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Dear Soul Arcanum:

I lost someone dear to me some time ago, and he has sent me some wonderful after death communications since he passed. Lately I’ve been hearing a song by Kelly Clarkson a lot. It talks about being “already gone” and “moving on.” I am wondering if this is a sign from Scott telling me that he has already gone on to higher realms and won’t be with me as much or send me as many signs and messages as he used to. I would love to get your perspective on this.

H.

Dear H.

I’ve looked up the lyrics to this song, and I think it’s a lovely one for a spirit use as a sign. I do think we should step back from your assumptions about what it may mean, however, especially since you don’t report any decrease in contact from him.

To me, this song suggests that what happened was destined to happen; Scott is telling you that it would never have worked out because he was destined to leave this world when he did. He knows how much you loved him but he wants you to move on with your life because he’s no longer here; he wants you to be happy and find new love. I lost my first love at a very tender age, so I know it can be very hard to even imagine falling in love with someone else, but you might look at it like this: What if you had lost someone else years ago, and as a result of that loss, you closed yourself off to new love and therefore never got to meet and fall in love with Scott? If there is someone out there you’re destined to love just as much, you don’t want to close your heart to him. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to connect with the departed, it does seem that the main reason spirits reach out to us is to make sure we are okay and encourage us to let go and move on with our lives.

No one truly knows whether spirits move beyond the range of communicating with the living at some point, but I can offer you what I’ve come to believe based on my own history with spirit communication and what I’ve read from researchers and other experiencers.

First, it does seem that there are some spirits long dead who communicate with humankind. (Whether these spirits are really who they say they are, no one can say for sure.) The more interested in spirit communication a person was before they died, the more likely they are to continue to attempt interdimensional communication after they leave this world. Some examples that come to mind include the EVPs of Konstantin Raudive and Thomas Edison. This evidence suggests that at least some spirits can communicate indefinitely.

In my experience, there are perhaps two main factors that affect the power and frequency of spirit contact: skill and need. When someone first dies, there is a tremendous need for us to hear from them. Despite this, spirit communication can be very difficult to affect at first for a number of reasons. For one thing, when we’re grieving, our vibration is too low to perceive higher frequencies of energy, so even though a spirit may be trying hard to reach us, we may be unreachable. Further, at first, most spirits don’t know how to achieve a conscious connection with us.

When dramatic phenomena does take place, it’s usually in the initial weeks following death. This is because the spirit still has more of a foothold in this dimension and is better able to affect physical reality. Recently departed spirits are also highly motivated because they want to comfort their grieving loved ones. Since it can be very hard for spirits to get the attention of the grieving, many go to great lengths to send unmistakable signs like lights flickering, phone calls from the other side and other semi-physical phenomena. As they move up into the afterlife, this ability fades. This is why we tend to see striking signs in the first weeks after someone has passed, after which signs and visits become more subtle.

Perhaps the main factor affecting how long a spirit puts a great deal of effort into contact is how his or her loved ones here are doing. This is another reason why most contact happens close to the time of death, for this is when people are most in need of comfort. However, I have heard many stories from people who had contact with a departed relative at a time of great need that occurred decades after the spirit’s passing. For example, one man’s mother had been gone for more than 25 years when she visited him the night before he was planning to kill someone and then take his own life. He awoke in the middle of the night to find her standing near his bed, telepathically comforting him and urging him to reach for forgiveness and choose a higher path.

In many cases, spirit communication actually picks up after a period of time. This is because many spirits need time to figure out how to bridge the dimensions. They also study their own efforts and from this determine who is most receptive to them and what tends to work best in terms of getting that person’s attention.

My best friend from high school died last spring. Despite many years of successful spirit communication experience, I found it impossible to contact her at first. I would reach out to connect with her energy and get nothing but a void. When I asked Spirit about this, I was reminded that my friend didn’t believe in an afterlife. I was made to understand that she was experiencing what she expected to experience when she died: a state of nothingness. In time, she would begin to wonder “who” was experiencing that nothingness and open up to new awareness. Interestingly, some months after she died, I began to get dream visits from her; recently, I got my first official message from her.

Similarly, I now interact with my father in Spirit far more than I could when he died five years ago. At first communication with him was difficult because he seemed so out of it. After a few months, I began to be visited by him in the night. I would wake to the sound of a “phantom doorbell” and sense his presence. Soon I began to experience dream visits from him. Though he died years ago, he seems to be getting better at visiting in this way, for it’s happening more and more.

While there are exceptions to these rules, most of the time overt signs such as visually appearing, calling on the phone and making lights flicker fade pretty quickly. After that, interactions can get more involved and complex via altered states of consciousness. So if you notice that you’re not getting as many outer signs, you might shift your efforts within by either trying to connect with your loved one via meditation or working with your dreams.

If you want to get more information about what your loved one in spirit is trying to tell you, you might try something called induced spirit communication in which a hypnotherapist guides you into a deep trance and facilitates a connection with the loved one in question. In this state, you can dialogue with your loved one and ask him what he’s trying to tell you and also if you can expect to keep receiving signs and messages from him.

Soul Arcanum

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