Tag Archive: emotions


He’s Emotionally Shut Down

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Intuitive Development by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on He’s Emotionally Shut Down

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Dear Soul Arcanum:

Growing up, I always felt I had an unusual emotional connection to people. I was able to sense what they were feeling and interact with them in a caring, helpful way. Sometimes people around me made me feel like I was a bit crazy, and eventually, I’d had enough of this and stopped being in touch with people on that level. I put my emotions in check. This helped by toughening me up to outside influences, but it severely hindered my intuition. Now I’m seeking to find a bit of inner peace and understanding, and am realizing that my emotional life is basically non-existent. I rarely get excited about things, and when I need to accomplish a goal, I end up not caring whether I achieve it or not. It’s like I just don’t care. I never have intense feelings of desire, anger or any other emotion. How do I get in touch with my emotions again?

Jason

Dear Jason:

I think it’s important to realize that many people are dealing with emotional disconnection to some degree. Think about the wild range of emotions that little kids display versus how most adults behave. In fact, part of the process of “maturing” is gaining control of our emotions.

Further, spiritual wisdom leads us to live “in the world but not of it,” which means that even as the human side of us is experiencing something intense, there is a spiritual part of us that is just calmly observing. This means the more centered we grow in our higher selves, the more we tend to embody a calm equilibrium at all times.

When we grow to understand that life is just a game – a world of illusions that is just a tiny fraction of our existence – it kind of takes the sting out of situations that used to get us all riled up. While this calm higher perspective empowers us to create whatever we want, suddenly we don’t want anything anymore – we’re content with where we are and mildly curious about what life will send our way next.

So as we move into higher levels of spiritual awareness and wisdom, feeling mellow is perfectly normal. When we eventually shed all desire, we move beyond the vibrational range of the physical, after which we incarnate on other planes.

It sounds like you’re more blocked than enlightened here, however, and there are some healing processes that may help you.

Many highly sensitive people will try to shut down in order to protect themselves from overwhelming energies, or to avoid feeling humiliated or rejected for being different. When this becomes a habit, or when it happens as a result of some traumatic event, the emotional body can get squeezed to the side, which can lead to the emotionally dead feeling you describe.

We have seven spiritual bodies that correspond to the seven main chakras. Moving out from the physical we find the etheric, which is like a blueprint for the physical, and then the emotional body. If we feel overwhelmed or burned out due to high emotional sensitivity, the emotional body can get shut down or pushed aside. This is especially common in natural empaths – people who tend to feel others’ emotional energy as their own. These folks may unconsciously block certain chakras in order to try to prevent discomfort.

This dynamic is illuminated in common phrases such as when we say that a person is beside himself, out of it, shut down, closed down, out of his mind, turned off, etc. Some people even say that someone is close-hearted.

By contrast, being open means being receptive to the energies all around us, which can be very overwhelming, especially for sensitive people. We all filter energies to a certain degree, except when we’re feeling blissful and totally open, such as when we are in a very peaceful place where the energies flowing in are gentle and pleasant.

The more we open up our chakras to process more energy, the more alive we feel, the healthier we are, and the more fully we can live life. In fact, when we close down or block our chakras, we may eventually experience depression and dis-ease.

When people feel emotionally shut down, the chakras affected are typically the second (sacral) chakra, which governs the emotional body; the solar plexus chakra through which we sense things in our guts; and the heart chakra, through which we love others. So in closing down emotionally, you would indeed close down your intuition or gut instincts.

While it’s natural to try to block ourselves from unpleasant experiences in the future, our ultimate goal is to learn that there is nothing to really fear. By shedding the fears behind our efforts to emotionally protect ourselves, we naturally rise above the extreme highs and lows we used to experience. However, when we’re centered in a higher perspective, we don’t feel depressed and indifferent but peaceful and content. (This is how you can determine whether what you’re experiencing is a result of spiritual growth or a symptom suggesting that emotional healing is needed.)

If you determine that you’re blocked, there are many things you can try to affect emotional healing. I recommend you begin with hypnotherapy. If I were working with you, I would regress you back to when you used to feel intense emotions and from there, ask your subconscious to take us to the events, impressions, beliefs or decisions that led you to disconnect emotionally. This would both reconnect you with your emotional body and guide you through the process of melting the frozen energies blocking your emotional flow now. Through hypnotherapy, you can also reprogram any fearful, limiting beliefs that led you to try to protect yourself in the first place.

If you are blocked, it’s because on some level, you don’t believe that the world is a safe place to be emotionally open. Often it is fear of rejection or humiliation that leads us to shut down, which sounds right given what you wrote about people acting like you were crazy. By healing those old emotional wounds and updating your belief system as well as embracing new spiritual growth, you can leave the pain of the past behind and shift into a much higher level of experience.

In addition to hypnotherapy, you might try yoga, which will help you melt energetic blocks so you relax and balance all aspects of your being. You can also see an energy healer for help with releasing blocks, or a shaman for something called soul retrieval. We all tend to distance ourselves from emotional pain by repressing or denying it, which causes parts of ourselves to “leave.” One classic symptom of soul loss is the sense of feeling emotionally shut down that you describe. In soul retrieval, a shaman engages with your soul on a higher level in order to retrieve and reintegrate aspects of your being that left when you experienced some trauma.

Finally, ask your own inner being what you need to do to feel better and then trust what you receive. One of the fastest ways to get past our fears of rejection and to reawaken our intuition is to do something “crazy.” You clearly have some old fear of being labeled crazy, and have disconnected from your intuition. If you relax and tune in and then act on whatever so-called crazy ideas come to you, you can quickly melt through those blocks and reconnect with your inner guidance system. Similarly, when people feel emotionally dead inside, there is nothing like a true crisis to wake them up. I’m not suggesting you put yourself in danger or wreck your life, but a big spiritual adventure – something way beyond the realm of what you would normally do – may prove just what you need to feel emotionally reborn.

– Soul Arcanum

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Empathy and Emotional Control

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Intuitive Development, Psychic Ability, Psychic Protection, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Empathy and Emotional Control

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Dear Soul Arcanum:
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a few years ago, and while I agree with the diagnosis, the label doesn’t quite fit me. I am fairly psychic and more so all the time. I’m clairsentient: I feel too much, care too much (though I don’t think that’s really true!), and I’m always feeling other people’s feelings. Sometimes the energy of others is so strong it can make me go nearly insane. One big facet of borderline personality is an unclear sense of self. I can’t be in a relationship because days into one I’ll have a flip and think, What the hell am I doing? I don’t like this person! and I’ll bail. Some days I see through the eyes of a poorly evolved person; other days I am lost in the glory of Spirit’s sight. It is a true gift but also a curse because I can’t fit into this human world. I don’t expect you to cure me. I know this is my fate. I just want to know if someone like me can find peace between the two worlds I inhabit, or if I will always struggle. Thanks for listening, Soul Arcanum.
Your friend wading through the unseen worlds with her pants hitched up…
Ingrid

Dear Ingrid:

It sounds like you’re a highly sensitive, empathic person. All empaths have an unclear sense of personal boundaries; this is what enables them to feel what other people are feeling.

I recommend you resist being labeled, for you are so much more than BPD or any other abstract idea. Not long ago, you would have been seen to have an impulsive, sensitive, perhaps artistic nature, but no one would have considered you mentally ill. My sense is that you are able to basically function in life, so I would take a spiritual perspective on your struggles instead of accepting a medical diagnosis like this one.

As for whether or not you will always struggle, it’s important to remember that you have the power to create what you want in your life. Much of what you’re dealing with is challenging for all human beings. We are all affected by other people’s emotional energies; some of us are just more affected than others, or are more aware that those vibes are originating outside of us.

Your relationship issues are also pretty normal. They may be a bit more dramatic for you, or perhaps you are extra self-aware and able to observe yourself in relationships and question why you do the things you do. It is important for empaths to realize that sometimes the emotional swings they experience result from shifts between their own feelings and the feelings of others. For example, if someone really likes us and feels good around us, and we tune in to their emotions, we will feel really good around them too. When we later center in our own truth, we may feel very different. So learning how to stay centered in your own emotional truth is key.

As for creating what you want in your life, it sounds to me like you are already on a path to greater spiritual growth and positive change. You are highly sensitive, self-aware, and clearly desirous of a higher level of experience. You know that you want to find a greater sense of peace, and you are manifesting answers and guidance from the Universe, such as this very article. So in my view, there is no need to feel wrong, incomplete or hopeless; things are not so bad, and they’re getting better all the time.

Ultimately, this is a matter of emotional and psychic control. When we get out of balance in terms of development, we experience struggles like those you describe. For example, when someone is centered in their lower chakras, they may work like crazy but without planning or foresight. Someone who is centered in their heads will tend to be overly rational and analytical, and out of touch with their bodies, hearts and spirits.

In your case, you seem to be at the mercy of your own and others’ emotional energy. Since it’s never wise to repress or deny your feelings, in order to create a better sense of balance, you need to bring other aspects of your being up to speed.

On a physical level, this may mean getting more grounded, strong and healthy. Since you also need to learn how to control emotional energy (your own as well as the psychic energy of others), training in a martial art like Chi Gong may prove very helpful. This will also strengthen your aura, which is your natural defense against outside psychic influences. Yoga would also help you get centered energetically and give you a way to find a calm center within whenever you start to feel frazzled or overwhelmed.

On a mental level, meditation should prove perfect for you, since you need to find a way to get calm and gain control of your emotions. By strengthening your mind, you will learn to control your impulses and also become more aware of what is yours energetically versus what is coming from other people.

On a spiritual level, I recommend learning how to control your psychic sensitivity, and developing greater faith. To control your sensitivity, you must get centered within yourself. When a sensitive person lacks a strong sense of self-awareness and self-control, they’re like a tree without a deep, strong root system: with the slightest breeze they can be blown right over. If you get grounded and centered in your own truth, self-awareness and sense of well-being, you’ll develop personal strength from within. Then no matter how the wind may blow around you, nothing will topple you.

This is all about learning how to set your own tone. This means you decide how you want to feel and you consciously cultivate that vibration from within. Basically, you are deciding who you want to be and how you want to feel, and you are consciously generating that vibration and radiating it outward instead of soaking up the energies all around you.

You can still be sensitive and helpful to others if you do this; in fact, you can be far more helpful. For example, to save someone who is drowning, you don’t want to dive into the water and start drowning yourself; you want to remain stable on the shore, throw them a lifeline, and then pull them in. When you are rooted in a high vibration, you can lift those who are struggling up to a higher state of being.

Faith is absolutely essential, for when you have faith that all is well and everything happens for a good reason, you can remain centered in your higher self even when others are going down. When your faith is sound, you can feel compassion for others without having to literally feel their pain. Some people think they are better healers or counselors if they are empathic, but I disagree: two people in pain is NOT better than one. It’s better to have one person in pain and a caring person who is feeling great who can lift the one who is hurting to higher ground.

Finally, despite what many people may tell you, I encourage you to let go of the idea that you need to be protected from other people’s energy. I know that because you are sensitive, you often feel overwhelmed, but that’s mainly because you resist intense energies out of fear. You’ve been overwhelmed for a long time, and you’ve survived just fine. Instead of trying to protect yourself from intense, dramatic or unsettling energies, RELAX. Trust that everything is and will be fine. Send love to everything and everyone. This will reverse the flow of energy, so instead of being bombarded by others’ feelings, you will radiate your own vibration outward. Divine love will then flow through you, which will make you feel wonderful and may help others in many ways as well.

– Soul Arcanum

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TMJ: A Common Problem for Spiritual Seekers

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on TMJ: A Common Problem for Spiritual Seekers

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Recently I suddenly developed a problem with TMSoul Arcanum Sometimes I wake up in the morning and my jaw hurts so badly that I can hardly open my mouth, much less chew. While I’m planning on seeing my dentist about this, I have a feeling that it’s not so much a physical problem as an emotional one. Do you think this could be something emotional in nature, and if so, what should I do?
– Stacy

Dear Stacy:

There are of course physical reasons you could suddenly have developed TMJ, so I’m glad you’re going to have this checked out by a medical professional. However, based on personal experience, I believe that TMJ is one of those conditions that almost always has connections to deeper psychological issues.

As with all discomfort and disease, TMJ is a sign that something is out of balance. That may be your physical jaw, especially if you’ve had orthodontic work done recently, or chronic problems with your bite. Usually, however, a sudden problem with TMJ reflects an imbalance in your inner world, which is probably a reaction to some imbalance in your outer experience.

For those who aren’t familiar, let’s review some TMJ basics. TMJ stands for temporomandibular joint, and is characterized by pain in the jaw, ear and head (including migraines), popping or clicking of the jaw, and pain on chewing or opening the mouth. Most TMJ sufferers grind their teeth at night, and many believe that this grinding is what causes the pain. It is estimated that about 10 percent of the population suffers from TMJ, so this is a very common problem. It’s also far more common in women than men, which makes sense when we examine its emotional roots.

When we repress our feelings, the energy of those feelings gets stuck in the body, which creates tension. In particular, TMJ tends to crop up when we hold back on acknowledging or expressing anger and frustration. It’s thus no accident that TMJ affects women more than men, for women have been socialized to believe it is bad to get angry and much worse to express it.

TMJ sufferers also tend to have other personality traits that would lead them to deny their anger or avoid expressing their displeasure. For example, they tend to be highly conscientious folks who try very hard to be “good people.” As this is also a characteristic of “spiritual” folks, many people who are actively pursuing personal growth suffer from TMJ or related syndromes at some point.

This arises because we believe that we “should” be above getting angry � that we should be perpetually serene, forgiving and compassionate. Thus when we are taken for granted or mistreated in relationships, we may tell ourselves that we should be fine with doing most of the giving. Whether it’s legitimate or not, whenever something begins to make us angry, we may deny we’re angry or bite our tongues (and thus hurt ourselves) to avoid hurting others.

All of this is happening on a subconscious level, of course, which is why people with TMJ grind their teeth at night instead of during the day. When we’re really struggling with a problem, we may say that we’re “chewing on it.” Well, TMJ is like emotional chewing. When we grind our teeth at night or unconsciously clench our jaws, it’s because we’re subconsciously chewing on something that we don’t want to face on a conscious level.

This is exactly what was going on in my life when TMJ struck for me. I was indeed angry, but whenever something upset me, I would try to ignore it and just focus on the positive. (I truly thought this was going to prove wise, for I know that what we focus upon expands in our lives.) I then developed IBS, and several months later, after I had managed to get that healed, TMJ struck.

The night before my first TMJ episode, I’d had something of a breakdown in which I exploded with anger over the way I felt someone was mistreating my stepdaughter. I was really surprised at myself, but quickly realized why I was so enraged: I had been in my stepdaughter’s shoes myself many times when I was young. In fact, our situations were uncannily similar, so watching my stepdaughter suffer reawakened my own buried anger from the past. I truly believed that I had dealt with all those feelings, healed and moved on, but apparently, I was wrong!

At this time, I had also gotten in the habit of avoiding conflict in general in the name of keeping the peace and being what I thought was a “nice” person. I was thus biting my tongue and holding back my truth several times a day. This is exactly the sort of thing that leads to TMSoul Arcanum

Given all of the above, here are some good questions to ask yourself when TMJ strikes out of the blue:

If I WERE angry about something, what might it be?
What is my relationship to anger in general?
What do I do with my anger?
If I were going to really let someone have it and tell them exactly what I really think, who would it be, and what would I say? 

Anger itself is not a problem: the problem is what we do with our anger. People repress anger for all sorts of reasons. They may consider themselves too nice, evolved or logical to get angry. Some people actually feel they have no right to get angry (or be truly happy for that matter.)

Others are deeply afraid of anger both in others and in themselves. My mother was bi-polar, and when I was a child, she didn’t get angry – she would be calm one moment and violently enraged the next. As a result of many traumatic early experiences, I learned to squelch the embers of conflict and anger as soon as I felt a trace of heat.

Dr. John E. Sarno, author of The Mind-Body Prescription, considers many psychosomatic pain disorders like IBS, TMJ, and chronic neck/shoulder pain to be part of something called Tension Myositis Syndrome. This is basically tension in the body’s muscles, which leads to restricted blood flow and chronic pain. According to Dr. Sarno, simply becoming conscious of the repressed emotions that may be behind your physical pain is the most powerful thing you can do to affect healing. With this in mind, you might seek help from a hypnotherapist or conventional talk therapist.

In addition to becoming conscious of repressed energies and emotions, anything that helps you to release stress and tension can ease your discomfort. Many bodyworkers are familiar with the causes of TMJ and related syndromes, so you might try massage, craniosacral therapy, acupuncture or myofascial therapy. Anything that relaxes you would help, and many people report that they can keep pain and tension at bay through regular meditation and yoga practice.

Finally, you have to love and trust yourself enough to own your true feelings, and find a way to honor them without hurting others OR yourself.

– Soul Arcanum

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