Tag Archive: jealousy


Psychic is Plagued by Jealousy

Filed Under: Psychic Ability, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Psychic is Plagued by Jealousy

 

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am highly psychic and can often tell what other people are feeling or going through. Most of the time this is a good thing, but lately, I fear it’s going to ruin the otherwise wonderful relationship I have with my fiance. The trouble is that I can tell when he is attracted to another woman, which happens frequently. When I tell him that I can tell when he is checking someone out even when he tries to hide it (and he’s really good at hiding it), he usually lies about it. I can then tell that he’s lying, and at that point, we usually get into a big fight. I’m starting to wonder if I should marry him or not, for he is attracted to other women and dishonest about it, and both of those things are driving me crazy. I would love to hear your spiritual advice on this one!

Brooke

Dear Brooke:

I know just what you’re talking about, for I can sense when my husband is attracted to another woman as well as how it feels to have him lie to me about it. We’re pretty much at peace with this issue these days, so hopefully, my own journey will prove helpful to you.

First, you’re probably right in your intuitions that he is indeed attracted to other women, for our instincts are particularly sharp when it comes to protecting our “territory.” Further, if he wasn’t interested in beautiful women, he wouldn’t be in a relationship with you to begin with. People who love to garden don’t admire just one kind of flower; if they have an eye for beauty, they look for and see the beauty in all of nature. They may have a favorite kind of flower, of course, but just as we couldn’t expect a rose gardener to stop finding tulips and daisies delightful, we can’t expect a person to stop finding other people beautiful just because they’re in a committed relationship.

Speaking of that commitment, it would be easy to be faithful if we never found anyone but our partner attractive. What makes commitment so meaningful is the fact that we do find other people attractive but we choose to refrain from acting on those feelings in order to focus our time and attention on the person we’ve decided to put first in our lives. So making a commitment is not about losing attraction for everyone else; we just choose to resist those fleeting desires in order to safeguard something we deem to be more important.

If you want to be a happy psychic, you’re going to have to find a way to raise your vibration in order to see the divine beauty and perfection in everyone you meet, for you’re going to see all the “unacceptable” stuff we’ve been conditioned to hide from others’ view.

This brings me to my key point, which is that we can’t help how we feel. Your fiance lies to you when you confront him about checking out other women because he feels attacked, and also because he doesn’t want you to feel slighted. Since your fiance can’t help how he feels any more than you can stop feeling jealous, what can you do?

First, it’s important that you don’t repress your feelings, for then you will start to act in “crazy” ways and things will just get more confusing. We’ve all been down this road before, where we try to repress or deny our anger only to totally lose our temper over something insignificant. Repressing our feelings doesn’t get rid of them; it just lets them fester and slowly poison us from the inside out. Further, if you decide to try to hide how you are feeling, you will tend to pull back while you process, and may even try to love him less in order to protect your heart. This is not the answer if you want a vibrant, fulfilling relationship.

The key to a warm, intimate bond is for both of you to feel free to feel how you feel and let your feelings show. This will also naturally lead to personal growth and healing. To feel connected to each other, you must feel safe to gently express how you feel and he must feel the same. This doesn’t mean he has “made” you feel as you do; in fact, it’s important for you to tell him that you don’t expect him to make you feel better and that this is your own issue – you just need to express how you’re feeling in order to feel close to him. If you can lovingly tell him that you know you are feeling this way because he is so important to you, all the better.

When we stop trying to blame one person for being wrong, relationship dynamics get much lighter. We have gotten to the point in my marriage where I can indicate that I’m feeling jealous in a light and playful way because I know it’s my own issue. When I take this approach, my husband wisely chooses to see this as a sign that I really care and usually responds by reassuring me that he would never want to lose me either.

Instead of viewing jealousy as a sign of trouble in an otherwise wonderful relationship, we’re wise to stop when we feel insecure and look at our upset as a sign pointing toward some fear or issue we are being personally called to work on. When we feel jealous, it’s because we’re afraid of losing our position in someone’s heart; we’re afraid they will find someone they like better than us, and we will be alone or things will change for the worse.

Here’s the deal: everything changes, so resisting change is a recipe for suffering. Further, nothing lasts forever except for true love. Only when we make peace with this truth are we able to really love and build a deep connection on a soul level, for we can’t mandate that someone love us as we want to be loved, and when we try, we usually just destroy whatever love was there to begin with.

It is wise and empowering to trust that whatever happens, all is well. If we stay together for the rest of our lives, that is good; if we don’t stay together for the rest of our lives, that must also be good, for everything happens for a good reason. Getting past fear by finding faith in this truth empowers us to love from love instead of from fear, and then our relationships become blessed and harmonious.

So to truly love another person, we can’t come from fear and a sense of needing them. As nothing lasts forever, we’re wise to give thanks for the love and blessings in our lives today and make the most of them. This approach tends to keep relationships warm and growing. When we cling to someone out of fear, we become like a parasite, strangling the relationship. This is what happens when someone is constantly jealous and angry: instead of drawing others close, they drive them away because they aren’t coming from love but from fear and self-concern.

Instead of trying to ferret out and forbid your fiance’s attraction for everyone but you, I recommend you make peace with your jealousy as well as your fiance’s natural attraction to the beauty around him, whether that beauty is in a sunset, a flower or another woman’s figure. To expect him to be open to your beauty but closed to the beauty in every other female is unreasonable. When people demand this of their partners, they may get it, but at the expense of their partner’s attraction to them as well, for the partner closes down and stops looking for beauty in general because he has been conditioned to associate feelings of attraction with being punished.

When someone beautiful comes along, you can let your own beauty shine through by admiring them too. Look for the beauty in what your fiance finds attractive and try to appreciate it. Above all, remain thankful for the fact that even though your partner may find other people beautiful, he is choosing to just watch them pass by while he makes a life with you.

– Soul Arcanum

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When Your Best Friends are Energy Vampires

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Intuitive Development, Psychic Protection, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on When Your Best Friends are Energy Vampires

 

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I don’t have many friends, for I choose them carefully. At the moment, I have two women in my life who could be described as psychic vampires. One is an internationally respected healer/teacher. My intuition is growing more and more refined, and I was shocked when the manipulative, calculating, dishonest energy I was picking up about this healer was confirmed. I realized I had given my power away by putting her on a pedestal and making less of my own gifts. She tried to discredit the healer I currently see, and suggested one of her students start treating me while she supervised my case. I’ve decided to keep my distance from her and not leave my current healer, who has helped me tremendously. This is clearly a case of professional jealousy. The other friend is also very spiritual. I feel she’s a little jealous of me, and sees me as somehow better off than her in many ways. It’s like she thinks I have some secret to the universe and wants a piece of it. Why am I attracting these energy vampires? I don’t have that many friends, and at this rate, they are dropping like flies! Thanks, Soul Arcanum!

Sitara

Dear Sitara:

I’m not sure the friends you’re describing are really energy vampires. Energy vampires are people who can’t get all their energy needs met directly from Source, so they try to feed on other people’s energy. To determine if these friends are truly stealing your energy, ask yourself how you feel when you’ve been around them for a while.

Do you feel energized and uplifted or down and drained? Do you feel like there is balance in your relationship in terms of give and take, or does your friend talk endlessly about herself? Are you doing all the giving? Do you find yourself constantly feeling like you should do something to help or save her? Does she make you feel better about yourself, or does she put you down or compete with you in order to feel superior?

If none of these really fit, odds are good that you’re not dealing with energy vampires so much as you are ordinary people with egos and human weaknesses and faults, just like the rest of us.

People who are highly spiritual like we are tend to be very idealistic. We want to believe in people, see the best in them and love them with all our hearts. It can be very disillusioning when we meet someone who seems to be everything we’ve ever wanted in a friend, and they turn out to be a mere mortal instead of the demi-god we’ve been worshiping.

There are a couple of dynamics worth mentioning here, given the relationships you describe. First, the more we tap into our own personal power, the more we evoke deep issues in other people. If there are buried issues that need to be brought to light and healed in our friends, then our dynamic energy will tend to bring those issues to life in some way. This is especially true if we’re devoted healers and counselors. In personal relationships, the interactions may not be overt; instead, they tend to come out in subtle ways through the ever changing dynamics of our connection. We thus spark things for the people around us without knowing that we are doing so simply because our main intention is to help others heal and grow.

Also, as we develop intuitively, we begin to psychically pick up on all sorts of stuff that people tend to hide. Nearly everyone hides their shadow side, so it can be shocking to sense these hidden truths, and difficult to make peace with living at this level of awareness. Everything is naturally perfect, of course, for once we attain this level of awareness, we’re ready for the deep lessons in unconditional love that psychic awareness evokes.

Your spiritual teacher friend is clearly insecure about her wisdom and abilities. The wisest and best teachers always are, by the way, for they constantly question themselves. Having you see someone else for healing and that person apparently being able to truly help you has brought her insecurities up. While her behavior is disappointing, we must strive not to take anything personally, and simply be the best person we can be with everyone we know and love. As I see it, if a friend disappoints us, our job is to reach for a higher, more loving road in order to nurture good things in that relationship. Maybe right now, this relationship is not about her meeting your friendship needs, but about you giving her something important such as an opportunity to work on her ego issues, learn a lesson, or observe you setting a shining example of love and wisdom.

I like what you wrote about putting her on a pedestal and discounting your own wisdom and abilities. I think instead of expecting her to be the spiritual leader in your relationship, you should step forward and reach for a higher level of love and wisdom yourself regardless of what she says or does. Then you can become a source of healing both for her and your relationship. You might do this by recognizing with compassion that her ego is kicking up, and she perhaps is worried that she is not good enough or that she will lose your friendship or respect and admiration via your experiences with this other healer.

Similarly, instead of viewing your other friend as someone who is trying to steal something from you, it would be wise to stay in a very high vibration and view her admiration as a positive thing. The more we align with a high level of life experience by working with the law of attraction and cultivating a high vibration, the more we attract people who want this for themselves like moths to a flame. Sometimes these people do want to suck our energy, but sometimes they just think we’re wonderful, and they want to study us so they can emulate us.

The higher we go in terms of quality of experience and vibration, the harder it is to find peers. Then instead of journeying through life with all our classmates, we naturally become teachers. In a typical schoolroom setup, there are way more students than teachers, and it’s the same on our spiritual journeys. As you evolve, you will be surrounded by more people who are in position to learn from you, and you’ll only know a few other teachers, who will often be off in their own classrooms, doing their thing.

You’re wise to ask how and why you are attracting friends like this, but it’s more important to figure out how you can manifest a higher level of experience. I’ve had great results with working with the law of attraction to manifest good friends. For example, years ago I told the Universe very clearly and with all of my heart that I wanted to meet a friend who was <q>just like me.</q> I ended up meeting a friend in a most unusual way who practically IS me! The ways we are alike are astounding. This experience taught me that we all have many kindred spirits in the world, and we just need to work with the law of attraction to draw them into our experience.

In summary, I encourage you to stop expecting your friends to be free of faults. Our goal is not to find perfect people, but to learn how to love everyone around us despite their imperfections. We all have our issues and everyone is doing spiritual battle with their egos every day. Do keep choosing your friends carefully, and when they disappoint you, examine your experiences for how you can use them to work on yourself and become an ever brighter light wherever you go. Also, remember that we have the power to manifest what we want in our lives, and we can use the law of attraction to both bring out the best in people and draw wonderful new friends into our lives.

Soul Arcanum

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The Evil Eye and Auric Interactions

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Energy/Vibration, Psychic Protection by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on The Evil Eye and Auric Interactions

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My family has all sorts of superstitions that I’ve always thought were crazy. At the same time, however, part of me has always wondered if maybe there is something to them. For example, my grandmother was forever blaming all sorts of problems on what she called the “evil eye.” (I could tell you lots of wild stories!) Anyway, do you think the evil eye is real? Is it possible to harm another person on some level just by looking at them?
– Effie

Dear Effie:

The evil eye is a common superstition in Arab and European countries, especially around the area of the Mediterranean. However, the understanding that ill will can be communicated via a look is universal. Let’s deal with the superstition first.

The basic idea behind the evil eye is that one person can curse another person by simply envying them. Most people believe that this harm is not intentional. It seems to arise from the idea that in drawing attention to someone’s blessing, God may realize He’s made a mistake or that things aren’t “fair” somehow, and take that blessing away.

From a metaphysical perspective, there is of course no need for us to hide our blessings for fear they will be taken away from us, and in fact, that sort of fear is counter-productive. Most of us can appreciate the psychological issues behind such superstitions, however, for we’ve all been the uncomfortable objects of envy. If someone who couldn’t have a child praised my beautiful baby, I would naturally feel sorry for her and empathize by imagining myself in her place. If we are in any way doubtful of our worthiness of such a blessing, it’s natural to think we’d better hide our good fortune lest someone take it away.

Perhaps this sort of thinking arises in childhood, when parents strive to be fair to siblings. If one sibling has something like a new toy or candy, he may be made to share it with his brothers and sisters. Also, children often find things they treasure but should not have, and when their parents find out, they take those things away. To protect their treasures, children often learn to hide them.

We must also remember that folklore arises to answer questions to which there are no other answers available. For example, babies and small children tend to get sick a lot. Back when there was no medical explanation for most illnesses, people looked to supernatural causes because they were desperate to be able to do something to save their children from harm.

There are all sorts of strange rituals, charms and so-called cures for the evil eye, which you can research elsewhere if you’re interested. I do think it’s interesting to note that these remedies reveal a basic awareness of the fact that our auras can be affected by others’ energy. When we believe we are protected, our vibration is high, and for this reason alone, using a charm or ritual could protect us. Further, charms for protection are often mirrored surfaces or look like eyes, as they are designed to reflect and return the energy in the sender’s gaze. This suggests basic understanding of karma, and how it is wiser to “turn the other cheek” than to go on the offensive. Other remedies for the evil eye involve auric cleansing techniques. For example, in some places children are smudged with smoke when they return from being in public.

As for whether or not there is any spiritual basis for these superstitions, we all know that looks can be unsettling and unnerving. While some looks obviously contain some sort of threat, most of us don’t like to be stared at, and some looks really give us the creeps. The common saying, “if looks could kill” suggests we are aware of the malevolent quality of some looks, and grateful that they can only affect us on a non-physical level.

Most women are familiar with the energetic feeling of being “checked out” or leered at by a man. One of the first auric interactions I ever witnessed clairvoyantly involved such a situation. I was picking up a friend who lived in a college co-op. She hadn’t eaten dinner yet, so I agreed to wait while she grabbed a quick meal with her housemates. I was sitting in the back of the dining room when I saw a young man enter. Her back was to him, and as I saw him look at her, I actually saw this red, murky energy flow out from his aura toward her. When it got close to her, all of a sudden she turned around and looked right at him with an angry look on her face.

This so surprised me that I lost my clairvoyant connection. Later I told her what I’d seen, and she was amazed by it. She then explained how that young man had been sexually harassing her for a while, and gave her the creeps!

This experience demonstrated how we sense when someone is looking at us: they actually send energy out to our auras. It also explained how we can sense things about people, like whether they are safe or dangerous, sincere or dishonest, and all sorts of other information. Regardless of what they may do or say, when we interact with other people, our auras are communicating on a deeper level.

We can send energy to someone by focusing on them mentally, but it’s more powerful to be able to focus on them visually as well. By focusing our gaze on someone with emotion, we can communicate all sorts of things from anger, threats or rejection to sincere interest, sexual attraction and love.

Further, when two or more people are together, natural spiritual law causes them to entrain to the vibration of the person with the strongest energy field. This person has the most “power” both in terms of life force and interpersonal dynamics. This does not mean that person is the most “enlightened.” If such a person has a very positive, warm vibration, others will find him attractive. If such a person has a negative or destructive vibration, people will naturally tend to fear him.

People with strong life force energy radiate that power in many ways, and one key way is through their eyes, which tend to be striking, penetrating or beautiful. It thus makes sense that when we are around someone of a lower vibration who has more powerful chi than we do, we will feel threatened by their energy, and try to avoid interacting with them in any way.

Please don’t let these ideas worry you, for we have been dealing with these auric interactions our whole lives with the help of our wonderful inner guidance systems. Our instincts make us aware of what is happening on an auric level, so all we need to do is listen to our intuition and act accordingly.

– Soul Arcanum

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