Tag Archive: promiscuity


How Can She Pick Herself Up and Turn Her Whole Life Around?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How Can She Pick Herself Up and Turn Her Whole Life Around?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am 23-year-old woman who is currently pregnant. I don’t have a steady boyfriend at present; the man who fathered my baby is good for nothing. I do have a sweet little girl whom I love very much. Her father is taking care of her even though she is staying with my mother. I’m living a very low life. I have too many friends I cannot trust, and I love drinking alcohol. Part of me wants to change to become a better person, but the other part still wants to live this loose life. I don’t know how I am going to change. Every time I enter a new relationship, job, make new friends, etc., everything seems to go awry. I feel like I’m doomed. I was involved in a car crash in January of 1997, and my boyfriend at that time did not even come to the hospital. He didn’t care if I was alive or dead! Every man seems to just not care after they get what they want, which is to take me to bed. I have done many things I am not proud of. Is it normal that at the tender age of 23, I have slept with more than 250 men? Soul Arcanum, I really need your help. Can you give me advice on how to turn my life around?
T.

Dear T.:

While I’m going to focus this column on helping YOU, I have to say a word here about your innocent little girl and unborn child. Unless you want your children to grow up and be just like you and suffer the same way you’re suffering, you need to get a grip on yourself NOW. The part of you that wants something better than this is going to have to SLAY that part of you that wants to continue living a “loose life,” as you put it. You would protect your daughter with your very life, so lay down the life of that foolish, misguided teenager inside you, and step with all of your being toward the strong, wise mother you know you can be.

Now that I’ve said that, I can offer you my compassion. It’s clear to me that you’re carrying a lot of baggage from your childhood and even before that (from past lives). I’m shown that you have been an alcoholic in several past lives, and a prostitute in at least one lifetime. In that life, you did it to survive, but in this life, you have so many more choices. So while it may not seem “normal” to be so promiscuous, for you it hasn’t necessarily been strange. Unless you want to keep this up for all eternity, however, you’re going to have to consciously choose to change. Acknowledge that you have done the best you could, forgive yourself for those things you’re not proud of, then move on! Forget about the past and focus everything you have on who you want to be and how you want to live.

The main thing you must learn is how to say NO to things that will destroy your well-being and happiness. You have thus far said yes to everything and everyone that comes your way. Someone offers you alcohol/drugs? Yes! Someone asks you to go to bed with them? Yes!

The reason you say yes is because you’re desperate for love. You keep trying to be what you think others want you to be in order to fill that empty, achy, lonely feeling in your heart, but you’re waking up to the truth that what you’ve been getting by taking this approach is not love at all, and only leaves you feeling worse in the end. Disrespecting yourself as you have will only lead others to use you, for if you don’t respect yourself, why should they? There are all sorts of users and abusers in the world, and you have become a magnet for them. You thus far have just not loved yourself enough to protect yourself and to demand more and better from life and people.

As you do love your daughter that much, she is actually going to help you change your life. Through mothering your daughter, you have come to know the sort of love you need to feel for yourself. Now you can go back and parent yourself into feeling like you deserve more than what you’ve been putting up with. I want you to start treating yourself the way you’d want your daughter to be treated by herself and by others. If some stranger wanted to use her and take her to bed, what would you want her to do? If you saw her throwing away her mind, body and spirit on alcohol, junkie friends and unsafe sex, what would you want her to do? (That is what you should do!)

Find a minister or an energy healer and get some help with reconnecting with the Divine,  reclaiming your personal power, and detoxing on every level. (A church is probably best, as it would be a good source of free or inexpensive help.) I also want you to start attending church so that you can meet a higher quality of people. Start befriending older WOMEN there; reach out for help from women who are solid and strong and won’t let you make excuses when that weaker side of you wants to go on ruining your life. I’m sure there are also social service agencies where you can get connected with other women who are sincerely trying to improve their lives as well. You need true friends now. You need to ask for help and start helping others too. There are lots of young single mothers out there – reach out and work together!

I know your heart is aching for someone to truly care for you, and that this is driving much of your self-destructive behavior. What you need to get from this column is that your relationships with others will mirror your relationship to yourself. If you are self-destructive in your thinking and habits, others will be abusive toward you. If you respect yourself and take great care of yourself, others will respect you and want to take care of you similarly. Respecting yourself here means taking good care of your body (not abusing drugs or alcohol and not giving yourself sexually to any guy who smiles at you). It means getting rid of the people in your life who are behaving in ways you neither admire nor want to emulate. It means cleaning up your act and putting your heart and soul into becoming the kind of woman and mother you most want to be. The harder you work at it, the more you will respect yourself, and the better your life will get.

You can initiate this personal transformation by detoxing on a physical level immediately. I know you’re pregnant, so I don’t want you to do anything drastic like fasting or taking unusual supplements, etc. Just cut out all the garbage: no alcohol, no drugs, no junk food. Eat fruit and vegetables. Look to natural foods for nourishment. Given what you’re putting into your body, it’s no wonder you’re miserable. (If you need help with addiction, GET IT! There is so much free help available out there.)

Then you’ll feel strong enough to detox on an emotional and mental level by getting rid of those users and abusers and doing whatever else you need to do to move forward with your life. You should also take some time to thank the dickens out of your mom and anyone else who has really been there for you. She can and will help you if you are sincere in your efforts to change your life. She has been waiting for you to wake up. You have broken her heart time and time again; it’s time for you to actively begin to try to undo all that hurt you’ve caused. She’s on your side!

You have a loving mother, a sweet child, and a new baby on the way. You have so much to turn your life around for. Think of your children and set a good example, for they are learning how to be in the world by watching you.

In a nutshell: demand more of yourself and the people you let into your world, and you will turn your life around. The time is NOW my friend; I’m sending prayers for strength your way.

– Soul Arcanum

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How Our Sexual Partners Affect our Spiritual Vibration

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How Our Sexual Partners Affect our Spiritual Vibration

By Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

For about a year now, I’ve been doing some powerful meditations to raise my vibration so I can better heal myself and others. I’ve been told that having sex with someone I don’t love would cause my vibration to drop to that person’s level. This worries me because while I do not believe in engaging in casual sex, I’ve often felt very strong emotions toward someone I’m dating. These emotions may or may not evolve into love, but when I begin to feel this way and crave an emotional exchange with that person in the form of sexual intercourse, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to mess up my vibration, but if I have strong feelings for someone and I know they care about me as well, I have trouble abstaining from sex with them until I know for sure, which may not happen until the relationship is over anyway. I would be very grateful for any thoughts you have on this.
– Angela

Dear Angela:

Let’s explore the notion that having sex with someone you’re not positive you love may deter spiritual development. Certainly we find the notion that sex and spirit are somehow at odds in many religious traditions, and casual sex is frowned upon in most cultures. The practical problems that can arise from being too casual in our approach to sex are obvious, but these social mores are also rooted in some metaphysical truths.

It’s important to remember that every interaction between people involves an exchange of energy, and sex involves the fullest exchange possible. In fact, we might consider S.E.X. an acronym for “soul energy x-change.”

When we go to buy a car, interview for a job, or even meet someone new in a social setting, we will tend to be somewhat guarded. In various social interactions, we only let so much of our true selves “out,” and we only let so much of that other person’s energy in.

When we have sex with someone, however, we “open up” to them. You might say we get naked with them on every level. This means the auric walls that normally help us maintain our separate sense of self come down, which leads to an exchange of energies. Because of this, the people we have sex with can have a much greater impact on us than other people. When we “invite” a lover to mingle his or her energy with ours, all sorts of things can happen.

At the positive end of the spectrum, we can actually heal others (or be healed by them) via sexual interaction. In your case, if you had sex with someone who had a lower vibration than yours, with the right approach you may raise that person to YOUR vibrational level.

Sex can be a very spiritual endeavor. It can stretch our capacity to be giving, sensitive and compassionate with our partner; it can challenge us to rise above ego and self-consciousness to be fully present in the moment; it can take us to the edge of our boundaries, trust issues and hang-ups, where we become nothing more than who we were when we came into this world – one being reaching for bliss with another.

For many people, the ecstasy of orgasm is the closest they get to divine bliss, and as such, it can open them up to a whole new dimension of experience. To me, orgasm is the clearest experience we have of the ultimately energetic nature of life. Sex can initiate the release of kundalini and encourage spiritual development. Sexual energy is powerful, and our deep desire for love leads us to many of our most important life lessons.

When it comes to matters of love and sex, I strongly believe that there are no hard and fast rules: we have to trust our intuition to lead us. For example, most of us are naturally attracted to people who are on our vibrational “wavelength.” It is unlikely we would date someone of a vastly different vibration for long, and thus unlikely we’d have sex with them in the first place.

We have a built in barometer that deters us from opening up to people whose vibration is so far from ours that it could be harmful to us. Having sex with someone this different tends to feel awkward or wrong. Some people, however, actually get a dangerous little thrill out of acting AGAINST their intuition and being “bad,” especially when it comes to sex. Women who always go for “bad boys” are a good example, and they usually suffer some nasty consequences as a result. Of course, drunken one-night stands tend to yield some interesting pairings as well!

When we do have sex with someone who is not a good match for us, we expose ourselves to all of their issues and energies. This may lead us to get caught up in all sorts of dramas. Then negative emotion lowers our vibration, and all the drama distracts us from our higher/spiritual goals.

One of the greatest hazards of casual sex is the potential for attachment by astral entities. While this can happen outside of sexual contact, when we completely open ourselves up during sex, it is easy for an entity attached to our lover to shift to us.

Also, I have heard from many women over the years who were making love to their husband or boyfriend when “someone else” moved in. Sometimes that other being was perceived to be “inside” their lover, and the women felt their lover “become someone else.” Sometimes they actually saw the other entity above or next to their lover, trying to “take over” the lovemaking session.

The lower astral is full of opportunistic entities that are earthbound due to some addiction. The spirits of sex addicts are drawn to lust, and try to live vicariously through people engaged in sex. If, however, you and your partner are making love at a high vibration, lower astral entities with neither be attracted to you nor able to affect you.

The more love you flow during sex, the more it will nourish your heart and spirit. If your partner is not spiritually “awake” and you are, he could weigh you down spiritually, but this would extend beyond the bedroom anyway. This doesn’t mean our partners must share our paths or even our passion for spiritual growth; there are lots of ways to be “spiritual.”

So how do we decide when to “do it” in a relationship? While we should trust our intuition, we might also remember that when we have sex with someone, we are essentially telling them that we trust them with our lives, our health, our hearts and our dreams for love. For some people, that sort of trust comes easy, and for others, it comes hard.

I also think that to learn anything in life, we have to be willing to explore and experiment, so if we feel strongly drawn to do something and there is no obvious reason it would be foolish, we should do it. This is how we’re guided to learn the things we need to learn and heal the issues we most need to heal.

Finally, I think you may be too caught up in defining what it means to “really love” someone. Even if you don’t know if you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner, you can still interact with them WITH love. If you look for the divine in the one you’re with, you will embody love. When you do anything from this high vibration, wonderful experiences are sure to follow.

– Soul Arcanum

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