Tag Archive: sex


How Our Sexual Partners Affect our Spiritual Vibration

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How Our Sexual Partners Affect our Spiritual Vibration

By Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

For about a year now, I’ve been doing some powerful meditations to raise my vibration so I can better heal myself and others. I’ve been told that having sex with someone I don’t love would cause my vibration to drop to that person’s level. This worries me because while I do not believe in engaging in casual sex, I’ve often felt very strong emotions toward someone I’m dating. These emotions may or may not evolve into love, but when I begin to feel this way and crave an emotional exchange with that person in the form of sexual intercourse, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to mess up my vibration, but if I have strong feelings for someone and I know they care about me as well, I have trouble abstaining from sex with them until I know for sure, which may not happen until the relationship is over anyway. I would be very grateful for any thoughts you have on this.
– Angela

Dear Angela:

Let’s explore the notion that having sex with someone you’re not positive you love may deter spiritual development. Certainly we find the notion that sex and spirit are somehow at odds in many religious traditions, and casual sex is frowned upon in most cultures. The practical problems that can arise from being too casual in our approach to sex are obvious, but these social mores are also rooted in some metaphysical truths.

It’s important to remember that every interaction between people involves an exchange of energy, and sex involves the fullest exchange possible. In fact, we might consider S.E.X. an acronym for “soul energy x-change.”

When we go to buy a car, interview for a job, or even meet someone new in a social setting, we will tend to be somewhat guarded. In various social interactions, we only let so much of our true selves “out,” and we only let so much of that other person’s energy in.

When we have sex with someone, however, we “open up” to them. You might say we get naked with them on every level. This means the auric walls that normally help us maintain our separate sense of self come down, which leads to an exchange of energies. Because of this, the people we have sex with can have a much greater impact on us than other people. When we “invite” a lover to mingle his or her energy with ours, all sorts of things can happen.

At the positive end of the spectrum, we can actually heal others (or be healed by them) via sexual interaction. In your case, if you had sex with someone who had a lower vibration than yours, with the right approach you may raise that person to YOUR vibrational level.

Sex can be a very spiritual endeavor. It can stretch our capacity to be giving, sensitive and compassionate with our partner; it can challenge us to rise above ego and self-consciousness to be fully present in the moment; it can take us to the edge of our boundaries, trust issues and hang-ups, where we become nothing more than who we were when we came into this world – one being reaching for bliss with another.

For many people, the ecstasy of orgasm is the closest they get to divine bliss, and as such, it can open them up to a whole new dimension of experience. To me, orgasm is the clearest experience we have of the ultimately energetic nature of life. Sex can initiate the release of kundalini and encourage spiritual development. Sexual energy is powerful, and our deep desire for love leads us to many of our most important life lessons.

When it comes to matters of love and sex, I strongly believe that there are no hard and fast rules: we have to trust our intuition to lead us. For example, most of us are naturally attracted to people who are on our vibrational “wavelength.” It is unlikely we would date someone of a vastly different vibration for long, and thus unlikely we’d have sex with them in the first place.

We have a built in barometer that deters us from opening up to people whose vibration is so far from ours that it could be harmful to us. Having sex with someone this different tends to feel awkward or wrong. Some people, however, actually get a dangerous little thrill out of acting AGAINST their intuition and being “bad,” especially when it comes to sex. Women who always go for “bad boys” are a good example, and they usually suffer some nasty consequences as a result. Of course, drunken one-night stands tend to yield some interesting pairings as well!

When we do have sex with someone who is not a good match for us, we expose ourselves to all of their issues and energies. This may lead us to get caught up in all sorts of dramas. Then negative emotion lowers our vibration, and all the drama distracts us from our higher/spiritual goals.

One of the greatest hazards of casual sex is the potential for attachment by astral entities. While this can happen outside of sexual contact, when we completely open ourselves up during sex, it is easy for an entity attached to our lover to shift to us.

Also, I have heard from many women over the years who were making love to their husband or boyfriend when “someone else” moved in. Sometimes that other being was perceived to be “inside” their lover, and the women felt their lover “become someone else.” Sometimes they actually saw the other entity above or next to their lover, trying to “take over” the lovemaking session.

The lower astral is full of opportunistic entities that are earthbound due to some addiction. The spirits of sex addicts are drawn to lust, and try to live vicariously through people engaged in sex. If, however, you and your partner are making love at a high vibration, lower astral entities with neither be attracted to you nor able to affect you.

The more love you flow during sex, the more it will nourish your heart and spirit. If your partner is not spiritually “awake” and you are, he could weigh you down spiritually, but this would extend beyond the bedroom anyway. This doesn’t mean our partners must share our paths or even our passion for spiritual growth; there are lots of ways to be “spiritual.”

So how do we decide when to “do it” in a relationship? While we should trust our intuition, we might also remember that when we have sex with someone, we are essentially telling them that we trust them with our lives, our health, our hearts and our dreams for love. For some people, that sort of trust comes easy, and for others, it comes hard.

I also think that to learn anything in life, we have to be willing to explore and experiment, so if we feel strongly drawn to do something and there is no obvious reason it would be foolish, we should do it. This is how we’re guided to learn the things we need to learn and heal the issues we most need to heal.

Finally, I think you may be too caught up in defining what it means to “really love” someone. Even if you don’t know if you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner, you can still interact with them WITH love. If you look for the divine in the one you’re with, you will embody love. When you do anything from this high vibration, wonderful experiences are sure to follow.

– Soul Arcanum

Tags: , , ,
Permalink

Disconnecting from One Night Stand’s Energy

Filed Under: Energy/Vibration, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Disconnecting from One Night Stand’s Energy

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum: For a while now, my husband and I have fantasized about having a threesome. Recently that wish came true, though it didn’t go so well. We met a lady from another town and we clicked immediately. I was excited to have a close girlfriend, so right away she came and stayed with us so we could all go on a boating trip together. I promise you that the threesome was entirely her idea. In fact, she was quite aggressive: She went topless on the boat all day and climbed into our bed naked that night. I wasn’t comfortable with this, but my husband was insistent so I went ahead with it. I felt exhausted and horrible afterward. How can I clear this energy and disconnect from her? We made plans to go shopping, but she isn’t returning my phone calls. I feel so disappointed. I don’t want her as a lover, just as a friend, but she has totally dropped us. (I have always wanted to have a really close girlfriend.) Is it possible to clear this energetic connection, or will I forever be tied to her and her lovers? I’m sorry if asking about this makes you uncomfortable; I don’t know who else to turn to.
M.

Dear M.:

The desires that got you into this situation are perfectly normal. Most people want to keep the passion burning in marriage and will try all sorts of different ways to do that. Further, we all have feelings and desires that don’t fit into the neat boxes we’ve been socialized to squeeze into, so we’re constantly longing for something new, more or different.

While your yearning for a close girlfriend is natural, it also could have deep roots beyond the simple desire for a true companion. Perhaps you had a very close friend in a past life and haven’t enjoyed a relationship like that in this one, or you had a romantic relationship with a woman in a past life and part of you vaguely remembers and longs for the pleasure you felt then. (You may have been male or female in that relationship, though odds are you would have been male.)

As I read your question, I saw you in a past life in a very deep, close friendship with another woman. You were both Asian females. You lived in the same house and you were closer to her than you’ve ever been to anyone else. I don’t usually offer this sort of personal information in this forum, but I feel it will help you understand your profound yearning for a close friend.

While you’re wise to remain conscious of things like psychic cords, cutting any cords that were created in this situation is just the first step: to feel better, you’ll need to determine what you really want and go after it in a more effective way. First, however, let’s explore the nature of psychic cords for those who are unfamiliar.

We forge psychic cords to everyone we are close to or interact with on a deep or frequent basis. We thus have psychic cords to our spouses, children, parents and friends, and we have lesser cords to people we interact with on a more casual or infrequent basis. As profound experiences lead to strong cords, and the exchange of bodily fluids also creates potent connections, lovers and mothers/babies tend to have very strong psychic connections.

Psychic cords aren’t bad; in fact, they are the energetic foundation of relationships. In healthy romantic/sexual relationships, the energy flows both ways and is basically balanced. One key aspect of creating a healthy relationship between two adults is clear understanding of what the relationship will entail – a mutual agreement that has both spoken and unspoken rules. Making a commitment is also powerful, so when we get married, we forge a strong psychic bond that endures both because of our commitment and because the rules of the relationship have been so clearly spelled out.

When we jump into bed or into relationships with people we don’t know well, it’s easy to end up in unstable, unhealthy situations. The thing about casual sex is that people are casual about it: There is no commitment and there are no clear agreements made, so these connections tend to be very short-lived.

When we engage in casual sex, we interact in an intense, tangible way, which creates strong psychic cords, but then the whole thing very quickly falls apart. This leaves everyone with their cords hanging, so to speak. Even when there is no overt interaction anymore, if we don’t create closure at the end of a relationship, it’s like leaving a light on when we depart a building: some of our energy is still flowing but we’re not getting any good return for it. In order to have all our energy for other relationships and endeavors, we have to turn off undesired relationships by withdrawing our energy from them.

This will happen on its own in time, which is sort of like that light bulb eventually burning out. However, until you learn whatever you need to learn in order to create the healthy relationships you desire, you’ll tend to keep creating unhealthy cords with new people.

It’s important to get conscious about what you really want so you can find the fulfillment your heart is yearning for. It sounds like you actually had two goals here: to spice up your marriage and to make a deep, true girlfriend. As your approach didn’t work out as you expected, I think you’d be wise to separate these goals. To spice up your marriage, you need to find something that feels good to you on every level. To create a true and lasting bond with a girlfriend, you’d be wise to avoid having casual sex with prospective pals.

Since this woman isn’t returning your interest, you can assume she wasn’t right for you. Now that you know that, you can move on and focus on finding someone who shares your desire for true friendship.

To get closure and directly move on to pursue what you really want, you might perform a ritual to cut cords with this woman. Set aside special time for this purpose, then get quiet, close your eyes, and visualize the cord between you like a string linking you together.

If it feels right, mentally explain to her why you are cutting the cord, or explain to the Universe what you are doing and why. Focus on the positive: on what you want and the good that you expect to come from this. The point is to communicate to yourself and the Universe that you are taking conscious control of creating what you want in your life now.

You may hear something from her or the Universe. These may be impressions, insights, ideas or solutions, so pay attention and allow whatever comes to you to lead you to new awareness and healing. When the time feels right, cut the cord by visualizing yourself with scissors or a knife cutting away whatever connects you. As you do so, say out loud: I cut this cord so that we may both be free to find greater love and happiness. The more you can embody the feeling of love and happiness you desire for yourself and everyone involved, the more powerful the ritual will be.

After you cut the cord, smudge yourself, your husband, your home, your boat and your bed with sage. (Wash all the bedding if you haven’t yet!) Also, get rid of anything this woman gave you and remove all traces of her from your world.

You’ve now created space for new blessings, so read up on the law of attraction and ask the Universe to guide you to the passion and true friendship you desire. Start focusing wholeheartedly on manifesting what you want, and before you know it, you’ll have chalked all of this up to a good learning experience and be absorbed in something new.

– Soul Arcanum

Tags: , , ,
Permalink

Are Sexual Fantasies a Form of Psychic Harassment?

Filed Under: Intuitive Development, Psychic Protection, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Are Sexual Fantasies a Form of Psychic Harassment?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

In the past I engaged in astral sex: by focusing my energy on someone, I would have intense sexual experiences. This was amplified by the use of drugs, and now that I’ve quit using, I find I can still make these connections but in a far less powerful way. Now I want to discontinue doing this because it doesn’t feel right anymore. When I try to draw the line, however, I am discovering that just having an ordinary sexual fantasy about someone connects me to them in an energetic way. I’m starting to think it’s impossible to avoid having energetic experiences with other people. What do you think? I’ve also discovered I need to work on my relationship to the divine as it expresses itself in a feminine way. During the time when I was discovering sexual energy projection, I journeyed into disrespectful and degrading attitudes. I am working on changing that, and am seeking others’ forgiveness for my past behaviors.
– L.

Dear L.:

If the past behaviors you’re seeking forgiveness for are non-physical in nature (such as fantasies about other people), then you need do nothing but choose to think in new ways and forgive yourself. If it makes you feel better, you can mentally apologize to the people you feel you’ve wronged and ask them to forgive you. (To speak to them directly would probably really freak them out, which would do more harm than good.)

Regarding your current dilemma, you are absolutely right: it is impossible to avoid interacting energetically with others, for we are in constant energetic interaction with everyone around us. Every time we think of someone, we send them energy. In fact, even if you were to have a fantasy about some imaginary person, you would be interacting with a being in some dimension.

You can, however, resolve your worries telepathically. In becoming aware of auric exchanges, you are moving into some deep psychic territory, and you will have to develop some new psychic skills anyway. If you find yourself fantasizing about someone, and you’re not sure if this is okay, you can simply (mentally!) ask them for permission to continue. Think about it: if you can affect them with your sexual “fantasies,” surely you can also affect them with a soulful “fantasy” conversation.

Now let’s explore sex and spirituality and what a complicated subject this has become for us all. I believe we can tell a great deal about our relationship to life (and “God”) from our attitude toward sex. People who have yet to develop conscious spiritual awareness tend to be rather animalistic in their approach to sex. As we evolve spiritually, we seek physical release less and emotional union more. At first, we seek this union in another person; in time, however, we realize that what we really long for is union with the Divine.

There is a reason why highly spiritual people often turn to practices like celibacy and tantra. At first glance, these may seem totally unrelated, but such choices reflect awareness that sexual energy is powerful and can be harnessed toward spiritual aims.

Unfortunately, our evolutionary journey in relationship to sex is not simply a matter of how we express our desires. Because sex is so important and so powerful, mankind has developed all sorts of ways to try to control it, from harsh laws and religious edicts to the insidious psychological weapon of shame and social rejection. Depending on how we’ve been socialized, we all have various degrees of awakening and healing to accomplish regarding sexual energy. Most of us have been taught to believe that sex is dirty, sexual desire is wrong, and even our bodies are somehow shameful. Repression eventually becomes obsession, whether we’re obsessed with having sex or with NOT having it.

In backlash to all that control, many people now choose to believe that sex can be purely recreational – that we don’t have to exert any self-control so long as we practice good hygiene. Of course, this careless approach breeds all sorts of emotional, spiritual, social and economic issues.

As with anything else that brings us great pleasure, sex is also easy to get addicted to or obsessed with. This is when it begins to rule us and we surrender our freedom to choose wisely. If we can’t control our sexual thoughts and feelings in addition to our sexual acts, we can become addicted, and may become earthbound by our desires when we depart this world. This is why great spiritual teachers have warned us against lust: it’s not because sex is inherently evil, but because it is so enticing that it’s easy to lose our heads about it.

Like all energy, sexual energy can be directed and redirected, stored and released, but it can’t be destroyed. When it is repressed, it will seek some sort of outlet. The greater the tension between sexual energy and the forces trying to repress it, the more twisted it may become as it seeks an outlet for expression.

What you call “degrading” in your question others might call perverted, which simply means distorted or unnatural. Thus sex that is perverse or degrading involves the distortion of whatever would be natural for us if we didn’t have so many artificial ideas about it. This sort of perversion is now pervasive and self-perpetuating: it has become yet another thing we inherit from our cultures if we’re not conscious enough to choose something higher for ourselves.

Of course, conscious awareness is the key to making wise choices on any path. This involves knowing why we want what we want, why we do what we do, and how what we choose may affect other people. Without such awareness, we can’t purposefully cultivate the quality of experience we most value.

To have a healthy relationship to sexual energy, we must recognize it as a normal, natural, beautiful expression of life and love. We must also remain in control of our own thoughts and impulses, and carry the basic intention of loving ourselves and others.

You are at a natural turning point in your own evolution: you’re waking up to all the cultural issues you’ve absorbed about sex, and are in the process of making some new conscious choices for yourself. This is very positive, for it is only in aligning with the loving heart of sexual desire that we are freed from compulsion and empowered to manifest true fulfillment.

The simplest advice I can give you is just to LOVE: Cultivate loving thoughts, send loving energies, and choose whatever is most loving when you’re not sure what to do, and you can’t go wrong. If you are just sending love and appreciation to others and you end up in blissful sexual fantasies about them, then you are making love to the Universe, my friend – and there is nothing wrong with that!

– Soul Arcanum

Tags: , , , ,
Permalink