Tag Archive: Healing


Can Meditation on Healing the World Cause Headaches?

Filed Under: Healing, Meditation by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Can Meditation on Healing the World Cause Headaches?

on meditation…
Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Over the past couple of weeks, I have started to meditate and open up to the Universe. My goal is to try to bring the New Age into being, for as all the crazy stuff happening with the government and U.S. president shows, we desperately need change in this world right now. Since I’ve been doing this, I’ve been waking up with headaches. My question is, are my headaches just physical in nature, or is something happening on a spiritual level? Can meditation actually cause headaches or other physical problems?
– M.

Dear M.:

While meditation and accelerated spiritual growth can lead us to profound well-being and feelings of bliss, they can also cause headaches and other unpleasant physical sensations. Meditation accelerates our vibration and sparks a stronger/higher flow of life force energy. If this strong energy meets resistance or obstructions as it tries to move through our being, we can experience all kinds of unusual and even painful symptoms. These are actually old wounds and limiting issues rising up to be healed, and often, healing is painful. (Please note that it is not meditation or growth that causes the discomfort, but the blocks to the flow of that higher energy.)

I recommend you search the internet for “kundalini experience” or “kundalini symptoms.” If you do, you’ll discover that you are not alone. In fact, it is very common for periods of spiritual growth and awakening to produce uncomfortable physical sensations. This includes periods when we’re simply engaging in new spiritual practices. Often one experiences alternating states of bliss and struggle. For example, Krishnamurti suffered from terrible headaches and other physical symptoms throughout his life. Many saints similarly had strange illnesses that left them miserable when they weren’t having ecstatic experiences.

These headaches are basically caused by energetic pressure in the head. Have you ever gone to a sad movie and cried really hard, but tried NOT to cry because you were embarrassed? I did this many times, and every time, I left the theater with a horrible headache. Then I figured out what was happening and integrated the wisdom of how important it is for us to process our emotions instead of resisting or suppressing them. When we let emotional energy flow freely, no pressure builds, and we naturally maintain healthy balance.

As I stated above (and as Edgar Cayce taught), it isn’t meditation or psychic development that causes problems, but rather a lack of flow in one’s being on some level (physical, emotional, mental and/or spiritual). To “heal” the discomfort, we can either clear the blocks to flow or slow down the growth/ energy or both.

There are many things we can do to clear blocks and come up to speed with the new energy flowing in and through us. On a practical, physical level, we can purify the body by following Edgar Cayce’s diet recommendations (eat a lot of whole, raw, natural food). We can get our energy going by moving our physical bodies via exercise as well. Yoga and Tai Chi are especially effective for increasing energy flow. Massage and energy healing are also good choices.

To release and process all those thoughts and emotions, anything that keeps energy moving will help, such as journaling, feng shui, engaging in counseling, etc. This is where your own specific situation comes up, for on one hand, you’re igniting high level energy via meditation, but on the other, you’re carrying all this negativity with you into that practice. Your cynical thoughts and feelings about the state of the world are not a good match for the high vibration of meditation, so you’re encountering a chasm between the two. Trying to stretch yourself across that chasm is creating tension, which you experience as headaches.

It’s time to dump all those negative thoughts and feelings about the world, both for your own sake, and for the sake of the rest of the planet. After all, believing that the world is in dire need of help and fixing will only send more energy to that idea. As I wrote about energy healing last week, the best thing we can do to heal anyone and anything (including the planet) is to see only perfection. Whatever we visualize is what we are creating, after all.

Luckily, this is exactly what you need to “heal” yourself of the headaches and move into a much happier experience both in your meditations and in your daily life. When we believe that the world is a bad place to be (or is unsafe, untrustworthy, dark, cold, etc.) we pinch off our crown chakras. This of course makes it hard for that energy to flow through us and out the top of our heads. You meditating to bring the New Age in because this world needs so much help is like you taking the weight of the world on your shoulders. It’s no wonder you don’t feel well – that’s heavy, man! The closer you are to a state of bliss and joy, the more kundalini (life force energy) will be able to flow through your being.

I recommend you begin your meditations by visualizing your crown chakra opening like a lotus. Whenever you have a headache, open your crown chakra and visualize all that energy just flowing out into the Universe to be assimilated and transformed. I have a Chakra Clearing and Charging Meditation that would really help you with all of this. Also, RELAX. You don’t have to save the world while you’re meditating. Just sink into a sense of profound well-being via your conscious connection to the divine.

At the same time, I recommend you get more grounded and reconnected with the physical world. In meditation, you can do this by visualizing the perfection that you DO see in the world. Bask in appreciation for kind people, beautiful sunsets, the amazing creatures of the ocean, the bounties of the fields, the planet’s endless turning from day to night and day again, the beauty of the night sky, etc. Ponder all the people who are constantly trying to help others and make the world more wonderful by inventing new cures for diseases, creating works of art, writing beautiful books, etc. Perhaps even give thanks that there are people who are willing to serve as president. (I wouldn’t want the job – would you?)

When you’re not meditating, get out in the world and look for beauty! Go barefoot, take walks in nature, and work in your garden. As you consciously step more and more into all that is good and right in the world, your vibration will naturally rise. Then you will be able to meditate and send healing love to the world, and instead of headaches, you’ll experience only bliss!

– Soul Arcanum

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How to Overcome Depression and Reignite a Passionate Connection to Life and Spirit

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How to Overcome Depression and Reignite a Passionate Connection to Life and Spirit

on healing depression…
Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am a 38-year-old single mom. I work in the mental health field, am studying the healing arts, and have a long history of being intuitive. I also come with a history of abuse and have worked hard for many years to live a stable and healthy life. This year I made some changes that included leaving my fiance and moving to another state. I know in my heart of hearts I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Many wonderful opportunities have come my way to make all of these changes possible. Here’s the part I am having a hard time understanding: Before I became more stable and healthy, I used to experience times when I felt very connected to Spirit and had feelings of hope. Now that I’m older and in a much better place in my life than ever before, life seems rather dull, and I often find it difficult to tap into the positive feelings of Spirit. Is this common depression due to all the recent changes in my life, or am I suffering from spiritual disconnection? What can I do differently to jumpstart some positive feelings toward Spirit? Many blessings and thank you!
– Lisa

Dear Lisa:

Most likely you’re just in a phase of integrating what you’ve learned in the past and enjoying some of the fruits of your labors before your next big adventure begins. It’s like when we start a new level of school: At first, it’s thrilling and unnerving, but after a few months, what once seemed exciting has become a dull routine.

For quite some time you had some really big, dramatic challenges to chew on. Now that you’ve managed to build a solid foundation for yourself and things are going more smoothly, you’re more content but life seems less exciting and meaningful.

Many people are unknowingly addicted to the emotional highs and lows of lots of drama. Constant angst makes them feel alive and gives them something important to do. They think they want life to get easier, but when it does, they sabotage themselves because life seems boring, or they wonder why, now that they have everything they thought they needed, they aren’t as happy as they expected to be. Of course, as we evolve, it’s natural to experience less drama, hardship and conflict since we’re gaining wisdom and our vibration is rising, which empowers us to create what we want in our lives.

People who struggle with depression for long periods of time suffer from a lack of strong desire. Life is actually too easy; what they need is a big challenge. When a crisis arises, people who couldn’t get out of bed to go to work can suddenly leap into action. It’s passionate desire that makes us feel alive – not the fulfillment of that desire.

There is a certain point in everyone’s spiritual development when what you’re describing is common. After we’ve conquered the basics of survival and pulled ourselves together emotionally and psychologically, we may have no idea where to go from there. At this point, we must redefine our sense of meaning and purpose in life because we’re ready to shift from focusing on keeping our heads above water to empowering other people.

Through our own suffering and struggles, we develop compassion. Once we’re out of pain and hardship ourselves, we can help people who are still in it. Some people have a natural desire to be of service to others, while others don’t really see the point. If you remember that when you leave this life, you’ll go through a life review, and how well you loved yourself and others will matter more than anything else, then you’ll see that there is a lot in it for you if you devote yourself to being of service.

Please also remember that depression can often signal the beginning of new spiritual growth and awareness. Depression turns our focus inward, away from the endless distractions of the outer world. Our desire to leave this emotional pain behind motivates us to ask new questions and find new answers. Eventually, we emerge from depression on a higher level of experience, with new personal potential. It’s natural for boredom and depression to arise during a period of relative abundance and stability because it’s at these times that we can work on making inner progress.

Our higher selves are constantly pulling us toward the realization that we are already whole and always connected to the Divine. It’s the ego that feels lost, dissatisfied and separate. When one pursuit after another fails to fulfill our longing for something greater, eventually we recognize that we’ve been chasing our own tails the whole while – that we’ve had what we are longing for all along.

The answer, then, is to know and remember this truth. By recognizing that we’re in ego when we’re unhappy, we can remember to shift our vibration higher and focus on the one thing that has been with us from the beginning – our own Divine nature.

Here are some more tips for cultivating the habit of feeling alive, passionate, inspired, and connected to Spirit:

  • First make sure your physical habits encourage well-being, happiness, personal power and high energy. Eat fresh, high vibration food, get regular exercise, get enough sleep, etc.
  • Meditate to uncover and connect with your true nature, which is always content and at peace. Recognize that you determine how excited you are about life, and you determine the quality of your connection to Spirit. The same feelings of magic and excitement you experienced in the past are always available to you.
  • Read spiritual books, especially books about near death experiences, the afterlife and the law of attraction. Watch movies like Joe Versus the Volcano, Shirley Valentine, Under the Tuscan Sun, Contact, Patch Adams, etc.
  • Live on the edge. Ask yourself what you would do if you could do anything, and then go for it. Reach for dreams so big that they thrill you a lot and scare you a little.
  • Find ways to help people who are struggling with challenges you’ve overcome. Begin to teach. Organize a support group or book club for spiritual seekers, or find some way to help people who are a step or two behind you.
  • Experiment with spiritual subjects that interest you. You could focus on manifesting amazing things, join a mediumship development circle, try some EVP research. Push the envelope in terms of what you believe is possible.
  • Actively dialogue with Spirit. Ask what you can do to move forward and manifest a sense of connection, wonder and excitement about life again, and then watch for signs to come to you.
  • Remember that if you’re bored or feeling lifeless, you’re not fully awake. The Universe is an incredible place! There is so much to learn about, so many places to see, people to meet, things to explore. The possibilities are endless. If you’re not seeing anything to be amazed at or excited about, you’re not really looking. There is always something new to learn or invent.
  • Volunteer at a children’s hospital, a hospice or a prison. Nothing will make you feel happy and grateful like being regularly reminded of how truly blessed you are.

– Soul Arcanum

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Can Hatred be Healing?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Can Hatred be Healing?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Over the last three years, I’ve had some wonderful unfolding through trance and healing work, but now I really feel stuck. I was severely abused as a child, and my whole family is still covering up for the abusers. The spiritual counselor I’ve been working with took a sharp turn from many good things to this whole new place I hate: He wants me to forgive my mother. Why should I forgive someone who beat the heck out of me? I just don’t see it. I’m not stupid; I understand that she came from her own bad karma; I get that letting go helps me. However, hating her is the only real spiritual clarity I’ve had in years. I know how awful that sounds but I feel a great clearing to see what she did, so to ask me to forgive her makes me nuts! He is insisting that I am staying stuck. It sounds right but I can’t even imagine letting go of my newfound hate of her and all she did. Any suggestions?
Susan

Dear Susan:

I feel both you and your therapist are right – you’re just viewing this from different perspectives. It sounds like this healer knows what he is doing, for he has helped you a great deal, proven his wisdom and earned your trust thus far. I agree with his assessment of the situation: that holding on to hatred of your mother will keep you stuck.

At the same time, however, it’s imperative that you love and trust yourself enough to honor your true feelings. If it doesn’t feel right to let go of this hatred yet, then you must do what feels right and best to you.

Please do note that when we forgive someone, that doesn’t mean we’re to blame for whatever they did. Further, when we have feelings of hatred for someone, that doesn’t mean we are somehow at fault. It feels to me like you really need to love your inner child by clearly acknowledging what happened to you when you were small and validating your feelings about that.

Perhaps it doesn’t feel like you can let go of this hatred because you’re waiting for validation of your feelings from some of the key people involved. As you move forward and learn to love yourself even better, it won’t be so important to get that external validation, and this will empower you to release more of the deep pain that you’ve been carrying around for years.

For now, by allowing yourself to be angry with your mother, you are finally starting to affirm your love for yourself. Children who are abused tend to have very low self-esteem, and when they decide that they deserve better and they get angry, then instead of turning all that pain inward, they start to flow it outward toward whomever or whatever mistreated them. This begins to release the energy, which can bring a profound sense of relief. Hatred can thus indeed be healing when it represents a shift toward greater self-love. It’s just one step, but when we’ve come from an even lower vibration, we may feel much better than we felt before.

I feel your counselor is trying to help you but needs to be patient and understanding of where you are in this process. This is one of the trickier aspects of spiritual counseling: when we’re forever tapping into higher truths and aligning with a super high vibration, we can lose touch with ordinary life, which diminishes our effectiveness as healers.

You are naturally conflicted. In seeking help from this counselor, you are in essence asking him to guide you to a warmer, happier place. Let’s say that initially, when you were in a place of tremendous emotional pain and struggle, it was like you were living in a frozen, barren tundra. As you began to shift out of feeling powerless, unlovable and victimized, you moved into feeling more empowered and angry at your abusers. While this doesn’t sound all that wonderful, it was like moving from that frozen tundra to someplace like Toronto: even though it’s still really cold there, it feels so much better than where you were before.

Meanwhile, your healer is living in a tropical paradise and is eager to help you find your way to the wonderful place he has found. In continuing to work with him, you are in essence asking him to help you keep moving to a better/warmer place. At the same time, however, you are telling him that you don’t want to leave the cold weather (hatred) behind.

No doubt you just need a chance to rest and recover from your recent trek, to integrate your experiences and gather the strength and courage for another journey. On a spiritual level, you’re feeling pretty worn out and at the same time, feeling so much better than you did before that you’re wondering if you really do need to keep moving.

You are free to stay where you are with all of this for as long as you like. If and when you feel ready, you can inch your way toward paradise or you take a big, sudden leap. It all depends on what feels right to you, what you’re ready for, and your own inner guidance.

In terms of your relationship with this healer, the important thing is to recognize that he may have the answers you need, that you may not be ready to hear them or act on them yet, and that is all okay.

I believe the lessons in this situation are naturally perfect for everyone involved. You are learning to honor your feelings, trust yourself, and make choices based on what feels right to you. You’re learning that if you try to deny or repress your feelings, they will get swept under the rug again, and there they will make all sorts of lumps and bumps that you will trip over in the future. As they’ll then be hidden, you won’t know why you feel the way you do or keeping doing the self-destructive, crazy things you keep doing. Thus you are very wise to take all the time you need to fully work through and release your feelings.

Further, until you give yourself permission to feel all that you really feel, you will naturally resist moving on. Imagine yourself on that journey south, and that someone else is pushing you to keep moving even though you’re weary and need to rest a bit. In this scenario, it’s natural to resist being pushed. If, however, you claim your right to set your own pace, then you will sense when it’s time to get going again; it will feel comfortable and right for you to do so.

Your healer also has lessons in all of this. He’s being reminded to respect and honor his clients as unique spiritual beings who are being guided by Divine wisdom via their own hearts. He’s being reminded that everyone is always in just the right place for them. He’s being reminded that, in order to be a good teacher, he must teach at his students’ pace, not the pace that he would prefer. He’s being reminded that he can do his best to help, but he can’t move for you: only you can truly change your life, and trying to rush the process will only take longer in the end and prove more stressful than necessary. Your spiritual counselor does sound wise. My sense is that he isn’t truly trying to rush you, but is instead simply spelling things out for you, letting you know that when you want to make further progress, you will have to head in a certain direction. You can take all the time you need getting ready for that spiritual journey, but he’s right that in order to get to a tropical paradise, you’re eventually going to have to head toward the equator. You can take all the time you need, of course, for the relative paradise of inner peace will always be there, ready for you to call it home.

– Soul Arcanum

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The “Best” Approach to Energy Healing

Filed Under: Energy/Vibration, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on The “Best” Approach to Energy Healing

Copright Soul Arcanum LLC All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am a reflexologist, and am wondering what you feel is the best healing approach. Should I come up from Mother Earth at one’s feet? Or is it better to go through the crown chakra as pure spirit, love and light; send healing energy through the body; ask for all negativity, disease and toxins to be purged away; then ask to have the person grounded to Mother Earth? Does this sound like a good practice? Is it better to go from bottom to top or top to bottom, and why? (I use crystals in my healing work). Also, can I earn a living and support my children doing reflexology? God Bless!
– Healing Hands

Dear Healing Hands:

If others are supporting themselves doing reflexology (and they ARE) then you certainly can too. I recommend you find someone who is making a fantastic living in your chosen field, study that person’s approach, and then simply mirror it. If you don’t get the same results, then you’re missing something – look deeper. Study this successful person’s belief system and how they are working with natural spiritual law to manifest what they want in their lives.

As for which healing approach is best, regular readers of my column will not be surprised to learn that I don’t believe there is one path that is superior to all others. Energy healing is simply a matter of setting a very clear intention of flowing well-being, and then altering one’s state of consciousness and letting that healing energy flow. It is also an intuitive art, so gifted healers are adept at allowing their intuition to guide them as they go.

It ultimately doesn’t matter which words you choose to define what you’re doing, or if you use crystals or herbs or a cardboard magic wand doused in glitter. It doesn’t matter if you’re into reflexology, Reiki, prayer or dancing naked under the full moon. Regardless of how you do it, healing will happen when you go to the energetic source of discomfort and align what is wanted at that level via a pure, clear intention.

This doesn’t mean that we should avoid all the paths listed above. While none of these modalities is the only answer, there’s nothing wrong with them either. If you believe in one of these tools and it helps you to flow pure, positive energy, then work with it.

I don’t want to convey indifference, for I do have some strong opinions about healing. Below is my own approach. I hope it empowers you to tap greater healing power so you can help people who need a guide back to radiant well-being.

The process I describe here is what I use for “quick healings,” such as those at church. If I am doing a reading/ healing session and have more time, I will incorporate a great deal of verbal healing/reading work/hypnotherapy. I may do all that is described here, but I will also go deeper in terms of talking someone toward the state of well-being, fulfillment and joy that they desire.

For “quick healings,” however, I begin by asking the person if they will JOIN me in accepting healing. This produces an immediate shift in most people as they realize that they are not passive recipients, but must choose greater well-being themselves in order to allow that to flow in.

Then I “polish” their aura around the head and sometimes around the body. I simply move through the aura, visualizing it shining and radiant. I then run energy from the crown down each of the chakras in front, and then from the chakras in back up to the crown. There are many ways you can do this. I start with my right hand at the crown, and move my left through the front chakras, then switch with my left at the crown, and move my right hand up the spine. (I am left-handed, so if this doesn’t feel right to you, do whatever feels natural).

Then I ask Spirit for what this person most needs at this time, and I open up and ask for a verbal blessing for them. I send them the blessing energetically, then I give it to them verbally before they get up from my healing chair. The blessing may be something like: “May you walk through life with the ease, energy and flexibility you had when you were 22 years old” or “As you leave here today, may you know in every fiber of your being that you absolutely can have that which you want so much!” Every blessing is given by Spirit for that individual at that particular moment in time, and so every blessing is unique.

Please note that I do not diagnose, nor do I even begin to look for “problems.” What we focus upon expands, so if we look for and then focus on problems, we are not making things better. This effect is even stronger when we’re in the altered state of consciousness of energy healing work, so we must be very careful that we are focusing on health and well-being.

Also, it’s wise to remember that we healers are not doing the healing work. Instead, we are helping the person who desires greater well-being to energetically align with their own inner healer. As we align with a higher state of being and then link with the one being healed, it is much easier for them to find their way to the vibration of wellness.

It’s much like lifting someone’s spirits. If someone is down, we can “cheer them up” by radiating joy and optimism, and by speaking words of hope and comfort. We can’t make them feel a certain way, but we can walk a happy path and beckon them to follow if they will. We can remind them that they have the power to create what they want in their own lives, and indeed, that no one else can truly heal them: they must choose what they want for themselves.

The most important concept to remember as a healer is something I think a lot of healers haven’t realized. Our job is to see only perfection. This is how Jesus healed. As He focused on those in need, he didn’t see disease or suffering, he saw their divine perfection, and he was so connected to the stream of pure positive energy that his light and truth prevailed. As we connect with our own power as creators, we must similarly connect with our own inner light and then focus on the perfection that is wanted.

So when I am doing healing work, my “goal” is to view the person in my healing chair as already radiating perfect well-being. When I connect and let that energy flow, I shift into a state of profound bliss. I see only the highest and the best in that person. I am usually mentally shown the person as a child, or at a time when he or she was radiantly healthy and happy. Then I just appreciate how perfect they already are, and send divine love to every aspect of their being.

Basking in this feeling of unconditional love and perfection is so powerful! If we alter our state of consciousness and then spend just a few moments deeply visualizing, imagining, and FEELING as we wish to feel, we begin to send powerful creative energy to the manifestation of what is wanted. This is the energy that sparks apparent miracles.

So in summary, I encourage you to trust your intuition to guide you when doing healing work. Keep your process simple so you don’t forget what is happening at an energetic level. It’s not about crystals or secret symbols or any other hocus pocus: it’s just about altering your state of consciousness; setting a very clear, high intention; then flowing divine love.

One more thing: once you have done all the above, let go of the results! We are healing with the power of faith/belief, and in order to truly tap into this power, we have to trust that whatever happens will be for the highest and best. Offer your love and surrender the rest.

If you think about it, you’ll see that this is the highest approach any of us can choose at any moment.

– Soul Arcanum

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Healing Romantic Obsession

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Healing Romantic Obsession


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC, 2011. All rights reserved.  
 All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’ve been seeing this man for about nine months. We had an open relationship. At first I was totally against it, but I felt like this was the only way I could be in his life. He has guided me on becoming more spiritual. (I think I have always been spiritual but now I’m not afraid to embrace it.) He is almost like a mentor to me. Now it seems he has fallen back in love with an old flame with whom he has children. It hurts that he just dropped me and committed to her. I want to disconnect from the spiritual connection we share. It’s like he is with me wherever I go. I love him but the pain and torment is something I can live without. I’m scared he will know and try to put a spell on me. He has done this in the past, and while it did not work on me, it was effective on others. I want to be free of this spiritual connection. It is very powerful and like nothing I have ever felt before.

Ameerah

Dear Ameerah:

Your question reveals what is happening on a metaphysical level. I find it particularly interesting that even though you say this man dropped you and committed to another, you write about your relationship in the present tense as though it is ongoing. In fact, you go back and forth between present and past tense when describing this relationship, which reflects how it’s both over and not over at the same time for you.

I’m wondering how you know about him putting spells on other people; I can only assume that he actually told you that he has done this. You imply that he tried to put a spell on you and that it didn’t work. Whether he overtly tried to influence you in this way or not, it’s pretty clear that you are “under his spell,” at least in the conventional sense of the term. This saying reflects our awareness on some level that it is possible for someone who is very magnetic and charismatic to influence people to feel as you are feeling.

Breaking free of a charismatic lover is in some ways similar to breaking free of the influence of a cult leader. In both scenarios, the “follower” gives their power away to someone they perceive to be somehow extraordinary. In order to reclaim your power, you have to begin to know YOURSELF to be just as special, lovable, and wonderful as the one you’ve been worshipping. When you make another person your God, you set yourself up for anguish and disappointment. It’s time to stop making him so special and begin to look for the divine within yourself and everyone else.

To be immune to the influence of charismatic types, you have only to own and exercise your power to consciously create what you want in your life. This is all about taking your power back. To have influence over us, a person must have stronger will/chi than we do. In order to break free, you must summon enough will power and desire to match that person’s energy or supercede it. This means you have to want to be free even more than he wants you hanging on. You also have to believe in your power to be free and to create what you want in your life even more than he believes in his power to influence you. This is definitely a battle of wills.

He may be the sort of person who wants as many admirers as possible, or who wants to have a back-up lover waiting in the wings just in case his current relationship doesn’t pan out. The good news is that he is focused elsewhere right now, and it will be impossible for him to summon enough desire to keep you if you begin to take your power back. This just makes sense, for your desire to have your life back will be much stronger than his desire to keep something he’s not focused on or attached to hanging around in the background.

Following are four ways you might go about ending this obsession. Allow your intuition to illuminate the best remedy for you by choosing whatever you feel drawn to. Please keep in mind that any of these options can instantly work for you if you bring your whole being to it.

Ways to End Romantic Obsession:

Guided meditation to cut psychic cords: Set aside special time for this exercise, then get quiet, close your eyes, and visualize the connection between you as a cord like string, linking you together. If it feels right, mentally explain to him why you are cutting the cord. If it doesn’t feel right, then explain to the Universe what you are doing and why, and ask for your guides and angels to help you. Focus on the positive: on what you want and the good that you expect to come from this. Be very clear that you are now taking conscious control of creating what you want in your life. You may perceive something in response from him or the Universe. This may include impressions, insights, ideas or solutions, so pay attention and allow whatever comes to you to lead you to new awareness and healing. When the time feels right, cut the cord by visualizing yourself with scissors or a knife cutting away whatever connects you. As you do so, say out loud: I cut this cord so that we may BOTH be free to find greater love and happiness. The more you can embody the feeling of love and happiness you desire for yourself and everyone involved, the more powerful the ritual will be. Afterward, get rid of anything he gave you, and remove all traces of him from your world.

Direct healing from Spirit: If you are adept at prayer and meditation and have a strong relationship with your spirit guides, you can enter into a deep meditation and simply ask Spirit to heal you of this obsession. Ask to be set free, for all thoughts and feelings about him to be taken away, and to feel the way you want to feel: free, at peace, and hopeful about the future. Ask to be guided to something new to pour your love and passion into. Pay attention to what happens, especially in your body. If you are strongly connected, you’re sure to feel something shift or change within you, and afterward, to notice that you feel profoundly changed on an inner level by this exercise.

Spells and rituals: There are many “spells” and rituals you can perform to break free of obsession. Given the space limits of this column, I don’t have room to offer one here for you. The subconscious mind loves ritual, for it’s a way to communicate with your deeper self about what you want and to rally the forces of the Universe to help you achieve your aim. If this idea resonates with you, I encourage you to search the internet for an appropriate spell/ritual, and devote all of your being to it.

Hypnotherapy: Hypnotherapy is a very fast and powerful way to heal and release the past and program yourself to move forward to create what you want in your life. If the above methods don’t appeal to you or leave you somehow wanting, don’t give up hope: I’m sure a skilled hypnotherapist will be able to help you.

A final note: the surest way to release an obsession over something that has ended is to find something new, wonderful and fulfilling to get “obsessed” with. Whether it’s a new relationship, an exciting project, a pet or some endeavor you’re passionate about, if you choose something that blesses you in equal measure to the psychic and emotional energy you pour into it, you will wake up one day and realize that you can’t even remember the last time you thought about old whats-his-name.

To help you with all of this, I recommend you check out some of the great deep trance processes in the spiritual toolbox at Soul Arcanum. :)
– Soul Arcanum

 

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Fully Healing Negative Feelings

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Fully Healing Negative Feelings

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum: A while ago you wrote about letting go of blame, guilt, etc. in your column about cancer. What are some good ways to do this? I find that I may think I let go of something one day, but then the feelings are back the next. Any ideas?
– Soul Arcanum

Dear Soul Arcanum:

First it’s important to allow yourself to feel what you really feel. While I am a huge believer in thinking positively, I have lived and learned enough to know that denying our negative feelings or stuffing them down doesn’t work in the long-term. That’s just like pushing junk to the back of a closet. Sooner or later, it will come right back up as you describe. Besides, with all that “baggage” in our space, we end up living with a sense of constant hassle as we try to maneuver around it. Eventually, all the stuff we have pushed back or to the side has to be sincerely dealt with.

When I am feeling angry, frustrated, impatient, etc. with people, I try to remember to keep things in perspective. You might try reading, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. Mr. Frankl was a POW in a Nazi concentration camp, and in this profound book, he writes about how some POW’s managed to keep their hearts, minds and souls “safe” from the Nazis, despite all that was happening to them on a physical level. They never lost faith and hope; they never lost their ability to love and have compassion for those around them; they retained their humanity, their personal spirit. He writes about the one freedom we each have that no one can take away from us: our freedom to choose how we will think and feel about life and respond to our experiences.

Similarly, I have clients who are dealing with some very intense issues, such as a child being murdered, a spouse being arrested for a humiliating crime and losing his life’s career as a result, trying to recover from the traumatic experience of war, etc. When I remember that there are many, many people who have been wronged in far worse ways than I have, it’s much easier to accept my own challenges with a positive attitude. This is not to be taken as a “should.” Telling ourselves that we “shouldn’t” be so upset about something is shoving it to the back of the closet. I’m suggesting instead that we bring it out into the light and dust it off, where we may discover it’s not as scary or ugly as it seemed when it was in the shadows. It’s amazing how when we let go of ideas about how we “should” feel and how fast we “should” heal, etc., our higher selves can step in and lead us to new peace and freedom.

Further, it is not what we experience, but how we interpret our experiences – the stories that we tell ourselves – that determine how we feel. All emotional pain takes place in our heads, not in our outer experiences. Thus, we can mentally relive an experience over and over again and feel the same degree of pain if the story we tell ourselves about it never changes. When we obsess about something someone has done to “hurt us,” we allow them to hurt us not just once, but over and over again. You know that already, and are wisely asking, “So how do I stop doing that?” The answer is to change the story you are telling yourself about that experience.

You might begin by reminding yourself that everyone is doing their best; some people’s best is just a long way from how you would personally handle that situation. Had you been born into that other person’s life, raised by that person’s parents, and experienced all that that person has experienced, however, you would probably behave the same way.

Further, it is very wise and powerful to remember Victor Frankl’s message: that no one can force us to feel a certain way. We create our own experiences in life. Metaphysics aside, you can see that this is absolutely true simply by observing how different people deal with the same sort of experience. At one end of the spectrum, people are completely crushed by trauma. They either kill themselves or they never truly recover. Some part of the heart and soul is forever missing afterwards. At the other end of the spectrum, people not only grow through traumatic experiences, they turn them into assets, and perhaps even a greater life purpose. Through the fire of deep challenge, they forge new spiritual growth and strength, and go on to help others follow in their footsteps. When we really own the truth that we can’t blame anyone else for how we feel, it becomes natural to let go of negative feelings like anger, hatred, bitterness, etc.

As we begin to change the stories we tell ourselves about hurtful experiences, the way we feel begins to change. The ultimate in healing bad feelings is to find compassion for those who hurt you. In fact, this is the only way I’ve found to permanently heal those intense emotions.

For example, when I was 16 years old, I was stalked and raped by a young man who was about 20 years old. (I don’t know for sure how hold he was.) He was the son of the woman who cut my hair; that was all I really knew about him, beyond the fact that he saw me, became obsessed with me, started stalking me, and eventually raped me. Throughout this ordeal, it became undeniably clear that this guy was CRAZY. He had such a tormented, twisted soul inside that it was very easy for me to be grateful that I was not him. When I realized that I would rather be his “victim” than to be as dark and empty inside as he obviously was, it wasn’t long before I started to feel compassion for him, and to truly forgive.

I know this idea may sound really radical and challenging, but once you have worked with all the ideas above and found compassion for your “enemy,” there is one more thing you can do that is very powerful to heal your heart and move on to new joy and peace: purposefully do something kind for the person you’re feeling negative about. It’s usually best if they don’t know you did it, and it can be as simple as praying for them. In fact, that is a very powerful thing to do.

You will feel a strange sense of freedom come over you if you embrace this goal with the intention of rising above the drama and loving yourself to new well-being. You will feel yourself lift above it, and end up feeling beyond that drama, for what you wish for others – what you send out – is what you yourself will attract.

Then you will naturally move on and focus on other things. It will be easy to forget about whatever happened in the past and to fill your life with new blessings like positive people, new projects and opportunities, new learning and growth. You’ll then be so busy with all the good stuff that you’ll have no time or room in your life to reopen those old wounds again.

I’ll leave you with one last bit of common spiritual wisdom that we all frequently forget: if not for your “enemies,” whether they take the shape of people or challenging life experiences, you’d never experience new personal growth. Our enemies are indeed our greatest teachers. When we can find appreciation for the lessons they bring us, we flow so beautifully through life that we never get stuck in negative emotion for long.

– Soul Arcanum

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She Didn’t Move On and Got Sick

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Emotional Well-being, Healing, Psychic Ability by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on She Didn’t Move On and Got Sick

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Last year I was at a crossroads in my life. While my job had been very important to me, I no longer felt connected to it and was ready to move on to something else. Instead of finding something new, however, I became sick. Ever since then I’ve had terrible headaches. I’m seeing several doctors both medical and alternative, and we can’t figure out what is causing the pain. I’ve been called a sensitive and an old spirit many times. I’m somewhat psychic as I seem to just know things, and can feel the presence of unseen beings. I’m wondering if my illness may be caused by something in the psychic realm. A medicine woman who used to work for me once said that I’ve not been using all the gifts I’ve been given. Is there a connection between my gifts and my headaches? I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired! Thanks!
– L.

Dear L.:

On a metaphysical level, the source of your discomfort is blocked energy. It began when you knew that you needed to move on from your job situation, but you put off doing so because you were afraid to give up something comfortable for something new and as yet unknown. Since you are still in that job situation, these problems aren’t getting any better.

You are by no means alone – people do this sort of thing all the time. In fact, I frequently work with this issue in my spiritual counseling practice. Some of the physical symptoms that may erupt as a result of not moving on when we know we should include chronic fatigue, migraines, sinus infections, depression, anxiety, insomnia and muscle tension – especially in the upper back.

I went through something similar years ago when I knew that I had to get out of a dead marriage, but I was so afraid of hurting anyone involved (my husband, my children, the rest of the family, and myself), that I just couldn’t bring myself to act on the truth in my heart.

The more I tried to deny what my inner being was telling me, the sicker I got. The last year before we separated, I had all sorts of health problems, including migraines and chronic sinus infections. Looking back, I’m amazed at what a mess I was and how long it took me to “get it.” I felt like I was drowning in mucus! When I finally summoned the courage to end the marriage, my health issues cleared up instantly, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I could breathe freely again. I firmly believe the ultimate source of my health problems was the need for this change because I haven’t had a single sinus infection since.

Whenever we try to force ourselves to stay in a situation that isn’t good for us, things tend to get worse and worse until we are forced to move on. This only makes sense if you think about it, because the situation is really not good for us to begin with. It’s similar to having an unhealthy habit like drinking or smoking: if we refuse to give it up, eventually its ill effects on us will manifest physically in the form of pain or health problems. To heal our discomfort, we have to change.

In fact, when it comes to staying in relationships, jobs or other situations that are unhealthy for us on some level, if we don’t listen to our inner being and act on our true needs, eventually something will happen that will force a change. We may get fired or laid off, for example, or we may get so sick that we have to quit. The longer we deny our needs or put off what we know we must do, the worse things tend to get. By contrast, the more we listen within and act on our inner knowing, the smoother our journey through life tends to be. Given all of this, the best thing you can probably do for your health is to quit that job!

This is all related to your psychic gifts as well, for it sounds like you have had a lot of signs that you are psychic and need to further work with your abilities, but you haven’t honored these signs and intuitions. As a result, you have all this energy built up behind your third eye because you’re not opening that chakra enough for it all to flow through. This creates pressure, which can lead to discomfort like headaches.

Have you ever gone to a sad movie and tried to force yourself NOT to cry because you’d be embarrassed, only to end up with a horrible headache? This happens when the energy of your emotion builds up inside you because you won’t let it out.

It also makes sense that when what we are repressing is some truth or awareness, the discomfort we experience will be felt in our heads. So if someone is highly psychic but has a habit of unknowingly pushing their psychic perceptions down into their subconscious, they may experience psychic pressure in the form of headaches. If we don’t resist this awakening, instead of pain or discomfort we may feel a lovely sense of tingling or buzzing around our foreheads.

You are indeed highly psychic, and probably don’t need to develop your gifts so much as to simply acknowledge them and allow them to flow. To do this, you’ll want to further open your third eye and your crown chakra. The third eye will open naturally if you work with psychic development exercises. Kundalini yoga is very powerful for opening the third eye, though all forms of yoga are great for getting your chi flowing freely.

To open the crown chakra, you’ll have to learn to trust in life itself: to have faith that one way or another, everything will be all right. If you already believed this deep down, you wouldn’t have hesitated to leave a job situation that you knew wasn’t right for you. Regular meditation will lead you to deep peace and serenity, which will naturally heal your fear and anxiety and help you develop a more trusting relationship with the Universe. It will also open up a clear channel to Spirit via your crown.

To initiate healing, I believe anything you can do to bring the energies you’ve been repressing up into your conscious awareness will prove helpful. The main thing is to really listen within and trust whatever comes into your awareness as meaningful. You might begin a daily practice of journaling, automatic writing, or art therapy – whatever appeals to you. Energy healing or hypnotherapy may also prove helpful.

The most important thing is to honor what your body has been trying to tell you by opening up to change, and your job situation is the obvious place to start. I think you’ll be amazed at the transformation you experience by simply honoring your true needs in that area of your life, because when we get stuck in one area, we tend to get stuck in others. For example, if we hang on to a job, relationship, habit or living situation out of fear of the unknown, before long we are hanging on to all sorts of other things that don’t really serve us well, such as extra weight, clutter, unfinished projects, unhealthy habits, resentments, etc.

By contrast, when we release some big issue we’ve been hung up on, everything else begins to move forward too. Then it’s suddenly easier to achieve other goals, try new things, and let go of anything else that doesn’t bring us true health and happiness.

– Soul Arcanum

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Healing Ancestral Wounds

Filed Under: Healing, Karma by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Healing Ancestral Wounds


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Through research, I have found that recurring patterns like addictions and limiting beliefs that get passed down through generations are due to ancestral wounds. How does one go about healing an ancestral wound in order to stop the recurring pattern once and for all?

M.

Dear M.:

Though the Bible does mention that the “sins of the fathers” may be visited upon future generations, I think most of us born and raised in the West are surprised by the idea that we may both be paying for the “sins” of our ancestors and able to heal our ancestor’s wounds. However, in many Eastern and tribal cultures, it is commonly believed that we not only have individual karma to work through but family karma as well.

We inherit far more from our ancestors than our hair and eye color and our tendency to develop diabetes or heart disease. Along with gifts like athletic and artistic ability, we may receive certain mental and emotional problems. Since there is no hard line between the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, from a metaphysical perspective, this makes sense. It’s possible to inherit all sorts of things from our ancestors, from a tendency toward violence, laziness, depression and despair to addictions, phobias, and emotional problems. If you step back and view the generations as a river of life, it’s easy to conceptualize how there is a never ending flow of energy from our ancestors down to us, which will continue on down to our descendants.

We all hold certain beliefs that we are not consciously aware of. In fact, we may think we believe one thing while our behavior tells an entirely different story. These beliefs are programmed into our subconscious minds and stored in our cellular memory. Some of these we picked up from early childhood; some were developed in past lives; some we absorbed as if by osmosis from what we sensed the people around us believed; some we inherited from our ancestors through our DNA. We have also inherited survival beliefs and instincts from our ancestors, so we may instinctively react to experiences in a way that would have been more appropriate in a different time and place. Since nearly everything we do and assume arises from the subconscious, it is very powerful to become conscious of what we really believe and work on cultivating the beliefs we truly desire to hold on this level. This is the power underlying hypnotherapy.

According to many cultures and shamanic traditions, we can not only inherit the unresolved wounds and issues of our ancestors, we can also heal them. This is because time is not actually linear. If we step outside of time to connect with those ancestors and help them to heal, we actually change our own present and future. (Since time is not linear, it is possible for those ancestors to be reincarnated and for us to connect with them anyway.) If we view moments as places, we can perhaps imagine that we have only to travel upstream to where the problem occurred to be able to work on addressing and resolving it, which will change what flows down the line to us.

Sometimes it is obvious that a family pattern is being repeated. For example, if you struggle with alcoholism and you come from a long line of alcoholics, you are clearly dealing with something you’ve inherited. Sometimes, however, we have no idea that we are playing out an unconscious program we’ve inherited. Often, it’s only when everything else has been tried that a person ends up in the hands of a healer who discovers an ancestral connection during the healing process. Of course, it is important not to assume that an ancestral pattern is the cause of a problem, for it may just as well be rooted in a past or past life experience. Spirit attachment could also be involved. Since we tend to reincarnate in the same family lines, we could even be the ancestor causing the problem!

If you suspect that you are dealing with family karma or ancestral wounds, it’s a good idea to find a healer who is experienced in such matters. A hypnotherapist will ask your own higher self/subconscious mind what’s going on and what you need in order to create what you want in your life. Some healers may use kinesiology testing or dowsing to determine the root problem. A good psychic may be able to pick up on what’s happening and what you need to do to resolve it.

As for how healers resolve such matters, it depends on who you see. A hypnotherapist will first guide you into a deep trance state. From there, she may dialog with your higher self or subconscious mind to ask what the root problem is and what needs to happen in order to resolve it. If it’s determined that you are acting out an undesirable pattern you’ve inherited from someone else, she will guide you in giving back or releasing that pattern. If it’s discovered that the belief or pattern causing you trouble is rooted in a past or past life experience, she will guide you in healing and releasing that experience and any limiting imprints and patterns you picked up as a result of it. Since every person and situation is unique, a good therapist has to know how to work intuitively with an individual in order to respond to their personal needs in the moment.

If you see a shaman and it’s determined that there are ancestral wounds that need healing, the shaman may lead you through a ritual designed to transcend space/time, connect with the ancestor, and facilitate healing. This may involve all sorts of wonderful elements such as incense, drumming, chanting, guided meditation, journeying, etc.

There are a few things you can do on your own. There are many cultures that build altars devoted to their ancestors. If you are feeling some tension or conflict with your family line, you might use regular prayer or meditation in front of a family altar as a ritual to help you begin to consciously work through your familial karmic inheritance. You can also send healing back to your ancestors much as you would send distant healing to a family member living now. I recommend meditating on whatever it is you are struggling with and sending healing to whatever comes to you, whether it’s ancestral in nature or not. Also, when we keep experiences secret, we actually give those experiences power over us. If there are any family secrets you’re holding close to your chest, you may want to unburden yourself of the power they hold over you by bringing them out into the open where you can face and deal with them.

Finally, it’s important to remember that what we inherit is a tendency, not a certainty. What we are unconscious of controls us; what we become conscious of, we can control. In my view, the most powerful way to free yourself of a negative outside influence, whether that influence comes from the people you’re descended from, the people you are living with now, or the circumstances you find yourself in, is to consciously choose to create what you want in your life. This is the power underlying personal and spiritual growth. It’s the power of working with the subconscious mind in order to cultivate positive beliefs. It’s the power of working with the law of attraction.

Biology is not destiny: you have the power and freedom to take whatever you’ve been given and mold it into whatever you desire. The key is to bring whatever is happening up into the light where you can see it clearly, for then you’ll have the power to transform it.

Soul Arcanum

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Is Resisting Love Bad for Your Health?

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Is Resisting Love Bad for Your Health?

 

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am a woman with a male friend whom I know loves me, but I have closed myself to those feelings. I don’t allow myself to think about him or enjoy the look in his eyes when we meet because I am afraid. Since we both have families, according to my religious beliefs, this love we feel is wrong. My question is, am I doing more harm than good to myself by blocking the energy of this love? On a metaphysical level, what am I doing by blocking the energy that’s coming my way and not letting my energy go out to him? I have started having some small twinges of pain and other sensations on the left side of my chest area around my heart. Have I blocked my heart chakra with this move? Thanks for your wisdom.

K.

Dear K.:

We can and do create blocks in our chakras all the time. We do this when we resist something out of fear of what is happening or might happen in the future. When we try to deny or repress our emotions, we constrict our life force energy. When we make a habit of this, over time we can develop all sorts of problems and issues. So in not being “open” to this man and the feelings between you, you have indeed energetically closed yourself down.

Just last week I wrote about how frequent headaches are associated with psychic development because many people feel overwhelmed and try to shut down their psychic perception. Our chakras are directly linked to our physical health; everything begins in spirit and funnels down into physical manifestation, so when chakras are forced closed or remain blocked over time, we can experience physical pain and even serious health problems. I’m not telling you this to try to scare you, but rather to emphasize that you are wise to listen to your body, for it is definitely trying to tell you something.

Our bodies don’t lie, deny the truth, twist things or rationalize the way our minds do, so often the truth our bodies tell doesn’t match what society thinks is proper or even what we believe is right on a conscious level. When our bodies are saying one thing and our minds are saying another, we have to make a choice: do we choose what FEELS right in our hearts or what we’ve come to believe is right based on what outside influences (other people, religious teachings, etc.) have told us in the past?

My sense is that you live in a culture where breaking with tradition may be much harder and more frightening than it is for many of us these days. While I can appreciate that, it’s also clear to me that it is this outside pressure that is making this lesson so powerful for you. If your decision were easy, it wouldn’t require you to ponder it so deeply and question what you’ve been told in order to find your own truth.

I recently made the acquaintance of a minister who works with the dying. He is a true spiritual warrior who is on the front lines every day, doing his best to serve God and do what he believes is right. He is also in a situation very similar to your own in that he is married but is in love with another. So far, he too is shutting his heart down in order to do what he thinks is right, and he is totally miserable.

As he is a devoted Christian, we had a long chat about how Jesus questioned the beliefs and mores of his culture, and listened above all to the truth speaking to him through his own heart. I think we are all wise to ponder how history’s great spiritual teachers developed the truths upon which today’s religious views are based. It wasn’t by listening to what other people told them was true or what had been established as right or wrong in the past; their celebrated truths arose from within them.

No one can tell you what is right for you. In order to make that decision yourself, you must pray to be guided to clarity and listen within for that guidance. As you do this, it may greatly help you to ask yourself and Spirit a few key questions, such as:

What is the path of fear, and what is the path of love?

When we make decisions based on fear of how others may react or what may happen in the future, we put outside influences before the truth in our own hearts; constrict the flow of our life force energy, personal potential, health and joy; and make our lives smaller. When we make decisions based on love, curiosity, passion, hope, desire and inspiration, we put the wisdom of our hearts first, which expands the flow of our life force energy, personal potential, health and joy. This naturally encourages our lives to grow bigger, more colorful and more fulfilling. Though it is always more rewarding, it is often far more difficult to choose the path of love, for it requires courage as well as faith in ourselves and the divine voice speaking to us from within.

Another great question to ask yourself is: what would I want those I love to do if they were in my shoes? For example, if your husband was in your shoes, would you want him to follow his heart or would you want him to deny his heart out of a sense of obligation to you? Sometimes, it’s most telling to ask ourselves what we would want our children to do in the same situation, for many of us love our children more than we love anyone else – including ourselves. So if your daughter was in your situation, what would you hope she would do?

Finally, it’s important to realize that you can heal your life and any metaphysical problems you’re experiencing without doing anything in particular in your relationships to other people. The first step is to acknowledge the message the pain in your heart is sending you. Instead of judging yourself harshly for feeling as you do, you must give yourself permission to feel as you do and allow that energy to flow freely. This does not mean you necessarily act on those feelings; it means you allow them to be what they are without judging, rejecting or ignoring them.

There is much you can do on the inside to feel better even if you don’t change a thing on the outside. None of this is really about your relationships with other people anyway; it’s all about your relationship to yourself and the Divine. I have a free Chakra Clearing and Charging Meditation that will help you energetically cultivate inner peace and well-being regardless of what is happening in your outer experience. that will help you energetically cultivate inner peace and well-being regardless of what is happening in your outer experience. You can find it at Soul Arcanum.

Finally, I have an idea on how you can have your cake and eat it too: go ahead and act on your desires, but do so on a metaphysical level only. Many people in similar situations end up fulfilling their desires in their dreams, and some of these even go on to learn how to astral travel in order to live a “double life” on other planes. For more on this, Google “astral love” or “astral sex,” and check out D.Soul Arcanum Conway’s book Perfect Love: Finding Intimacy on the Astral Plane.

– Soul Arcanum

 

 

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Why Can’t She Cry?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Why Can’t She Cry?


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC, 2011. All rights reserved.  
All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My family and I have had a horrendous 10 years. We’ve moved countries and continents, been cheated in business, had to live with family, gotten thrown out on our ears by family, and found it very hard to get by. Business deals that were sure to go through would just not happen at the last minute; this is still happening. There is constant worry about money even though we’re all working. It’s been really horrible and exhausting. I have also been cheated of my inheritance by my own sister because we lived and worked overseas and she looked after our parents. She feels she is entitled to everything they left behind: jewelry, property, everything. She took care to put everything in her name while I was overseas. My question, Soul Arcanum, is why can’t I cry? I have been hurt so badly by my sister plus all the stuff that we’ve been through, yet I can’t seem to cry. Please help.

K.

Dear K.:

I’m sorry to hear of all your heartache. There are a number of possible reasons why you can’t cry.

The most obvious explanation is that you are depressed. When severely depressed, many people experience the same thing you describe: an inability to cry. With severe depression, emotions become so flattened that one is essentially beyond weeping. I encourage you to see your doctor about this possibility. Of course, if you have already seen a doctor and are on anti-depressants, you have your answer: anti-depressants are known to blunt emotions, so many people who take them feel too numb to laugh, cry, or feel much of anything.

Another possible explanation is that you are too overwhelmed to allow yourself the “luxury” of succumbing to tears at this time. It sounds like your struggles are ongoing, which means you are not yet in a place where you can look back on your experiences and begin to heal and release the trauma involved. This is a bit like being in the midst of battle when you are wounded; since you are still in survival mode, you may not even feel the wound until the danger is behind you. Even if you are in pain, however, you know you have to keep going in order to survive, so you ignore the wound and keep on fighting. If you feel like you simply don’t have time to “fall apart” right now, that may explain why you can’t cry.

It’s also possible that you’ve got so much emotional pain bottled up inside that you’re afraid of what may happen (or what you may do) if you started to let it out. When our emotions feel more powerful than we think we can handle, it can feel like if we even crack the door of our hearts open, a tidal wave of emotion will burst through and sweep us away. We may fear experiencing that much pain all at once, or we may fear that if we allow ourselves to feel those feelings, we will lose control and do something we may regret. In either case, the solution is often to just keep our hearts tightly locked shut and keep plugging forward.

It is also possible that your inability to cry goes way back to early childhood or even a past life. Our experience of crying is naturally rooted in our early childhood and our relationships with our caregivers. After all, crying is the only way infants have to communicate that they need something. Those of us whose parents responded to our crying in positive ways tend to find comfort in crying as adults; those of us whose parents ignored us or became angry or upset by our crying tend to have crying issues.

If, when you were a little girl, your parents somehow punished you for crying, you may have difficulty allowing yourself to cry in any situation. Parents who don’t want to be bothered with their children’s complaints tend to say things like, “Stop crying! That’s not worth crying about,” or the ever popular, “If you want something to cry about, I will give you something to cry about!” Some parents even send their children to their rooms and refuse to let them come out until they have stopped crying. Of course, there are other ways parents reject or censor their children when they are upset. Some parents are so uncomfortable seeing their children in distress that they say things like, “Please don’t cry. It breaks my heart to see you so sad,” which tends to make the child feel guilty for crying. Even when they don’t verbally discourage their children from crying, if the parents are uncomfortable, the children may sense it and decide to stifle their tears.

Yours is a perfect problem for hypnotherapy. Since there are many potential causes, hypnotherapy could help you to quickly pinpoint and heal whatever is really going on. If you came to see me for therapy, I would spend our first couple of sessions helping you get comfortable with the therapeutic process and giving you subconscious suggestions to begin to heal and release whatever is troubling you. (This gentle, gradual approach tends to work best with people who may be afraid to feel whatever emotions may come up.) Eventually, I would dialogue with your higher self and ask about the root cause of your inability to cry. If this took us back to a traumatic event in childhood or a past life, I would guide you in re-membering that event and feeling all the feelings involved. Since your presenting problem is an inability to cry, my goal would be get those tears flowing. Once you were sobbing on my couch, I would know we had achieved a breakthrough.

Some therapists believe that reliving the emotions of past events is unnecessarily unpleasant; some believe that it is essential to the healing process; I believe it depends on the client and the situation. I do believe there is great healing power in catharsis, and that it is never wise to deny, repress, block or avoid emotions. Interestingly, recent scientific research has discovered that when we cry in sorrow, our bodies release endorphins and our tears contain toxins; when our eyes are simply watering due to irritation, neither of these is true. This means that crying is in and of itself therapeutic and healing. I think we all know this based on personal experience: who hasn’t succumbed to a good cry after a period of great stress or upset, felt completely spent, and then wiped their tears and decided to get on with things?

In my experience, cathartic sessions tend to produce healing miracles. Let’s take for example the case of a woman who had an inexplicable fear of driving a car. In therapy, a past life in which she had died in a car crash was discovered. Though this awareness alone didn’t produce results, in the last session, she was regressed to relive the accident, during which there was a great outpouring of emotion. That is when a breakthrough was achieved: following that session, her fear of driving completely disappeared.

Of course, it is always helpful to simply have someone loving and understanding to talk to. If you don’t have a friend or relative you feel you can pour your heart out to, you may find traditional counseling helpful. It may take a while to develop the trust and rapport necessary, but if you open up about your troubles to a caring person, eventually those tears should begin to flow. From deep tissue massage to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), there are many different healing modalities besides talk therapy and hypnotherapy that can release stored emotions, so explore your options. If you pray to Spirit for the answer, I’m sure you will be guided to the perfect healing path for you.

– Soul Arcanum

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