Dear Soul Arcanum: For a while, I was having very vivid, involved dreams of my recently departed boyfriend every night. (He died about a month ago.) Now I haven’t had a dream about him for a week straight. What could cause dream meetings with loved ones in Spirit to stop? The signs of him that I had been receiving are also starting to fade, and this is really distressing me.
B.
Dear B:
You’ve been very blessed to have so many signs and dreams as well as conscious memory of your continued dream experiences with him. While many people have contact with recently departed loved ones via their dreams, it is pretty unusual to have vivid dream visits from them every night.
I believe that these dream visits ended because it’s time for everyone to begin to move on. I know that you don’t want to and you don’t feel ready to, but if you continue to spend all of your dream time and most of your waking time trying to connect with your departed boyfriend, you won’t really be living, my friend.
Clinging to our loved ones in Spirit and begging them not to leave us isn’t good for them either. While I do understand how hard it is to let go, it’s important to realize that wanting to keep someone who has left this world with us is a selfish desire. It’s like a mother not wanting her children to grow up and leave home. While we can understand why she might feel that way, that doesn’t make it right. If she’s a truly loving mother, she knows this wouldn’t be the best thing for her child, so she rises above her own desires and encourages them to become independent and go off to explore new experiences.
Spirits may make an appearance via signs or dreams for some days or perhaps even weeks after leaving this world. They may remain close for a while, watching over their surviving loved ones and making sure that everyone is going to be okay and get over their deaths. During this time period, all sorts of wonderful signs and events may occur, including electrical phenomena, apparitions, and vivid dream visits. All of these happen because our loved ones in spirit are making a great effort to let us know that they are okay so that we can go on to have happy lives.
These events are not meant to take the place of life experiences. They are not trying to create an ongoing inter-dimensional relationship to replace the one that has been temporarily lost. They are simply wanting to comfort and reassure us when we’re reeling with grief. Since the ultimate point is to help us to get over their deaths and move on, there comes a point when all these signs, events, dreams, etc., have to end, especially if we’re clinging to them and focusing a great deal of our time and energy on them.
This is different from the case of earthbound spirits or ghosts, who may continue to try to get our attention indefinitely because they are lost and need help crossing over. So if you think about it, it’s natural and normal for these events to stop at some point, and it’s a good sign: it means that the natural process of death and continuation into the afterlife is going along smoothly.
I’m not saying that you can’t continue to meet with him via your dreams, for he can come back and visit you. Instead, I’m suggesting that by letting go, you can reclaim that ability. Right now, it’s not in anyone’s best interests to continue to keep him at the center of your life when you’re awake or asleep. Once you have healed further and opened up to new love and new happiness, you will probably begin to dream of him again.
This will happen both because it won’t be detrimental to you and because your vibration will have risen. As time does heal all wounds, this will eventually happen naturally. However, there are some things you can do to facilitate connection with loved ones in other dimensions.
The name of the game is getting into a very high vibration, for this will lift you toward their vibration and also empower you to manifest whatever you want in your life, including successful spirit communication. Here’s an article that may help: Raising Your Vibration for Spirit Communication.
Anything you do that raises your vibration, expands your spiritual nature or enhances your intuitive abilities will help you to bridge the chasm between dimensions. The more you consciously develop as a spiritual being, the more empowered you will be to not only remember ordinary dreams, but to lucid dream, induce out of body experiences, consciously interact with spirit guides and remember their guidance, and meet with your departed loved ones on other planes. You’ll also gain greater control over everything you encounter or try to manifest in life. For these reasons, I recommend you embrace spiritual development via endeavors such as meditation, spiritual practices and studies, personal growth, etc.
Some people can visit metaphysical worlds at will, and do so whenever they desire. If they can do it, I’m sure that with the right approach and development, you can too. While you’re working on that, you can meditate for a half an hour each day with a focus on finding peace within, healing from this loss, and reaching out to your boyfriend with your heart and mind. Try to think happy thoughts about him, and try to find gratitude for the time that you had with him. The more you can make your heart soar when you think of him, the easier it will be for you to consciously connect and communicate with him.
Also, before you go to sleep at night, try to get into a very high vibration like this and then ask Spirit to bless you with dream visits from him. Affirm that this is what is going to happen to your subconscious mind, and also affirm that you will remember these dreams in detail upon waking.
Visualize what you want to have happen. Both during meditation and before you go to sleep, imagine meeting with him. Remember to pray for what you want: ask your spirit guides to facilitate this experience for you.
You might want to keep a dream journal too, for this will expand your dream life in wonderful ways. We work out a lot of issues in our dreams, so if there are things happening in our lives that are more important than playing with our loved ones in other dimensions, then working out those problems or issues may take precedence. This means that the more together, at peace and empowered you are in general, the greater your freedom will be to dream of whatever you desire.
Finally, it’s important to trust that there is a good reason for all our experiences, including blocks or the lack of some experience you desire. The more you can trust that there must be a good reason these dreams have stopped for now, the higher your vibration will float, which will ironically make it easier for you to create what you want instead of taking whatever you’re given.
If this advice seems a bit contradictory, it’s because there is a tricky spiritual juggling act between being faithful and proactive that is rather magical. When we both own our power to manifest what we desire and at the same time trust that whatever happens is for the best, we step into a harmonious flow with the Universe, and then all sorts of healing and blessings flow into our lives.
– Soul Arcanum