Dear Soul Arcanum:
My teenage daughter has a good head on her shoulders. She’s a great student, never in trouble, and hangs out with good kids. She recently announced that she is going to become a “Wiccan,” and her father just flipped out. He started screaming at her, asking her if she knew this meant she would be a “pagan,” and if she was going to start having sex with children and animals. She was totally taken aback by this response, as was I, but she stood right up to him and told him she had been reading a great deal about it, and felt drawn to it regardless of what he thinks. I don’t think her father really knows anything about Wicca. I have known a few people who have been into it. Some have been weird, and some have been wonderful. Should we be concerned?
D.
Dear D.:
Your question itself is very illuminating, for modern Wicca can indeed be both weird and wonderful. I have met some very ungrounded, flaky and far out people via Wiccan channels, and I have also met beautiful, powerful, ethical and sincerely spiritual people the same way. This, however, is true of every religion. Just like priestly pedophiles get tons of press, weird pagans tend to hog the spotlight.
Wicca is unfortunately often confused with Satanism, which casts such a menacing shadow over it that most people turn and run without ever really looking at what is true. I don’t know of a single Wiccan who even believes that Satan exists, however, much less worships him. Wicca is in no way Satanic, and it sounds like her father is confusing the two.
Wicca has gained in popularity as more and more people have abandoned the rigid dogma of many organized religions in search of a more personal connection to the Divine. It’s now even officially recognized as a religion by the U.S. government, even though there is no central authority telling everyone what is true and what they “should” be doing. (Wiccans are known for their independent thinking.)
Modern Wicca is indeed a form of neo-paganism. Unfortunately, Christianity has lent the word “pagan” negative connotations. A pagan, through this lens, is uncivilized and uneducated. As pagan really means someone who sees God in all of nature, or someone who tolerates the existence of all gods, then given the revelations of quantum physics and the tragic role of religious intolerance in igniting wars, I think being “pagan” suggests a certain degree of spiritual maturity and sophistication. Wicca reveres the divinity in all of nature and seeks to harness universal creative energy for personal growth and humanitarian change. Wiccans share a deep respect for all living beings, and as a group, they assume more personal responsibility for their own choices than adherents of any other religion I’ve encountered. They also honor the free will of every living being – including themselves. They see God/Goddess/divinity in everything and everyone, and thus the number one “rule” in Wicca is “Do as ye will, but harm none.”
You didn’t mention what her father’s spiritual beliefs are, and if he adopted them part and parcel from his parents, as so many people do, or if he is so opinionated because he has been blessed by some direct revelation from God Him/Herself. I presume, however, that he either considers himself Christian or an atheist/ scientist. The cure for this conflict is not to prevent your daughter from exploring Wicca, but rather to get her father to learn more about it. A little research will reveal to him, for example, that almost all Christian traditions have their roots in pagan beliefs and rituals. Christians practice pagan rituals all the time – they just don’t know it. As mentioned above, Wicca’s pantheistic foundation is also very much in harmony with modern science and quantum physics.
Research may not completely resolve the problem, however, for there is a big difference between Christianity and Wicca: Wiccans honor both the feminine and the masculine forces in nature, where Christians, I’m sorry to say, tend to be a bit more patriarchal. A great deal of anti-Wiccan sentiment is thus simple misogyny, just like back during the witch-hunting days. If her father is uncomfortable with strong women in general, he may have a very hard time respecting your daughter’s right to make any decisions for herself, even in matters as profoundly personal as her spiritual beliefs.
By contrast, I have never heard of a Wiccan trying to convert anyone, or trying to impose their own beliefs on others. Most witches also have no problem with Christianity and other paths, aside from the efforts by people of those religions to deny others religious freedom. In this way, Wiccans tend to be far more “Christian” (loving their neighbors as themselves, and doing unto others as they would have done unto them) than many Christians. (I doubt her father, for example, would want anyone telling him what to believe or how to worship, so in this matter, she’s more “Christian” than he is). In fact, the “golden rule” is fundamental to Wiccans, who believe that everything that they do comes back to them threefold. Thus it foolish to harm others, and always wise to do good in the world. (Scientists believe in karma as well, which they refer to as Newton’s law of physics: “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”)
Most Wiccans strive to make the world a better place for everyone. They are often actively engaged in promoting environmental care, equal rights and religious tolerance. They believe that through proper application of one’s will (which is energy), one can affect physical reality (which is ultimately also energy). My own personal experience with Wicca confirmed that we can indeed use mental and emotional energy to generate positive change in the physical. I’m confident again that quantum physicists would wholeheartedly agree. The more scientists delve into the nature of creation, the more scientific theories align with spiritual truth.
Some common Wiccan practices include energy healing, seeking divine guidance and manifesting positive goals. There is generally a great deal of emotional therapy involved, such as releasing negative emotions and embracing spiritual growth and positive change. This may be done in some dramatic ways with spells and rituals which incorporate meditation, drumming, chanting, dancing, singing, praying, divination, etc. Most Wiccans are grounded enough to know that the props, practices and other accoutrements of ritual work are simply tools they are employing to alter their state of consciousness in order to energetically affect reality. There are a few, however, who get caught up in the drama for the sake of the drama, and come across as “flaky” or out of touch with “reality.”
As Wicca attracts both weird and wonderful people, who your daughter learns from and associates with is key. If she were Catholic, Buddhist or Muslim, you’d want to know she was safe and in good hands, and the same holds true here. She obviously has good judgment already, however. (How many teenagers are great students, never in trouble, etc.?) Continue to emphasize the values you’ve already taught her: honesty, courage, kindness, compassion, respect, etc., and tell her that you trust she will find her own best path to God.
Your daughter is strong enough to work things out with her father as she grows into the woman she is becoming. I feel that her father’s resistance here may even help her in the long run. As she steps into her own power as an adult, she may need someone to define herself against. Let her sharpen her edges against him. It’s good for her spirit, and over time, I feel he’ll grow to respect her judgment and strength!
– Soul Arcanum