Tag Archive: highly sensitive people


Highly Sensitive People Skills

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Emotional Well-being, Intuitive Development, Psychic Ability, Psychic Protection by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Highly Sensitive People Skills


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’m hoping you can help me. I can see auras though not well. Because of this, I know that I have a clear aura. It’s physically exhausting for me to be around other people. Just being at work all day around lots of other people drains me to the point of exhaustion. This drives my husband crazy because I’m always tired. What I’ve read about auras suggests that my exhaustion has to do with my aura being clear. I thought if I tried to develop my ability to see auras better, maybe I wouldn’t be so tired all the time. I can now see auras better but this has only made me even more tired! Maybe I’m doing it wrong? It’s to the point that my main fear every day is not having time to rest. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Marie

Dear Marie:

Before I go into spiritual remedies, I must encourage you to make sure there is no physical cause for your exhaustion. Even if your doctor says you’re okay, it’s important to make sure you’re eating a very healthy diet and getting adequate rest and exercise. Please note that what most people consider a very healthy diet and what I’m talking about are two very different things. In my view, a very healthy diet is composed of whole, natural foods: vegetables, fruits and animal protein. The more processed a food is, the deader its energy will be. The typical modern diet and sedentary lifestyle is perfectly designed to cause low energy, dis-ease, and all sorts of other troublesome imbalances.

You say that you have a “clear aura.” I’m not sure what you mean by that, but I’m going to assume you mean that you have very thin psychic boundaries – that you’re not “thick-skinned.” I’m also going to assume that you’re not seeing colors in your own aura, and this is why you’re calling it clear. It can be much harder to see your own aura than to see other people’s auras because you are looking through your own aura when trying to see it. It may thus be that you are not seeing your aura at all, and this is why you’ve assumed that it is clear.

What you describe is a common syndrome associated with :highly sensitive people.” If you Google that term, you’ll find lots of interesting information. Basically, everyone who has keen intuition is highly sensitive, but some people are more affected by their sensitivity for various reasons. For example, a stereotypical Aquarius would tend to be less affected by high sensitivity than a Cancer because Cancers are much more emotional and much less philosophical than Aquarians tend to be.

Someone who has been consciously working with their psychic senses and has traveled a long ways down a conscious spiritual path will probably be much better at handling the unique challenges posed by high sensitivity. There are lots of highly sensitive people who have found ways to work with their thin skin. Every professional psychic I know falls into this category.

Unfortunately, I can’t give you a quick, simple way to conquer this problem that will prove both long-lasting and truly effective. Some people may tell you to wear certain stones or crystals or perform magickal rituals, but these measures are like bailing water out of the bottom of a boat instead of repairing the hole. You’re going to have to do some real inner work in order to get more comfortable in your thin skin.

The most important thing is to develop faith that everything happens for a good reason. This will allow you to walk through all sorts of potentially overwhelming, upsetting situations with grace and equanimity. It will allow you to maintain a calm, high vibration regardless of what is going on around you, and this high vibration will basically make you immune to other people being able to affect you.

One way to begin to develop this faith is to study near death experiences and life between life research. Near-death.com is one great resource; for the life between life research, I recommend books by Michael Newton Ph.D. The more you expose yourself to this information, the more you will come to understand that every experience blesses us in some way. This will enable you to be at peace with your own experiences (including the challenge of dealing with your high sensitivity), and it will enable you to remain serene when people around you are in turmoil.

I’m not surprised that trying to read auras better would exacerbate your problem, because what you did was become even <i>more</i> sensitive while at the same time tuning in to draw in more of others’ energy. In order to stop being affected by others, you’ll want to reverse this psychic flow. By this, I mean that instead of tuning in to others’ energy, you’ll set your own high tone and send that energy OUT.

You might begin by adopting the inner mantra, “The divine light in me greets the light in thee” or “Namaste” whenever you interact with another person. Visualize love and good wishes flowing from your heart out to them. Don’t get attached to them responding in any particular way; this is about who you are choosing to be and the energy you are choosing to send out into the world.

Don’t worry that if you send all these good vibes out, you’ll somehow run out. You’re not sending your own energy, you’re channeling divine love and light, which is endless. The more you channel this energy, the better you will feel yourself. It may be helpful for you to undertake some training in energy healing to learn how to maintain your own energetic well-being when interacting with others.

My next suggestion is for you to take up a regular meditation practice. Meditation will develop your inner observer, which will empower you to step back from whatever is happening around you and center in your own higher self. With this in mind, I’m going to offer you a mini meditation exercise that you can silently practice whenever you start to feel drained.

Take a moment to center yourself by relaxing your shoulders and taking a few big, deep breaths. Close your eyes and picture yourself sitting in an ancient Roman theater, watching a drama unfold on the stage below you. Focus in on the actors and allow yourself to get caught up in the emotions they are conveying. Notice how, as you identify with the actors, you experience those same emotions. Now pull your awareness back into your own body and remind yourself that these are actors on a stage playing out various parts. Mentally label what is happening on the stage “drama,” and then relax into the pleasure of watching it unfold. Now back up even more – lift right up out of your body and look down to observe yourself watching the performance. As you do this, you realize that you too are an actor on the stage of life. Smile at yourself and the people around you who have gotten so caught up in playing their parts that they have forgotten that life is just a big production we undertake because it’s exciting, like watching a drama on stage. You are now centered in your inner observer and should be able to observe yourself interacting with others without being thrown off of your own high vibration and spiritual center.

As you move through each day, whenever you find yourself starting to feel worn down by the events unfolding around you, remember to say “drama” to yourself, and then shift from taking in others’ energy to flowing love and compassion outward.

– Soul Arcanum

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Controlling Psychic Sensitivity

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Psychic Protection by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Controlling Psychic Sensitivity

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum: In a recent column, you advised the woman who wrote in to learn how to control her psychic sensitivity. Can you offer some specific tips or exercises on how to do so? I’m the caregiver for a disabled man who is deeply depressed, and some days I can set my own tone as you advised, but on other days, I end up feeling really down or out of sorts as soon as I cross the threshold into his house. I’ve thought about quitting this job but I figure it would be better to learn how to control my sensitivity.
Kate

Dear Kate:

I’m so glad you asked about this, for I never seem to have enough room in my column to go into as much detail as I’d like. Though most people aren’t conscious of it, this is a common issue for everyone except the most thick-skinned among us.

As anyone who nurtures others regularly will develop empathy, nurses, caregivers, counselors, etc., all tend to be empathic. This makes sense since trying to understand how other people feel exercises our empathy muscles. Further, people who are highly empathic tend to go into these fields because they feel others’ pain and want to help. (When you feel others’ feelings, it’s only natural to want others to feel great.)

I went through something like this not long ago with my teenage son. I was high on life and feeling wonderful in every way when he moved home from college because he was deeply depressed. At first I was fine, for even though I was channeling a lot of attention and energy to him, I had prepared myself and was remaining conscious of my own vibration. After he began to do better, however, I naturally relaxed.

Then one day I woke up and realized that I hadn’t felt like myself for a while. While I wasn’t depressed, I had become rather indifferent to things that usually mean a great deal to me. I pondered this for a while and could come up with no good reason why I should feel so blah when I am by nature an intense, passionate person. When I finally decided to meditate on it, I instantly realized that I wasn’t feeling like myself because I was feeling like my son!

I then remembered that I had actually asked to feel like him, though not in so many words. In order to better parent him, I kept trying to understand him. Even when he’s perfectly happy and healthy, he is by nature way more easygoing and laid back than I am, which makes it hard for me to relate to him sometimes.

When we try to understand others, we actively connect on an empathic level whether we realize it or not. I believe I do know how it feels to be my son now, for I’ve felt that way myself. As him, I don’t get worked up about anything. This means I don’t get upset or stressed but I also don’t get passionate or ambitious. Since I prefer to feel like me, I realized I had to take control of my own vibration.

We all connect empathically to others sometimes. I’m sure you’ve tried hard to understand how the man you care for feels and how difficult it must be to be in his shoes. While there are many things we can do to control our psychic sensitivity, when we lose ourselves in a relationship, usually just getting conscious of what is happening energetically will set us free. For example, as soon as I realized what was happening, I returned to feeling like myself again.

It helps to remember that the more time we spend with someone, the more likely we are to be influenced by their energy. Further, the closer we are to someone emotionally or the more we try to care for them or help them, the more likely we are to forge an empathic bond. We are therefore wise to pay attention and consciously cultivate our own vibration whenever we spend a lot of time with someone who is in any sort of distress, especially if we are trying to help them in some way.

Ideally, helpers have a higher, stronger vibration than those they help, but this isn’t a given. Further, trying to help someone who is deeply depressed can eventually weigh down even the sunniest caregiver. It’s sort of like trying to save someone who is drowning: the more hours you spend in the water with them, the harder it becomes to keep everyone afloat.

Usually the first sign that you’re losing control of your own vibration is the vague sense of not feeling like yourself. (When you don’t feel like yourself, odds are good that you are feeling like someone else.) Once you become aware that you feel different, you can usually pinpoint who you’re channeling and then take action to consciously deal with that bond in a healthier way.

Here are some things you might try:

First, consciously set your tone every morning. You can do this via meditation or some other spiritual practice like writing in a gratitude journal. The important thing is to get rooted in the positive vibration you desire.

Make your number one goal to feel good. You may or may not be able to help this man feel better, for there is only so much you can do. Remember that you feeling bad for him or others won’t help anyone, and make your first priority to stay in a high vibration yourself.

If you suddenly find your mood sinking for no apparent reason, break all empathic connections. You can do this whenever you are talking to someone or listening to something and you start to get upset. It’s especially effective when you are arguing with someone about something and they are trying to convince you to see things their way. All you have to do is set the strong intention of breaking your psychic connection with whomever or whatever is upsetting you, and then wave your hand/s vehemently in front of your torso. I usually go up and down between my heart chakra and my solar plexus chakra.

This can have a startlingly powerful effect. I’ve done it on the spot with someone who was arguing with me, and the sensation was almost physically tangible. If you fear you’ll freak someone out by doing this, you could excuse yourself (perhaps to go to the bathroom) and do it there. See all cords between you and others being snapped and wiped away. If you have no idea why a dark mood has suddenly come over you, this can still work. Just visualize that whatever or whomever is encroaching on your mood is being wiped away.

You can also shake off any unwanted energy like a dog would shake off water. Let your arms and hands and legs go crazy. It will feel really good! Blow your breath out forcefully, move however feels good to you, and imagine all those unwanted vibes flying off into the cosmos.

If someone tries to encroach on your energy after you do this, visualize yourself as a porcupine with quills of light. Send your energy outward through your spikes and then mosey contentedly on your way with confidence that you’re invulnerable.

After you break an empathic connection, consciously get centered in the vibration you desire again. See your own core essence within like a little light, and turn that light up and let it shine. See it growing from within you, glowing brighter, shining out through your skin, through your eyes, flowing out your hands. When we say that someone is glowing we mean that on some level, we perceive that they are radiating their own divine light like this. If your vibration is the strongest one in the vicinity, you will uplift the downtrodden instead of getting dragged down yourself, so let yourself shine!

– Soul Arcanum

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Empathy and Emotional Control

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Intuitive Development, Psychic Ability, Psychic Protection, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Empathy and Emotional Control

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a few years ago, and while I agree with the diagnosis, the label doesn’t quite fit me. I am fairly psychic and more so all the time. I’m clairsentient: I feel too much, care too much (though I don’t think that’s really true!), and I’m always feeling other people’s feelings. Sometimes the energy of others is so strong it can make me go nearly insane. One big facet of borderline personality is an unclear sense of self. I can’t be in a relationship because days into one I’ll have a flip and think, What the hell am I doing? I don’t like this person! and I’ll bail. Some days I see through the eyes of a poorly evolved person; other days I am lost in the glory of Spirit’s sight. It is a true gift but also a curse because I can’t fit into this human world. I don’t expect you to cure me. I know this is my fate. I just want to know if someone like me can find peace between the two worlds I inhabit, or if I will always struggle. Thanks for listening, Soul Arcanum.
Your friend wading through the unseen worlds with her pants hitched up…
Ingrid

Dear Ingrid:

It sounds like you’re a highly sensitive, empathic person. All empaths have an unclear sense of personal boundaries; this is what enables them to feel what other people are feeling.

I recommend you resist being labeled, for you are so much more than BPD or any other abstract idea. Not long ago, you would have been seen to have an impulsive, sensitive, perhaps artistic nature, but no one would have considered you mentally ill. My sense is that you are able to basically function in life, so I would take a spiritual perspective on your struggles instead of accepting a medical diagnosis like this one.

As for whether or not you will always struggle, it’s important to remember that you have the power to create what you want in your life. Much of what you’re dealing with is challenging for all human beings. We are all affected by other people’s emotional energies; some of us are just more affected than others, or are more aware that those vibes are originating outside of us.

Your relationship issues are also pretty normal. They may be a bit more dramatic for you, or perhaps you are extra self-aware and able to observe yourself in relationships and question why you do the things you do. It is important for empaths to realize that sometimes the emotional swings they experience result from shifts between their own feelings and the feelings of others. For example, if someone really likes us and feels good around us, and we tune in to their emotions, we will feel really good around them too. When we later center in our own truth, we may feel very different. So learning how to stay centered in your own emotional truth is key.

As for creating what you want in your life, it sounds to me like you are already on a path to greater spiritual growth and positive change. You are highly sensitive, self-aware, and clearly desirous of a higher level of experience. You know that you want to find a greater sense of peace, and you are manifesting answers and guidance from the Universe, such as this very article. So in my view, there is no need to feel wrong, incomplete or hopeless; things are not so bad, and they’re getting better all the time.

Ultimately, this is a matter of emotional and psychic control. When we get out of balance in terms of development, we experience struggles like those you describe. For example, when someone is centered in their lower chakras, they may work like crazy but without planning or foresight. Someone who is centered in their heads will tend to be overly rational and analytical, and out of touch with their bodies, hearts and spirits.

In your case, you seem to be at the mercy of your own and others’ emotional energy. Since it’s never wise to repress or deny your feelings, in order to create a better sense of balance, you need to bring other aspects of your being up to speed.

On a physical level, this may mean getting more grounded, strong and healthy. Since you also need to learn how to control emotional energy (your own as well as the psychic energy of others), training in a martial art like Chi Gong may prove very helpful. This will also strengthen your aura, which is your natural defense against outside psychic influences. Yoga would also help you get centered energetically and give you a way to find a calm center within whenever you start to feel frazzled or overwhelmed.

On a mental level, meditation should prove perfect for you, since you need to find a way to get calm and gain control of your emotions. By strengthening your mind, you will learn to control your impulses and also become more aware of what is yours energetically versus what is coming from other people.

On a spiritual level, I recommend learning how to control your psychic sensitivity, and developing greater faith. To control your sensitivity, you must get centered within yourself. When a sensitive person lacks a strong sense of self-awareness and self-control, they’re like a tree without a deep, strong root system: with the slightest breeze they can be blown right over. If you get grounded and centered in your own truth, self-awareness and sense of well-being, you’ll develop personal strength from within. Then no matter how the wind may blow around you, nothing will topple you.

This is all about learning how to set your own tone. This means you decide how you want to feel and you consciously cultivate that vibration from within. Basically, you are deciding who you want to be and how you want to feel, and you are consciously generating that vibration and radiating it outward instead of soaking up the energies all around you.

You can still be sensitive and helpful to others if you do this; in fact, you can be far more helpful. For example, to save someone who is drowning, you don’t want to dive into the water and start drowning yourself; you want to remain stable on the shore, throw them a lifeline, and then pull them in. When you are rooted in a high vibration, you can lift those who are struggling up to a higher state of being.

Faith is absolutely essential, for when you have faith that all is well and everything happens for a good reason, you can remain centered in your higher self even when others are going down. When your faith is sound, you can feel compassion for others without having to literally feel their pain. Some people think they are better healers or counselors if they are empathic, but I disagree: two people in pain is NOT better than one. It’s better to have one person in pain and a caring person who is feeling great who can lift the one who is hurting to higher ground.

Finally, despite what many people may tell you, I encourage you to let go of the idea that you need to be protected from other people’s energy. I know that because you are sensitive, you often feel overwhelmed, but that’s mainly because you resist intense energies out of fear. You’ve been overwhelmed for a long time, and you’ve survived just fine. Instead of trying to protect yourself from intense, dramatic or unsettling energies, RELAX. Trust that everything is and will be fine. Send love to everything and everyone. This will reverse the flow of energy, so instead of being bombarded by others’ feelings, you will radiate your own vibration outward. Divine love will then flow through you, which will make you feel wonderful and may help others in many ways as well.

– Soul Arcanum

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