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Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have spontaneously brought through amazing messages from someone else’s loved one in Spirit a few times. Since then, I have tried to do this for others, but it is rare that I can bring through a particular spirit on request. Sometimes, the spirit that comes through seems random; other times I feel like I have a spirit that is connected with the person but they don’t recognize the spirit based on what I bring through. This leads me to doubt my spirit communication abilities and to feel bad because I know I am disappointing someone who needs to hear from someone they have lost. Do you have any advice for me?

Martha:

Dear Martha:

I wish I had easy answers for you, but what you describe is actually similar to my own experiences as a medium. My first spirit communication experiences were also spontaneous. I would be talking with someone when I would become aware of a presence around them that was trying to talk to me in my mind. When I got up the nerve to relay what I was being told, I was amazed at the profound healing that unfolded. From this I developed a strong desire to help the grieving in this way, and eventually, I was guided to The School of Spiritual Healing and Prophecy in Lily Dale, New York, where I learned how to refine my spirit communication abilities.

While I received wonderful training there, I still can’t guarantee that I will be able to connect with a particular spirit, and I have never met any medium who can. Famous mediums on TV may look like they can, but it’s simply because we are only being shown their greatest successes. Of course, I could be wrong about this; if you are a medium who can connect with any spirit at any time, please email me and set me straight – I want to meet you!

There are all sorts of factors that affect spirit communication. I have noticed that my own abilities seem to wax and wane. While I haven’t been able to determine why this would be, one element is clearly the level of my own desire. When I’m focused on spirit communication and full of compassion for the grieving, amazing spirit communication tends to happen; when I am caught up in other interests and endeavors, it naturally tends to fall back.

I also feel that we can evolve beyond the vibration essential to spirit communication. There is a natural progression in psychic development from frightening experiences to spirit communication to awareness of higher beings like spirit guides and angels. If we become accustomed to reaching as high as we can vibrationally, we may have to step down our vibration a few notches to connect with human beings who have passed. This is like working with a highly sensitive radio tuner; it’s simpler to turn it all the way to the right than to find a specific frequency in the middle.

Because I can’t guarantee that I will be able to bring through the individual being sought, I will try for evidential information and if I don’t get it, encourage the person to try another medium or try again at a later date. (I never charge anything for tuning in to see if I can get someone on the line.)

Communication is a two-way street. Often when spirits first cross over, they don’t know any more about how to communicate with us here than the average person knows about how to communicate with the dearly departed. Someone who thought spirit communication was a bunch of hogwash when alive may not instantly change his mind upon crossing over. When my best friend from high school died, I found it impossible to contact her at first. When I asked Spirit about this, I was reminded that my friend didn’t believe in an afterlife, and made to understand that she was experiencing what she expected to experience when she died: a state of nothingness. In time, she would begin to wonder who was experiencing that nothingness and open up to new awareness. Some months after she died, I began to get dream visits from her.

Sometimes there are simply communication problems either because the spirit isn’t great at communicating in general or because the styles of communication between the medium and the spirit are too different. To compound the problem, you can try to connect with a particular spirit only to have another individual burst in. Last week when I was tuning in for a woman who had lost her partner, I was shown lots of images of cooking. I was then shown a man in full military uniform in an old photograph. I knew this was a male spirit and that I was being shown him as he looked when he was younger. I relayed all of this to my potential client, and none of it clicked with her. The NEXT day I received an email from a woman wanting to connect with her departed father, with a link to his obituary. He was a celebrated chef and had been in the military. The obituary featured a picture of him when he was a young man; his was the face in the photograph I had been shown the day before. So when I tuned in for the first woman, a spirit came through for someone I hadn’t had any contact with yet! This has happened a number of times over the years. This spirit was so eager to come through that he “cut in line” and popped through when a different spirit was being sought.

You wrote that sometimes you feel you have the right spirit on the line, but the person isn’t recognizing what you’re bringing through. This has happened to me a number of times. For example, I was reading for a woman who was devastated by the loss of her husband. He kept showing me a framed picture with birds in it in their living room. When I relayed this to her, she said there was no such picture in her home, and she had no idea what it meant. Based on other verifiable information, we proceeded with the reading. I read for her perhaps a dozen times over several years, and each time, he showed me this picture of birds. I eventually stopped including that information because it didn’t mean anything to her.

A few years after he had died, she wrote to me for another reading. She needed to know what to do with her departed husband’s beloved birds, which were in a cage in their living room. She had been caring for them ever since his death. She sometimes felt that he was trying to talk to her through the birds. On the whole, however, the noise they made drove her crazy, so she wanted to know from him what he wanted her to do with them: keep them or give them to someone else. I was dumbfounded! Somehow she did not connect the “picture of birds in the living room” with the ACTUAL birds in the living room! All that time, he had been trying to answer the question in her heart. My point is that sometimes, you DO have the right spirit on the line, but for some reason, the person receiving the message just can’t put it all together.

Not being able to connect with a spirit does not mean that they are lost or confused on the other side or that you are incapable of spirit communication in general, for there are many factors that influence our ability to connect with certain spirits. Further, we need to remember that spirit communication is more of a miracle than a given. While I would love to be able to connect with any spirit at any time, I have learned to be grateful for those experiences that do shine through with amazing evidential information.

– Soul Arcanum


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