Tag Archive: dying


The Opposite of Grief: Reuniting with Someone from a Past Life

Filed Under: Afterlife, Death and Dying, Destiny/Higher Plan, Emotional Well-being, Healing, Past Lives, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on The Opposite of Grief: Reuniting with Someone from a Past Life

 

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My husband of six years passed away two years ago after a long battle with cancer. I have been blessed with sensing his presence at times, and with truly believing he is free from suffering and I will see him again someday. Nevertheless, I can’t seem to move on. Maybe I’m just not sure where to go from here. I’m in my mid-thirties, we had no children together, and I have a satisfying career. Despite all the good things in my life, it feels like I’ve already had the best love had to offer me. I would appreciate any advice you could give me.
– Brenda

Dear Brenda:

I’d like to share a personal experience with you.

When I was a young woman, my first love died very suddenly. There are many amazing spiritual stories surrounding that event, but there is one in particular that is relevant here.

A few days after Todd died, I awoke in the middle of the night in a panic. I was burning up with heat and gasping for breath, and as I opened my eyes, I could see the room was filled with smoke. Assuming the house was on fire, and I catapulted out of bed and flew across the hall, where I pounded on my parents’ door yelling, “Fire! Fire!”

My father was at the door in a flash with a fire extinguisher in his hand, shouting, “Where? Where?” As I turned and looked back into my room, the smoke was gone. There was nothing there. Speechless, I mumbled something like, “It was there, I swear…”

For three nights in a row I was awakened the same way. The second night I actually repeated my frantic scramble for help. (My father did NOT make it to the door nearly as quickly that time). The third night I forced myself to sit still in bed, and as I did so, the smoke dissipated before my eyes.

Many years later, I am now married to the love of my life. I don’t have room here to go into all the incredible details of how we found each other, but it was definitely preordained. The important thing to note is that I have found even greater love than I lost long ago – and with a firefighter. It took me nearly 20 years to figure out those “fire” experiences in the night, but I now believe that Todd was trying to give me a sign that I would find true love again, and how it would come to me.

When our grief over someone’s passing has subsided but we still feel empty, I believe we are wise to focus on just what Todd was trying to shift my attention to: all the people we have yet to meet whom we already love so well. We must remember that just as death is inevitable, life is ever leading us back to people we have loved in other lives. The cure for your emptiness is deciding to reconnect with these kindred spirits.

Also, while I believe that grief is totally natural, I think we have developed some unhealthy ways of dealing with it. Some people, for example, assume that the devastation they feel when someone dies must indicate that death is indeed a horrible and final end.

As I see it, grief is a natural response to the end of anything we have loved well. It’s normal to be sad when we are leaving some person, place or era that has held a lot of happiness for us. Ironically, it’s my understanding that many souls feel some grief about leaving the spirit world to incarnate here on Earth, which makes our grief over doing the reverse seem a bit overblown. It’s focusing on the past that causes us pain; at some point, it only makes sense to shift our attention to all the possibilities on the horizon.

Every time someone we love departs our experience, it creates room in our lives for someone else who is just as special. Too often people feel that they are somehow betraying a departed loved one by loving someone else. I say that by holding themselves back from new love, they may betray someone they have loved just as deeply in another life, whom they have yet to meet again in this one. Just think: what if you had met someone else prior to meeting your husband, and when that person died, you closed yourself off from new love?

Romance aside, there are many people you have loved in other lives who are waiting to love you again, and I think you owe it to all of those loved ones to stay open to creating new happiness with them. For example, I have done readings for parents who had lost a child, and to whom that same soul had already returned in the form a new baby. It often takes such parents years to recognize the departed child in the younger sibling. Eventually when the child begins to talk, however, they will do things or say things evidential of their true identity. Some children will even refer to the “last time” they were here, before they died in some manner, when they were so and so, etc. Then those parents realize that they have spent years grieving for a child who was sitting right beside them!

I have similarly read for number of widows and widowers who say that they will never fall in love again, and been shown an even greater love for them in the future. This is always a love that already exists, and usually it is with someone they have loved even more deeply and truly than the person they say they will never get over. I think it’s exciting to know that for each one of us, there are many people out there whom we have been missing on an unconscious level and have yet to meet up with again in this lifetime.

While big reunions between souls are often destined to happen at certain junctures, there are some things you can do to reconnect with as many people you’ve loved in other lives as possible. Here are a few:

  • Act on your impulses to go certain places and speak to certain people.
  • Stay open to meeting new people and letting them get close to you.
  • Call or contact people who frequently come to mind, for often these are relationships you are being guided to pursue.
  • Accept invitations from strangers you feel drawn to.
  • Honor your hunches and feelings about seemingly unrelated matters, such as which job you will take and where you will live. Often we are led to meet important people through such decisions.

Here are a few signs that you’re in the presence of someone you have loved before:

  • You have a very strange feeling, or it seems like time stands still when you first meet them.
  • They seem vaguely familiar or you feel unusually drawn to them.
  • The way you meet is surrounded by lots of synchronicity, like you were guided or destined to find each other.
  • You can see certain turning points or incidents in the past that are strongly connected to this meeting or to this person. For example, my ex-husband said that for his entire life, he’d had a picture in his mind of his “ideal girl.” He thought this was just a fantasy until he met me and discovered that the girl with that face actually existed.
  • Other people in your life are strongly connected to someone you feel an instant sense of kinship with. For example, if you have a strong feeling of familiarity upon meeting your brother’s fiance, it could mean that you’re GOING to know her in the future, but it could also mean you’ve known and loved her in another life. Since we reincarnate in soul groups, it’s common for there to be strong connections between your loved ones.
  • This relationship seems to have a life of its own – it just happens.

As I see it, my friend, the future is rich with exciting opportunities to love again. Please do remember that the karmic bond you feel to people from past lives is no more special just because it began in another time and place. As a very wise song goes, if you can’t be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with. You could create the most magnificent relationship EVER with someone you meet for the first time today.

– Soul Arcanum

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How Important Is It to Save a Life?

Filed Under: Death and Dying, Destiny/Higher Plan, Karma by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How Important Is It to Save a Life?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Recently there was much in the news about the death of David Sharp and the near death of another hiker to the Mt. Everest Summit. David Sharp was returning from the summit when he ran out of oxygen. Forty hikers went past him that day but only one stopped: Inglis, a double amputee who was determined to be the first amputee to make it to the summit of Mt. Everest. He determined that David was so far gone that it was not worth using any of his oxygen to revive him; he also really wanted to achieve his own goal. Sir Edmund Hillary has denounced this attitude by stating it is more important to help someone survive than to reach the summit. The blogs have been full of folks agreeing with Sir Edmund Hillary, or stating that anyone who chooses to reach Mt. Everest’s summit does so at their own risk, and it is not fair to ask or assume others will help you out when all are under extreme survival conditions. To me there seems to be an obvious lack of humanity, compassion and morality here. Why? Are we a doomed race? I would like to know your spiritual view on this matter. Should we not do all we can to save a life?
– Betsy

Dear Betsy:

This controversy illuminates why life in the physical is such a powerful spiritual learning experience, for it is just this sort of event that makes everyone question the basic nature of right and wrong.

Of course, it’s one thing to ponder such decisions from the comfort of our living rooms, and another to be faced with them in reality. Until we are in such a situation, we do not truly know what we would do. Often those who believe they would be heroic are disappointed in themselves, and those who haven’t given such matters much thought rise to the occasion.

I believe that a “spiritual” view will naturally be a bit lighter than a physically oriented perspective. Instead of condemnation of anyone in particular, a spiritual view will encompass compassion for all parties. It will also reflect the truth that we are more than physical beings – that each body is just a temporary vehicle for exploring and experiencing life on earth. Someone coming from a spiritual perspective will certainly cherish life but at the same time view death as a natural transition into a new state of being.

There are lots of factors that may influence how an individual may feel about death at any given time. People of great faith may view the shedding of a disabled or diseased body as a blessing. Even deeply spiritual people, however, can have a strong attachment to survival when they believe they are needed here on Earth. Someone who isn’t so spiritual or who doesn’t believe in life after death would of course tend to view the loss of physical life as a tragedy, and thus believe that we should go to every effort possible to prolong it. So as we contemplate others’ moral decisions, we must remember that each one of us has different views and needs, largely because each one of us is learning what we need to learn.

As for this particular situation, I believe that even if David were too far gone to survive physically, I would have stopped and prayed with him or done whatever I could to comfort his soul – but then, I’m a minister. It would never occur to me that reaching the top of some mountain could be more important than showing a dying man compassion. Then again, I would never try to reach the top of Everest anyway – not unless you told me there was an intergalactic angel convention at the summit – in which case you’d better stand back!

Which brings me to my next point: people who try to climb Everest are an extreme lot. They trek to the summit BECAUSE it is perilous. Death strikes frequently on Everest’s frozen slopes; in fact, David Sharp was the seventh person to die this year alone. If it were not so risky, these climbers would be somewhere else, doing something more dangerous.

I researched this story, and as it turns out, David Sharp was sorely ill-equipped and unprepared. Further, Inglis, the double amputee you mentioned, had such bad frostbite on his hands that his fingertips will probably have to be removed; he also became a double amputee when his lower extremities were severely frostbitten during a prior expedition in 1982. Despite losing his legs to Everest years ago, he still keeps climbing! It seems to me that these climbers can in no way be said to represent the general spiritual state of humanity – they’re nuts, and probably proud of it. I don’t think we can view the whole world as gone bad based on the choices of a small group of crazy people who are obsessed with an extreme goal.

I also read that another climber, Dawas, did all he could to try to save David. David was near the summit and unable to help himself in any way when Dawas found him. Dawas radioed for help, gave David oxygen, spent an hour trying to get David to stand and move, and when nothing worked, he finally decided he had to leave him – and he did so crying all the while. Further, despite his proximity to the top, he did not summit the mountain himself because he’d given his oxygen to David. If I’m going to take any example of the state of humanity from this story, I think I will focus on the selfless compassion of Dawas.

Even David Sharp’s mother said that her son responsible for his own survival, and she does not blame other climbers for failing to save him. If I did something like try to climb Everest, I too would do it with full understanding of how dangerous this undertaking was, and I would not expect anyone else to risk their lives or sacrifice their greatest dream in order to help me. It is one thing to be doing something ordinary and end up in a pickle that requires you to be rescued, and quite another to undertake a dangerous adventure because it gives you a thrill, and then expect others to risk their lives racing to your aid when you get in a bind – ESPECIALLY if you have failed to plan and prepare adequately.

There are many wonderful souls in the world, and there are many who have yet to evolve into active care and compassion for others. Don’t let those younger souls get you down. They’re still learning what they need to learn, just as we are still learning what we need to learn. Allowing events that are so appalling they are newsworthy to color your general view of humanity is like deciding the whole world is populated by short, chubby people based on your visits to a preschool classroom!

I do understand how you feel, however. When one reaches a certain level of spiritual development, it can feel like we’re the only grownup in a crowded party full of teenagers. When disillusionment or indignation creep in, we must humbly remember that we were once in others’ spiritual shoes. No doubt there are many people far more enlightened than we are who would view our own decisions as spiritually sophomoric.

The bottom line is that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to big moral decisions. That’s why we must learn how to think for ourselves, listen within for guidance, act on the truth we find in our own hearts, and trust that others will do the same. Humanity has been shown the greatest respect in the gift of our free will. If God trusts us to choose for ourselves and to learn the “hard way” when necessary, we are wise to strive to emulate this faith in human nature by allowing others to choose for themselves as well.

Of course, we can also learn from others’ experiences – which is just what you are trying to do – and in this way, we can turn life’s tragedies into opportunities to cultivate greater personal wisdom.

May you find something of meaning and value in all of your experiences!

– Soul Arcanum

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Is It Harder to Communicate with the Spirits of Suicides?

Filed Under: Afterlife, Death and Dying, Energy/Vibration, Intuitive Development, Psychic Ability, Relationships, Spirit Communication, Spirits by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Is It Harder to Communicate with the Spirits of Suicides?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Last September my husband took his own life. I am spiritually evolved in many ways, but have questioned my beliefs about death since the day he died. I have been able to communicate with souls that have passed over for family members here, such as my husband’s grandfather, but I’m not sure if I’ve been able to reach my husband because I wonder if I want so badly to have him with me that I’m imagining things. What do you think? Also, how does suicide affect spirit communication? I’m unsure what I believe anymore. Thank you very much for your time. Namaste!
– Chelle

Dear Chelle:

My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how hard it must be to heal from a loss of this nature. Before I explore general ideas, I want to tell you that I feel that your husband is trying hard to connect with you, and it is only your own pain and doubt that is keeping these experiences from being more real and fulfilling for you.

As I’ve explained a number of times, having a strong desire to connect with a certain spirit is very powerful, but if we pressure ourselves to produce, it may just hinder us. This is why I may bring through great evidence from spirits for strangers, but will have a harder time bringing through loved ones for people I know. When I feel I “must” succeed, I know I tend to stretch for evidential details more, which causes me to question everything I perceive more stringently. I also expect more of myself and my own loved ones in Spirit than I do of strangers, and this bogs the whole spirit communication process down.

It can be very confusing, disappointing, and even disillusioning to receive clear, evidential communication from a casual acquaintance in Spirit, and not be able to connect with your own spouse, parent or child. In such cases, however, we are almost always the source of whatever is preventing successful interaction. Our vibration may be too low due to grief, we may be too invested in making a connection, or we may doubt everything we perceive both because messages from those we were very close to tend to be more subtle, and because we know we are prone to wishful thinking.

While most people who are grieving tend to see even the smallest coincidences as signs from a loved one in Spirit, lots of us go too far the other way, and refuse to accept as valid anything less than a full blown miracle. We must remember that EVERYTHING we experience in life is ultimately a result of “wishful thinking,” and trust the power of our desire as much as we do the discernment of our intellects.

In light of all of this, I encourage you to trust that the experiences you’re having are real and valid. By trusting them, you will be able to cultivate clearer, more validating experiences with your husband, who probably just wants you to understand why he did what he did and forgive him.

As for suicides in general, and how this act may affect spirit communication, it all depends on that person’s motivation for taking their own life, for that will greatly affect where they end up on the other side. If you think about it, there are what we might call “degrees” of suicide.

For example, it seems to me that a soldier who throws himself on a grenade to save his comrades is way ahead of your average American couch potato, who is slowly killing himself with junk food, inactivity and cigarettes. The first man is demonstrating great reverence for the gift of life by sacrificing himself in order that a number of others may go on living, while the second man is demonstrating a profound lack of appreciation for his physical existence. Given all the “suicide” possibilities we might imagine in between, it’s easy to see how each individual’s motivations would greatly affect what happens when they get to the afterlife.

Further, when we cross over, how we have lived will be far more important than how we have died. A person’s general nature will greatly affect their ability to reach through from Spirit, regardless of how they passed. Someone who was highly conscious, intelligent, sane, positive, grateful, kind and spiritual in life will tend to be easy to communicate with on the other side. It’s like we each carry our own torch into the afterlife in the form of our spirits. If we are radiant with light, we can see far and are empowered to do much more than if we are stumbling through darkness.

People who were unconscious, ignorant, insane, negative, ungrateful, selfish, and cynical or disbelieving while alive will be much harder to communicate with when they cross into Spirit, as they will be in dark, murky territory. If their lights are very dim, they can’t see to do much. Some even reincarnate without regaining consciousness in the afterlife.

As we continue on in death much as we were in life, two of the most rewarding and powerful traits we can cultivate are a strong, positive belief in Spirit and knowledge of spiritual principles. The more we focus upon and center our lives on higher spiritual values, the lighter and freer we’ll be in the spirit realm.

Now, when most of us hear the word suicide, we don’t think of military heroes or couch potatoes, of course: we think of someone who was of sound body and mind who became depressed and lost hope of ever turning their lives around. As these people were in mental and emotional hell while living, they tend to continue to be in mental and emotional hell when they cross over. Contrary to some religious teachings, this suffering is not a punishment, but arises from natural spiritual law. It is no more imposed upon them than the hell they created for themselves while alive.

These sorts of spirits tend to be as hard to get through to in the afterlife as they were when they were living, at least until they attain a higher state of mind. Such spirits often become earthbound, and continue to wander in the inner darkness and confusion that led them to take their lives in the first place. The lessons they were supposed to learn while living are still on their metaphorical “to-do” lists, but they have no clear way to complete those tasks, and thus we might say they have “unfinished business.” They do not remain like this forever, of course. When they realize how precious life is, they begin to “see the light.”

It takes a lot of focus and energy for any spirit to communicate inter-dimensionally. While it does happen, someone who couldn’t summon the will to live is unlikely to pull that sort of personal power together. Sometimes, however, suicides are shocked to find they still exist, and realize that killing themselves just made things worse. They may then want nothing more than to tell us they are sorry and urge us not to follow in their footsteps. When they witness how much pain they’ve caused those they love, they may be overwhelmed with remorse, and go to great lengths to seek forgiveness. As we pray for them and send them love, we bathe them in light, which can help them quickly rise in vibration and understanding, and move on to higher planes.

Again, I feel that your husband is not lost on the other side, but is definitely trying to reach you. Keep praying for him and visualize him being flooded by divine light. It will help him to heal, which will empower him to connect with you in a more fulfilling way. I know it’s hard and you have your own healing to work through, but try to have compassion for how much he must have been suffering to take his own life, and offer him your forgiveness if you can.

I’m sending you prayers for love and healing, my friend.

– Soul Arcanum

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What Will Matter Most in the Afterlife?

Filed Under: Afterlife by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on What Will Matter Most in the Afterlife?

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Dear Soul Arcanum:

I would love to hear your views on what will be considered most important in the afterlife. Thank you!
– Dale

Dear Dale:

Thanks for this fantastic question!

There is a tremendous amount of writing on this subject, and all the sources I personally trust and respect are in accord. These sources include the accounts of near death experiencers, astral projectors like Robert Monroe who explore the realms of the afterlife while living, and the wisdom of spiritual masters such as Jesus Christ, Edgar Cayce, Emanuel Swedenborg, Helen Blavatsky and many more.

These sources all agree that the most important thing in the Universe is love. As was written in Corinthians 1:13, “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” The more divine love we embody while living, the greater our experience will be both here AND beyond.

There are places on this Earth that are rife with violence, ugliness, hatred, poverty and suffering, and the same is true in the afterlife. There are also places on Earth that are rich with peace, beauty, love, abundance and joy, and this is also true in the afterlife.

The inner state of being we have attained at the end of our lives is what we take with us when we die and what determines the quality of our afterlife experience. The truth that like attracts like is direct and obvious in the astral because when we cross over, we can no longer hide our true thoughts and feelings. If we are rich with inner beauty, then we will enter a beautiful realm inhabited by lovely spirits.

By contrast, those souls who are “heaviest” or lowest in vibration may become earthbound spirits. They may not even realize they have died as they hover close to this dimension in a state of endless yearning or confusion. (This is probably where our ideas about hell come from.) If we pass on with strong physical addictions to things like drugs, alcohol, food, sex and so on, we may continue to pursue gratification vicariously through the living. If we cross over with a great deal of fear or confusion, we may also end up lost in the lower astral. There is much help ever available to such spirits, and eventually, they do wake up, turn toward the light and move on.

Many souls skip over the lower astral and enter what some call “the void” when they cross over. This void is actually within us, and throughout our lives we are filling it with all the love, anger, joy, sorrow, faith, fear, wisdom, knowledge (etc.) we experience. (We are forming our own afterlife experience right now!) When we depart this life for the afterlife, many of us go into this void where we begin to purify ourselves of our lowest, heaviest energies first.

During this time, if we have a habit of being self-centered, cynical or unforgiving, we will find ourselves surrounded by other souls who are similar. As we experience our own true self reflected back to us, we will gain the desire and awareness we need to change, and naturally gravitate toward souls that reflect our new and “improved” nature. This is why the greatest spiritual teachers throughout history have advised us above all to “know thyself.”

If we are basically good at heart, we can skip right past the dark corners of the astral and go directly toward vibrationally higher worlds via something that appears to be a tunnel of light. This is when our spiritual knowledge and beliefs become paramount, for our expectations about death, heaven, hell, etc., largely determine where we will end up in the heavens. (There are religious communities in the afterlife just like there are religious communities here on Earth.)

These are illusionary realms where we only see and hear what we believe to be true. Just as ignorance and close-mindedness limit our potential while living, they limit our freedom and power in the afterlife. To set ourselves free of these limitations, we must question everything and search for deeper truths. This is why a key component of spiritual growth is the pursuit of spiritual knowledge and wisdom.

Think about it: people who accept religious dogma without question end up following a bunch of rules that may or may not have any true spiritual value. They may spend entire lifetimes trying to be spiritually “good” and never realize that they’re way off track. For example, the September 11 terrorists sincerely believed that they were attacking “evil” and would be rewarded in heaven. To transcend religious blindness, we must make a habit of questioning everything and keep our minds and hearts open to the divine knowing that can only be found within and through direct personal experience.

In addition to love and wisdom, there is a quality I believe is very important at a spiritual level that is often overlooked, and that is the quality of inner strength or persistence. We tend to view persistence as essential to worldly success, and fail to see how it is also essential to what we might call spiritual success. Perhaps this is because Christianity has made us feel like passive recipients of divine grace instead of the agents of our own healing, “saving” and evolution.

Depression, for example, has come to be viewed as a medical illness, and while it does have physical aspects, it is at its roots a spiritual illness. I used to suffer from depression and I know how “disabling” this state of mind can be. While I believe that modern lifestyles may breed depression, I have learned that it is fueled by self-absorption, which is antagonistic to selfless love.

More and more people are suffering from depression because on the whole, humanity has become less community-focused and more self-absorbed. When we are grateful and loving, we naturally extend our light out into the world and try to uplift others. When we’re depressed, we curl up inside ourselves and become indifferent to others’ needs. It is wise and powerful to be profoundly grateful for life itself, and depression is at the opposite end of the spectrum from gratitude. Feeling sorry for ourselves or viewing ourselves as weak victims of bad luck, biochemistry, or other outer circumstances may thus be as bad for us spiritually as lashing out in anger toward others.

Each of us could come up with reasons why we could be depressed, but people who are wise choose to look on the bright side. When we get down and discouraged we must discipline our minds to think in ways that leave us grateful. When we are frustrated, we must squeeze out a bit more patience. When we are tired and feel like giving up, we must find the strength to keep on trying. When we think we have reached the limits of our capacity to love, we must dig deeper into our hearts for the strength and courage to go on loving. There is no one watching over our shoulders, mind you; only we know if we are doing our bests, and only we will experience the repercussions of our choices. So long as we are honestly doing our bests, we will be happy with ourselves in the end.

We can make tremendous spiritual progress here on Earth, for all we may think we have learned is truly put to the test here. It is wise to simply live in awareness that when we feel dull, lazy, depressed, angry, vengeful or sorry for ourselves, we are creating more darkness for ourselves in the future. When we radiate love, joy, kindness, gratitude and peace, we are creating more light for ourselves in the future. By stretching our hearts to love more, our minds to know and understand more, and our spirits to radiate more peace and light, we raise our own vibration and improve our lives both here and Beyond.

– Soul Arcanum

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What Happens as We Prepare to Cross Over?

Filed Under: Afterlife, Death and Dying, Spirit Communication, Spirits by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on What Happens as We Prepare to Cross Over?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’m not sure how to word this, but here goes. I’m currently going through what many people face sooner or later – my father is dying from prostate cancer. As I’m watching this process, I’m wondering: when someone is getting close to passing, is the veil between this life and the next thinner for them? Are they seeing or talking to those who have crossed over when they appear to be incoherent or talking nonsense? When they seem to be staring at “nothing,” are they seeing beings we aren’t aware of in the room? As I watch this dying process, I’m hoping that my father is getting some spiritual comfort. If you can explain what actually happens as someone’s spirit is getting ready to exit their earthly body, I’m sure it would comfort not only me, but also everyone who reads your answer. Thank you!

Rosanne

Dear Rosanne:

It’s my understanding that most of the time, both the process of entering a physical body at birth and exiting it at death are gradual. We are given the opportunity to become acclimated to the new plane we are entering, whether that is this physical dimension or the metaphysical dimension of the afterlife.

I first realized that this is how it happens when I had my second child. As I had awakened psychically with my first pregnancy, I was far more spiritually aware the second time around, and this led to some startling experiences and insights.

For example, before I got pregnant, one day I consciously realized that a spirit had been sort of hovering in the back of my psychic awareness for a couple of months. This presence had “moved in” so quietly and was so often present that I had never really noticed it before.

When I realized that “someone” was there and I mentally asked who it was, I was made to understand that this was the spirit of my future baby. This actually “gave me” the idea of having another child, and I just knew it was time to conceive. When I realized this, my husband and I stopped using birth control, and I immediately got pregnant.

Throughout that pregnancy, I was surprised to note that same spirit’s presence – OUTSIDE of my body. As the pregnancy progressed, however, I noticed that the spirit was “outside” of me less and less. Where she was I didn’t know, however, for I couldn’t feel her spirit’s presence inside of me; I could only sense it when it was on the “outside.”

This was very unexpected. It led me to research and explore the question of when a soul enters a body (and for that matter, leaves it.) One popular spiritual belief is that the soul enters the body of the fetus upon quickening (when the baby first kicks), which happens around the fifth month. However, I could feel my daughter’s spirit outside of me long after quickening, so perhaps that is simply the first time the soul enters the body.

Other research and experiences have led me to believe that our earliest days in the physical (when we’re in the womb, and even when we’re newborns) involve a lot of “out of body” experiences. We frequently move back and forth between the non-physical and the physical as we prepare for life on this plane.

I’ve explained all of this because the reverse happens when we die a natural death (by which I mean a death that is not sudden or “accidental”). As our physical bodies begin to shut down, we begin to spend more and more time in our non-physical bodies, exploring the dimension that will soon be our new “home.”

This is very much like moving into a new house. As we make trips between the old house and the new one, there are times when there seems to be a lot of activity in the new house. That’s when we’re there, getting acclimated. There are also lots of times when the new house is dark and quiet because we’re over at the old house, packing up.

With birth, quickening is like when we get those keys to the new house and go over and flip on the lights at the new place. This doesn’t mean that we stay in the house from that point forward. We’re still making trips back and forth between the old place and the new one, bringing the things we’ll need over.

Even after we’re born, however, we won’t always be fully present in the new place. There are times (such as when we’re sleeping or out of the body) when we won’t be “home.” In fact, whenever we’re really “spaced out,” we’re not fully in our bodies. It’s like we’re “out back” in the yard, where we may not hear someone knocking at the door, trying to get our full attention.

I don’t know that the veil is thinner between this world and the next when someone is dying, though that certainly may be the case. I do believe that pregnancy creates sort of a vortex between this world and spiritual planes, so death certainly may do the same thing. Regardless, the behavior you’re describing of “talking nonsense” and staring at “nothing,” is definitely common of the dying, both because they are awakening to a new dimension and because the process of death draws lots of “moving help” from loved ones and guides in Spirit.

Just imagine all those loved ones who have moved from the old neighborhood to a new one when they hear the news that someone dear to them is about to arrive. They’re naturally excited and anxious to reunite with this “dying” person, and so they rally around them to help. The dying person may thus have all sorts of “visits” or encounters with non-physical beings, and when they return to this plane, they may tell us what and who they saw while they were “out.”

We of course can’t visit that new neighborhood with them until we prepare to move there ourselves (by dying) – unless we develop the ability to perceive subtle energies. A psychic or medium, for example, is someone who is fully rooted in the physical dimension but who has developed the ability to perceive that which lies beyond and beneath it. Such a person may be able to sense the spirits who visit the dying person.

Because there is a lot of spiritual activity surrounding transitions, it’s not unusual for someone to discover their own psychic inclinations at such a time. If they’re clairvoyant, they may actually see the astral body or “spirit” of the person depart the physical body at the moment of death, or they may see beings of light or loved ones in Spirit as they come to help that person cross over. If this is the first time this has ever happened for them, it can be a mind-blowing and life changing experience.

At the same time, when a loved one is dying, even gifted mediums may not be able to perceive much that they usually can because their vibration may be unusually low due to grief. So if you’re not seeing anything, it doesn’t necessarily mean you lack the “sight.” To try to tune in to all that is happening on a spiritual level, you just need to raise your vibration, perhaps via prayer, meditation and making peace with the death of your loved one.

Please remember that even in death (actually, especially in death), we create our own realities. Thus it is wise to expect the best, both for your sake and your father’s. I would talk to him about the beautiful reunions awaiting him and the bright new beginning he’s heading for in his “new life.” There are lots of wonderful books about near-death and between life experiences you could read to him as he’s preparing to cross over. You might start by searching amazon.com for Michael Newton, Ph.D., but I recommend you ask Spirit and your own intuition to guide you.

I wish you and yours deep peace, comfort, faith and hope.

– Soul Arcanum

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Dealing With Grief When There is Much Unfinished Business

Filed Under: Death and Dying, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Dealing With Grief When There is Much Unfinished Business

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My boyfriend of 10 months died suddenly at the end of January, 2004. His death was related to alcohol poisoning. He was an alcoholic, and had lied to me about his sobriety. We broke up in November, spoke briefly in December, but never resolved anything, though we had decided to try to be friends. I was not informed of his death until mid March, and then “by accident.” I missed the funeral and have no sense of closure. Though he was a tormented man, I loved him, and I am still having trouble coming to terms with all of this. Can you comment on any past life connection, or how to deal with the grief of the sudden passing of a loved one when there is much “unfinished business?” I have since learned that he was unable to stay sober for very long, that he had “pulled it together” and met me during one of his sober periods. I spent the last year of his life with him, and I would like to think that I brought him some happiness. He was a very difficult and moody man, and at times was abusive. He also struggled with depression, but never really got the help he needed. Thank you for your kindness in responding to this letter.
Sincerely,
Miranda

Dear Miranda:

Most people will struggle to make peace with the passing of a loved one due to unfinished business at some point in their lives. First, it’s important to realize that not every spirit will instantly become “enlightened” upon passing over. Those with negative habits that they failed to overcome during life don’t instantly shed that heavy energy, especially when those habits were more mental, emotional and spiritual than physical. (Drug addiction would arise from an inability to cope in a healthy way with life’s emotional stresses). We should not expect someone who had such problems while alive to suddenly be all love and light once on the other side.

On the other hand, relationships between many parents and children (and other family members) are often rife with misunderstandings. In those cases, the parents usually instantly see the “big picture” once on the other side, and are anxious to come through and say that nothing that they fought about with their kids was really important. They very much want their children to be happy, and want to communicate that they are proud of them and love them deeply.

I am a Spiritualist minister, and I believe Spiritualism is the answer here. It’s a wonderful source of healing for those who are trying to find peace with the passing of a loved one, whether this involves clearing up unfinished business or just knowing that those no longer here on Earth with us are okay.

There are wonderful little Spiritualist churches hidden in pockets all over the U.S. and Great Britain. I myself have been attending one in a town about a half hour away, and I have found perhaps a dozen or so other churches within an hour from my home. There are many gifted mediums and healers working out of these churches. One thing that amazes me is how few people generally attend these services, or perhaps even know about them. Given the popularity of medium John Edwards, and the fact that many local mediums are just as gifted as he is, I can only assume that folks have no idea this sort of work is readily available and happening regularly right in their own communities.

I strongly encourage anyone who is grieving to visit a Spiritualist church or a Spiritualist medium. Imagine a medium bringing through evidential information and facilitating communication that leads to closure. This is powerful healing work!

You can also pray and ask for a direct connection with a loved one. You might begin by writing a letter, and then meditate and allow your loved one to “write back to you” by writing down everything that comes to you.

For most loved ones in spirit, this will work. With your friend John and others who had mental/emotional problems, however, it may be harder for THEM to come through. People who were deeply challenged in honestly, sincerely connecting with others when living will have to work to develop those abilities in the beyond. However, others in Spirit such as spirit guides could come through and help facilitate peace and understanding.

You can also just meditate and ask to be given peace with all of this. This can lead to a heart connection (without words) with a loved one in Spirit, or it can just lead you to new peace and understanding above and beyond any connection or relationship you may have or have had with anyone else.

Also, we would all be wise to remember that it is much easier to finish our business while our loved ones are still here on the Earth plane with us. If we don’t clear it up now, we’ll have to do so eventually. Whether you meet them later in this life, the afterlife, or a future life, if you ended things on a bad note, you’ll have to clear that up. I prefer to get those weights off my heart as soon as possible.

One way we can find compassion for those who have hurt us is to ask ourselves if we would rather be “us” (and mistreated) or be the other person – so lost at a soul level that we are capable of atrocious behavior. I personally would rather be mistreated than cruel. I also like to point out that our rough pasts have made us who we are today. None of us would want to give up any of our strength or wisdom, so how we can truly regret the past?

I encourage everyone who is carrying around hurt feelings or bitterness to move toward forgiveness as soon as possible, for their own sakes. It’s the most important spiritual work we can do! So turn off the TV, put aside the lawn mower and the laundry, and make sure all your relationships are in order. Reach out with love and compassion to apologize to those you have harmed and forgive those you feel have harmed you.

I pray that you find the peace and understanding that I have found in Spiritualism’s gifts and teachings. May this whole experience lead you to new wisdom and happiness!

– Soul Arcanum

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Death is a Dream: What the “Dead” have Taught Me about the Afterlife

Filed Under: Afterlife, Death and Dying, Spirits by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Death is a Dream: What the “Dead” have Taught Me about the Afterlife

copyright Soul Arcanum LLC, 1999
The ability to communicate with those who have passed into the nonphysical or “died” gives a person a unique perspective on life and death. Working as a medium has blessed me with the opportunity to communicate with many in the spirit world. Often through the years, as clients have thanked me heartily for bringing through a loved one, I have found myself sincerely returning their gratitude for the opportunity to “meet” the spirits who came through for them. I have learned a great deal from these communications about the nature of life and “death.”

While every “death” or afterlife experience is as unique as each life experience, there are some common themes or elements to life beyond. The following article presents some basic principles based on what I’ve learned through my own experiences with spirit communication.

Most people who are grieving need to know that we continue on. If they knew this already, they wouldn’t be grieving, or at least, they wouldn’t be in emotional pain. One thing my experiences with spirit have taught me is that we do continue on beyond this physical life. I know it because I have seen and heard and felt “strangers” in spirit who showed me their lives, gave me their names, showed me how they passed on, showed me the houses they lived in while living, and/or other “evidence” that was verified by my clients in the physical.

Everything in the universe is energy, and energy can not be destroyed. It can be contained or transformed, but it never ceases to exist in some form. The best analogy I have for the afterlife is that of our dream lives. When we dream, we generally are not aware of dreaming. Our dream worlds are as real to us as our physical realities. “Strange” things happen in dreams because it is a less “physical” or dense reality than our waking world is. It is not governed by the same laws of time and space as physical reality. This is also true of the afterlife.

Where Do We Go?

Where do we go when we dream? Are we “gone?” Do we cease to exist while sleeping? Clearly this is not the case. Our minds are simply in a different state of consciousness, and our focus is on a realm of experience we are not normally conscious of while awake. This is also true of the afterlife. We continue to exist, but our consciousness is focused on a realm of existence that we are not normally aware of when in the physical.

Where we go when we die is difficult to try to imagine or convey, for the afterlife does not exist out there somewhere, in the sky, or in some far off place. The afterlife and other planes of existence (there are many) interpenetrate this plane. Even this description is inaccurate, but our language is based on presumptions of space and time. There is no physical distance between us and those we love in spirit. There are infinite parallel realities existing holographically everywhere at once. We have only to achieve energetic harmony with a plane and focus our attention there to be aware of it.

I like to use the spectrum of colors as an analogy. Our physical eyes can perceive light in frequencies that create colors between red and violet. We know that infrared exists below the red we can see, and that ultraviolet exists above this spectrum. There is light in frequencies that you can not see all around you. There are ultraviolet rays affecting and interacting with your skin cells even now, though you can’t see them. If you were able to train your eyes to see beyond the physical color spectrum, you would be able to see ultraviolet rays as color, just as you see other colors. Those who can communicate with spirits in the afterlife have trained their mental awareness to perceive that which lies beyond the physical spectrum.

How Do We Get There?

Many people wonder what happens when we die. How do we go from here to there? Is there a period of no awareness, like when we’re in deep sleep? Of course, no one can claim to have the definite answers to these questions, but what I’ve learned suggests that death is very much like life. Just as in life, our beliefs and expectations shape our experiences of the death process, and even our experiences in the next life. As in dreams and astral projection, the results of our thoughts are much more immediate than in the physical. We think something and often experience near instantaneous results, where in the physical, it takes a pattern or habit of thought, or intense emotion backing thought, to personally or consciously create experiences.

This can be both comforting and disconcerting at the same time. Many cling to religion because it holds the promise of definitive answers, and suggests that there is an absolute set of laws or rules that we can understand and follow to go to “heaven” or achieve some other aim. This idea is comforting, though a bit limiting. Knowing that we are creating our own realities and experiences can be empowering and freeing, but also scary. It’s a bit like being a child versus being an adult. If we believe someone “out there” is calling the shots and taking care of us, we may tend to feel safer but powerless. If we accept that we are creating our own lives (and deaths!) as we go along, we may feel both exhilarated and overwhelmed by the responsibility and the vastness of the potentialities.

We do create our own experiences in life through our beliefs, expectations, and interpretations of our experiences. Similarly, we create our own experiences in death. Those who believe in life after death tend to have a much smoother transition from this life to the next. They expect to continue on, and usually have a belief system that enables them to interpret their experiences. For example, the same nonphysical benevolent entity may be interpreted by one who is “dying” as an angel, Jesus, a revered ancestor, or an alien, depending on the perceiver’s belief system. Someone who does not believe in life after death may be afraid of those who come to help, or may be so blocked by disbelief that they are unable to even perceive others in spirit. Those people who expect to continue on are generally met by a loved one in spirit or another kind entity who leads them to a light, a place or a being of infinite love and peace.

The more spiritually evolved we are while living, the faster and higher we move in the nonphysical planes beyond death. Very unloving or “un-evolved” (for lack of a better term) individuals exist at the low end of the physical energetic spectrum. These are the souls that tend to become “earthbound.” Their energy is too “heavy” to abide in higher planes. These souls will either hang around in the lower astral until their energy changes, or they’ll reincarnate, evolve, and move on after more earth experiences.

Those who don’t believe we continue on, who believe they will go to hell, or who live in great fear of death, often temporarily experience “hellish” experiences. This is where our visions of hell come from. Of course, we can also create these same kinds of experiences through fear while in the physical. It’s important to understand that all of this is temporary. Just as we can go through difficult or “terrible” times while living, so too can we create the same in the afterlife. Fear fuels such experiences. The only thing to fear is truly fear itself. Those who live in such fear will continue to attract those kinds of experiences until they work through the fear, and are in harmony with a higher vibration of experience. Just as we have social workers, ministers, healers, etc…, who work with those living in “hell” in the physical, so too are there helpers and guides in the nonphysical who try to guide lost souls toward greater light and understanding.

How Does Death Change Us?

People die very much as they lived, and continue to live after death as they did in life, with the exception that death raises us above the drama of physical life, giving us the “big picture” perspective on things. If a father is angry with his son for being gay in this life, for example, this almost never carries over into the non-physical. In death, the details no longer continue to matter. That same father would see from his new perspective that it was his own fears that had fueled his anger, and he would care much more how happy and at peace his son was than about the details of his son’s life.

It’s a bit like the feelings we have when we leave a movie theater. The details of the plot don’t really continue to affect us, but we are left with a lingering feeling. Some movies uplift us, some dishearten us. Some are so beautifully executed that we are inspired. These can be comedies, action movies, love stories. The point is, if it’s well-done, we appreciate it. The same can be said of lifetimes; if a life is well-lived, even if it was full of drama, it creates an overall feeling of power and value. Even if the life/drama was about a criminal who committed heinous crimes, we can be moved and inspired if he later takes responsibility for his actions and seeks forgiveness, especially from himself.

Communicating from Beyond

Spirit once gave me a great metaphor for understanding how death changes our perceptions. The same metaphor applies to spirit communication, whether done personally or channeled through a medium. I was shown that being in the physical is like being in a thick forest. We know we want to get to the river (the river symbolizes whatever it is we’re wanting in our lives), but we’re not sure how to get there from where we are. If we rise above the level of the trees, however, and look down, we can see where we’ve been, where we’re presently headed, and most importantly, how to get to the river. In this way, loved ones in spirit are able to see the “big picture,” and guide us in our lives on earth. They also are much less “lost” themselves than when they were here, for they’ve been released from the limitations and dramas of physical life.

Mourning

Occasionally I hear from someone who very much wants communication with a loved one in spirit, but who fears that it is a sin to seek this, or fears that by grieving or reaching out, they are holding their loved one to earth. I believe that our intentions are everything, especially when it comes to spiritual matters. If our intentions are loving, and we are able to achieve what we desire, then it must be good. Actions motivated by fear tend to reap undesired results.

It’s not wise to worry about loved ones, for then we simply send negative energy toward them, imagining unwanted things for them. It is wonderful, however, to think of them and miss them with great love and appreciation. This is similar to “praying” for them, for they truly do bask in that positive energy. It is when I’m with someone and they are thinking with love of someone in spirit that those loved ones in spirit most readily draw close or come through spontaneously.

Very often loved ones in spirit are seeking communication just as we seek it with them. This does not mean that the spirits “mourn” losing us. This is very rare. It would be like us falling asleep and dreaming, and longing for our waking reality. We may love our lives, and appreciate the people in them, but when we’re dreaming, we’re usually fully focused in the present (the dream). If someone calls us to wake up while we’re dreaming, we may even long to remain in the dream, but we will awaken to speak to those who love us and who are seeking contact. Similarly, loved ones in spirit do hear us. They might not “rouse” themselves at our every emotional whisper, but when we get “loud” or intense with our feelings, they will “wake up” or focus their attention from their afterlife experiences to our plane of existence.

Hearing Spirit

Just because they do pay attention, however, doesn’t mean we can always perceive them. Many people will cry out in mourning for a loved one, and be despondent that the person is “gone,” when their loved one is there the whole time with them. Because they are in sorrow or fear, they are not in harmony with their loved one, so the loved one can not connect with them.

Often when this goes on for a while, the spirit will week a medium out. Yes, you read that right. Often spirits will lead their loved ones to a medium, so that the medium can relay messages. Spirit once showed me that being in the non-physical is a bit like being on the “seeing” side of a two-way mirror. They can “see” us, but most of us only see a reflection or mirror when we look back. Spirits might be energetically “waving” and “shouting,” but most of us do not perceive their presence at all. Imagine then, if such spirits saw one of us (a medium or sensitive) turn toward them and begin to respond. Spirits get very excited when we can hear them!

Spirits will do all kinds of things to try to get our attention, especially when we’re asking with our hearts for contact or communication. As everything is energy, and spirits are energy unbound by physical laws, often electrical appliances or means are used. I’ve heard all kinds of stories over the years about lights flickering or coming on by themselves, spirits speaking through or appearing on televisions, and appliances turning themselves on and off. This is far more common than most people might think.

Spirit also speaks to us through our own hearts and intuition. Often when we have a crazy impulse to do something, there is a spirit behind the impulse. If we’re paying attention, spirit will sometimes even speak to us through another person who is not aware that this is happening. This often happens in small ways, like when we’re seeking direction on practical matters. We may be looking for to sublet an apartment for the summer, for example, and overhear a woman in line at the grocery store say, “I hope to be able to sublet my place for the summer.” It may be more subtle than this. We may be seeking general answers in our lives and find those answers in the casual or offhand remarks of others. These kinds of “coincidences” happen all the time, and are often the result of Spirit help.

People often asks about their pets in spirit. While wild animals tend to remain on the “fringes” of where I go when I seek spirits, domesticated animals often come through for those who loved them, and those they love. The energetic connections of love are similar to those between humans.

Suicide

I saw the movie “What Dreams May Come” when it came out, and it disturbed me. What bothered me most was that there was so much truth in the movie about what life on the other side is like, but the portrayal of suicide was, so far as I know, distressing and inaccurate. The fact that the rest of the movie was so true left me concerned that its take on suicide would be swept up and accepted with the rest of it. Such a movie has a powerful influence on mass beliefs. (And remember, our beliefs and expectations shape our experiences here and beyond!)

The movie suggested that if we commit suicide, we are damned to hell, and will never be reunited with our loved ones again. I can only imagine how disturbing such a belief might be to someone who loved someone who had committed suicide. One has to be very “lost” to commit suicide in the first place. As we live in life, so we live in death. Suicides tend to remain very “lost” on the other side for a while, but nothing in the Universe is static or permanent.

We are ever changing in life, and ever changing in death. Some suicides can even immediately see things more clearly on the other side, and experience a sense of relief. This is especially true if the person believed in an afterlife, and also believed that they would not be “punished” for taking their own life. This is not generally the case, but again, it’s all a matter of beliefs and expectations. No one who commits suicide is “condemned by God.” They have already condemned themselves. There is love and compassion in Spirit (as in life) for those who take their own lives, we have only to ACCEPT it. Someone who takes his or her own life is generally filled with self-loathing. Such a person cannot allow themselves love, forgiveness and compassion when living, and it is not likely they will allow this after death, at least, not at first.

It is never advisable, of course, to take one’s own life. It is impossible, however, to truly “kill” or destroy oneself. We can try to run from our problems and lessons, but doing so tends to just give them room to grow bigger.

In summary

Of course, I can’t profess to know personally what death is like, I can only relay what those who live in the next life have shown me. Even then, it is like I stand at the doorway between this life and the next; I can only see that which lies just beyond that doorway. Perhaps there are those who know what spirit life is like when spirits are not communicating with us on earth. I can’t see that far now and don’t expect to be able to, at least, not until I am born into the next life myself.

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