Category: Healing


Dealing With Grief When There is Much Unfinished Business

Filed Under: Death and Dying, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Dealing With Grief When There is Much Unfinished Business

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My boyfriend of 10 months died suddenly at the end of January, 2004. His death was related to alcohol poisoning. He was an alcoholic, and had lied to me about his sobriety. We broke up in November, spoke briefly in December, but never resolved anything, though we had decided to try to be friends. I was not informed of his death until mid March, and then “by accident.” I missed the funeral and have no sense of closure. Though he was a tormented man, I loved him, and I am still having trouble coming to terms with all of this. Can you comment on any past life connection, or how to deal with the grief of the sudden passing of a loved one when there is much “unfinished business?” I have since learned that he was unable to stay sober for very long, that he had “pulled it together” and met me during one of his sober periods. I spent the last year of his life with him, and I would like to think that I brought him some happiness. He was a very difficult and moody man, and at times was abusive. He also struggled with depression, but never really got the help he needed. Thank you for your kindness in responding to this letter.
Sincerely,
Miranda

Dear Miranda:

Most people will struggle to make peace with the passing of a loved one due to unfinished business at some point in their lives. First, it’s important to realize that not every spirit will instantly become “enlightened” upon passing over. Those with negative habits that they failed to overcome during life don’t instantly shed that heavy energy, especially when those habits were more mental, emotional and spiritual than physical. (Drug addiction would arise from an inability to cope in a healthy way with life’s emotional stresses). We should not expect someone who had such problems while alive to suddenly be all love and light once on the other side.

On the other hand, relationships between many parents and children (and other family members) are often rife with misunderstandings. In those cases, the parents usually instantly see the “big picture” once on the other side, and are anxious to come through and say that nothing that they fought about with their kids was really important. They very much want their children to be happy, and want to communicate that they are proud of them and love them deeply.

I am a Spiritualist minister, and I believe Spiritualism is the answer here. It’s a wonderful source of healing for those who are trying to find peace with the passing of a loved one, whether this involves clearing up unfinished business or just knowing that those no longer here on Earth with us are okay.

There are wonderful little Spiritualist churches hidden in pockets all over the U.S. and Great Britain. I myself have been attending one in a town about a half hour away, and I have found perhaps a dozen or so other churches within an hour from my home. There are many gifted mediums and healers working out of these churches. One thing that amazes me is how few people generally attend these services, or perhaps even know about them. Given the popularity of medium John Edwards, and the fact that many local mediums are just as gifted as he is, I can only assume that folks have no idea this sort of work is readily available and happening regularly right in their own communities.

I strongly encourage anyone who is grieving to visit a Spiritualist church or a Spiritualist medium. Imagine a medium bringing through evidential information and facilitating communication that leads to closure. This is powerful healing work!

You can also pray and ask for a direct connection with a loved one. You might begin by writing a letter, and then meditate and allow your loved one to “write back to you” by writing down everything that comes to you.

For most loved ones in spirit, this will work. With your friend John and others who had mental/emotional problems, however, it may be harder for THEM to come through. People who were deeply challenged in honestly, sincerely connecting with others when living will have to work to develop those abilities in the beyond. However, others in Spirit such as spirit guides could come through and help facilitate peace and understanding.

You can also just meditate and ask to be given peace with all of this. This can lead to a heart connection (without words) with a loved one in Spirit, or it can just lead you to new peace and understanding above and beyond any connection or relationship you may have or have had with anyone else.

Also, we would all be wise to remember that it is much easier to finish our business while our loved ones are still here on the Earth plane with us. If we don’t clear it up now, we’ll have to do so eventually. Whether you meet them later in this life, the afterlife, or a future life, if you ended things on a bad note, you’ll have to clear that up. I prefer to get those weights off my heart as soon as possible.

One way we can find compassion for those who have hurt us is to ask ourselves if we would rather be “us” (and mistreated) or be the other person – so lost at a soul level that we are capable of atrocious behavior. I personally would rather be mistreated than cruel. I also like to point out that our rough pasts have made us who we are today. None of us would want to give up any of our strength or wisdom, so how we can truly regret the past?

I encourage everyone who is carrying around hurt feelings or bitterness to move toward forgiveness as soon as possible, for their own sakes. It’s the most important spiritual work we can do! So turn off the TV, put aside the lawn mower and the laundry, and make sure all your relationships are in order. Reach out with love and compassion to apologize to those you have harmed and forgive those you feel have harmed you.

I pray that you find the peace and understanding that I have found in Spiritualism’s gifts and teachings. May this whole experience lead you to new wisdom and happiness!

– Soul Arcanum

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Dealing with Negative, Draining People

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Intuitive Development, Psychic Ability, Psychic Protection, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Dealing with Negative, Draining People

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I consider myself to be a pretty positive person who tries to see the good in people as well as in situations. Right now I am working on learning how to manifest what I want by studying how I function as a person and how I can remove the blocks that are limiting my experience. I am living with a man who is very set on seeing the negative aspects of everything that happens instead of the positive ones. He says things like, “Why would anything ever work out when it never has before? Why would I ever get what I want when I never have before?” Now recently we were offered the opportunity to start a business, which would be connected to an already existing business, and I am wondering to what extent my partner’s negative views will interfere with my attempts to create success. I truly believe that this can become a very lucrative, positive endeavor for us. Will his negative energy make it harder for me to manifest what I want? Is it possible for a person to try to manifest something for herself and her partner when the partner doesn’t have faith that it will work out in a good way? Can I make it work with him?
Thank you!
Soul Arcanum

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Soul Arcanum, I get a surprising number of similar questions. It’s rare for two people to be spiritually on the same page at the same time; one person is usually a bit more “evolved” or “together” than the other. Sometimes those roles shift and change, but sometimes, the difference is marked from the start, or a pattern will become apparent over time, where one person pulls ahead as the “giver” and the other person is more the “taker.” What’s really interesting to me is how often “givers” will be the ones putting in most of the energy to maintain the relationship.

Often what givers are getting is a sense of being “loved,” though in truth, the other person is just dependent on them for help, support or energy. Others are in it for the self-esteem boost they get from being such a selfless “saint,” or from feeling like they’re so much more together than the taker. (Observing folks with really messy lives tends to make us grateful for our relatively minor problems). There IS a place for selfless, one-sided giving, but it’s not in key relationships where we expect our energy/investment to be returned in kind. One-sided relationships are fine for ministers/ therapists/ doctors/ healers/ teachers, etc. to have with those they help, but we should seek equals we respect, trust and admire as friends, business partners and lovers. It’s unwise in any relationship to pour our hearts and souls into “negative” people who never make sincere efforts to improve their lives.

Often even relationships that were once wonderful or “perfect” become unhealthy for all involved. I frequently see this in long-term marriages when one partner wakes up and decides to learn and grow. As this partner moves into a new level of understanding and wisdom, she may at first try to share her new spiritual discoveries with her partner, but this is usually an exercise in disappointment and frustration. If she lets go and simply decides to follow her own heart and her own path, her energy will separate even more from her mate’s. Throughout this process the tension is growing. What used to be a good fit is now heavy or restrictive to the progressive partner.

As you mentioned that you’re “learning how to manifest,” I think this is what is happening. Your conscious awareness of the power of positive (and negative) thinking is new, and while you may have known your partner had a bad attitude before, you had no strong desire to be positive yourself. Now you’re singing at a higher note, and the “chord” created by your combined energies is discordant and jarring to your very soul. You try to be unconditionally loving, patient, compassionate, etc., but every time you try to soar and he strikes that negative note, your whole being just cringes. This is your inner guidance telling you that what you’re experiencing is not what your higher self really wants.

When the discordant relationship in question is sexually intimate, it’s especially important to make sure that you’re with someone whose energy is as positive/high as yours, for intimacy is a deep blending of energies. While you may uplift him and make him feel better, he will tend to bring you down, and as you now know, feeling “down” is going to limit your power to manifest your goals and dreams.

In all close relationships (whether we’re lovers, partners or best friends with someone), if the other person’s energy is not harmonious with our own, we will gradually start to change. We will not “be ourselves” anymore, and sometimes, we won’t even realize it until we spend a consistent period of time away from the situation. I used to spend a lot of time with a friend whose life was always in turmoil. Eventually her behavior got more and more disturbing and I pulled away. I recently spent some time with her again, and only then did it strike me how much better I’ve felt NOT being around her. I had returned to my true vibration. When we’re not sure about continuing a troubled relationship, often taking a six-week break like this will realign us with our own true vibration and lead us to clarity.

While it’s great to have an open heart, if we want happiness and fulfillment in relationships, we have to be discerning. People who take responsibility for creating their own realities approach life very differently from those who see themselves as victims of circumstance. In owning their personal power to create for better or worse in their own lives, they enjoy much more success and happiness.

I therefore encourage you to go into business with someone who pumps you up. Find someone whose strengths and weaknesses are complementary to your own. When two positive, conscious creators get together with a common intention, magic happens through the power of synergy. Instead of 1 + 1 = 2, 1 + 1 = unlimited potential.

Also, you’re in the midst of a big personal transition. Not only will your man’s heavy, negative energy weigh you down and potentially limit your success, but your discomfort with his negativity reveals that you’re moving apart in vibration. Should you choose separate paths in the near future, it will be much more complicated if you’re in business together.

Ultimately, deciding whether or not to go into business with your man depends on how you would end up FEELING about all of this. If you’re capable of staying passionately upbeat and positive despite his negative mood, then your energy could prevail, for one who is connected to the stream of pure, positive energy is more powerful than a thousand who are not. That’s a big “if” however, especially to maintain day in and day out. If he “brings you down,” or you get impatient, critical or fed up with him, then both of you will be down, and you know where that will get you.

Choosing a negative person as a partner is choosing a very uphill path. You’re better off on your own, or manifesting a partner who shares your positive beliefs and will match your uplifting, creative energy with some power and wisdom of his or her own.

May you know the thrilling, magical power of synergy, and enjoy a wonderful journey to big success!

– Soul Arcanum

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Spiritual Keys to Health and Happiness

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Spiritual Keys to Health and Happiness

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

With the new year getting underway, many people are sorting out all that is meaningless from what really matters. I know this is probably a tall order, but if you had to sum up what you have learned from working with Spirit, what would it be? What do you believe is the key to health and happiness in life?
– Randy

Dear Randy:

This is indeed a tall order, but I’ll do my best.

At a fundamental level, feeling good is ultimately simply a matter of balance between desire and faith. Desire is what summons life force. If we were free from all desire, we wouldn’t be here. At the very least, we have a desire to survive. The more desire we have, the stronger our life force grows. A strong life force generates a sense of passion and vitality.

Now, some people have a lot of desire, but it’s not supported by enough faith: faith in their own ability to fulfill their desires, faith in the Universe as a benevolent place where desires can be fulfilled, faith in Spirit and humankind to be supportive. Their desire is big, but their beliefs are very limited. The limited beliefs choke off the life force, thus creating pressure, which is experienced as stress and frustration.

When desire and faith are in good balance, we experience various degrees of health and happiness. If you have very few desires and mediocre dreams, you don’t need so much life force to support them. So long as your desires and your ability to channel your own creative life force to support them are in balance, you’ll be relatively content and able to function. (Ho-hum). You may not feel vibrantly alive, but most people shuffle along through life at this “okay” level. They get up, they go to work, they come home, they order a pizza and turn on the TV, and then they get up and do it all over again the next day. They may sometimes wish for more, but not enough to actually get up and make it happen.

If you long for more than that, if you have big dreams burning in your heart, then you have to develop the big, positive beliefs and expectations to support those desires in order to enjoy health and happiness. (This is why big dreamers are always talking and writing about the power of positive thinking, the law of attraction, etc.) If you think about this, it only makes sense. If someone carries a very strong, burning desire to be president, but he doesn’t really believe he can succeed, he will live in disappointment and frustration. Those who HAVE become president had to want it tremendously and truly believe that they could make it happen.

When we’re ever pushing past where we’ve gone before, but not so far that we lose our balance, we feel alive, challenged and excited. In terms of our health, this may mean athletic conditioning and development. In terms of our work, this might mean seeking promotion or building a business. In terms of relationships, this might mean striving for greater communication and intimacy.

If we have big desires but we hold back from going as far as we might go out of fear of failure, then we start to feel dull, bored, unfulfilled and lifeless. At this point health issues such as depression, cancer and addictions arise. (It may seem ironic, but folks who get depressed generally have BIG desires, but they don’t allow themselves to pursue them, usually because they don’t feel entitled to for various reasons). Conversely, if we push too far before we’ve integrated the personal power and beliefs to support success at that level, we have to work too hard to make things happen, and we end up burned out, broken down, stressed out, resentful and in pain. At this end of the spectrum, health issues such as anxiety attacks, accidents/injuries and heart problems can develop.

Health and happiness is thus a matter of constantly aligning the energy we’re summoning with our desire to the energy we’re able to flow based on our level of personal spiritual development. One great way to step up our inner vibration (and thus increase our potential to manifest big desires) is by helping others to manifest what THEY want. If you’re looking for that summary of what I’ve learned from working with Spirit, here it is: to find fulfillment in life, help others to get what they want and need.

Most of us have learned that whatever we send out comes back to us, at least in simple ways. For example, we may know that criticizing others doesn’t make us really feel better than them – it just leaves us feeling angry and unlovable. When we look for and point out the good in others, however, we end up dwelling in positive energy and feeling better about ourselves. This ripples out to make us more attractive to others, who return our positive energy. This same dynamic happens in every area of our lives, in ways big and small, visible and invisible.

So if we help others to succeed or get what they want in life, we will be helped and supported in kind. When we offer kindness and compassion to someone who is down, even if someone isn’t directly kind and compassionate to US, we end up feeling better about ourselves and our own lives, and there is no way to put a value on the personal fulfillment, pride, love, joy and high spirits that liking and respecting ourselves will produce.

Here’s another analogy: Imagine that life is a great big basketball game. If we try to hog the ball because we think we can somehow get more than we give (and a whole lot of miserable people approach life this way), the Universe will quickly learn that we should receive the ball LESS, and we’ll end up feeling angry, lonely or frustrated. People who live this way feel underpaid, underloved and underappreciated. The more they try to “get,” the less they end up with.

If our beliefs are limited or fearful, if we lack the faith and courage to take a risk, then we may never raise our hands and tell the Universe to pass us the ball. We may want very much to win, but our beliefs don’t support us taking the risks required to really make exciting things happen. People who live like this stay in the same dull or unhappy jobs and relationships indefinitely. They may be “nice people,” but they’re often bored, sad, lifeless, depressed or hopeless.

If we set ourselves up for a good shot, if we believe we can do it and we shoot when it feels right – exhilaration! If we pass to our teammates when they’re open (look for opportunities to help others get what they want), the ball will get passed back to us, and we’ll all just keep scoring and winning. Even when we aren’t the ones doing the scoring, so to speak, in being of service to others, we’re still “on the winning team.” In helping others, we just can’t lose!

So to try to sum it up, the key to creating health and happiness in life is to help others achieve the same. We must also keep desire alive by exploring new dreams and experiences, and balance that desire by open-mindedly updating our beliefs about what we’re capable of and how the Universe works with us as we go. When we do these things, we stay in the exciting game of life, endlessly playing our way to new achievements, experiences, blessings, challenges and joys. This dynamic movement forward is what produces health and happiness.

To boost yourself into new success and well-being, I highly recommend you develop the habit of looking for ways to help others get what they want in life.

– Soul Arcanum

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Chakra Clearing and Charging Meditation

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Meditation by Soul Arcanum — 1 Comment

copyright Soul Arcanum LLLC, 1998, 2007

 

This meditation is helpful whenever you need to get recentered in clarity and well-being.

Lie or sit in a relaxed and comfortable position, as you would for any meditation. Your spine should be straight and your head in alignment with your body. This meditation is in script mode, should you want to tape it and listen to it while performing the meditation. A free audio recording of this meditation can be found here.

It is preferable to learn about energy and the methods of balancing, cleansing and charging the chakras, and allow one’s own inner voice to lead the meditation. The following is just one way of performing energy balancing. Allow your meditations to evolve and to reflect your individual values and beliefs. If taped, a slow, deliberate pace should be used with a soothing voice and the appropriate pauses. The body should already be relaxed and the mind tranquil when beginning this meditation. Eyes are closed.

“Now that you are relaxed and feeling very much at peace, take a moment to ground yourself here in this moment, in this body, in this place, in this time. Take some deep breaths…In….and out….In….and out….Follow the breath as it flows toward your nostrils, as it enters your nose, as it fills your lungs and then as it is expelled. That’s right…just relax into this quiet, peaceful moment. Breathe in, following your breath…and let it go. In…and out. With every breath that you let go, you find yourself going deeper and deeper into a profound state of relaxation.

Feel the sweet heaviness of your body as it sinks into perfect relaxation. Become aware of your body from head to toe, of your weight, of the heaviness of your limbs.

Now focus on the area at the base of the spine, the area between your legs. This is the root chakra. Its energy is red, and it governs your physical body, your physical health and vitality. In your mind, study the appearance of this chakra. Note its color and vitality. Mentally envision the chakra and note any symbolic symptoms of dis-ease. Have you been caring well for your body? If your chakra is dusty, dirty, torn, or otherwise less than a perfectly brilliant red whirling vortex, imagine your hands or those of a guide working on the chakra. If it is dirty, clean away the dirt and throw it into an imaginary pail with a lid. Allow those hands to repair any imperfections, and when the chakra is beautifully clean, mentally take the pail and hurl it into the sun. Watch it as it travels through space and then bursts into a billion bits of energy upon solar contact. Know that the sun will recycle this energy back into the universe.

Now turn your attention back to the root chakra. It is a clean and red. You are surrounded by brilliant, beautiful red root energy. Imagine the room glowing red with this energy, and feel its strength and power. See red swirls of energy flowing to your root chakra. You may even feel this as a tingling as the energy fills your root chakra. As the energy swirls in, your chakra grows large and deep red and strong. Allow the energy to fill your chakra until it is so immense that it extends several feet from your body. In your mind you can see your root chakra: it’s a brilliant red swirling vortex of physical power and energy. You feel healthy, fit, strong, grounded and powerful!

Now shift your focus up to your abdomen, to the area of the womb (or where the womb would be if you’re male). This is the orange chakra, which controls clear thinking and creativity. Take a moment to observe this chakra. Note its color and vitality. Is it clean and strong or is there work to be done here? Allow those invisible hands to cleanse the chakra, to repair or heal it. Discard any imperfections in the pail, and send the pail to the sun to recycle that energy. Now focus on the orange chakra again. It is now clean and whole and a bright, energizing orange. Call out to the universe for orange creative energy, and feel the space around you begin to glow orange. With a tingle, you feel the energy begin to swirl into your chakra, charging it with vitality, with creativity, with clarity. Watch as your orange chakra grows and whirls until it extends out from your body for several feet, just as the red root chakra is still whirling and strong. You feel passionate, creative, clear and confident in your ability to come up with answers and solutions to any problem.

Now shift from the red chakra, up through the orange chakra to the solar plexus. This is the heart of the yellow chakra, which governs will power and ambition. It’s the channel through which we interact with other people and the world. Take a few moments to examine this chakra, and note its color and appearance. Have you been lazy lately, or perhaps too driven? Have you been too passive or controlling? Examine your will through this chakra. Allow the invisible hands to cleanse the chakra and heal it, discarding any imperfections or impurities in the pail. Send the pail to the sun for recycling.

Now return your attention to the yellow chakra, the center of your will power. It is now clean and a bright yellow. With your heart, ask the Universe to send you yellow energy: “Universe, strengthen my will so I can achieve my goals and manifest my desires!” Feel the yellow energy surrounding your body, and with a tingle, feel the energy swirl into your solar plexus. In your mind you can see your red/root chakra glowing, whirling, your orange/womb chakra pulsing brilliantly, and your yellow/solar plexus chakra glowing strongly, extending several feet from your body. You now feel relaxed, confident, flexible, empowered, productive, competent and successful.

Now turn your attention to the middle of your chest, to the heart chakra, the green chakra. You may feel an instant wave of emotion as you focus your attention here, for this chakra governs your feelings, your emotional connections to others and to the universe, to life itself. Examine this chakra. Note its color, vitality and any impurities. Gently allow those invisible hands to cleanse and purify your heart chakra. Reflect a moment on how you’ve been feeling emotionally lately. Are there bindings holding onto old pain? Is the chakra tight and hard with anger? Is your heart open with love and acceptance of yourself and others? Release any tensions, imperfections or impurities to the pail. Send them to the sun for recycling. You can always reclaim them later if you should want to, but for now, you can release any pain or anger, and set your heart free.

Now focus back on the heart chakra. It is clean and a beautiful green color. It whirls strongly and evenly. “Universe, send me green energy for my heart! Open my heart to the world, to all beings great and small with compassion for our shared life journey. Fill my heart with love energy, so that I may give love to others and receive it in return.” Feel the green energy whirling into your heart. Watch the chakra grow and glow and spin with this new energy. From the red chakra through the orange chakra through the yellow chakra through the green chakra, your chakras are cleansed and charged and immense with energy. You now feel loving, tolerant, understanding and compassionate. Your heart is open to life, love and happiness.

Now focus on the throat chakra, the blue chakra which governs communication and personal expression. Examine the chakra, noting the color and any imperfections. Perhaps you haven’t been honoring your own truths and speaking up when you should, or perhaps you’ve been talking over others, or not listening well. Perhaps you’ve been feeling shy and afraid to extend your energy in communication. Allow the hands to heal and cleanse the chakra, and when finished, send the impurities to the sun for recycling. Now the chakra is clean and strong and bright blue. Feel the air fill with blue universal energy. Feel the throat open as this energy swirls into the throat chakra. This energy charges your aura with magnetism, drawing others to you. Feel your throat open with this swirling, strong blue energy. You feel confident in your ideas and your ability to express them well. You are ready to both express yourself and truly listen to others.

Now focus on the middle of your forehead, on the third eye. This chakra is indigo and governs intellect, psychic vision and intuition. Examine the chakra for imperfections. Perhaps it is locked up due to fear. Perhaps it no longer spins out of neglect/stagnation. Or maybe it’s chaotic due to racing thoughts. Allow the hands to cleanse the chakra, to heal any imperfections and recycle them in the sun.

Now look at the chakra. It is a beautiful deep indigo, clean and whirling. There is psychic energy available to you beyond measure. Feel it charge the air, swirl in and around and fill your third eye chakra with deep, soulful indigo energy. Feel the third eye open, and note any mental visions as this occurs. Now is a good time to pray for greater psychic power. You feel clear-headed, insightful, intuitive and keenly aware of all levels of reality.

Note the red/root chakra, the orange/womb chakra, bright, strong, big! Move your attention up to the yellow/solar plexus chakra, to the green/heart chakra, open and brilliant, to the blue/throat chakra and the indigo/third eye chakra. Your chakras are huge, whirling, and fully charged.

Now focus your attention at the crown of your head. This chakra is violet near the body, fading to white further away. This chakra governs your connection to the Universe/God/Spirit/Source. This chakra is like an umbilical cord to “home.” Reflect on your spirituality of late as you examine the chakra and allow any healing needed.

In my experience this chakra generally needs much less work than the others. Allow the hands to heal, to cleanse, and recycle the discarded energy in the sun. Now examine the chakra. It is brilliantly violet, glowing white around the outside. Mentally reach out to the Divine, and feel the response, the energy flowing back to you. Pray for the peace and joy of a strong crown chakra connection. Feel the violet energy flowing in, a loving embrace of your whole self, of your soul. See the crown chakra grow enormous, and the white energy surrounding your body. You feel calm and centered in your higher self, with a deep faith that all is well.

All your chakras are now clean, charged and in balance. From the red/root chakra, to the orange/womb chakra, to the yellow/solar plexus chakra, to the green/heart chakra, to the blue/throat chakra, to the deep purple/third eye to the violet/crown, your chakras are spinning and whirling, full of energy and vitality. See the white energy that extends up and out from the crown chakra enveloping your whole body in a egg of white energy.

You are completely refreshed, calm, and peaceful. Your energy is balanced. You are full of vitality. As you arise from this meditation, you will feel wonderful in every way: energized, confident, open, clear-headed, peaceful and ready for some wonderful new adventures!

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