Dear Soul Arcanum:
I’ve been trying to adopt a spiritual lifestyle for several years, and also trying to develop my psychic abilities. Why is it that when people make an effort to live this way, life seems to get harder? A lot of spiritual people always seem to be scraping through life, while most of the people I know who have no interest in spiritual growth seem to just float along. As the saying goes, “ignorance is bliss.” Sometimes I feel like walking a spiritual path is not worth the effort.
– Lisa
Dear Lisa:
As it is well known in spiritual circles, the early stages of awakening often turn one’s life upside down. It certainly does seem unfair; if we get more honest with ourselves and others and practice more kindness and compassion, why should we suffer more?
Awakening is like opening the door to a closet stuffed with emotional baggage from the past – perhaps even from past lives. When we open that door and start to consciously face these issues, all kinds of stuff may fall out on our heads.
Just as in physical life, no one really likes cleaning closets, but at some point, we get tired of all that mess and feel inspired to dig in and tackle the job. We want to feel more organized and on top of things, and to make room for new “stuff” – new experiences, insights, abilities, peace and understanding.
Some people will have a gentler experience. They may crack that door open and start slipping one item out at a time, and deal with that before going back for more. Others will throw those doors open, get swept away in the tide of junk that tumbles around them, flail and flounder for a while, get their footing, and start to dig themselves out.
It may take quite some time before progress becomes apparent. In fact, at first it may seem like life went from nice and orderly to a big mess full of hassles and endless problems. If we hang in there, however, we WILL make progress. We’ll also gain all kinds of new skills and gifts as we go. We build new self-esteem, confidence, and wisdom when bit by bit we handle deep issues, heal old wounds, make peace with past experiences, work our way toward our goals, etc.
I’ve seen many a spiritual seeker’s life fall apart as you describe, and I know how overwhelming it can be. In fact, I’ve often joked that I was once the “poster child” for what we might call Spiritual Awakening Chaos Syndrome.
When this happened to me, I had been on a conscious spiritual path for a number of years, and had had a lot of spontaneous psychic and spirit communication experiences. It wasn’t until I decided that this was my life path – that I was going to develop my mediumship abilities and devote myself to this line of work – that chaos erupted. I was married to my first husband and had two small kids when I decided to begin an intense training program in the spiritual arts. At this point, I considered my life and my marriage to be just fine; it was peaceful, I got along with everyone, I basically had no problems.
No sooner did I make this decision, however, than everything began to fall apart. For example, I became chronically ill, and suddenly my seemingly sound marriage began to crack. I didn’t really want to face the truth about it, however, because I wanted to focus on my “spiritual growth.” (Hah!) The more I tried to resist facing the truth, the sicker I got.
Eventually, I had to face facts: my marriage was basically a middle class illusion of what family life is supposed to be like. We were just going through the motions of what we both believed we “should” do. For two years I waffled between honoring my truth by trying to improve my marriage (which never worked), and denying my truth by trying to just hang in there and focus on other things. I might still be waffling today if health problems hadn’t scared me into making new decisions.
While separation brought immediate and complete relief of my health problems, divorce also led to all kinds of tumult. I had many fears to conquer: of hurting my children and other loved ones by being true to myself, of not being able to financially support myself, of being “bad” or wrong and one day regretting my decisions, of being alone, etc.
It took great strength and effort to not just push all of this stuff back into the closet, wedge an armoire up against it, brush the dust off my hands and go back to an unconscious life. Eventually, however, all of this inner and outer effort began to pay off in the form of great new blessings: new confidence, new inner peace, new skills, new success, new fulfillment, wonderful new relationships, etc.
These blessings were accompanied by new challenges. I met my current husband in a divinely destined way and knew he was “the one.” With him, however, came a whole new set of emotional baggage. His closet was bursting with strife-ridden relationship issues, and of course, when you marry someone, you bring their “stuff” into your life. Instead of my former peaceful, smooth existence, I was now drowning in other people’s “problems.”
Like you, I asked Spirit what I’d done to “deserve” this, and was shown that I had simply grown capable of handling more. Whenever I struggled or suffered, it meant that I was being presented with an opportunity to learn a lesson I’d yet to master.
I’m not suggesting that this has to happen to everyone, for some people have a much smoother experience. As spiritual awakening is in essence the realignment with our truest selves, the further we have strayed from our truest selves prior to that awakening, the harder it will be.
I’m reminded of a documentary called “Hoffman’s Potion” about the power of LSD as a therapeutic tool. LSD researchers discovered that some people had blissful spiritual experiences, while others had terrifying ones. The people who had wonderful experiences were basically self-aware and at peace with themselves to begin with, while those who had disturbing experiences were in denial of some kind.
For example, alcoholics tended to be in denial about how their behavior affected their loved ones, and through LSD, they were led to face the truth about their actions. The more in denial they had been, the more disturbing it was for them cope with the truth. It’s the same with spiritual seekers; the farther we’ve strayed from Truth, the harder it will be to face it when the time comes.
I do have some good news for struggling spiritual seekers: the worse things are now, the better they can become. If your life has been turned upside down since you began walking a conscious path, it means that much of your old life was based on illusions. With all of that torn down, you can now build a solid foundation for true fulfillment.
Ultimately, spiritual efforts are totally worth it. We don’t really have a good alternative to facing our “stuff” anyway, for whatever we deny or avoid will just get bigger and more painful until we deal with it.
As for all those folks who seem to be enjoying the “bliss” of ignorance, I encourage you to look beneath the surface. Some are living lives of quiet desperation. Some are in denial, and will eventually find themselves on a painful path that will force them to wake up. Some are indeed feeling just fine for now; we all go through periods when we can coast for a while, enjoy the fruits of our prior metaphysical labor and recharge for new progress.
Eventually, however, everything that is shoved into an inner closet must be cleaned out. The sooner we drag it out into the light and deal with it, the sooner we can move on to new peace, power and wisdom.
– Soul Arcanum
« How Can I Communicate with my Departed Son? Little Signs of Loved Ones in Spirit »