connected to you or because you’re the one who can perceive them. Certainly, if you can perceive spirits and those around you can’t, you will often find yourself in the position of community channel.

You’re clearly highly clairsentient – that’s why you sense the presence of spirits the way you do. If you develop some of your other psychic abilities, like clairaudience, then whenever you sense a spirit, you can mentally dialogue with them. This will empower you to receive wonderful messages of wisdom and comfort not only for yourself, but also for friends and family who aren’t blessed with your psychic gifts.

– Soul Arcanum