Dear Soul Arcanum:
I’ve always wondered something about reincarnation. How do we choose our next lives? What makes us choose to have some experiences and not others, for example? Do we choose our occupations? How we’ll look? How much planning do we get to do?
– Rachel
Dear Rachel:
Please note that this is only my understanding of reincarnation based upon what I’ve read. You may want to explore the works of Michael Newton, Ph.D.; he has hypnotically regressed many people to the period between lives and extensively explored these very issues.
It is mind boggling to ponder all of the factors that may come into play with planning a future life. Where does one begin? By way of metaphor, we might compare this to adopting a child. First I imagine you have to consider your options. What children (bodies) are available to you? Do you want a boy or a girl? Do you want a child (body) from a particular place or culture? The more particular you are in your needs, the harder it must be to find just the right fit.
Just as some prospective parents will be very careful to make sure that everything is just right before they adopt, others will be a bit more reckless and impatient. We each have our own unique nature, and it’s my understanding that we go about planning future lives much as we go about living this one.
Alternatively, we might compare incarnating in the physical like planning a trip or adventure. We will have certain things we feel drawn to exploring. For some of us, it may be most important that we have the opportunity to further develop and exercise certain skills, or to make a difference in the world. In this case, we may need to make sure we’re born to a family that will give us the opportunities to do this, or that we have a physical body capable of supporting our goals. Usually such a person will know from a fairly young age what their “higher purpose” is; they will feel drawn to this again and again, or display a gift related to it.
For others, these sorts of considerations may not be so important; they may not care so much what they do or where they do it so long as they can be with a certain special someone, or affect karmic healing of a particular personal issue. For these people, the body and life they choose will be largely determined by their ability to meet and create relationships with key individuals, or engage in certain experiences.
On top of all the personal desires and needs we must consider, we also all have “soul families” that we tend to incarnate with again and again. We meet up with them in the “afterlife,” where we plan future adventures with them. We can usually find members of our soul family in the people we are closest to of our own generation. The folks in generations before and after ours may be special to us, but probably are not of our own soul group. Grandparents we have shared a special sense of kinship to, however, are often individuals from our own soul family.
Thus our siblings, best friends, lovers and mates – these people are probably from our soul family, while our parents, children, aunts, uncles, etc., are probably not from our own soul family. While they may be very special to us, they are not necessarily of the same vibration or working on the same lessons and issues we are, and are thus probably not our first priorities when we are planning future lives and relationships.
Further, usually we will choose to have very different experiences from one lifetime to the next. We may be intrigued by the idea of incarnating in a different culture, for example, and living a very different life from the one we’ve just left behind. Again, imagine that you’re planning your next vacation: most people would choose to explore somewhere new, though a few might want to return to the same place they always go because it’s dear to them. If, however, someone very important to us has decided to incarnate into a certain family in China, we may very well say, “Hey, that sounds fine. I’ll do the same so I can be near you.”
Once we choose where we want to be and what will be most important to us in this next life, we may begin to explore our options for bodies. Sometimes we will accept bodies that may not be ideal in order to get other things that are more important. Sometimes we may accept bodies that have special challenges in order to develop other capacities. For example, if we strongly desire to explore physical power and energy, we may choose a very powerful, athletic body. If, however, we need to develop more on the inside – build up our intellects or our spiritual awareness – we may see a physically challenged body as an ideal catalyst for this sort of development. If we are strongly determined to be in a certain place or with a certain person, we may be more flexible about the particular body we get, so long as our main goals are assured.
I don’t want to imply that we are choosing all of this in a very conscious way, like sitting down with a brochure and a checklist. For most people, I imagine that planning a future life is sort of a dreamy process, and more one of emotional desire leading us naturally to fulfillment than mental planning. As we evolve in our spiritual development, however, we gain more conscious control over our lives – both this life and our future lives.
There is only so much control we have over the physical. If we choose a certain set of parents, for example, then we have to work with the DNA they have to offer. By way of gross example, we can’t decide to be born Asian to Caucasian parents. We have to work with the physical foundation available much as we work with the physical body we’ve been given after we’ve incarnated.
This is why spiritual development is so powerful and valuable; the more evolved we are, the more the soul is leading versus the body/ego. So a very advanced soul may have a lot of conscious control over a future life, as well as the ability to mold the physical body to the vibration of its soul energy. In a less evolved soul, the body/ego does more of the leading, and one feels more “at the mercy” of one’s instinctive reactions and physical reality. This only makes sense if you think about it. For example, if one gains the ability to consciously manifest healing in the body by working with natural spiritual law, then one has far more influence over the body than someone who has yet to evolve into this level of wisdom and understanding.
I do believe that whatever we focus upon, we manifest, and that this would be true of manifesting a new life. When we focus upon something with strong emotion, we naturally flow toward it. This is a natural process that leads us into new experiences, including new lives. So if there is something we greatly fear, we will probably manifest it. It’s interesting to ponder how when we experience something, we usually learn from it and eventually lose our fear of it. If there is something we greatly desire, we will probably manifest that too, and by fulfilling that desire, eventually come to a point where we don’t crave it anymore.
Perhaps the one exception to this rule is that of true love: It is the one force that never dwindles away, but instead can inspire us forever. This is the force that keeps us longing for and reuniting with our loved ones or “soul mates” lifetime after lifetime. Perhaps it is the unending nature of this force that leads us to consider true love to be so divine.
In summary, if you want to have more conscious control over your future lives, devote yourself to spiritual growth in this one. If you work through your personal issues, cultivate love and harmony in relationships, and stretch yourself into new potential, your efforts will be rewarded forevermore.
– Soul Arcanum