Dear Soul Arcanum:
My question concerns karmic bondage. It is generally said that when we have unfinished karma with another person, like if there is strong hatred, anger or guilt, then after we leave this physical world, we reincarnate together to play exact opposite roles to clear up the karmic baggage of previous incarnations. Does this happen even when one has unconditional love towards the other? Can love make people reincarnate again, even if one of them has achieved self-realization? Can we stay un-affected by others’ intention to reincarnate with us? Thank you!
Muralidhar
Dear Muralidhar:
I’m sure that humankind’s understanding of karma, reincarnation, and similar subjects is very limited. As these are huge questions, I can only offer you what I’ve come to understand via some 20 years of past life readings as well as in depth study of research into these matters, such as the work of Dr. Michael Newton, Ph.D., who has regressed many subjects to the period between lives and then asked them deep questions about how incarnations are planned, as well as the research of great minds such as Dr. Brian Weiss, Dr. Ian Stevenson, Carol Bowman, etc.
It’s my understanding that when we are acting out karma
in an unconscious way, we tend to do one of two things: we either act/react as you describe, or we get stuck in the same pattern over and over again. By the way, I believe this is true whether we’re talking about past lives or past experiences in our current life, so it may be easier to understand what I’m describing if we ponder how we all deal with various types of issues in a single lifetime.
Let’s take, for example, a relationship between young siblings. One child lashes out and strikes the other, at which point, the other child tends to respond by hitting back, cowering in submission, running away for help, etc. What an individual chooses to do in response to another’s actions depends on theirpersonality,
social conditioning, level of spiritual development, etc. It is only when young souls mature that they begin to attempt more skillful, mindful responses.
So when we are acting out karma from an unconscious level, we do tend to either act/react or get stuck in certain patterns from one lifetime to the next. We may spend lifetime after lifetime trying to do unto others as they’ve done unto us, or playing the victim or bully over and over again in relationships. With time and experience we learn and grow, however, which leads us to change.
Please note my qualifier above that this is what happens when we act out karma from an unconscious level. When we grow conscious of why we are doing what we are doing, and we make a choice to reach for something better, we set ourselves free from this mindless karmic dance, and can then move into a higher level of experience.
When we grow more spiritually aware than your average bear and begin to consciously work from a metaphysical level, we can purposefully affect situations as desired. (We are unconsciously creating our realities all the time. The difference here is in our level of awareness: the more aware we are, the more empowered we are to break free of subconscious patterns and influences.)
So what’s missing from the simple view of karma as an endless dance of cause and effect is the truth that we are all divine creators of our own experiences, and are blessed with free will. Some people do unconsciously act and react over and over again, playing out the sort of karmic dynamics you describe, while others will purposefully break those patterns and make quantum leaps into new levels of experience instead of endlessly bouncing back and forth along the same old line.
It is thus through the cultivation of higher awareness that we attain liberation
from karmic bondage.
(Sound familiar?)
The way you phrased your question suggests that life on Earth is something we are better off avoiding. We must remember that our perspective on rebirth while we’re here in the physical is very different from how we may view it when we’re in Spirit and planning our next incarnation. It’s my understanding that we don’t have to reincarnate with someone if we don’t want to, but if it would be beneficial for us to do so on a soul level, then we may happily choose to do just that. From a higher spiritual perspective, this feels like a powerful opportunity, not a prison sentence.
On the flip side, love can and does lead us to reincarnate. In fact, all heartfelt desires tend to be fulfilled, so if we long to live with someone we loved in the past again, we will reincarnate in order to fulfill that wish. I often see this with people who fall in love with someone whom they can’t live with for some reason. When it’s not possible for them to be together as life partners, and they deeply desire to have this experience, then their strong desire naturally leads to a future life in which they can be together. Vows and promises are powerful soul contracts, so whether we promise someone we’ll come back to them or we vow to get even, we will play those plans out on a subconscious level until we become conscious of them and make a new choice. I view incarnating like taking a big trip or vacation: we choose to do it for the sake of the experience/adventure. Yes, traveling can be exhausting and scary and full of mishaps and inconveniences. Nevertheless, we all hunger to explore and experience something new and different, for it is our nature (as well as the nature of the Universe) to continue to expand: to spiral up and out, ad infinitum.
Also, our quality of life and our feelings about rebirth are greatly influenced by our level of spiritual development: the greater our power to consciously create what we want in the physical, the better our trips get. Thus there are people living in third world countries who long to escape this life, and there are also people who have attained a higher level of spiritual power and awareness who are signing up to go over with the Peace Corps for the sake of the experience and the opportunity to help make the world a better place. Both end up living in the same basic circumstances, but one is coming from a position of disempowerment and suffering, while the other is empowered and having a fine time.
In summary, yes: some people do mindlessly repeat the same karmic dance over and over again throughout many lifetimes as you describe. Eventually, however, we all learn and become motivated to change, which leads us to a higher level of experience. The bottom line is that our karma is personal: we are the ones who determine our level of freedom. The more we cultivate higher awareness, the freer we are to consciously choose our own course of experience.
– Soul Arcanum