Tag Archive: law of attraction


Breaking Free of Helplessness

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Breaking Free of Helplessness


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Over the years I have become emotionally depressed and unhappy. I used to be a gal who would keep herself clean. I was happy and a go-getter. However, for the past seven years I have been emotionally depressed. I stay in the same clothes for weeks at a time and rarely shower or brush my teeth. I think about suicide a lot. My blood relatives are abusive and uncaring, and I live with a man I have a child with but I don’t feel an emotional attachment to either one of them. I want so badly for this man to leave my home but he refuses. He does nothing for me emotionally, physically or spiritually. This is a very unhealthy relationship. I’ve also lost my looks and gained 60 pounds. Sometimes I can’t even leave my home to shop for groceries. I need insights into what to do before I just can’t take this life anymore.

Randi

Dear Margo:

Since you’re having suicidal thoughts, I urge you to get medical help. None of the spiritual or practical ideas I suggest will be helpful if you can’t summon the will to live. In addition to your family physician, there are suicide hotlines you can call to get information about other local resources; please pick up the phone and reach out for local help today.

There are many things that can cause depression. Generally speaking, depression occurs when life force energy is inadequate or repressed. The greater our life force energy, the greater our health, happiness and personal power. Depression isn’t a feeling so much as an absence of feeling, a lack of passion, desire and all that gives life color.

Your depression probably began when you were going through a period of great angst due to the troubled relationships in your life. Perhaps you felt there was no good answer or solution, or you felt guilty for feeling the way you did, so you shut down emotionally to escape endless torment. Unfortunately, this eventually led you to stop feeling much of anything at all.

To break free, you’ll have to find the courage to feel whatever is behind this emotional numbness. This won’t be easy; you must be very afraid of facing the truth to have put yourself through so much suffering already.

In failing to honor the truth in your own heart, you are betraying yourself. When we deny our true feelings, when we say yes instead of no, when we don’t allow ourselves to leave miserable relationships due to guilt, when we do anything that goes against our true desires and needs, we disconnect from our emotional body. This leads us to disconnect from the voice of our intuition, which is why people can get endlessly stuck in depression: they can’t hear their inner guidance trying to tell them what to do to feel better.

As I mentioned above, the first thing is to seek medical help. After this, there are lots of practical steps you can take to shift toward positive change, but it may be hard for you to summon the will to get moving. This is where a sincere, caring hypnotherapist and/or energy healer may prove invaluable.

A hypnotherapist can help you consciously realize the fears that are keeping you stuck so you can face whatever is behind the depression and find a way through it. An energy healer can help you get your chi moving again without you having to summon the will to do anything except passively open up to receiving an influx of the life force energy you’re starving for. Such a healer can also temporarily clear away blocks and thus facilitate a greater flow of energy through your whole being, which will empower you to take constructive action.

For changes to last, however, you will have to renovate your inner world, and this is going to require a lot of effort on your part. You’re going to have to learn to think more positively, visualize what you desire, and take good care of yourself. You’ll have to learn how to better control what you think, feel, say and do; how to generate a higher flow of life force energy yourself; how to cultivate healthy relationships; how to love yourself better. There are endless spiritual practices and therapies that can help you with all of this.

It would be helpful to view depression as primarily a life force energy problem. You might explore Eastern ideas like feng shui and Qigong to gain understanding of how energy flow affects our health and happiness. This will motivate you to take the practical steps necessary to encourage a greater flow of life force energy. By taking small, simple steps to boost the energy available to you, you’ll empower yourself to take on the deeper issues at work here.

Once the outside help you receive has you capable of taking action on your own behalf, there are many little things you can do to launch yourself on an upward spiral.

First, clean yourself up! Take a shower, wash your hair, put on clean clothes. If you find this daunting, take just one step: turn on the faucet to heat the water. Then take another little step, and another. Before you know it, you will be clean and feeling much better. (Physical hygiene is directly related to metaphysical hygiene, so if you’re dirty physically, your aura is full of yucky energies too. This is why taking a shower can make us feel emotionally and mentally refreshed.)

There are lots of other things you can do to raise your vibration and boost your life force energy, which will both make you feel better and empower you to create whatever you want in your life. I don’t have room to list them all here, so check out this former column. These ideas may sound too simple to do much, but if you summon the will to work with them, they will work for you.

Above all, however, you must remedy the root cause of this depression to be free of it for good. As I mentioned above, this appears to be a classic case of self-betrayal. You are forcing yourself to deny the truth in your heart by staying in this relationship. Further, when two people are very unhappy together, negative feelings just keep circulating and dragging them both down into an ever more toxic situation.

To break free of depression, it’s imperative you trust your heart and take action accordingly. If your inner being is telling you that you must get out of this relationship, then your emotional pain is actually trying to help you by pushing you to take action. A good therapist can help you figure out how to create the outer circumstances your inner being is calling for.

To find true peace and happiness in life, you must listen to and honor the truth in your own heart above all. While you’re learning to do this, it would be wise stay away from people who bring you down, stress you out, or make you doubt yourself. Also, strive to act loving to yourself and others regardless of what other people do. This will make you feel good about yourself, draw positive energy to you, and shift you into harmony with a higher level of experience.

The fact that you wrote me for help is a positive, encouraging sign: it means you do want to live and find happiness. If you take the steps outlined above, you’ll begin to pull yourself out of this hole of despair, and eventually you’ll find yourself in the sun, feeling like your old self again. Please also remember the power of prayer: you have spirit guides and angels who are ever ready to help you find your way to greater health, peace and happiness.

– Soul Arcanum

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When a Psychic Squashes Your Dreams

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Psychic Readings by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on When a Psychic Squashes Your Dreams


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My mother got an email reading done by a psychic, and she was able to ask three questions. Mom’s final question was if my new natural soap and skincare business would be a success. The psychic responded, “As it’s being planned at the moment, it doesn’t seem to be the biggest success, but if she could either sell the idea/ brand to a bigger company or work as part of a bigger brand, she’ll achieve happiness in her profession.” I emailed her regarding why I would have to do that when it’s not what I want to do, and her response was “I just gave you the answer I got – that’s how it works. It’s not my opinion.” This whole experience makes me think that readings can do more harm than good. It’s like psychics are playing God with your life and deciding your future. How can I discard the bad feelings I have from this reading? I’m using the LOA and creative visualization, and so far things are going great. I refuse to let this psychic tell me my efforts are all in vain.

Paulette

Dear Paulette:

I’m not crazy about the term soul contract; it could be misleading by causing some of us to feel like our loved ones somehow owe us something, and if they don’t do what we think they should do, then somehow they are failing us or reneging on some cosmic deal. When we talk about working on karma, we are wise to always focus on what we can do to make things right with others, not what we think they need to do to make things right with us.

Many people assume that finding a soul mate is the answer to their lifelong prayers for love, but this is often far from the truth. Soul mate relationships tend to be intense, passionate and often volatile because they are ripe with learning and growth opportunities. Further, many people view divorce or the end of long-term love affairs as the failure of those relationships, but in truth, those endings always propel us forward into new lessons and experiences, so they facilitate new growth and the potential for greater love.

I would keep an open mind about the deeper nature of your relationship, for no one can say for sure what the higher plan for you all may be. Even if your assumptions are valid, then the three of you all have strong soul connections to each other. It may be that your man has chosen to fulfill the contract he has with this younger woman and to tackle the lessons involved in that relationship instead of focusing on the lessons that your relationship may have to offer.

This brings us to the wisdom of remembering that we all have free will. Life puts before us an endless smorgasbord of learning paths and potentials, and we get to choose moment by moment what we will savor next. It’s entirely possible that your man is following his heart and in line with fulfilling his destiny, and is therefore not really avoiding anything. When we assume that we are right and others are wrong about deeper truths such as the soul nature of a relationship, we are almost always stuck in ego.

It’s also possible that you are caught up in a vow from a past life that is no longer valid or beneficial. When we make sacred vows, they can follow us from lifetime to lifetime until we consciously withdraw them and tell all levels of our being that we are free to move on. When we are caught up in an old vow, we often experience just what you describe: a tumultuous roller coaster of passion and conflict, union and separation, followed by reunion and another round of drama.

It’s clear to me that you have lessons to learn from the situation exactly as it is, and that it would be wise to smile upon all that happens with trust in a higher plan. It may be, for example, that your soul agreement was to come together in just the manner you describe: to return together lifetime after lifetime and feel that sense of connection, only to have him be pulled away or choose another path, and for you to learn to make peace with his decision and not having things go the way you think they should go.

Not even the greatest psychic can say for sure exactly what has been happening throughout your lifetimes together, and more importantly, WHY. One thing I do know is that any perspective that blames one party in a situation as wrong and the other as somehow unfairly victimized is very limited and distorted. On a soul level, you are agreeing to go through all of this too, so there must be a good reason for it. Given your inner conflict and turmoil about it all, it clearly holds powerful lessons for you personally.

All of this being said, I do understand how you feel. I had a similar experience with a woman I remembered having a very deep and troubled past life history with. I wanted us to do everything we could to make peace with each other and cultivate new love so that the next time we meet, we would have lots of good karma going in instead of repeating the same old patterns. She, however, demonstrated no interest whatsoever in working on our karma together. It became clear to me that I was far more troubled about the state of our relationship than she was, and perhaps there was great wisdom in simply letting it all go. Certainly it made no sense to insist on dancing with someone who clearly didn’t want to dance with me. To my great surprise, I eventually realized that I had learned and grown more from her refusal to “love me” as I wanted to be loved than I would have from working on the relationship with her.

What did I learn? I learned that I can’t always bend my spiritual path in the direction I think it should go. I learned to surrender with trust that everything happens for a good reason. I learned that I don’t need anyone else to do anything in particular for me to feel better – that I can reach for a high vibration and cultivate love and joy in my heart all on my own. I learned to trust even more in the law of attraction, and to keep in mind that when relationships go against nature or a higher plan, it’s like swimming upstream to try to keep them together. Perhaps most of all I learned that I don’t have to get a certain person’s love or approval to be happy and to love and approve of myself.

This is a really huge lesson to learn, for we all hunger for love, and we also tend to value the love of people who are hard to win over more than the love of the people who already adore us. We can thus spend lifetime after lifetime seeking the love of one particular individual obsessively, when deep down, what we really hunger for us a sense of wholeness and well-being in and of ourselves. All these relationships, soul agreements, soul contracts, karmic entanglements and the like are just dramas through which we work out the love within us and between us and the Divine, which means we can get what we need through an endless number of experiences. We don’t need any particular individual to soar free and clear of old issues, wounds and hang-ups, for everything is ultimately about us and our own journey to Divine Grace.

I recommend you let go of making this guy so special in your mind and heart, and begin to look at all of this in a more general, symbolic way. What does this man symbolize for you? What are the lessons and issues you’ve been working out through this relationship? If you focus on those deeper personal issues, you can set yourself free of this drama and move on to new lessons and more fulfilling connections. Your own heart and soul determine the quality of your experiences far more than your history does; if you are at peace and full of love, you can soar free of old patterns to cultivate much higher levels of experience.

– Soul Arcanum

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The Law of Attraction and Conflicting Desires

Filed Under: Law of Attraction, Manifesting by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on The Law of Attraction and Conflicting Desires


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Let’s say you want to use the law of attraction to develop a new career but you have gotten very comfortable living the status quo, which is extremely easy and makes you feel safe and protected. Would it be hard to attract a high paying, powerful position that requires bold assertion, the ability to function under lots of stress, multi-tasking and lots of challenges? The two just don’t seem to blend well. Would it be impossible to attain a powerful corporate position if you also want peace and tranquility?

C.

Dear C.:

What you’re basically asking is what happens metaphysically when we have conflicting desires. It sounds like on one hand, you’d like all the things you believe would come with a powerful position, but on the other hand, you don’t want to give up the sense of peace and security you’ve manifested already. This is the same basic issue that people struggle with when they want a fulfilling relationship but don’t want to give up their freedom and independence, or when they want to lose weight and get in shape but they don’t want to give up chocolate or exercise regularly.

When we find ourselves stuck in conflicting desires, perhaps the most powerful thing we can do is to examine our beliefs and assumptions. For example, you have assumed that having a high-paying, powerful position means that you will have to deal with lots of stress. That is not necessarily true, since we determine our own stress level by how we interpret and respond to our experiences. You also assume that you would have to be good at multi-tasking, but this isn’t necessarily true either; perhaps you could just hire great people and then delegate to them.

Similarly, someone who both wants a big love affair and yet fears the loss of their freedom and independence has limiting beliefs and assumptions at work, for there are endless ways to get what we want. Perhaps the answer for this person is a long distance relationship in which they see their partner for long weekends every few weeks or so. Our friend who wants to lose weight but doesn’t want to give up chocolate is also assuming that it’s impossible to both eat chocolate and lose weight, which isn’t necessarily true either.

So when you’re caught up in conflicting desires, stop and ask yourself what limiting beliefs or assumptions are causing you to feel conflicted. Then step back and expand your view by asking what if questions, such as, What if I could have all that I want? For example, what if you could have a powerful, high-paying position that also brought you peace and plenty of relaxation? You don’t have to figure out the details; your job at this point is to expand your belief about what is possible and open up to more of the infinite possibilities available to you.

The other thing to consider is the role of fear in all of this, which we find in your desire for comfort and “security.” It’s fine to crave peace, comfort and relaxation, but the desire for a sense of security raises some red flags. A desire for so-called security is almost always rooted in fear that if you leave what has been established, you may regret it for some reason, or if you embrace a higher level of experience in some way, you may not be able to handle everything that comes with it.

Balancing desire and fear is like a tug of war. If you have any true desire and no fear about not getting what you want, it’s easy to manifest whatever you imagine. It’s good to start working with the law of attraction by focusing on manifesting things that sound easy and delightful, for then we can manifest what we want quickly. The more we do this, the more faith we build in our power to manifest bigger things.

When we have very strong desire for something, we tend to have strong fear that we won’t get it. This is like having two big, brawny guys on each end of a tug of war. Which will win – desire or fear? Since they’re well matched, nothing will seem to move until one of them grows stronger than the other for some reason.

You can stoke up your desire by visualizing what you want and vividly imagining how it will feel to get it; this is like feeding your strong man of desire steroids. Conversely, you can work on relaxing into faith that no matter what happens, you’ll be fine and happy, which is like giving the strong man of fear a tranquilizer. Either will lead to greater power on the desire end and thus movement toward fulfillment. Dramatic changes metaphysically lead to dramatic changes physically, so working on both ends with focus and devotion tends to yield seemingly magical results.

Of course, it is essential to get clear about what it is that you really want as opposed to what you think you want. Often we get caught up in some specific idea about what want simply because other people seem to want the same thing so much that we assume it must be a great thing to have. We are constantly being influenced by other people, the mass media, the cultures we live in, etc. The more this influence occurs on a subconscious level, the more we may pursue certain things under the assumption that they are what we really want, when in truth, they are simply symbols representing something else. When we react to the world around us instead of acting from the truth in our hearts, we can end up a long way down the wrong road before we realize that we’re not as happy as we expected to be. We can also end up very confused and conflicted as our egos latch onto what we think we want while our higher selves tug at us to stop and listen to our hearts so we can figure out what will truly bring us fulfillment.

If you’re not sure what you want, it’s very helpful to get LESS specific instead of more. If you think you want a <q>powerful, high paying career,</q> why do you want it? What about that idea appeals to you? Do you crave more excitement? Are you bored and longing for a new challenge? Do you really want prestige, or do you just like the idea of wearing expensive, beautiful clothing each day? Maybe you know someone who has a house in the Hamptons who has a powerful, high paying career, and what you really want is not the career but the feelings you associate with having a house in the Hamptons. Maybe you feel a need to prove yourself capable of big success, and what you’re really after is validation of your intelligence and competency, which is ultimately a desire to feel better about yourself. Whatever feeling is behind the idea of what you think you want is what you REALLY want, and usually, there are endless ways to get it without compromising your other needs. In fact, the deeper we go in determining what it is we really want, the simpler and easier it becomes to get it.

Hypnotherapy and guided meditation can be very helpful, powerful tools for both determining what we really want and programming our subconscious minds to align with the manifestation of fulfillment. When we get congruent on all levels, we can manifest with speed and power. To be congruent means that our thoughts and plans are in harmony with our deeper nature and the truth in our hearts, and our actions are also in harmony with our conscious intentions. When we are congruent, it’s like all of our strength and power is on one side of that tug of war, which means we are free to race toward the manifestation of our desire.

– Soul Arcanum

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Manifesting Your Dream Career

Filed Under: Energy/Vibration, Law of Attraction, Manifesting by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Manifesting Your Dream Career


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’m 30 and want to discover the deeper purpose for my life. I want to do what I’m passionate about for a living, and believe we should reflect our true selves in every move we make each day. For the moment, my job can’t cover the expenses of having a place on my own. On the other hand I follow the non-effort pattern. I know we sometimes make choices that don’t serve our evolution. I know that if we commit to following our life purpose, Source gives us all the support we need and things flow smoothly, where if we struggle and say I want to do this or that, we have to fight for it. I guess I would like to hear your story. How did you start doing what you are doing? How have you happily merged your dreams with your vocation?
Hugs!
Andreea

Dear Andreea:

Your question took me back some 20 years to when I was in a similar place in my own life. First I’ll share my journey, then I’ll share the things I’ve learned that may help you fulfill your own dreams.

I had always wanted to be a writer and had chosen to study journalism in college. When I was 20, I experienced a spontaneous psychic awakening while pregnant with my first child. For some time I was a stay-at-home mom. During those years, I was intensely caught up in a spiritual awakening; I was exploring lots of different spiritual practices, taking various classes and constantly reading about spiritual subjects.

It was around this time that I began to have lots of spontaneous spirit communication. This would just happen when someone was talking to me with love about someone who had died; it wasn’t something I could control. When it did happen, I was very moved by how powerful and healing it was to relay messages from to the grieving from their departed loved ones.

One day I was pondering why I had this ability and what I was supposed to do with it. I had always longed to do something fun such as writing screenplays, but as my life had taken a decidedly spiritual turn, I wondered if I was being led to some path in particular.

At that moment, I had a life-changing spiritual experience. It doesn’t sound all that dramatic here, but trust me, it was! As I was pondering all of this, I suddenly felt this immense presence and heard a voice speak to me in my mind. It asked me a question: If you could do either one – if you could succeed in writing screenplays or you could work as a medium and truly help the grieving, which would you choose?

I intuited that this was more than a hypothetical question – that I was at that time being asked to choose between something of a high road and a low road. Without hesitation, I chose the spiritual path, but I did mentally express my concern that I was unable to control my mediumship abilities.

Within two weeks of answering this calling, three different people had mentioned the <i>School of Spiritual Healing and Prophecy</i> in Lily Dale, New York, to me. I took this as a sign that this was something I needed to check out. I visited Lily Dale a few months later, and knew immediately that I would attend this school and that it would be prove to be the missing piece of the puzzle I was looking for. All of this came to fruition.

During the years I was attending the school, my marriage began to unravel, for I was growing and changing by leaps and bounds. I could see the end was near, and for the first time ever, I had to figure out what I would do to earn a living. I found a great apartment practically next door to my best friend’s place and wanted to move there, but I was nervous about being able to pay the rent, which was $800/month.

I had recently been introduced to the concept of the Law of Attraction and decided to give it a try. I wrote the story of how I got just what I wanted in the past tense, as though it had already happened. In my story, I wrote that I had gotten a job on the internet that allowed me to work as a writer in the New Age field. It allowed me to set my own hours so I could take care of my kids, and it paid $800/month. Right after I wrote this story, the founder of Psychic Journal (now Soul Arcanum) emailed me, and within a couple of weeks, I was the editor of this new publication, and the job paid exactly $800 a month! (I kicked myself for not asking for more money, but instead of worrying about it, I got busy working with the law of attraction again, and within a few months I was making a good living.)

Now I’ll try to pick out the key elements of my success so you can apply them to your own journey.

 

  • Follow your bliss. Explore whatever calls to you and honor your passions. Even though many people told me that I’d never be able to make a living as a writer, I knew this was my path so I studied writing in college and sought work as a writer after. Similarly, I trusted that all my spiritual experiences were happening for a reason, so I explored them freely, thus laying a strong foundation for my future career

 

  • Trust your intuition, ask for and watch for signs, and act on them. This is essential. I realized I was being guided to go to Lily Dale, and I felt a certain charge around this idea so I followed up on it. When I heard from the founder of Psychic Journal, I similarly had a feeling that this was somehow an answer to a prayer, so I gave our correspondence my full attention.

 

  • Be willing to take things other people might call ‘risks.’ I know many people who would love to be self-employed who feel insecure without a regular paycheck. I don’t understand this, for there is nothing to worry about either way. Further, people who take responsibility for how much they make, such as entrepreneurs and salespeople, tend to enjoy a lot more freedom and financial rewards compared to the regular work force.

 

  • Believe that you can have what you want and that you will figure out how to make things work as you move forward. Many people told me that my goals were unrealistic – until I achieved them – then they all wanted to know how the heck I’d done it. To begin, you must believe that what you want is possible and that you can make it happen.

 

  • Conquer your fears to go for what you want. I was scared to support myself for the first time, especially since I had two young children. As I looked around, however, one way or another, everyone was making it, so I decided to just trust that things would work out. By conquering fear with faith that everything would be fine, I set myself free to experiment with doing what I really wanted to do.

 

  • Work with natural spiritual law. Whenever I want to create something new or different in my life, I dig in to working with the law of attraction. It never fails.

 

  • Take inspired action. I know many people who wish that they could do this or that, who never seem to manifest it because all they do is wish. We all get signs, insights and great ideas from Spirit every day; to fulfill our dreams, we have to take action on them.

 

  • Give the very best of yourself to everyone you meet and everyone you work with. To manifest extraordinary success, we have to put in extraordinary energy. If you strive to set yourself apart from the crowd by being willing to work harder, be more creative, more devoted and truly more caring, success will follow you wherever you go. By practicing the Golden Rule – being the sort of person you’d want to work with or hire yourself -you’ll naturally align with a smooth journey and lots of wonderful opportunities.

 

 

– Soul Arcanum

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How to Attract True Love

Filed Under: Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How to Attract True Love

 

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

How can I use the law of attraction to manifest true love with the perfect man for me?
Kezzer

Dear Kezzer:

There are a couple of ideas we need to explore before moving on to the subject of manifesting true love.

While reunions with soul mates tend to happen on a destined schedule, in many cases, we may have some control over the speed with which we draw certain people into our lives. Usually such reunions occur when ‘the time is right’ and ‘the stars align.’ Other times, the only thing holding us up is a lack of readiness for such a relationship on our part or the part of the one we’re seeking.

It’s important to realize that the perfect relationship for us at any given time may not be one that is meant to last a lifetime or fulfill all our dreams for love, passion and harmony. We are all in the process of healing old wounds, working through old karma and growing into greater personal potential, and the greatest forum for doing so is our relationships. This means that every relationship is perfect for us at that time, for it is there to fulfill some desire or teach us something we need to learn in order to move on to a higher experience of love.

This doesn’t mean that we have to take whatever comes our way. In fact, there are lots of things we can do to prepare ourselves for true love. Should we have to wait on destiny in order to meet up with a certain individual, we can also create a delightful experience of love in the mean time.

One of the most common misconceptions I run into in my counseling work is the idea that if a relationship doesn’t work out, something must have gone wrong. In fact, all relationships arise for a good reason, and from a higher spiritual perspective, these become clear as underlying patterns of experience. It can therefore be very helpful to seek higher awareness via meditation, hypnotherapy and other spiritual practices, or via spiritual counseling with a gifted intuitive reader, for when we become conscious of the issues we’re working on, we can spark breakthroughs and fast progress.

The first thing I recommend is to work on any subconscious (or conscious) issues that may be holding you back from a fulfilling romantic experience. We all have these issues, for behind and beneath all we do there is profound longing to be loved and to love others on a deep, rich level. Further, we’ve all had painful or less than fulfilling experiences of love in the past, and if these are left unresolved, unhealed or incomplete somehow, they will hold us back from greater fulfillment until they are addressed.

All of this is perfect, for it’s what propels us toward personal growth and spiritual evolution. Our longing for a deeper sense of happiness and fulfillment keeps us trying, which is all we need to keep doing in order to naturally discover, heal and release old wounds, karma and issues. In my view, it is love and the longing for love that makes the world go ’round and gets us out of bed each morning.

As each person is a unique and beautiful individual, the issues holding people back from true love are unique and personal to them. This is another reason why it’s important to go beyond the advice and philosophies of self-help gurus and get our hands dirty by embracing spiritual practices and therapies.

There are some general common stumbling blocks, of course. I think we’re all familiar with how a lack of self-esteem can prevent people from pursuing a relationship that is truly healthy and fulfilling. Similarly, fears of rejection and abandonment hold many people back from fulfilling their dreams for love. Limiting beliefs about what is possible in love are also common obstacles. When these issues remain unconscious, they hold us emotionally hostage until they are faced, worked through and transformed to align with a higher level of experience.

Whenever we find ourselves in a pattern that is frustrating or unfulfilling, we are therefore wise to look to our inner world. To make new progress, we must examine old wounds, deep fears and limiting beliefs, and continue to stretch ourselves to heal, empower ourselves and reach for greater personal potential. If you feel blocked, I highly recommend hypnotherapy, through which you can go back and heal and release old wounds and also cultivate new beliefs and a more constructive approach to love.

As I mentioned above, there are things we can do to align with a delightful experience of love even as we’re doing whatever inner work is necessary in order to prepare for the soul mate experience our souls are yearning for.

How we feel about love is ultra-important, for we tend to manifest what we expect, and what we focus upon grows larger in our experience. Just as it is important to let go of worrying about symptoms and focus on well-being in order to cultivate good health, we are wise to look past whatever we lack in terms of love and focus on embodying love itself in order to manifest more of it in our lives.

The more we give our attention to love with a positive feeling, the more we become magnets for it in all sorts of wonderful ways. If you don’t have a partner to shower with love and affection yet, you can love the one you’re with, by which I mean that you infuse all the relationships already in your life with more love. Flow love to your friends, family, neighbors and acquaintances. Upon greeting someone, say to yourself, The love in me greets the love in thee. Visualize your heart chakra openly flowing love and good will to everyone you meet.

One of the most powerful tools for working with the law of attraction is to write the story of what you want to happen in the past tense. The key to infusing this exercise with lots of power lies in the emotional vibration it carries you into.

First just sit for a few moments and think about all you long for in love. Imagine yourself with a partner who has all the traits you find attractive. Take a few moments to get very clear about how you want to feel. Allow images to come to you as you do this. You may imagine yourself receiving flowers, going on dates and kissing someone passionately. You may see yourself attending family functions with your partner on your arm. You may imagine how wonderful it will be to have someone you adore to snuggle up with in bed. Allow this to just flow naturally.

Now sit down and write out the story of how you found this love. This is not going to be published, so don’t censor yourself. Do make sure your phrasing is positive, however, and most importantly, take time as you write this to pause and sink into all the wonderful feelings that imagining this brings up for you. If you really get into this exercise, your heart will soon be soaring. You will feel like your chest is tingling or expanding with light or energy – this is what you want!

Once your story is complete and you’ve basked in all those wonderful feelings for a while, let it go. You can put it away in a drawer or file it away on your computer. It doesn’t matter. You’re not going to go back to it because you’re going to trust that what you desire has been set in motion, and the love you long for is already on its way to you.

If you now just consciously strive to embody and flow love to everyone you meet, and you stay in a high vibration, soon delightful love will be knocking on your door.

 

– Soul Arcanum

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Breaking Old Patterns to Manifest True Love

Filed Under: Healing, Hypnotherapy, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Breaking Old Patterns to Manifest True Love

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have been in a relationship for almost four years with a man that I deeply love and thought I was going to marry. We have just recently parted ways. He lost his wife over five years ago, and it seems the longer we were together, the more his grief grew and his love for me diminished. I have sadly accepted that our relationship was not healthy, and it is better for both of us to move on separately. At times I’m relieved to be free of his depression and lack of love, but I’m devastated by his rejection and the trauma of having to quickly move from our beautiful home to a very small apartment. I have been in three relationships in my life, each time with men that were emotionally unavailable for one reason or another. I now have realized that I attract men who will ultimately reject and abandon me. I’m 46 years old. How can I stop this pattern so I can enjoy a mutually loving, emotionally supportive relationship?
Warm Regards,
Michele

Dear Michele:

As I see it, you’re already on your way to something better. You’ve become consciously aware of this pattern in your life, and by seeking deeper understanding of it, you will gain the power to break free and create positive change.

In order to move on, the first thing is to become conscious of why you tend to get involved with men who are emotionally unavailable. You may think you know why, but if you continue to end up in this same situation over and over again, there must be more that you have yet to uncover.

To unearth the buried beliefs or issues behind this pattern of experience, I highly recommend hypnotherapy. Through regression work and dialoging with your higher self, you can manifest amazing transformations in your life practically overnight. I’ve been truly amazed by the breakthroughs I’ve seen people tap into by addressing the subconscious beliefs underlying undesirable patterns of experience.

For example, some months ago I worked with a friend who had all sorts of rules about love that had been drilled into her since childhood. Her mother had married for financial security, and even though her own marriage was miserable, she’d always told her daughter to find a man with money. Despite the fact that my friend is very financially successful herself, she had major hang-ups about how much money a guy had to make in order for her to be interested in him. On a conscious level, she could see that this rule about marrying money was holding her back from finding a truly nice guy because the men she dated tended to be rich, self-centered, demanding, arrogant workaholics. Nevertheless, she believed that she couldn’t be attracted to a man who wasn’t a huge financial success.

After just three sessions in hypnotherapy, everything began to change. In addition to becoming conscious of why she kept doing what she was doing, and working through some of the fears behind this limiting pattern, she also became aware of some of the lessons she is working on this lifetime, which include finding faith in her ability to take good care of herself instead of needing a man to lean on. While she is still looking for the one, instead of feeling miserable about her love life, she is now having a fantastic time dating all sorts of kind, wonderful men.

Like my friend, we all repeat dysfunctional patterns over and over again until we heal the deep wounds and learn the big lessons that keep leading us back into those situations. Thus women who grew up in families without fathers may subconsciously pursue men who will leave them, and in this way, recreate a situation where all the pain from the past can be brought to the surface and finally healed. By consciously working through the issues involved, they empower themselves to move on to a higher level of experience.

So when we find ourselves repeating the same destructive, unfulfilling patterns over and over again, we can be sure that there is something deep within us that is driving this behavior. Usually, this isn’t something we can clearly point to on a conscious level, which is why things like hypnotherapy and spiritual counseling often prove powerful where all sorts of practical, reasonable efforts fail.

Once you’ve brought any shadows into the light and healed and released them, you just need to get into vibrational harmony with what you want. This can be trickier than it sounds, for in addition to thinking about what we want, we have to FEEL the way we want to feel. To manifest true love, we have to fall in love with love and feel just as buoyant now as we expect to feel when we’ve found the one we’re looking for.

One powerful way to shift ourselves into a higher vibration in order to manifest something that has proven tricky for us is to get soaring in every other area of our lives. So if we want to have a fabulous love relationship, we’re wise to ask ourselves if every other aspect of our lives is fabulous. If we have goals or dreams that we could be pursuing in other areas, then we’re wise to get going on those relatively easy things first.

So if you want a fabulous love relationship, ask yourself these questions: Is my house in fabulous order? Am I wonderfully successful in my career? Do I look and feel fabulous? Are my finances in terrific shape? Is my daily life in order and ready for a big, wonderful new addition?

We all have things that we want and need to do that we put off for various reasons. When there are things that we CAN do to improve our lives, and we don’t get on them, we keep ourselves from the realm of bigger dreams. When we begin to stretch ourselves by doing the things we can do to shift into a higher level of experience, then new potentials move within reach and things begin to change in exciting ways.

It’s also essential to trust that things happen for a higher reason, and to give thanks for all of our experiences. For example, when things don’t work out in one relationship, we are wise to assume that we’re meant for something better.

Once we get ourselves into a state where we feel fabulous about ourselves and all we have to offer a new lover, are totally trusting that everything happens for a good reason, and can think about love and feel buoyed by a rich sense of joy and possibility, that’s when magic happens. When we’re in this very high vibration, heaven and earth move to answer our prayers for true and lasting fulfillment.

Once you’ve prepared yourself by healing old wounds, putting your life in order, and getting into a high vibration, you just need to clearly tell the Universe what you’re looking for and remain open to doing things differently this time. This may mean that you take a different approach than you’ve ever taken before, or that you open up to dating a different type of guy than you would normally be attracted to. The point is to expand your potential, and to do that, you’ll have to open up to a broader range of possibilities.

After you tell the Universe what you want, happily embrace whatever comes your way as either the solution or a stepping stone to where you want to go. The more you can love whatever comes your way with faith that it is leading you to what you really want, the faster you’ll flow toward fulfillment, and the more fun you’ll have along the way.

Finally, we get what we give in life, so wherever you are and whomever you’re with, embody LOVE. If you give the love and affection you are hoping to get to others, big love will flow back to you.

– Soul Arcanum

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Dealing with Social Predators in a Spiritual Way

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Karma, Law of Attraction, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Dealing with Social Predators in a Spiritual Way

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My nanny of almost three years has just left and I found out that she has been stealing money from me the whole time. Just before she left she emptied my wallet, stole all my travel money and also my staff’s wages. I’m now also hearing stories of how cruel and domineering she was to my child. She came to me when my baby was two months old. I’m a single mum with no family around, and was in such a state that she was a godsend. She instantly became part of my little family. I trusted her so much that I was in complete denial and refused to believe she could be stealing even though my money seemed to be running through my fingers. In front of me she was good with my child and when my daughter didn’t want to be with her I thought it was only because she wanted to be with me. I feel so betrayed by her. I’m on a mission to be the best person I can be, and it seems like people take advantage of me and see my kindness as a weakness. My nature is to trust and I was brought up to be polite. I even gave the woman a letter of reference, and now she can go do the same to someone else! She’s certainly not the first person to pull the wool over my eyes. How do kind, sensitive people guard themselves against social predators like this? What is an appropriate spiritual way to react towards her? I have to prevent myself from visualizing her meeting a grizzly end! Your spiritual guidance is much appreciated.
Suz

Dear Suz:

You’re wise to seek a spiritual way to deal with all of this, for how you respond to this experience will greatly affect your life. If you can make peace with it and learn from it, you’ll move on to a higher level of experience; if you let it get the best of you, you’ll repeat this pattern time after time until you’ve transcended it.

In this scenario, you’re like a peaceful, gentle gazelle happily grazing in a sunny meadow. You’re living in a world that is full of all sorts of other creatures, however, like jelly fish, hornets, crocodiles and lions. If you think about all the different creatures in the world and how different even individual creatures of the same species can be from each other, it’s clear that life on Earth is rich with all sorts of colorful potentials.

If you now imagine that there are as many different sorts of people in the world as there are different types of creatures, I think you’ll quickly grasp my point: we’re all different, and we all act according to our own nature.

Where spiritual types like you are like gentle gazelles, the social predators you refer to are more like lions than lambs. They’re not evil – they’re just driven by their own needs and appetites, and doing what they believe they have to do in order to survive. If you expect everyone to behave like gazelles do, you’ll be shocked and disturbed time and time again.

Fortunately, we non-predators have been blessed with special survival instincts. If you visualize a deer grazing in a field, you’ll note that even though it can seem perfectly peaceful, it’s always alert. If it catches the scent of danger or sees something moving in the bushes, it’s ever ready to leap toward safety.

Like deer with sensitive survival instincts, highly spiritual people have very keen intuition. It’s hard to imagine a deer ignoring signs of danger, but many of us ignore our intuition all too often. We get a whiff that something isn’t right, but we talk ourselves out of listening and try to put the thought out of our minds. This effectively silences our intuition, and the more we do it, the harder it becomes to hear our inner voice.

There are lots of reasons we do this. For one, when we ponder big ideas and higher spiritual principles, we focus beyond the world of money and other practical needs. When we go through periods of deep spiritual contemplation, it’s easy to move into a dream world in our heads even though our bodies are still living in the physical.

We’re also at a tricky point where we identify more and more with our higher selves, yet we’re not totally free of the lower vibrations that could make us vulnerable to undesirable experiences. For example, we may be full of faith and trust, but if there is karma to be resolved with someone or some buried wound, fear or issue at work in our subconscious mind, we can still attract the sort of experience you describe. You say this woman was not the first person to pull the wool over your eyes. No doubt when this happened in the past, you didn’t fully resolve the feelings involved. This pattern will keep coming up for you until you do, for if you have fear or resistance to something, it will come to you if you’re not consciously manifesting something else.

We also argue with our intuition because we have been socialized to be nice to such a degree that we can’t allow ourselves to have suspicious thoughts about others even if they’re obviously true.

I’m not saying that this experience was your fault. In fact, I think it’s important that you allow yourself to feel angry. You have every reason to be enraged, and telling yourself that you should feel more spiritual about the whole thing will just keep that anger buried. Once you’ve grown tired of feeling angry, however, you can begin to make peace with all of this by accepting the following three truths:

First: Nothing can truly harm you, for you are so much more than this experience and even this lifetime, and you get infinite chances to fulfill your dreams. When you experience a major drama like this, you can be sure you’re learning something, so despite surface appearances, all is well.

Second: None of this is personal. People act according to their own natures and desires. If you don’t pay attention and consciously create what you want in your life, you may become the vulnerable, daydreaming gazelle at the back of the herd.

Third: You have divine gifts and powers that can help you. Spiritual people generally have keener intuition and a clearer connection with spiritual guidance than most. If you pay attention to your intuition, it will keep you on track with what you desire.

In addition to your intuition, your spirituality will empower you to consciously manifest what you want in your life. The good news here is that it will be relatively easy for you to financially recover and move on from this experience to something much better. To do this, however, you have to consciously work with the law of attraction.

Sometimes we are taken unawares, and then we look back and realize there were signs that we ignored. As we rush through life making countless decisions each day, we all manifest many things unconsciously. This is because in addition to all our conscious thoughts, feelings and desires, we have all sorts of subconscious influences contributing to the mix, such as buried beliefs, emotional wounds, old karma, etc.

The more we remain conscious of our own energy/vibration and what’s happening beneath the surface of our awareness, the more power we’ll have to manifest what we want. In addition, when we pay attention to our intuition and purposefully work with it to attract the sorts of people and experiences we desire, life just gets better and better.

To make peace with this experience, you must accept that not everyone in the world is like you, and that this is ultimately a good thing. If you view it from the right angle, this situation can become a springboard to a higher level of experience. I recommend you let it to motivate you to make better use of your spiritual gifts, and then focus your divine creative energy on manifesting new blessings.

– Soul Arcanum

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Shifting into a Higher Level of Fulfillment in Love

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Karma, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Shifting into a Higher Level of Fulfillment in Love

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
Dear Soul Arcanum:

My name is Anne. Glenn is a man that I have been involved with on and off for the last two and a half years. Our relationship has been very stormy and painful for me. When I learned that I had breast cancer in March of 2006, he suddenly moved away. Basically he was running away from my pain. I went through treatment and am now fine. In February he called me and we talked for the first time in almost a year. In March, he came out for business and we saw each other. We ended up being intimate, which kicked up my attachment again. Our relationship revolved around sex. I wanted a lot more and I felt emotionally starved, yet I couldn’t walk away. I was in denial of the truth – that he wanted me on his own terms, and he couldn’t get too close. I always feel that I somehow want to make it right between us, but I don’t even know what that means. I don’t know how to let go. He has such a strong hold on my heart. He is a great artist and has a powerful shamanic side. I am so attracted to that part of him and the sexual connection is so powerful that I find it wrenching to end all contact, yet I feel that’s the only way to move on and hopefully find a true soul mate. Do you have any advice for me on this painful situation? Many blessings to you! – Anne

Dear Anne:

I chose your question because your struggle is such a common one. I frequently hear from women who are suffering from unrequited love, who can’t seem to get over a certain relationship, or who feel miserably, karmically bound to someone and can’t break free no matter what they do. It can happen to a man, but it’s not nearly as common.

There is a very powerful biological reason that women and men generally approach sex and romantic commitment very differently. It’s not just because they were raised in cultures that taught them to be different – those cultural norms arose from biological realities. The fact is that women have far more at stake in sexual relations than men do: if they get pregnant, they take on the greatest challenge and responsibility I can imagine – that of caring for a new life.

This may also be why women’s bodies respond differently to the sex act than men’s do. Whether a woman is in love with her partner or has just met him at a bar, during orgasm, hormones will flood her body that make her feel like she is falling in love. This doesn’t happen with men, so when it comes to having sex, women have far more at stake on all levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. It is thus wise for women to wait until they know a man well and have established that they want the same things in a relationship before getting physically intimate.

On a metaphysical level, our auras reflect what is happening in our bodies. Just as having sex with someone will cause a flood of physical changes, we create energetic ties to that person in our auras. The more we feed those cords of connection through further contact and thinking of that person with love, longing, or other strong emotions, the stronger those cords get.

When women experience a surge of hormones that makes them feel like they’re falling in love after sex, they begin to feed those cords mental and emotional energy, which in turn causes another flood of those hormones, for what we experience in our minds affects our bodies. This creates a cyclic loop that can lead to a state of obsession. Because the hormones involved are so pleasurable, it’s like being addicted to something like cocaine. Since men generally aren’t experiencing anything like this, it’s easier for them to break things off or move on.

On a spiritual level, many people find lovers who are somewhat hard to get extra appealing, and most of the time, it’s because they have some self-esteem issues they are in the process of working out. Part of developing self-love and wisdom involves recognizing that just because someone doesn’t seem to want us as much as we want them, that doesn’t mean that they are better than we are. These sorts of relationship experiences generally lead us through some deep pain, but on the other side, we end up affirming our worthiness of something better.

Whenever someone continues to go back for more from a relationship where their partner repeatedly fails to consider their needs, betrays them, abandons them in a time of need, or makes them feel they’re not important to them, you can be sure there are self-esteem issues involved.

Often when we are in relationship to someone who has better self-esteem than we do – someone who allows himself to want what he wants and live as he chooses – we are attracted not so much to who he is as a person, but to his self-esteem. We want to feel good enough about ourselves to honor our true needs and desires as he does.

We’re also strongly attracted to people who are living dreams we want to live ourselves. It sounds to me like you would like to be an artist and a shaman, and would like to feel less needy in relationships, just like Glenn. THOSE are the things you’re really in lust with, my friend!

These sorts of relationships don’t come into our lives to fulfill our desire for a perfect partner, but to help us realize our own potential. This happens in an organic way because we are naturally attracted to people who embody what we are longing to become or are in the process of working on.

My advice is to let go of needing this to be more than it wants to be, and take the best of what it has to offer you. In this case, I feel that means allowing this relationship to illuminate your own needs and desires, and how you might begin to honor those better. It will really help if you replace all the exciting feelings you have about Glenn with other things that turn you on, so get involved in your own art, in exploring shamanism, or some other personal passion.

If you want a partner who is passionately into you, let yourself have that instead of trying to be happy with a man who doesn’t want what you want and isn’t willing to compromise on his desires. Once you’ve learned whatever this relationship has to teach you, you will have awakened new potential in this area of your life, and will naturally attract a relationship experience that is better suited to you. You may then begin to work on some other life lesson, and be able to enjoy a healthy, loving relationship with a man while you do so.

Basically, once you love YOURSELF the way you want to be loved, you will attract a partner who loves and honors your true desires and feelings similarly. Just focus on how you want to feel about yourself and your love life, and allow whoever is the best match to your desires to flow into your life and your heart.

I do understand your desire to make things right. I always want everyone to be happy and at peace with me too, but we can’t control how other people feel. All we can do is be lovingly honest about how we feel and what we need to do to take good care of ourselves, while at the same time making it clear that we honor the other person’s need to do the same. Even if others don’t share our feelings or our preferences for the way things turn out, we’ll be at peace, for we’ll know we’ve done all we could do given the divine truth we found in our own hearts.

– Soul Arcanum

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Others Get What She’s Trying to Manifest

Filed Under: Law of Attraction, Manifesting by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Others Get What She’s Trying to Manifest

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
Dear Soul Arcanum:

It seems like as soon as I decide to manifest something, someone else I know gets it! For example, I’ve been divorced for eight years now, and I really want to fall in love again. People are falling in love all around me (including my ex, who just got engaged!), but not me. Also, I’m forever worried about just paying my rent, while other people are spending money on all sorts of luxuries. It’s making me really frustrated and jealous! Are these people getting what I am trying to manifest because they are near me? Are some people just better at manifesting than others? I seem to have some kind of block, for it seems like I never get what I want, but everyone else gets what I want and then some. What’s going on? – Amy

Dear Amy:

One logical reason you might see other people enjoying the things you’ve been trying to manifest is simply because you are focused on those things, so you notice them whenever they come up. At the same time, however, your jealousy speaks volumes about the probable roots of your manifesting frustration, for if you begrudge someone else something, you will indeed keep yourself from similar blessings.

People basically react in one of two ways when they hear about others’ good fortune: they either feel jealous, like it’s not fair that someone else has what they want and they don’t, or they feel encouraged, because if other people can manifest those things, that means they probably can too.

Our habitual reaction to others’ happiness greatly impacts our ability to manifest what we want in our lives. If we smile upon others’ blessings, we will tend to be great at manifesting for a couple of reasons: First, what we send out to the Universe (including what we wish for other people) is what we get back. Second, how we FEEL when we focus on what we desire determines our power to attract it.

You see, what we think and feel on a regular basis is what we are practicing to experience in the future. If we focus on money with a happy feeling, we metaphysically align with happy prosperity. If we focus on money with a feeling of jealousy or frustration, it will be hard to manifest what we want, and even if we do, we’ll still feel dissatisfied.

Many of us learn our habitual response from the family we grew up in, but what’s more important is who we are on a soul level. We’re all born with various strengths and weaknesses based on our past life experiences. As a result, some people seem to have an innate understanding of the law of attraction, for they’ve mastered this in other lives. These spiritually evolved folks also tend to have a high vibration, so it’s easy for them to create what they want.

Since what we wish for others is what we get ourselves, one of the most powerful things we can do to initiate a manifesting breakthrough is to wish everyone else the fulfillment we desire. For folks who already feel like life is unfair to them, this can be really challenging, but that also means that overcoming that challenge will make a really big difference.

For example, if you can’t seem to find true love no matter what you do, ask yourself how you feel around people who are in love. Do you feel annoyed or jealous because they have what you want? If so, try to shift your perspective, and instead of feeling jealous, look at that love around you as a sign that you are in the process of manifesting love yourself.

It may be in someone else’s experience now, but if it’s close enough for you to notice it, it must be moving into your world! Further, instead of feeling resentful because your ex has manifested happiness in love again, take it as evidence that you can do the same thing. You can apply this line of reasoning to every sort of situation in which someone else is manifesting something you want.

In addition to viewing these developments as positive signs, you’ll want to evaluate what you are sending out to the Universe in the form of what you wish for other people. In particular, look for any relationships or situations where you begrudge someone else some blessing.

For example, if thinking about how your ex-husband is engaged leaves you feeling jealous, you are begrudging him new love. This won’t dent his happiness, but it will keep you from creating the same. (It may help to know that he wouldn’t object to you falling in love again – otherwise, he could never have manifested that blessing himself.)

To evaluate your power as a conscious creator of prosperity, you might ask yourself a couple of key questions: When you want more money, do you focus first on how you might earn more, or on how you wish someone (like your ex-husband) would give you more of theirs? Do you give to others in kind, or are you something of a taker? Are you conscientious about paying your bills on time?

Visualizing lots of money won’t do you much good if at the same time you aren’t giving to others what you want to receive yourself. So if you don’t pay your debts in full and on time, you are depriving others (whether it’s a person or a business doesn’t matter) of their due.

I once knew a woman who was always struggling financially, and because she had so much fear about money, she did all sorts of things that kept her in lack. For example, she’s the sort of person who would buy a fancy dress, tuck the tags inside, wear it to a party and then try to return the dress to the store.

In fact, she often experienced buyer’s remorse, and would get in arguments with store clerks when she tried to return merchandise that the store couldn’t resell because she’d used it. She seemed to believe that the store owed her something simply for being more successful than she was. She doesn’t understand that whenever we try to get back more than we put in, we eventually end up with the short end of the deal.

To break through this sort of block, all we have to do is practice the golden rule. In her case, she’d have to treat the store as she’d want to be treated if she were the owner.

Also, when we do the wrong thing to someone else to fulfill our own desires, we just end up hurting ourselves. This is more than karma, for we start to feel bad about ourselves, and on a deep (perhaps unconscious) level, we may believe we don’t deserve the happiness we long for or expect to be punished in some way.

By contrast, when we stretch ourselves to do the right thing by others even though we’re afraid for ourselves, we set ourselves up for success, and end up believing that we deserve the best from life. If instead of hoping others will give us more than we give them, we are generous and try to give more than we receive, do more than we are paid to do, show others more courtesy and respect than they show us, and love even more than we are loved, we’ll naturally manifest an abundance of blessings.

So to turn things around, I recommend you just start giving to others what you desire for yourself. As the world’s happiest, most successful people have discovered, the key to success is not getting others to give us what we want, but rather, helping other people get what they want. If you shift your approach, I’m sure you’ll turn your manifesting results around too.

– Soul Arcanum

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Anger, Betrayal and Spirituality

Filed Under: Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Anger, Betrayal and Spirituality

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I thought I had attained a certain degree of spiritual awareness, but lately I find myself feeling very unevolved. Instead of feeling kind, patient and compassionate, I feel like everything upsets me these days. In particular, people are so disappointing! Every time I turn around I feel like someone I love and trust is betraying me or disappointing me by acting selfish or dishonest, and it makes me really angry because I would never behave like that. How in the world do I keep manifesting this? One upset after another has left me really dispirited. I used to be spiritual and loving all the time – do you think I’m regressing?
– A.

Dear A.: You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. One of the hardest things for me to make peace with is being disappointed by people I love and want to believe in. When someone I really care about does something selfish or hurtful, or keeps lying even though I’m begging them to be honest with me, I can go into a major tailspin myself.

Here’s why so-called spiritual folks struggle with this issue so much: The more we try to embody our spiritual natures, the less we act from our egos. This means at some point, we do become quite different from most people. Where most live from their egos with occasional flashes of divine wisdom and compassion, someone who has long been devoted to spiritual growth tends be centered in their higher self with occasional fits of ego.

If we strive to be extraordinary people but assume the rest of the world will be just like us, we will naturally get discouraged. Life is a journey of spiritual growth, and none of us are enlightened yet. If we expect people to act like wise, compassionate sages, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment.

It helps me to remember that even the most spiritual beings to ever walk the planet had to deal with the same sort of disappointment. The story of Jesus offers us a great example, for He was betrayed by one of his closest friends (Judas), who sold Him out for cash! Then at the hour of His greatest need, the other apostles all abandoned Him. I figure if Jesus can be betrayed like this, none of us are immune.

It’s also quite normal for life to begin throwing us curve balls if we’ve been batting a thousand for a while. This means if we’ve got a nice, smooth vibe going, inevitably something will happen that stretches our capacity for patience and tolerance. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t learn and grow anymore.

It’s like mastering algebra and then moving on to geometry and feeling lost again. If we stayed in algebra forever, life would seem pretty easy, but it would also get boring and we’d never learn anything new. Whether we like it or not, we can’t keep repeating the same lessons over and over again – we have to move on.

One of the first things you need to realize is that it is not “unspiritual” to get angry. I think being spiritual is simply the habit of self-examination combined with the sincere desire to be a good person. The harder you are on yourself about feeling angry, the more likely you will be to deny or repress your feelings, which is the source of all sorts of problems. What you’re working on at this point in your spiritual journey is making peace with your shadow nature.

If you try to never get angry in the first place, you’ll run up against some powerful biology. Whenever we feel threatened emotionally, our bodies respond as they do when we feel threatened physically. We are WIRED to get angry when something threatens our happiness, and it can take days for the adrenaline that was released when we got angry to go back to normal levels. I find this interesting because it’s hard to stay angry for more than a few days – eventually, we let it go.

Most people are denying, avoiding or repressing all sorts of negative emotions. This is why millions of people are taking anti-depressants, and why so many are addicted to things like drugs, alcohol, food, etc. They’re all trying to avoid emotional pain.

When we work to become more conscious of what’s happening within us, it can seem like we’re suddenly flooded with intense negative feelings. (After all, we generally don’t repress positive emotions). It’s therefore common for negative emotions to bubble over when we’re moving into a new level of conscious awareness or a new level of personal healing, and it may indeed seem like we’re regressing at that point.

One of the greatest pay-offs of spiritual growth is the freedom to choose how we will respond to our experience. When we allow others to upset or anger us, we give our power away. When we center ourselves i n our own divine power within, we can choose how we feel regardless of what is happening in our outer experience. So as spiritual seekers, our goal is not to be rid of anger but to consciously choose what we do with that energy. We must learn how to transmute it into something higher like positive change, new wisdom and understanding, or a greater capacity for forgiveness and unconditional love.

While it’s healthy to acknowledge and process our feelings, I’m not a big fan of primal scream therapy or similar ideas, because when we practice anger, we just get better at it. When we send rage out to the Universe, we get rage back. While it’s healthier to let our anger out than to stuff it down, it’s even better to work with that energy consciously and let it fuel positive change. Properly channeled, anger can be transmuted into powerful motivation and creativity.

What works best for me is to simply cultivate what I want instead of anger. So when I’m feeling angry, I might read a spiritual book, take a walk in nature or do some yoga. Other great tools for transmuting anger into new power and healing include vigorous exercise, art therapy, hypnotherapy, meditation, energy healing, spiritual counseling, and the use of divination tools like runes and tarot to sort out the deeper spiritual truths in upsetting situations.

In terms of the law of attraction, the only way to break free of a cycle of upset and disappointment is to choose to stop getting upset over things that would normally upset you. If you truly believe yourself to be a good person who deserves to be treated better than you’re being treated, you have to begin to treat yourself better first. By allowing people who don’t share your values to disrupt your happiness, you aren’t treating yourself well, and when you don’t treat yourself very well, your vibration drops and other people begin to treat you badly too.

To manifest more uplifting relationships, you have to stop allowing anyone to bring you down. You have to be your own best friend – not the friend who is always late, forgets your birthday, and never really listens to you – the best friend you would LIKE to have.

As you do this, you will begin to meet new people. This is no accident. When you become happier, you attract people of a higher vibration. If you begin to love yourself well by choosing to be happy, one of two things will happen: everyone who doesn’t or can’t love you similarly will fade out of your experience, or you’ll bring out something better in the folks who remain.

– Soul Arcanum

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