Category: Relationships


The Role of Karma in Relationships

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Karma, Past Lives, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on The Role of Karma in Relationships

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My question concerns karmic bondage. It is generally said that when we have unfinished karma with another person, like if there is strong hatred, anger or guilt, then after we leave this physical world, we reincarnate together to play exact opposite roles to clear up the karmic baggage of previous incarnations. Does this happen even when one has unconditional love towards the other? Can love make people reincarnate again, even if one of them has achieved self-realization? Can we stay un-affected by others’ intention to reincarnate with us? Thank you!
Muralidhar

Dear Muralidhar:

I’m sure that humankind’s understanding of karma, reincarnation, and similar subjects is very limited. As these are huge questions, I can only offer you what I’ve come to understand via some 20 years of past life readings as well as in depth study of research into these matters, such as the work of Dr. Michael Newton, Ph.D., who has regressed many subjects to the period between lives and then asked them deep questions about how incarnations are planned, as well as the research of great minds such as Dr. Brian Weiss, Dr. Ian Stevenson, Carol Bowman, etc.

It’s my understanding that when we are acting out karma in an unconscious way, we tend to do one of two things: we either act/react as you describe, or we get stuck in the same pattern over and over again. By the way, I believe this is true whether we’re talking about past lives or past experiences in our current life, so it may be easier to understand what I’m describing if we ponder how we all deal with various types of issues in a single lifetime.

Let’s take, for example, a relationship between young siblings. One child lashes out and strikes the other, at which point, the other child tends to respond by hitting back, cowering in submission, running away for help, etc. What an individual chooses to do in response to another’s actions depends on theirpersonality, social conditioning, level of spiritual development, etc. It is only when young souls mature that they begin to attempt more skillful, mindful responses.

So when we are acting out karma from an unconscious level, we do tend to either act/react or get stuck in certain patterns from one lifetime to the next. We may spend lifetime after lifetime trying to do unto others as they’ve done unto us, or playing the victim or bully over and over again in relationships. With time and experience we learn and grow, however, which leads us to change.

Please note my qualifier above that this is what happens when we act out karma from an unconscious level. When we grow conscious of why we are doing what we are doing, and we make a choice to reach for something better, we set ourselves free from this mindless karmic dance, and can then move into a higher level of experience.

When we grow more spiritually aware than your average bear and begin to consciously work from a metaphysical level, we can purposefully affect situations as desired. (We are unconsciously creating our realities all the time. The difference here is in our level of awareness: the more aware we are, the more empowered we are to break free of subconscious patterns and influences.)

So what’s missing from the simple view of karma as an endless dance of cause and effect is the truth that we are all divine creators of our own experiences, and are blessed with free will. Some people do unconsciously act and react over and over again, playing out the sort of karmic dynamics you describe, while others will purposefully break those patterns and make quantum leaps into new levels of experience instead of endlessly bouncing back and forth along the same old line.

It is thus through the cultivation of higher awareness that we attain liberation from karmic bondage. (Sound familiar?)

The way you phrased your question suggests that life on Earth is something we are better off avoiding. We must remember that our perspective on rebirth while we’re here in the physical is very different from how we may view it when we’re in Spirit and planning our next incarnation. It’s my understanding that we don’t have to reincarnate with someone if we don’t want to, but if it would be beneficial for us to do so on a soul level, then we may happily choose to do just that. From a higher spiritual perspective, this feels like a powerful opportunity, not a prison sentence.

On the flip side, love can and does lead us to reincarnate. In fact, all heartfelt desires tend to be fulfilled, so if we long to live with someone we loved in the past again, we will reincarnate in order to fulfill that wish. I often see this with people who fall in love with someone whom they can’t live with for some reason. When it’s not possible for them to be together as life partners, and they deeply desire to have this experience, then their strong desire naturally leads to a future life in which they can be together. Vows and promises are powerful soul contracts, so whether we promise someone we’ll come back to them or we vow to get even, we will play those plans out on a subconscious level until we become conscious of them and make a new choice. I view incarnating like taking a big trip or vacation: we choose to do it for the sake of the experience/adventure. Yes, traveling can be exhausting and scary and full of mishaps and inconveniences. Nevertheless, we all hunger to explore and experience something new and different, for it is our nature (as well as the nature of the Universe) to continue to expand: to spiral up and out, ad infinitum.

Also, our quality of life and our feelings about rebirth are greatly influenced by our level of spiritual development: the greater our power to consciously create what we want in the physical, the better our trips get. Thus there are people living in third world countries who long to escape this life, and there are also people who have attained a higher level of spiritual power and awareness who are signing up to go over with the Peace Corps for the sake of the experience and the opportunity to help make the world a better place. Both end up living in the same basic circumstances, but one is coming from a position of disempowerment and suffering, while the other is empowered and having a fine time.

In summary, yes: some people do mindlessly repeat the same karmic dance over and over again throughout many lifetimes as you describe. Eventually, however, we all learn and become motivated to change, which leads us to a higher level of experience. The bottom line is that our karma is personal: we are the ones who determine our level of freedom. The more we cultivate higher awareness, the freer we are to consciously choose our own course of experience.

– Soul Arcanum

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Disconnecting from One Night Stand’s Energy

Filed Under: Energy/Vibration, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Disconnecting from One Night Stand’s Energy

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Dear Soul Arcanum: For a while now, my husband and I have fantasized about having a threesome. Recently that wish came true, though it didn’t go so well. We met a lady from another town and we clicked immediately. I was excited to have a close girlfriend, so right away she came and stayed with us so we could all go on a boating trip together. I promise you that the threesome was entirely her idea. In fact, she was quite aggressive: She went topless on the boat all day and climbed into our bed naked that night. I wasn’t comfortable with this, but my husband was insistent so I went ahead with it. I felt exhausted and horrible afterward. How can I clear this energy and disconnect from her? We made plans to go shopping, but she isn’t returning my phone calls. I feel so disappointed. I don’t want her as a lover, just as a friend, but she has totally dropped us. (I have always wanted to have a really close girlfriend.) Is it possible to clear this energetic connection, or will I forever be tied to her and her lovers? I’m sorry if asking about this makes you uncomfortable; I don’t know who else to turn to.
M.

Dear M.:

The desires that got you into this situation are perfectly normal. Most people want to keep the passion burning in marriage and will try all sorts of different ways to do that. Further, we all have feelings and desires that don’t fit into the neat boxes we’ve been socialized to squeeze into, so we’re constantly longing for something new, more or different.

While your yearning for a close girlfriend is natural, it also could have deep roots beyond the simple desire for a true companion. Perhaps you had a very close friend in a past life and haven’t enjoyed a relationship like that in this one, or you had a romantic relationship with a woman in a past life and part of you vaguely remembers and longs for the pleasure you felt then. (You may have been male or female in that relationship, though odds are you would have been male.)

As I read your question, I saw you in a past life in a very deep, close friendship with another woman. You were both Asian females. You lived in the same house and you were closer to her than you’ve ever been to anyone else. I don’t usually offer this sort of personal information in this forum, but I feel it will help you understand your profound yearning for a close friend.

While you’re wise to remain conscious of things like psychic cords, cutting any cords that were created in this situation is just the first step: to feel better, you’ll need to determine what you really want and go after it in a more effective way. First, however, let’s explore the nature of psychic cords for those who are unfamiliar.

We forge psychic cords to everyone we are close to or interact with on a deep or frequent basis. We thus have psychic cords to our spouses, children, parents and friends, and we have lesser cords to people we interact with on a more casual or infrequent basis. As profound experiences lead to strong cords, and the exchange of bodily fluids also creates potent connections, lovers and mothers/babies tend to have very strong psychic connections.

Psychic cords aren’t bad; in fact, they are the energetic foundation of relationships. In healthy romantic/sexual relationships, the energy flows both ways and is basically balanced. One key aspect of creating a healthy relationship between two adults is clear understanding of what the relationship will entail – a mutual agreement that has both spoken and unspoken rules. Making a commitment is also powerful, so when we get married, we forge a strong psychic bond that endures both because of our commitment and because the rules of the relationship have been so clearly spelled out.

When we jump into bed or into relationships with people we don’t know well, it’s easy to end up in unstable, unhealthy situations. The thing about casual sex is that people are casual about it: There is no commitment and there are no clear agreements made, so these connections tend to be very short-lived.

When we engage in casual sex, we interact in an intense, tangible way, which creates strong psychic cords, but then the whole thing very quickly falls apart. This leaves everyone with their cords hanging, so to speak. Even when there is no overt interaction anymore, if we don’t create closure at the end of a relationship, it’s like leaving a light on when we depart a building: some of our energy is still flowing but we’re not getting any good return for it. In order to have all our energy for other relationships and endeavors, we have to turn off undesired relationships by withdrawing our energy from them.

This will happen on its own in time, which is sort of like that light bulb eventually burning out. However, until you learn whatever you need to learn in order to create the healthy relationships you desire, you’ll tend to keep creating unhealthy cords with new people.

It’s important to get conscious about what you really want so you can find the fulfillment your heart is yearning for. It sounds like you actually had two goals here: to spice up your marriage and to make a deep, true girlfriend. As your approach didn’t work out as you expected, I think you’d be wise to separate these goals. To spice up your marriage, you need to find something that feels good to you on every level. To create a true and lasting bond with a girlfriend, you’d be wise to avoid having casual sex with prospective pals.

Since this woman isn’t returning your interest, you can assume she wasn’t right for you. Now that you know that, you can move on and focus on finding someone who shares your desire for true friendship.

To get closure and directly move on to pursue what you really want, you might perform a ritual to cut cords with this woman. Set aside special time for this purpose, then get quiet, close your eyes, and visualize the cord between you like a string linking you together.

If it feels right, mentally explain to her why you are cutting the cord, or explain to the Universe what you are doing and why. Focus on the positive: on what you want and the good that you expect to come from this. The point is to communicate to yourself and the Universe that you are taking conscious control of creating what you want in your life now.

You may hear something from her or the Universe. These may be impressions, insights, ideas or solutions, so pay attention and allow whatever comes to you to lead you to new awareness and healing. When the time feels right, cut the cord by visualizing yourself with scissors or a knife cutting away whatever connects you. As you do so, say out loud: I cut this cord so that we may both be free to find greater love and happiness. The more you can embody the feeling of love and happiness you desire for yourself and everyone involved, the more powerful the ritual will be.

After you cut the cord, smudge yourself, your husband, your home, your boat and your bed with sage. (Wash all the bedding if you haven’t yet!) Also, get rid of anything this woman gave you and remove all traces of her from your world.

You’ve now created space for new blessings, so read up on the law of attraction and ask the Universe to guide you to the passion and true friendship you desire. Start focusing wholeheartedly on manifesting what you want, and before you know it, you’ll have chalked all of this up to a good learning experience and be absorbed in something new.

– Soul Arcanum

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Cultivating Romantic Chemistry

Filed Under: Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Cultivating Romantic Chemistry

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Dear Soul Arcanum:
I have been trying to attract new love into my life using the law of attraction. Two years ago, I had a few dates with a great guy who has all the qualities I’m looking for. We could talk and laugh for hours. We went on four dates, and then I backed out because I was unable to feel sexually attracted to him and figured it would be better to stop sooner rather than later. I kept his number in my cell phone, and a couple of months ago when I seriously started praying for new love and trying to attract it into my life, I started noticing his name in my cell phone book. Every time I tried to visualize this new love, he would pop into my mind. I thought perhaps I should give it another try. We’ve now reconnected, and it’s just as easy and natural as it was before. We’re even on the same page spiritually in terms of what we’ve been up to recently. We’ve seen each other again, and it was wonderful, but I was still not physically attracted. I’m wondering what’s happening with me. Am I resisting attraction at an unconscious level because part of me is still afraid of men? (I’ve always been more attracted to men who weren’t good for me.) Am I trying to force myself into a relationship with this guy because I know he would be a wonderful partner? If I get to know him better, might I become sexually attracted to him?
S.

Dear S.:

First it’s important to note that whenever we have trouble manifesting something we think we really desire, there are usually lessons we need to learn or wounds we need to heal that are tripping us up. When it comes to finding a soul mate, there are lots of issues that can cause people to search endlessly in vain. Many people do block chemistry due to various fears; I see this all the time in my own friends and the clients I counsel. For example, I know a number of women who only want what they can’t have: they find everyone who is attracted to them to be inadequate for some reason, and always get hung up on guys who are out of their league, married, or somehow unavailable, which effectively prevents them from getting seriously involved with anyone.

Many people have deep psychic wounds that need to be healed. If women were abused, raped, shamed for being sexual or rejected in this life or another lifetime, those wounds must be healed in order for them to have a healthy, fulfilling sex life. (Women who died in childbirth in past lives often have sexual problems in future lives as well.) Similarly, men who were abused, raped, shouldered with the heavy burdens of providing for an unexpected family, unable to sexually perform, infected with an STD, or romantically rejected must also heal those wounds to find sexual fulfillment.

Deep issues aside, there are all sorts of energetic interactions constantly happening between people. These largely determine whether we feel drawn to them as well as the quality of relationship we form with them. For example, you can meet someone who seems really nice on the surface and yet feel uneasy around them because on an unconscious level, you sense that who they are pretending to be is not who they really are.

There are two issues at work here: how we are vibrating, and how we are vibrating in relationship to another individual. We have tremendous control over our own vibration, and some control over how we vibrationally relate to others.

We can cultivate passion and sensuality just like we manifest anything else in life. For example, I had a lover long ago who awakened me to a new level of sensuality. Until my experiences with him, I had been rather repressed but didn’t know it. We were amazing together, for he brought me sensually to life.

This taught me that it’s possible to bring out in lovers whatever turns us on. To awaken another, however, we must first embody the sensuality we’re hoping to find instead of looking for someone else to make it happen for us. So instead of looking for someone with whom you have good chemistry, you might try becoming more passionate and sensual yourself, focusing energetically on what you want to manifest, and setting that tone for whatever relationship you want to evoke good chemistry in. In this particular relationship, you can focus on cultivating all kinds of sensual pleasure, evoking the wonderful lover in him, and enjoying yourself no matter what.

This approach will only take us so far in particular relationships, however, just like being kind will only take us so far with certain people. If their idea of being a good friend is way off from our own, then we’re just not going to click. Similarly, if we don’t even really like someone, we won’t find them sexually attractive, or if they have sexual issues that need to be healed, they may not be ready to engage at the higher level of experience we’re longing for.

Of course, just as every combination of elements produces a different chemical reaction, there are all sorts of different chemistries between people. It’s particularly interesting to observe how new babies in a family will immediately demonstrate great rapport with some family members and show an aversion to others. No doubt this is in part due to past life experiences/karma.

Regardless how it comes to be, the chemistry between any two people is determined by the quality of the vibration of the relationship. Just as the individuals in the relationship have personal vibrations, the relationship itself has a certain feeling or tone.

Music offers us a great metaphor for understanding this better. Let’s say that everyone has an overall vibration that matches a certain note of the scale, and whenever we get together with one or more other people, we strike a chord. Clearly, there will be some combinations that sound really good and others that are discordant.

When we meet someone who shares our personal note, we feel like they are very much like us. We are kindred spirits, so we communicate and get along very well. It sounds like you and this wonderful man are very similar in nature, which is why you feel so at ease around him.

When we meet someone who has a different vibration but one that sounds really good with our own, we complement each other. The more complex but complementary a chord is, the more interesting it sounds. This is when you get a very passionate sort of bond, for you are different enough to be fascinated by each other, but at the same time, you complement each other or sound good together. Even when we are very similar to someone else, however, we can create a melody with them that is simple but moving and beautiful.

All of this is a gross oversimplification, of course, for we are all so much more than one note, and we are forever changing. This is where we have a lot of room to play at creating something beautiful. I believe that we can cultivate good chemistry with anyone we basically like, respect, and feel good around. If we are too similar, it may become sort of routine after a while, but every relationship feels like that after we’ve ironed out all the kinks – it just happens sooner rather than later when we’re highly compatible with someone. On the other hand, with someone who is too different from us, we may feel intense passion but so much conflict that it’s just not worth it.

Life is full of beautiful people and endless opportunities for passion and pleasure. To find deep fulfillment, we must become within what we seek in our outer experience, and make the most of love wherever and however we may find it.

– Soul Arcanum

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A Spiritual Perspective on Codependency

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Emotional Well-being, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on A Spiritual Perspective on Codependency

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Dear Soul Arcanum:
Could you please explain what codependency is? What fears lie behind it, and what healing tools could be used to heal it? Thank you for the wonderful job you do with Soul Arcanum – your words bring more light into my life!
Ellen

Dear Ellen:

Codependency ultimately arises from a lack of faith in a higher plan and power. If we believe that we won’t be okay unless we remain vigilantly in control, and that others won’t be okay unless we personally guide and rescue them, then we will go to insane lengths to try to make things go the way we think they should go.

Codependency is of course also a relationship issue involving a lack of clear personal boundaries. Basically, codependents misdirect their efforts by taking responsibility for others’ choices. Further, everyone has fears of abandonment/being alone. Some people avoid the potential pain of being rejected by avoiding getting too close or attached, while others (codependents) try to prevent the potential hurt of being lonely by clinging on tight, avoiding the truth, and smoothing things over. They literally lose themselves in relationships.

Codependency always involves an addict – otherwise we’d just call it obsession. In this scenario, the addict may addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, attention, drama, or even just being lazy and irresponsible, while the codependent is addicted to the addict. All addicts feel they can’t live without whatever (or whomever) they’re addicted to, and this is what motivates their desperate, self-destructive, crazy behavior. In the dependent/codependent relationship, neither person is centered in their own personal power; both are looking for God or emotional sustenance in something/someone outside of themselves instead of within.

I believe that we all have addictive and codependent tendencies, for we all have fears of being vulnerable, alone, helpless, unloved, abandoned, unhappy, unfulfilled, etc. Further, even seemingly emotionally healthy people have buried issues that can lie dormant for years and then be reawakened by any number of triggers.

For example, we may meet someone from a past life with whom we have dependent/codependent karmic patterns, or connect with someone new who pushes one of our buttons. When this happens, we tend to feel a strong sense of connection or attraction to that person, and may mistakenly assume that this means we’ve met the soul mate we’ve been praying for and will live happily ever after with them. Instead, our inner beings feel drawn to these people because they can help us heal something deep within us that needs healing.

This is what happens when children of alcoholics grow up and marry other addicts. Even when they carefully screen out overt alcoholics, to their dismay, many find themselves repeating familiar old patterns. If Sandy was forever covering for dad when she was a girl, she may marry a man who constantly needs rescuing in some way in order to learn that this sort of behavior isn’t truly loving or respectful of either one of them. If Mom was affectionate and cheerful when drugged up but mean and withdrawn when sober, Bill may be strangely attracted to women who run hot and cold in order to heal the emotional wounds he suffered as a child.

The possibilities are endless: the point is that what attracts us to other people on an unconscious, spiritual level is always meaningful and purposeful. While we are drawn to certain people because they may have the traits we consciously desire in a partner, there are other, deeper forces at work as well.

I did my own wretched tour of codependent duty when I was a freshman in college. As I had grown up with an obese, food-addicted father, I was well-trained in codependency myself. When I met Dan, there was an instant feeling of soul recognition, and yet my heart didn’t swell with love and delight. Instead, it was like I’d just come across a live wire on the ground that was sending out fiery sparks: I felt enthralled but wary.

Dan was brilliant, fascinating, sexy, self-possessed, and a mean, ugly drunk. When he was sober, life with him was heaven; when he was drinking, it was hell. He loved me beautifully two thirds of the time, and the other third he treated me like dirt. This was profoundly heart-wrenching and confusing, but because I was so attached to the ecstasy, I kept hanging on through the miserable times with him. Nothing was more important to me than him loving me completely, so I accepted his addiction as an excuse for his totally unacceptable behavior. Instead of telling him what I really thought and felt, I tried to smooth things over and keep them going. Instead of drawing a firm line with him, I let him emotionally use and abuse me.

I know that many people reading this can relate. For those who haven’t been through something similar, imagine a pimp getting you hooked on crack by giving you a little taste and then disappearing…showing up suddenly with another little bit of heaven, getting you high, beating the crap out of you, and then taking off again…returning with sweet apologies and lots of what you want but then suddenly claiming a supply shortage and jacking his prices sky high. If you want it, you can have it, but you’ll have to sell yourself to get it. Since you feel like you’re dying without it, you’re willing to give up anything – your health, your self-respect, your very soul – just to stop the pain.

This is what happens when codependents get hooked on addicts. By nature, addicts are not emotionally honest with themselves or anyone else, which generates seemingly crazy, irrational behavior. When we remember that codependents are also addicts, it’s easy to see how confusion reins and endless crazy swings between hope and despair become normal.

In terms of spiritual development, codependents tend to ignore both reason and their intuition. They will continue with this as long as their fear of being alone or unloved is greater than their fear of being used, abused and in a miserable relationship. Eventually, however, the pain and frustration grow intolerable and they begin to reason their way out of the mess they find themselves in.

My head kept trying to tell me that what I was doing with Dan didn’t make sense and wasn’t leading where I really wanted to go, but I believed I couldn’t live without him. Eventually, reason convinced me that if I really wanted to feel loved and happy, I was going about it all wrong. How could anyone truly love and respect me when I was unable to respect myself enough to stop the insanity?

Of course, by enabling their addict, most codependents believe that they are acting in a loving manner. Once they realize that enabling addicts is more hurtful than helpful of everyone involved, they naturally begin to change.

Finally, at the heart of the journey of healing from codependency is the development of faith in something bigger than ourselves. When we have faith that everything happens for a good reason and everyone is doing whatever they need to do in order to learn what they need to learn, it’s easy to give up trying to save or control them. Others are already doing whatever they need to be doing, and they can only save themselves anyway. This goes for us too, of course: we realize that instead of wasting our time and energy trying to force square pegs into round holes, we would be wise to focus on fulfilling our own goals and dreams with trust that if we align with what we want within, whatever happens in our outer experience will prove to be for the best.

– Soul Arcanum

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Allowing People to Stay Stuck

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Allowing People to Stay Stuck

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Dear Soul Arcanum:
I’ve really been working on myself for the last couple of years in terms of personal development, prosperity consciousness, business success, spiritual growth, etc., and I now find that I have no tolerance for B.S. I find it frustrating to be around people who refuse to crack a book, move forward with their lives, or do something progressive instead of just repeating the same situations over and over again. That said, I also know that everybody is on an individual path and there are reasons people stay broke, ignorant, selfish, etc. Still, it’s a tough balance for me to allow while knowing there are other options for people. What do you do about people like this? There are also a lot of people in my life who lean on me like a walking cane. I guess I appear to be more competent and balanced than they are. I’m wondering how you (with your skills) deal with such people.
D.

Dear D.:

We have a lot in common, for I’ve been struggling with these issues for a couple of decades now. After you’ve been walking a conscious spiritual path for many years, it becomes the only way you know how to be. It’s then easy to forget what it was like before you became devoted to self-improvement, which can make it hard to relate to all the folks in the world who are just trying to get through each day with as much pleasure and as least pain as possible. You can share with them all sorts of enlightening ideas, but if they’re not ready to embrace them, you’ll drive yourself crazy if you’re attached to what happens after you cast your pearls of wisdom out there.

In terms of the law of attraction, I see two separate forces at work in situations like this. First, your lack of tolerance for B.S. is common in people who are adept at the law of attraction, for you are ever raising the bar on what you desire and expect from life. I must point out, however, that freaking out about B.S. is also B.S. After all, once you achieve this level of spiritual development and know that you can create whatever you want, it makes no sense to keep creating B.S. and then getting upset about it. When B.S. rears its ugly head, it’s time to examine your own vibration and lift yourself into a higher level of experience.

By allowing yourself to get annoyed and irritated, you’re hurting yourself: your own vibration is suffering and you are setting yourself up to manifest more frustrating experiences. (Remember – what you focus upon expands!) Instead of wishing other people were more like you, you’re wise to look for something to appreciate in them and assume the best in every situation. When you’re able to stay in pure positive energy even when others are leaning on you or bumbling along, the quality of your experiences will change, and you’ll begin to attract more happy, successful people.

In order to deal with B.S. or the potential frustration of watching people repeat the same limiting, self-destructive problems over and over again, and NOT have it lower our vibration, we have to rise above ego. When we’re centered in our higher selves, there is nothing to get upset, angry or frustrated about; instead, there is calm faith that all is well and everyone is doing just what they need to be doing in order to learn whatever they need to learn at that time.

It is much easier to achieve this higher perspective when we’re dealing with people we don’t have close personal relationships with. In fact, the more important someone is to us emotionally, the more attached we will feel to them making the decisions that we think they should make in order to feel the way we think they should feel.

When you start getting upset about others’ habits and choices, it’s a sign that your ego is getting attached to a certain outcome again. As this is a test of your faith, it’s time to ask yourself if you truly believe that everyone is just where they need to be and doing what they need to be doing.

Second, the brighter your light becomes, the more people will be attracted to it, and the greater your life grows, the more people will take notice and want to emulate you. It is thus entirely natural for people who really have their acts together to attract all sorts of hangers on. It’s easy to see how this is true of successful business owners like yourself; the owner creates a thriving business, and in doing so, he creates jobs for people who don’t have the personal power and ambition to create something similar for themselves.

This too is natural: not everyone can be the business owner or there would be no employees; not everyone can be the shepherd or there would be no flock; not everyone can be the teacher or there would be no students. Everyone is doing what suits them given their present level of development.

Further, all of this is relative, and everyone has both strong and weak suits. When we are feeling irritated or critical of others, we are wise to stop focusing on their problems and realize that our own flaws are begging for attention. Just as you may look down on someone as hopelessly blind to their own issues, someone else may view you similarly. (I feel for our poor spirit guides; if they had egos like we do, I’m sure they’d have given up on us a long time ago.) Also, the people who struggle with some of the stuff that we find easy may have some beautiful traits that we have yet to develop, so we are wise to remain humble and look for the Divine in everyone we meet.

Speaking of humility, I must warn you that it is daring and foolish to tell ourselves (and the Universe) that we can handle anything because we’ve got our acts together, for this sends out a signal just begging for a greater challenge. The bigger our egos swell, the more likely we become of bumping into something sharp and ending up in an embarrassed, rubbery mess on the floor. (Trust me – I know this one really well!)

Finally, when I’m struggling with this sort of situation, the thing that helps me the most is gratitude. I am profoundly grateful for knowing what I know and being able to do what I do, so it is my pleasure to share what I’ve learned with others. I strive to live by the truth that we get what we give, and I believe that of those to whom much is given, much is expected. With the power to consciously create what we want in our lives comes a lot of responsibility.

We may end up feeling like we give out and put up with more than our fair share, but if you think about it, it’s not really true. In fact, our lives are for the most part relatively wonderful and stress-free. Since we are so richly blessed, we can afford to generously and patiently guide the kindred spirits coming up the metaphysical trail from behind us.

That said, please know that you are not required to help or save anyone. I believe that doing so will bless you in countless ways, but not if you end up feeling frustrated, drained and taken advantage of. We are wise to do what we feel called to do as long as it feels good to us, but as soon as our vibration starts to sink, it’s time to surrender the results, get recentered in faith, and focus on whatever makes our own hearts soar.

– Soul Arcanum

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Maintaining a Strong Psychic Connection with Your Mate

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Energy/Vibration, Intuitive Development, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Maintaining a Strong Psychic Connection with Your Mate

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:
I’ve been married for three years. In the first years we were together, I felt very close to my husband; I felt like I could sense what he was thinking and feeling, often finished his sentences, etc. I felt like we were on the same page, so to speak. Then about four months ago, he was promoted to a new position that requires him to travel every week. (He’s home on the weekends.) I’ve noticed a dramatic shift in our relationship since this change; I just don’t feel that same sense of connection. I’m afraid we’re drifting apart on a deep, energetic level. How can we recreate and maintain that strong psychic connection we had in the beginning? Thank you so much!
Holly

Dear Holly:

When people live together, they naturally grow closer. In fact, the more time we spend with someone, the closer we grow to them. This is more than a result of our overt interactions, for we actually entrain to each others’ vibrations. This is also why it’s so powerful to spend time with a guru. A guru’s energy would be more powerful than our own, so it would raise our vibration. Similarly, when we’re in a weakened or vulnerable state, and we’re around someone who is down or depressed, they may drag us down to their level too.

When we first fall in love with someone, we are constantly building deep psychic cords with them. When we’re in their presence, we send tons of energy to them and receive the same back. We stare into their eyes, listen very intently to all they say, and send them tons of love and admiration from our hearts. We spend as much time as possible with them, and when we’re not with them, we’re usually sending out cords to them by thinking of them and feeling full of love for them, and all of this forges deep psychic bonds. When we then move in together and begin to sleep in the same bed, we spend about 1/3 of our lives basking in each others’ auras, which naturally leads to a great deal of entrainment. (Of course, having sex with someone is one of the most potent ways to form a psychic bond with them.)

Soul mates are people we forged strong loving psychic cords to in other lives. It’s like there is a rubber band connected between our hearts, and the stronger the love, the stronger and thicker that elastic band. Wherever we go, whether in this life or the afterlife, if we are separating from someone we’re strongly corded to, tension is created on that band. In this way, we are naturally drawn back together again. The same thing happens with people who hate each other, by the way: any intense emotion will create a strong cord that draws those parties back together again.

Since all of the above things deepen psychic bonds, it only makes sense that when we do the reverse – when we spend less time with someone, don’t sleep with them every night, and are caught up in lots of individual new personal activities or endeavors – we tend to feel distanced from them because we’re not feeding that psychic cord like we used to.

How to Maintain a Strong Psychic Bond with Someone at a Distance:

First I encourage you to talk to your husband about how you’re feeling. Depending on how open he is to metaphysical subjects, you may have to phrase some of what I suggest here in more mainstream terms. (For example, instead of talking about your auras and psychic connection, you might talk about your feelings and your desire to feel closer to him.) Your goal with this talk is to make a joint conscious agreement that you will both pour a lot of psychic/ emotional/ mental energy into maintaining a strong sense of connection.

My husband and I often talk about how connected (or disconnected) we feel. We’ve been together for nearly a decade now, and because we established in the beginning that we wanted to maintain the passionate connection we had early on, it has become normal for us to feel strongly linked. When we don’t, we miss it right away. As high divorce rates reveal, sustaining passionate relationships long-term takes a LOT of focus and energy; it doesn’t just happen. Many people wake up too late to this truth – like when their partner is walking out the door in frustration. If you want this relationship to prosper, you’ll both have to devote yourselves to keeping it vibrantly alive.

Though you may not be able to be together physically during the week, you can still be together mentally, emotionally and spiritually. After all, it’s only the physical body that is restricted by the laws of space and time – this is why psychics are able to peek into the future or tap into others’ energies even when they’re a world apart.

To remain metaphysically connected, you should communicate often. You might text each other throughout the day or send daily emails to each other. If you don’t know what to say, agree on a couple of things you’ll both cover, such as what stands out to you as you look back on your day, or what you’re most missing or appreciating about your partner at that time. The more you open up emotionally when communicating, the more you’ll feed your psychic bond to each other.

It would also be wise to schedule a phone call once or twice a day, perhaps first thing in the morning and then again at night before you go to bed. The key with this is not to just chat like this is some daily chore but to truly connect via the phone.

When you hang up, you might agree that as you drift off to sleep, you’ll meditate upon each other and imagine connecting in love: hugging, kissing, whatever you want to do. This will send energy to each other and also facilitate you both connecting in your dreams/on the astral plane, which will really help you stay connected. You might ask for this to happen as you fall asleep at night by setting your intention or praying for help from your guides and angels in meeting up with your partner during the night.

Surround yourselves with each others’ essence. For example, while he’s away, you could sleep in a shirt he has worn. The more it smells like him, the better. My husband wears Brut deodorant, which I love, and his shirts always smell like this. When he used to spend nights working at the fire station, I would often sleep in his shirt and breathe in his smell to feel close to him. Obviously, you want your husband to have something of yours that smells of your own essence too. (If he doesn’t want to wear it, he can just snuggle up with it, of course!)

You could also buy each other necklaces to affirm your mutual commitment to staying close. Wedding bands serve a similar function, but it will be especially powerful if you devote these articles of jewelry to creating and maintaining an extraordinary level of connection. Charge them by holding them in your joined hands. (Place his in your hands, and yours in his, and then place your hands so they’re touching.) Talk together about how you are going to keep this relationship full of passion and intimacy, and vow to each other to devote yourselves to this purpose. Then put the necklaces on each other. Every time you look at the necklaces in the mirror, touch them or think about them, remember your vow and send some loving energy to your partner.

Finally, make plans for what you’ll do together when he gets home on the weekend, and look forward to that time with a wonderful sense of anticipation. Talk about it all week long, think about it and smile, and remember: absence can make the heart grow fonder. With the right frame of mind, I think his new schedule could lead to some really passionate weekends!

– Soul Arcanum

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Keeping Spiritual Views Private

Filed Under: Psychic Ability, Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Keeping Spiritual Views Private

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’ve been on a spiritual journey for a number of years now, and for the most part I’ve kept this to myself. Now and then, however, I get questioned about my beliefs, and for some reason, I’m really uncomfortable talking about them. For example, the other day I gave a coworker a ride home, and she noticed a spiritual book on the seat of my car and started asking me about it. Do you think I should be more open about my beliefs? It sort of feels right to keep them to myself.
Margie

Dear Margie:

I can totally relate to your question. In fact, most acquaintances know only that I’m a writer and editor: they have no idea about my spiritual work and beliefs.

For one thing, I have no desire to engage in endless intellectual debates. My ego used to get a kick out of that sort of thing, but I now feel it’s just a waste of time that I could be using for far greater purposes. Years ago I asked the Universe to do me a little favor. I requested that if someone would benefit from hearing about my spiritual views, then they would find a way to ask me about them that made me want to open up and share. I also asked that if such a conversation would prove less than uplifting or beneficial for either party, then I would be spared the hassle. Ever since, I’ve not really had a problem with this issue. I also don’t discuss politics, nor do I debate parenting styles with other parents, for these sorts of conversations tend to breed conflict instead of love and harmony.

Nevertheless, there are times when I do feel called to explain my spiritual beliefs to others. Before I go into how I do that, I would like to remind you that you are never required to reveal anything about your spiritual beliefs to anyone else. There is nothing more personal than your relationship to God or the divine, so give yourself permission to hold this area of your life close to your heart and protect it as sacred. Also, always listen to and trust your intuition. If you feel called to stay mum, then you’re wise to do so.

My next observation has become something of a cliche in New Age circles, but that’s in part because it has a lot of truth in it: its the idea that many free thinkers alive today were religiously persecuted in past lives, or witnessed other people being ostracized, tortured and murdered for their religious beliefs. This has naturally made us wary about opening up about any uncommon or unusual views we may hold. From former pagans who were burned as witches to the many people alive now who were murdered during the Holocaust, there are many in New Age circles who have been through hell for their spiritual beliefs and learned that it’s just not worth it to rock the boat.

We enjoy far more religious freedom now than we have since the dawn of civilization. For many lifetimes we’ve had to either conform or keep our views quiet, so this is a long-established habit. Keeping these things in mind can help us understand our hesitation to put our beliefs on the chopping block.

There is a bright side to this dynamic, however, as it creates some ideal spiritual challenges for us. We are all learning to think for ourselves and trust the voice whispering in our own hearts more than our priests, teachers, parents, therapists, or any other outside influences. As this is a huge step forward spiritually, it naturally entails the need to overcome some fears and other ego issues. We’re all learning to rise above worrying about what other people will think of our spiritual beliefs so we can fully honor our personal truths and put our relationship with God first.

We’re also learning the fine balance required to honor our own truths while respecting others’ at the same time. Arenas like politics and religion offer us great opportunities to practice finding a wise approach. So if you think you’re a good diplomat and you want a new challenge, you might see how things go when you try engaging others in deep conversations about their spiritual beliefs.

I also don’t see any real need to discuss these matters unless we feel called to do so. In my view, everyone is just where they’re supposed to be, and the law of attraction will deliver what everyone needs when they need it, so I feel no duty to pursue or avoid anything in particular in this domain. If someone asks me about my beliefs and it feels right and good to open up, I do so. If I feel at all anxious or uncertain, I just keep things light and general, and shift the focus back to them. (Fortunately, people love to talk about themselves, so this is never a hard thing to do.)

Besides, I already know my own theories and stories, and I am genuinely interested in others’ spiritual views and experiences, so I prefer to be the one asking the questions instead of doing all the talking. My goal above all is to remain open-minded and open-hearted, so really listening to others is essential.

In fact, when I encounter someone who is really intense about their beliefs, I always stop and ask myself how I’ve attracted this person and if I’m just as rooted in my own views as they are in theirs. I can get just as complacent as anyone else, and have to be reminded that there is much I haven’t learned yet. This sort of conversation is great for illuminating our own ego issues, whether they involve self-esteem/fear of rejection or the arrogant assumption that I’ve got things figured out better than the other person.

When talking to others about this sort of thing, I do find it really helpful to focus on my experiences more than my beliefs. I also find it wise to convey how I used to be much more mainstream (perhaps just like them) and was just as blown away by the things that happened to me as anyone else would be. This tends to diffuse any ego tension in such conversations because people will argue with general ideas but they can’t argue with what you say happened to you personally. Instead of getting defensive because they think I’m trying to convince them of something, when I just explain what happened to me, people tend to be more open.

Despite my careful approach, sometimes people do reject me for being strange or different from them. They don’t usually say that out right, but since I’m super sensitive, I know what they’re generally feeling. I’m the sort of person who wants everyone to like me, but I’ve learned that this desire is also rooted in ego, so I’ve learned to be at peace with rejection. (On the bright side, I figure being rejected saves me from continuing to try to connect with someone I wouldn’t want to spend any real time with anyway.)

If you find yourself feeling worried about what others think of you, you might view it as a red flag that you have an ego issue rearing its ugly head, and seize that opportunity to work on your relationship to yourself, which is far more important than any relationship you’ll have with another person. You’ll know that you’re free of ego issues when you can open up and share from the heart with respect for the other person’s feelings but no concern for how they may judge or perceive you.

– Soul Arcanum

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Why Irritating People are Great Spiritual Teachers

Filed Under: Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Why Irritating People are Great Spiritual Teachers

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I understand that what irritates us about others is really about us. The part I have trouble with is figuring out how to actually take that irritation and apply it to myself. It’s like looking in a mirror with everything being backwards. Can you give me a short course on this matter?
– DeDe

Dear DeDe:

When someone does or says something that pushes a personal button for us, we tend to have a personal emotional reaction. By contrast, when someone does something abhorrent that we would never do, we may feel appalled but we won’t be personally indignant or annoyed.

For example, we may be shocked to hear about someone robbing a bank but not have a personal emotional reaction because this behavior is foreign and baffling to us. By contrast, we may feel really irritated when someone allows themselves to act in ways we wish we could act but rarely allow ourselves to.

I find it really annoying when people are lazy. No one would say that I am personally lazy; in fact, I tend to work all the time and rarely allow myself any down time. This doesn’t mean I’m not lazy, however; it means I don’t allow myself to be lazy. Whenever there is a lack of healthy balance, tension is born. I have traced my strong feelings about laziness back to my childhood, and even though I’m aware that I have some false beliefs and imbalances surrounding this subject, I haven’t resolved them yet, so I still tend to feel irritated when other people bring this issue up for me by being lazy.

By contrast, when I see someone working really hard and being rewarded for it, it underscores my own belief that it’s good to work hard. Thus I tend to like and respect hard workers because they’re like me. What I don’t consciously recognize most of the time is that lazy folks are like me too – they’re just like a part of me that I repress and deny because I don’t like it.

Another common example is the need to be right. I always think I’m right, and I find it really annoying to deal with someone who seems to think they are smarter than I am. When I step outside the ego and observe how I do the same thing, it’s pretty amusing. That sense of easy, nonjudgmental awareness is enlightening. When we can stop needing to be perfect and taking ourselves so seriously, we begin to see ourselves clearly. Then we can shift from the ego stance of I’m right and you’re wrong, to something more like Well, whaddya know!

Now let’s examine a subject I believe I have no real hang-ups about: sexuality. In my view – when it hasn’t been perverted by fear, shame, repression and denial – sex is all good. I have no problem with public displays of affection; in fact, it makes me happy to see others in love. I have no problem with homosexuality, bi-sexuality, free love or anything that doesn’t harm another person. I have no issue with anyone talking openly about sex or my own teenagers safely and respectfully exploring their sexuality. Given their intense socialization on this subject, most people have at least some repressed sexual issues, so many people are a bit shocked and disturbed by my relatively free sexuality.

That strong reaction is the thing to look for. As we become more conscious and begin to step outside the ego to truly observe ourselves, we begin to realize that our reactions to life and other people are not about them – they are entirely about us. No one else can make us feel any particular way at all: our responses are determined by who we are, what we believe, and how we interpret our experiences.

The more attached we are to seeing ourselves in a certain light, the stronger our reaction will be when others bring up parts of ourselves we don’t want to face. This doesn’t necessarily mean we act like those people; it usually means we have feelings we have fearfully repressed. Of course, sometimes we do act as they do but we don’t want to recognize it.

Further, the other person doesn’t even have to be a true reflection of ourselves – it’s what we see in them that reflects our own nature. A clear example of this is when one partner suspects the other partner of being unfaithful, when in truth, it is the suspicious partner who has been fooling around or at least thinking about it. This is where it becomes really clear that what we see in others is a reflection of our own true nature. People who assume the best of others tend to be well-intentioned themselves, while people who assume the worst are simply projecting their own shadows outward.

Once we realize we’re having a strong negative reaction to something or someone, we have to use our divine gift of reason to work our way toward some important realizations, such as:

I recognize that when I always need to look smart and right, I often just look ridiculous.

When I make up my mind that I already know the answers, I become incapable of learning anything new, and thus become LESS intelligent.

I’m attached to being right because I’m afraid of losing control of situations and the one-up position in relationships.

Being right may bring temporal satisfaction, but being loving brings lasting happiness.

This reasoning process naturally leads to greater wisdom and softens the ego so that the higher self may emerge more and more. When we become conscious of why we feel the way we do and how we’d like to feel and be instead, we become capable of positive change.

So when you have a negative reaction to someone or something, you might view it as a red flag drawing your attention to a personal issue or lesson. To resolve this, first shift from resistance to love by asking yourself what the other person is really after with their so-called negative behavior. If you can find compassion for them and give them what they want, you will move from hating them (and this part of yourself) to loving them (and this part of yourself), which will facilitate growth and healing. Further, we get what we give in life, so by giving to others what they seem to want, you will begin to attract a higher level of experience yourself.

For example:

If the other person wants to be right, can you let them be right? 

If they want to talk endlessly about themselves, can you let them talk and really listen? 

If they want more than their fair share, can you let them have it? 

If they want to criticize you, can you accept their criticism and apologize for anything you may have done or said to upset them? 

If they are rude, can you be polite in response? 

If they are angry, can you be soothing and validating? 

If they are lazy or misguided, can you allow them to learn from their own mistakes and reap whatever they sow? 

As you align with love, look within yourself. If you are annoyed because someone is lazy, ask yourself, Do I wish I gave myself more permission to be lazy too? Then examine your life for a lack of balance. If others are selfish, ask yourself if you wish you gave yourself permission to give more to yourself without feeling guilty about it. If they are angry, ask yourself if you are angry deep down and trying to deny or repress that anger.

Meditation, journaling, counseling and hypnotherapy are great tools for working through any issues that come up. When you get to the point where no one is wrong – where everyone is just doing their best to learn and grow – then you’ll know that you’re no longer caught up in ego-born denial or repression, and are on your way to greater embodiment of your own higher nature.

– Soul Arcanum

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Divorce Sparks Intuitive Awakening

Filed Under: Intuitive Development, Psychic Ability, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Divorce Sparks Intuitive Awakening

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I think that someone has cast a witchcraft spell on me and my children, and feel it may be my estranged husband or his lover. Yesterday I suddenly felt a cold unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. Our home is warm and there was no reason for this extreme coldness. My husband came over about 20 minutes after this, and this feeling came over me. There was then tension and disruption from my son, who had been perfectly sweet for weeks until then. Tonight when my husband arrived, the same coldness came over me, and tension filled the air. He is a very angry, selfish person, and I wonder if he might have a dark entity or dark spirit attached to him. Before I found out about his affair, I had a vivid dream of tiny gremlins running up my bed onto my hand and trying to pull my wedding ring off. I wrestled with them in my dream, and it was so vivid that I awoke holding onto my hand, covering my rings and crying for help. About a year later, I felt a soft energy leave my ring one day, and it felt like the blessings that had been placed on the ring on our wedding day were evaporating. I actually felt the energy of our vows go from the ring. What do you make of all of this?
– Soul Arcanum

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I found what you wrote about your wedding ring to be really interesting, for it reminded me of an amazing experience I had years ago when my own marriage was unraveling. At the time of this event, I was sitting in a college class, thinking deeply about my marriage. Silently, I asked God if my marriage would or could make it, and at that moment, I felt drawn to look down at my rings. To my surprise, I saw that one of the main emeralds in my engagement ring was missing; the setting was empty in that spot.

I thought this was the sign I was looking for, but I wasn’t totally convinced. I couldn’t remember the last time I had really looked at my rings, so I told myself that this stone could have been missing for a while. When I got home that night, I gave the engagement ring to my husband to take to the jeweler, so I was only wearing my wedding band after this.

While in that same class the following week, I remembered what had happened, and I decided to ask the same question again in hopes of receiving another sign. I never expected it to come to me through my rings again, so I spent a number of minutes looking around and listening to people in the class for a sign before I noticed that my wedding band was split in two. It remained on my finger without a problem, but when I really looked at it, I saw that there was a crack completely through it on one side. I knew this was new because I had just carefully examined my rings when I discovered the emerald missing. This convinced me! As you have probably surmised, the marriage didn’t make it, but it’s now ten years later and I’m very happily remarried, so it all worked out.

I think this story illustrates not only how asking for a sign can yield amazing results, but also how objects like wedding rings can and do hold energy. We imbue them with that energy when we bless and consecrate them as symbols of something we hold sacred, and they can reflect what they represent in some amazing ways. So I don’t doubt that you did indeed feel the energy of your vows evaporating from your ring that day.

I also found your dream about the gremlins fascinating, and I see two possible interpretations here. First, the dream may have been a literal reflection of something happening in the astral. In other words, maybe there really were astral entities at work in this situation, perhaps stirring up lust in your husband (his weak spot), and thus damaging your marriage. However, it’s also possible that your own inner being was trying to warn you about what was going on, and because you didn’t want to face the truth, it gave you this gremlin metaphor to try to warn you that something was tearing your marriage apart.

As for the other things you’re sensing, I have to say that it’s normal for there to be psychic/emotional tension when people are divorcing, and it’s common for kids to act out in response to that tension and their own emotional turmoil. At the same time, however, it’s clear that you are highly psychically sensitive.

Because you are so sensitive, you will be affected by everyday emotional tension more than most people, but you’ll also pick up on subtle energies and intuitive warnings. Further, there doesn’t have to be an overt spell cast on you for you to experience the things you’ve described. Some of these sensations are your intuition trying to tell you things to help you, and one of those things may indeed be that someone is sending ill will your way. We may experience this as cold, pain or tingling, or we may find that person frequently pops into our minds for no apparent reason.

It’s also highly possible that your ex does have a negative entity attached to him, which can also feel like the coldest cold. Many people have negative entities attached to them and never realize it. Certainly anyone who is in emotional turmoil or lacks emotional control is a prime candidate, as is anyone who is really “angry and selfish.” Negative emotions like stress, rage, grief, and jealousy make us vulnerable to attachment and big targets for these entities, so people who are going through divorce, grieving, or suffering any other major life crisis often struggle with lower astral entities.

It’s wise to make peace with everyone in our lives for lots of reasons, and the potential for psychic attack is a big one. When we harbor anger or resentment for others, we damage our own happiness, drain our own energy, and waste our time wishing others ill when we could be out fulfilling our dreams. At the same time, when people harbor resentment toward US, if we are not consciously cultivating well-being, it can affect us. (It will affect them adversely even more in the long run, but often people who are really ticked off don’t care as long as they get revenge.)

Besides, most people have no idea that by brooding over something that someone said or did, they are sending that person negative energy and potentially harming that person as well as themselves. (Remember: we get what we give, and whatever we focus upon expands in our lives.) Heck, most people don’t seem to realize that they can have control over their own thoughts and feelings – they think they just happen to them.

In light of all of this, I recommend you let go of the idea that a spell has been cast on you, and cultivate well-being in the following ways:

1) Thank your intuition and learn to work with it and trust it. You are highly psychic, and are receiving lots of warnings, information and insights designed to help you.

2) Make peace with your ex-husband and his mistress. Assume that they deserve each other, and that you must deserve better. I’d look upon this as a blessing, for you’ve been set free from marriage to a mean, selfish man, and can now move on to new and higher love.

3) Wish everyone well. Love yourself and take good care of yourself and your children. Wish your ex, his new lover, and everyone you know all the blessings you desire for yourself. Cultivate love, peace, good will and happiness. Then even if others try to send cold shadows to disturb you, your bright inner light will keep those shadows at bay.

– Soul Arcanum

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Divorce Sparks Intuitive Awakening

Filed Under: Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Divorce Sparks Intuitive Awakening

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I think that someone has cast a witchcraft spell on me and my children, and feel it may be my estranged husband or his lover. Yesterday I suddenly felt a cold unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. Our home is warm and there was no reason for this extreme coldness. My husband came over about 20 minutes after this, and this feeling came over me. There was then tension and disruption from my son, who had been perfectly sweet for weeks until then. Tonight when my husband arrived, the same coldness came over me, and tension filled the air. He is a very angry, selfish person, and I wonder if he might have a dark entity or dark spirit attached to him. Before I found out about his affair, I had a vivid dream of tiny gremlins running up my bed onto my hand and trying to pull my wedding ring off. I wrestled with them in my dream, and it was so vivid that I awoke holding onto my hand, covering my rings and crying for help. About a year later, I felt a soft energy leave my ring one day, and it felt like the blessings that had been placed on the ring on our wedding day were evaporating. I actually felt the energy of our vows go from the ring. What do you make of all of this?
– Soul Arcanum

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I found what you wrote about your wedding ring to be really interesting, for it reminded me of an amazing experience I had years ago when my own marriage was unraveling. At the time of this event, I was sitting in a college class, thinking deeply about my marriage. Silently, I asked God if my marriage would or could make it, and at that moment, I felt drawn to look down at my rings. To my surprise, I saw that one of the main emeralds in my engagement ring was missing; the setting was empty in that spot.

I thought this was the sign I was looking for, but I wasn’t totally convinced. I couldn’t remember the last time I had really looked at my rings, so I told myself that this stone could have been missing for a while. When I got home that night, I gave the engagement ring to my husband to take to the jeweler, so I was only wearing my wedding band after this.

While in that same class the following week, I remembered what had happened, and I decided to ask the same question again in hopes of receiving another sign. I never expected it to come to me through my rings again, so I spent a number of minutes looking around and listening to people in the class for a sign before I noticed that my wedding band was split in two. It remained on my finger without a problem, but when I really looked at it, I saw that there was a crack completely through it on one side. I knew this was new because I had just carefully examined my rings when I discovered the emerald missing. This convinced me! As you have probably surmised, the marriage didn’t make it, but it’s now ten years later and I’m very happily remarried, so it all worked out.

I think this story illustrates not only how asking for a sign can yield amazing results, but also how objects like wedding rings can and do hold energy. We imbue them with that energy when we bless and consecrate them as symbols of something we hold sacred, and they can reflect what they represent in some amazing ways. So I don’t doubt that you did indeed feel the energy of your vows evaporating from your ring that day.

I also found your dream about the gremlins fascinating, and I see two possible interpretations here. First, the dream may have been a literal reflection of something happening in the astral. In other words, maybe there really were astral entities at work in this situation, perhaps stirring up lust in your husband (his weak spot), and thus damaging your marriage. However, it’s also possible that your own inner being was trying to warn you about what was going on, and because you didn’t want to face the truth, it gave you this gremlin metaphor to try to warn you that something was tearing your marriage apart.

As for the other things you’re sensing, I have to say that it’s normal for there to be psychic/emotional tension when people are divorcing, and it’s common for kids to act out in response to that tension and their own emotional turmoil. At the same time, however, it’s clear that you are highly psychically sensitive.

Because you are so sensitive, you will be affected by everyday emotional tension more than most people, but you’ll also pick up on subtle energies and intuitive warnings. Further, there doesn’t have to be an overt spell cast on you for you to experience the things you’ve described. Some of these sensations are your intuition trying to tell you things to help you, and one of those things may indeed be that someone is sending ill will your way. We may experience this as cold, pain or tingling, or we may find that person frequently pops into our minds for no apparent reason.

It’s also highly possible that your ex does have a negative entity attached to him, which can also feel like the coldest cold. Many people have negative entities attached to them and never realize it. Certainly anyone who is in emotional turmoil or lacks emotional control is a prime candidate, as is anyone who is really “angry and selfish.” Negative emotions like stress, rage, grief, and jealousy make us vulnerable to attachment and big targets for these entities, so people who are going through divorce, grieving, or suffering any other major life crisis often struggle with lower astral entities.

It’s wise to make peace with everyone in our lives for lots of reasons, and the potential for psychic attack is a big one. When we harbor anger or resentment for others, we damage our own happiness, drain our own energy, and waste our time wishing others ill when we could be out fulfilling our dreams. At the same time, when people harbor resentment toward US, if we are not consciously cultivating well-being, it can affect us. (It will affect them adversely even more in the long run, but often people who are really ticked off don’t care as long as they get revenge.)

Besides, most people have no idea that by brooding over something that someone said or did, they are sending that person negative energy and potentially harming that person as well as themselves. (Remember: we get what we give, and whatever we focus upon expands in our lives.) Heck, most people don’t seem to realize that they can have control over their own thoughts and feelings – they think they just happen to them.

In light of all of this, I recommend you let go of the idea that a spell has been cast on you, and cultivate well-being in the following ways:

  1. Thank your intuition and learn to work with it and trust it. You are highly psychic, and are receiving lots of warnings, information and insights designed to help you.
  2. Make peace with your ex-husband and his mistress. Assume that they deserve each other, and that you must deserve better. I’d look upon this as a blessing, for you’ve been set free from marriage to a mean, selfish man, and can now move on to new and higher love.
  3. Wish everyone well. Love yourself and take good care of yourself and your children. Wish your ex, his new lover, and everyone you know all the blessings you desire for yourself. Cultivate love, peace, good will and happiness. Then even if others try to send cold shadows to disturb you, your bright inner light will keep those shadows at bay.

– Soul Arcanum

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