Dear Soul Arcanum:
About a year and a half ago, I started giving readings professionally. I love my work with one exception: some of my clients are “difficult.” When I have a client like this scheduled, I just dread the whole reading. I’m nervous, on edge, and find my confidence wavering. My intuition tells me it’s not going to be worth it to work with them, but I often do it anyway, as I feel I have to rise above my negative feelings and find a way to use the gifts I’ve been given. I give great readings to clients who want to work with me, who are open and easy to connect with. How do you deal with “difficult” clients?
– Maria
Dear Maria:
Thanks for this wonderful question. I can relate!
I have a long-time client who is a kind, brilliant young man. He’s a research physicist, and he always has some heavy questions for me about his latest theories. Fortunately, he also has some brilliant scientists working with him from the other side. I usually don’t understand half of what I channel through for him, but he tells me that he does, and that he always finds my readings helpful.
Given his scientific mind, he tends to want to test me. He will request a reading with vague or confusing questions, such as, “What does Spirit have to say about the molecular gravity simulation thingamajig?” Now, I don’t really need to understand all the jargon, but “what does Spirit have to say about…” is wide open. So when pursuing his latest reading a few months ago, he threw some really vague, confusing questions at me, and when I wrote to tell him that he was going to have to formulate something clearer, he said, “Well, I trust you and I trust Spirit. It always works out. I want to see what you get with this.”
This is where I tripped up. It felt wrong to me, and I knew I was not going to be able to bring through the sort of clear, helpful, useful information that I insist upon in my work. Something in me decided to defer to his judgment, and I said I’d see what I could do. It was one of the worst readings I’ve ever done. I had to strain for every answer, and when I got it, it made no sense to me. I was exhausted when the reading was over, and I didn’t feel I’d even produced anything really valuable for all that effort. The worst part of it all was that I KNEW better than to go ahead with this reading, yet I did it anyway.
He was surprised at the disappointing quality of the reading as well. I then laughed and apologized to him, and told him that I had made a mistake and would do the whole thing over on one condition: that he provide me with clear questions. He agreed, and in the second reading, we accessed the clear, helpful information and insights he was looking for.
This whole experience made me realize anew that it is my job to stay “in charge” of the reading. After all, I am the one performing it! If my clients don’t want to work with what works for me, they can always go see someone else. Through many years of experience, I have learned that it’s never wise to ignore our intuition, and this includes pushing forward before the energy is fully aligned for the reading (which in my case means that both the client and I clearly understand what he or she wants to know).
As it is a huge honor and responsibility to read for someone, we must approach this work with great care. We hold our clients’ inner lives in our hands; they hang on our words. This is why it’s so important to always approach issues from a positive angle, and to make sure that our true meaning is understood, for people can have intense, life changing emotional responses to what they THINK we’re saying, whether that’s what we’re trying to communicate or not.
Young or novice readers often struggle with “difficult clients” because they’re unsure of asserting themselves as the authority in the reading process. I began reading when I was in my mid twenties. When delivering spiritual advice to people twice my age, I had to keep reminding myself that I was just a channel for Spirit, so my personal age and wisdom had little to do with it. Readers must be able to stand tall in their authority to maintain the energetic integrity of the reading process.
Further, regardless of our field of work, we are all wise to learn about the law of attraction and to consciously align the quality of people/experiences we desire. When I first started reading, I was foolishly thrilled to work with anyone who wanted to work with me. I quickly learned to be more discerning. I vividly remember the turning point: I had a young woman who got angry with me when Spirit gently informed her that her ex-boyfriend (who was now engaged to another woman and living in another country) was not going to be reuniting with her this lifetime, and that she had to let go of this attachment to tap the new love potential on the horizon. It just was not what she wanted to hear.
After this experience, I asked Spirit to send me only kind, sincere clients who are self-aware and honest both with me and with themselves, and from that point on, I began attracting the most wonderful clients in the world. They are warm, wonderful, appreciative people who have deep questions and issues at stake – not folks who just want winning lottery numbers or spells to make a lover return to them.
So while I never meet “difficult clients” anymore, I know they’re out there. As even great clients may need some clear boundaries and direction, we have to stay awake and keep listening to our intuition. Since our business is “being psychic,” this is especially important!
Also, while it’s great to be appreciative of your gifts, you’re not really serving Spirit if you’re hurting yourself. There are many valid reasons you might refuse to read for someone. I don’t recommend reading for people who are fooling themselves and seeking validation for their subjective perspective; who recently got a reading on the same subject but didn’t act on any of the advice given in that reading; are coming to you from another psychic in hopes of hearing a different answer; are rude, pushy, or trying to get something for nothing; are too close to you personally such as a very close friend or family member (because of how it could affect your relationship); have a closed and challenging attitude; have ill intentions such as revenge or selfish gain; want you to “save” them as opposed to wanting you to help them help themselves. Nothing good will come from working with such clients, so there is no need to feel obligated or guilty for deciding you deserve a higher quality of experience.
In summary, I highly recommend that all readers clarify and affirm what they want in terms of quality of experience. In return, promise Spirit that you will do your very best for clients who are open, friendly, kind and sincere, etc. Then embrace your authority as a reader by honoring what works for you, and by sending anyone who wants you to compromise your truth on with your full blessings. I firmly believe that this approach will greatly enhance your reading practice, both for you AND for your clients.
– Soul Arcanum
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