Category: Healing


Fully Healing Negative Feelings

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Fully Healing Negative Feelings

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum: A while ago you wrote about letting go of blame, guilt, etc. in your column about cancer. What are some good ways to do this? I find that I may think I let go of something one day, but then the feelings are back the next. Any ideas?
– Soul Arcanum

Dear Soul Arcanum:

First it’s important to allow yourself to feel what you really feel. While I am a huge believer in thinking positively, I have lived and learned enough to know that denying our negative feelings or stuffing them down doesn’t work in the long-term. That’s just like pushing junk to the back of a closet. Sooner or later, it will come right back up as you describe. Besides, with all that “baggage” in our space, we end up living with a sense of constant hassle as we try to maneuver around it. Eventually, all the stuff we have pushed back or to the side has to be sincerely dealt with.

When I am feeling angry, frustrated, impatient, etc. with people, I try to remember to keep things in perspective. You might try reading, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. Mr. Frankl was a POW in a Nazi concentration camp, and in this profound book, he writes about how some POW’s managed to keep their hearts, minds and souls “safe” from the Nazis, despite all that was happening to them on a physical level. They never lost faith and hope; they never lost their ability to love and have compassion for those around them; they retained their humanity, their personal spirit. He writes about the one freedom we each have that no one can take away from us: our freedom to choose how we will think and feel about life and respond to our experiences.

Similarly, I have clients who are dealing with some very intense issues, such as a child being murdered, a spouse being arrested for a humiliating crime and losing his life’s career as a result, trying to recover from the traumatic experience of war, etc. When I remember that there are many, many people who have been wronged in far worse ways than I have, it’s much easier to accept my own challenges with a positive attitude. This is not to be taken as a “should.” Telling ourselves that we “shouldn’t” be so upset about something is shoving it to the back of the closet. I’m suggesting instead that we bring it out into the light and dust it off, where we may discover it’s not as scary or ugly as it seemed when it was in the shadows. It’s amazing how when we let go of ideas about how we “should” feel and how fast we “should” heal, etc., our higher selves can step in and lead us to new peace and freedom.

Further, it is not what we experience, but how we interpret our experiences – the stories that we tell ourselves – that determine how we feel. All emotional pain takes place in our heads, not in our outer experiences. Thus, we can mentally relive an experience over and over again and feel the same degree of pain if the story we tell ourselves about it never changes. When we obsess about something someone has done to “hurt us,” we allow them to hurt us not just once, but over and over again. You know that already, and are wisely asking, “So how do I stop doing that?” The answer is to change the story you are telling yourself about that experience.

You might begin by reminding yourself that everyone is doing their best; some people’s best is just a long way from how you would personally handle that situation. Had you been born into that other person’s life, raised by that person’s parents, and experienced all that that person has experienced, however, you would probably behave the same way.

Further, it is very wise and powerful to remember Victor Frankl’s message: that no one can force us to feel a certain way. We create our own experiences in life. Metaphysics aside, you can see that this is absolutely true simply by observing how different people deal with the same sort of experience. At one end of the spectrum, people are completely crushed by trauma. They either kill themselves or they never truly recover. Some part of the heart and soul is forever missing afterwards. At the other end of the spectrum, people not only grow through traumatic experiences, they turn them into assets, and perhaps even a greater life purpose. Through the fire of deep challenge, they forge new spiritual growth and strength, and go on to help others follow in their footsteps. When we really own the truth that we can’t blame anyone else for how we feel, it becomes natural to let go of negative feelings like anger, hatred, bitterness, etc.

As we begin to change the stories we tell ourselves about hurtful experiences, the way we feel begins to change. The ultimate in healing bad feelings is to find compassion for those who hurt you. In fact, this is the only way I’ve found to permanently heal those intense emotions.

For example, when I was 16 years old, I was stalked and raped by a young man who was about 20 years old. (I don’t know for sure how hold he was.) He was the son of the woman who cut my hair; that was all I really knew about him, beyond the fact that he saw me, became obsessed with me, started stalking me, and eventually raped me. Throughout this ordeal, it became undeniably clear that this guy was CRAZY. He had such a tormented, twisted soul inside that it was very easy for me to be grateful that I was not him. When I realized that I would rather be his “victim” than to be as dark and empty inside as he obviously was, it wasn’t long before I started to feel compassion for him, and to truly forgive.

I know this idea may sound really radical and challenging, but once you have worked with all the ideas above and found compassion for your “enemy,” there is one more thing you can do that is very powerful to heal your heart and move on to new joy and peace: purposefully do something kind for the person you’re feeling negative about. It’s usually best if they don’t know you did it, and it can be as simple as praying for them. In fact, that is a very powerful thing to do.

You will feel a strange sense of freedom come over you if you embrace this goal with the intention of rising above the drama and loving yourself to new well-being. You will feel yourself lift above it, and end up feeling beyond that drama, for what you wish for others – what you send out – is what you yourself will attract.

Then you will naturally move on and focus on other things. It will be easy to forget about whatever happened in the past and to fill your life with new blessings like positive people, new projects and opportunities, new learning and growth. You’ll then be so busy with all the good stuff that you’ll have no time or room in your life to reopen those old wounds again.

I’ll leave you with one last bit of common spiritual wisdom that we all frequently forget: if not for your “enemies,” whether they take the shape of people or challenging life experiences, you’d never experience new personal growth. Our enemies are indeed our greatest teachers. When we can find appreciation for the lessons they bring us, we flow so beautifully through life that we never get stuck in negative emotion for long.

– Soul Arcanum

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She Didn’t Move On and Got Sick

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Emotional Well-being, Healing, Psychic Ability by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on She Didn’t Move On and Got Sick

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Last year I was at a crossroads in my life. While my job had been very important to me, I no longer felt connected to it and was ready to move on to something else. Instead of finding something new, however, I became sick. Ever since then I’ve had terrible headaches. I’m seeing several doctors both medical and alternative, and we can’t figure out what is causing the pain. I’ve been called a sensitive and an old spirit many times. I’m somewhat psychic as I seem to just know things, and can feel the presence of unseen beings. I’m wondering if my illness may be caused by something in the psychic realm. A medicine woman who used to work for me once said that I’ve not been using all the gifts I’ve been given. Is there a connection between my gifts and my headaches? I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired! Thanks!
– L.

Dear L.:

On a metaphysical level, the source of your discomfort is blocked energy. It began when you knew that you needed to move on from your job situation, but you put off doing so because you were afraid to give up something comfortable for something new and as yet unknown. Since you are still in that job situation, these problems aren’t getting any better.

You are by no means alone – people do this sort of thing all the time. In fact, I frequently work with this issue in my spiritual counseling practice. Some of the physical symptoms that may erupt as a result of not moving on when we know we should include chronic fatigue, migraines, sinus infections, depression, anxiety, insomnia and muscle tension – especially in the upper back.

I went through something similar years ago when I knew that I had to get out of a dead marriage, but I was so afraid of hurting anyone involved (my husband, my children, the rest of the family, and myself), that I just couldn’t bring myself to act on the truth in my heart.

The more I tried to deny what my inner being was telling me, the sicker I got. The last year before we separated, I had all sorts of health problems, including migraines and chronic sinus infections. Looking back, I’m amazed at what a mess I was and how long it took me to “get it.” I felt like I was drowning in mucus! When I finally summoned the courage to end the marriage, my health issues cleared up instantly, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I could breathe freely again. I firmly believe the ultimate source of my health problems was the need for this change because I haven’t had a single sinus infection since.

Whenever we try to force ourselves to stay in a situation that isn’t good for us, things tend to get worse and worse until we are forced to move on. This only makes sense if you think about it, because the situation is really not good for us to begin with. It’s similar to having an unhealthy habit like drinking or smoking: if we refuse to give it up, eventually its ill effects on us will manifest physically in the form of pain or health problems. To heal our discomfort, we have to change.

In fact, when it comes to staying in relationships, jobs or other situations that are unhealthy for us on some level, if we don’t listen to our inner being and act on our true needs, eventually something will happen that will force a change. We may get fired or laid off, for example, or we may get so sick that we have to quit. The longer we deny our needs or put off what we know we must do, the worse things tend to get. By contrast, the more we listen within and act on our inner knowing, the smoother our journey through life tends to be. Given all of this, the best thing you can probably do for your health is to quit that job!

This is all related to your psychic gifts as well, for it sounds like you have had a lot of signs that you are psychic and need to further work with your abilities, but you haven’t honored these signs and intuitions. As a result, you have all this energy built up behind your third eye because you’re not opening that chakra enough for it all to flow through. This creates pressure, which can lead to discomfort like headaches.

Have you ever gone to a sad movie and tried to force yourself NOT to cry because you’d be embarrassed, only to end up with a horrible headache? This happens when the energy of your emotion builds up inside you because you won’t let it out.

It also makes sense that when what we are repressing is some truth or awareness, the discomfort we experience will be felt in our heads. So if someone is highly psychic but has a habit of unknowingly pushing their psychic perceptions down into their subconscious, they may experience psychic pressure in the form of headaches. If we don’t resist this awakening, instead of pain or discomfort we may feel a lovely sense of tingling or buzzing around our foreheads.

You are indeed highly psychic, and probably don’t need to develop your gifts so much as to simply acknowledge them and allow them to flow. To do this, you’ll want to further open your third eye and your crown chakra. The third eye will open naturally if you work with psychic development exercises. Kundalini yoga is very powerful for opening the third eye, though all forms of yoga are great for getting your chi flowing freely.

To open the crown chakra, you’ll have to learn to trust in life itself: to have faith that one way or another, everything will be all right. If you already believed this deep down, you wouldn’t have hesitated to leave a job situation that you knew wasn’t right for you. Regular meditation will lead you to deep peace and serenity, which will naturally heal your fear and anxiety and help you develop a more trusting relationship with the Universe. It will also open up a clear channel to Spirit via your crown.

To initiate healing, I believe anything you can do to bring the energies you’ve been repressing up into your conscious awareness will prove helpful. The main thing is to really listen within and trust whatever comes into your awareness as meaningful. You might begin a daily practice of journaling, automatic writing, or art therapy – whatever appeals to you. Energy healing or hypnotherapy may also prove helpful.

The most important thing is to honor what your body has been trying to tell you by opening up to change, and your job situation is the obvious place to start. I think you’ll be amazed at the transformation you experience by simply honoring your true needs in that area of your life, because when we get stuck in one area, we tend to get stuck in others. For example, if we hang on to a job, relationship, habit or living situation out of fear of the unknown, before long we are hanging on to all sorts of other things that don’t really serve us well, such as extra weight, clutter, unfinished projects, unhealthy habits, resentments, etc.

By contrast, when we release some big issue we’ve been hung up on, everything else begins to move forward too. Then it’s suddenly easier to achieve other goals, try new things, and let go of anything else that doesn’t bring us true health and happiness.

– Soul Arcanum

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Healing Ancestral Wounds

Filed Under: Healing, Karma by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Healing Ancestral Wounds


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Through research, I have found that recurring patterns like addictions and limiting beliefs that get passed down through generations are due to ancestral wounds. How does one go about healing an ancestral wound in order to stop the recurring pattern once and for all?

M.

Dear M.:

Though the Bible does mention that the “sins of the fathers” may be visited upon future generations, I think most of us born and raised in the West are surprised by the idea that we may both be paying for the “sins” of our ancestors and able to heal our ancestor’s wounds. However, in many Eastern and tribal cultures, it is commonly believed that we not only have individual karma to work through but family karma as well.

We inherit far more from our ancestors than our hair and eye color and our tendency to develop diabetes or heart disease. Along with gifts like athletic and artistic ability, we may receive certain mental and emotional problems. Since there is no hard line between the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, from a metaphysical perspective, this makes sense. It’s possible to inherit all sorts of things from our ancestors, from a tendency toward violence, laziness, depression and despair to addictions, phobias, and emotional problems. If you step back and view the generations as a river of life, it’s easy to conceptualize how there is a never ending flow of energy from our ancestors down to us, which will continue on down to our descendants.

We all hold certain beliefs that we are not consciously aware of. In fact, we may think we believe one thing while our behavior tells an entirely different story. These beliefs are programmed into our subconscious minds and stored in our cellular memory. Some of these we picked up from early childhood; some were developed in past lives; some we absorbed as if by osmosis from what we sensed the people around us believed; some we inherited from our ancestors through our DNA. We have also inherited survival beliefs and instincts from our ancestors, so we may instinctively react to experiences in a way that would have been more appropriate in a different time and place. Since nearly everything we do and assume arises from the subconscious, it is very powerful to become conscious of what we really believe and work on cultivating the beliefs we truly desire to hold on this level. This is the power underlying hypnotherapy.

According to many cultures and shamanic traditions, we can not only inherit the unresolved wounds and issues of our ancestors, we can also heal them. This is because time is not actually linear. If we step outside of time to connect with those ancestors and help them to heal, we actually change our own present and future. (Since time is not linear, it is possible for those ancestors to be reincarnated and for us to connect with them anyway.) If we view moments as places, we can perhaps imagine that we have only to travel upstream to where the problem occurred to be able to work on addressing and resolving it, which will change what flows down the line to us.

Sometimes it is obvious that a family pattern is being repeated. For example, if you struggle with alcoholism and you come from a long line of alcoholics, you are clearly dealing with something you’ve inherited. Sometimes, however, we have no idea that we are playing out an unconscious program we’ve inherited. Often, it’s only when everything else has been tried that a person ends up in the hands of a healer who discovers an ancestral connection during the healing process. Of course, it is important not to assume that an ancestral pattern is the cause of a problem, for it may just as well be rooted in a past or past life experience. Spirit attachment could also be involved. Since we tend to reincarnate in the same family lines, we could even be the ancestor causing the problem!

If you suspect that you are dealing with family karma or ancestral wounds, it’s a good idea to find a healer who is experienced in such matters. A hypnotherapist will ask your own higher self/subconscious mind what’s going on and what you need in order to create what you want in your life. Some healers may use kinesiology testing or dowsing to determine the root problem. A good psychic may be able to pick up on what’s happening and what you need to do to resolve it.

As for how healers resolve such matters, it depends on who you see. A hypnotherapist will first guide you into a deep trance state. From there, she may dialog with your higher self or subconscious mind to ask what the root problem is and what needs to happen in order to resolve it. If it’s determined that you are acting out an undesirable pattern you’ve inherited from someone else, she will guide you in giving back or releasing that pattern. If it’s discovered that the belief or pattern causing you trouble is rooted in a past or past life experience, she will guide you in healing and releasing that experience and any limiting imprints and patterns you picked up as a result of it. Since every person and situation is unique, a good therapist has to know how to work intuitively with an individual in order to respond to their personal needs in the moment.

If you see a shaman and it’s determined that there are ancestral wounds that need healing, the shaman may lead you through a ritual designed to transcend space/time, connect with the ancestor, and facilitate healing. This may involve all sorts of wonderful elements such as incense, drumming, chanting, guided meditation, journeying, etc.

There are a few things you can do on your own. There are many cultures that build altars devoted to their ancestors. If you are feeling some tension or conflict with your family line, you might use regular prayer or meditation in front of a family altar as a ritual to help you begin to consciously work through your familial karmic inheritance. You can also send healing back to your ancestors much as you would send distant healing to a family member living now. I recommend meditating on whatever it is you are struggling with and sending healing to whatever comes to you, whether it’s ancestral in nature or not. Also, when we keep experiences secret, we actually give those experiences power over us. If there are any family secrets you’re holding close to your chest, you may want to unburden yourself of the power they hold over you by bringing them out into the open where you can face and deal with them.

Finally, it’s important to remember that what we inherit is a tendency, not a certainty. What we are unconscious of controls us; what we become conscious of, we can control. In my view, the most powerful way to free yourself of a negative outside influence, whether that influence comes from the people you’re descended from, the people you are living with now, or the circumstances you find yourself in, is to consciously choose to create what you want in your life. This is the power underlying personal and spiritual growth. It’s the power of working with the subconscious mind in order to cultivate positive beliefs. It’s the power of working with the law of attraction.

Biology is not destiny: you have the power and freedom to take whatever you’ve been given and mold it into whatever you desire. The key is to bring whatever is happening up into the light where you can see it clearly, for then you’ll have the power to transform it.

Soul Arcanum

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Is Resisting Love Bad for Your Health?

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Is Resisting Love Bad for Your Health?

 

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am a woman with a male friend whom I know loves me, but I have closed myself to those feelings. I don’t allow myself to think about him or enjoy the look in his eyes when we meet because I am afraid. Since we both have families, according to my religious beliefs, this love we feel is wrong. My question is, am I doing more harm than good to myself by blocking the energy of this love? On a metaphysical level, what am I doing by blocking the energy that’s coming my way and not letting my energy go out to him? I have started having some small twinges of pain and other sensations on the left side of my chest area around my heart. Have I blocked my heart chakra with this move? Thanks for your wisdom.

K.

Dear K.:

We can and do create blocks in our chakras all the time. We do this when we resist something out of fear of what is happening or might happen in the future. When we try to deny or repress our emotions, we constrict our life force energy. When we make a habit of this, over time we can develop all sorts of problems and issues. So in not being “open” to this man and the feelings between you, you have indeed energetically closed yourself down.

Just last week I wrote about how frequent headaches are associated with psychic development because many people feel overwhelmed and try to shut down their psychic perception. Our chakras are directly linked to our physical health; everything begins in spirit and funnels down into physical manifestation, so when chakras are forced closed or remain blocked over time, we can experience physical pain and even serious health problems. I’m not telling you this to try to scare you, but rather to emphasize that you are wise to listen to your body, for it is definitely trying to tell you something.

Our bodies don’t lie, deny the truth, twist things or rationalize the way our minds do, so often the truth our bodies tell doesn’t match what society thinks is proper or even what we believe is right on a conscious level. When our bodies are saying one thing and our minds are saying another, we have to make a choice: do we choose what FEELS right in our hearts or what we’ve come to believe is right based on what outside influences (other people, religious teachings, etc.) have told us in the past?

My sense is that you live in a culture where breaking with tradition may be much harder and more frightening than it is for many of us these days. While I can appreciate that, it’s also clear to me that it is this outside pressure that is making this lesson so powerful for you. If your decision were easy, it wouldn’t require you to ponder it so deeply and question what you’ve been told in order to find your own truth.

I recently made the acquaintance of a minister who works with the dying. He is a true spiritual warrior who is on the front lines every day, doing his best to serve God and do what he believes is right. He is also in a situation very similar to your own in that he is married but is in love with another. So far, he too is shutting his heart down in order to do what he thinks is right, and he is totally miserable.

As he is a devoted Christian, we had a long chat about how Jesus questioned the beliefs and mores of his culture, and listened above all to the truth speaking to him through his own heart. I think we are all wise to ponder how history’s great spiritual teachers developed the truths upon which today’s religious views are based. It wasn’t by listening to what other people told them was true or what had been established as right or wrong in the past; their celebrated truths arose from within them.

No one can tell you what is right for you. In order to make that decision yourself, you must pray to be guided to clarity and listen within for that guidance. As you do this, it may greatly help you to ask yourself and Spirit a few key questions, such as:

What is the path of fear, and what is the path of love?

When we make decisions based on fear of how others may react or what may happen in the future, we put outside influences before the truth in our own hearts; constrict the flow of our life force energy, personal potential, health and joy; and make our lives smaller. When we make decisions based on love, curiosity, passion, hope, desire and inspiration, we put the wisdom of our hearts first, which expands the flow of our life force energy, personal potential, health and joy. This naturally encourages our lives to grow bigger, more colorful and more fulfilling. Though it is always more rewarding, it is often far more difficult to choose the path of love, for it requires courage as well as faith in ourselves and the divine voice speaking to us from within.

Another great question to ask yourself is: what would I want those I love to do if they were in my shoes? For example, if your husband was in your shoes, would you want him to follow his heart or would you want him to deny his heart out of a sense of obligation to you? Sometimes, it’s most telling to ask ourselves what we would want our children to do in the same situation, for many of us love our children more than we love anyone else – including ourselves. So if your daughter was in your situation, what would you hope she would do?

Finally, it’s important to realize that you can heal your life and any metaphysical problems you’re experiencing without doing anything in particular in your relationships to other people. The first step is to acknowledge the message the pain in your heart is sending you. Instead of judging yourself harshly for feeling as you do, you must give yourself permission to feel as you do and allow that energy to flow freely. This does not mean you necessarily act on those feelings; it means you allow them to be what they are without judging, rejecting or ignoring them.

There is much you can do on the inside to feel better even if you don’t change a thing on the outside. None of this is really about your relationships with other people anyway; it’s all about your relationship to yourself and the Divine. I have a free Chakra Clearing and Charging Meditation that will help you energetically cultivate inner peace and well-being regardless of what is happening in your outer experience. that will help you energetically cultivate inner peace and well-being regardless of what is happening in your outer experience. You can find it at Soul Arcanum.

Finally, I have an idea on how you can have your cake and eat it too: go ahead and act on your desires, but do so on a metaphysical level only. Many people in similar situations end up fulfilling their desires in their dreams, and some of these even go on to learn how to astral travel in order to live a “double life” on other planes. For more on this, Google “astral love” or “astral sex,” and check out D.Soul Arcanum Conway’s book Perfect Love: Finding Intimacy on the Astral Plane.

– Soul Arcanum

 

 

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How to Create a Positive Psychic Atmosphere

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Psychic Protection by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How to Create a Positive Psychic Atmosphere


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I work in a small building where people who start off nice appear to change and act different in a nasty way. I found this site looking for a way to cleanse the building. This makes work in a small environment very difficult. What can I do?

Dolores

Dear Dolores:

We are all surrounded by unseen energies of various qualities. Though most of us aren’t conscious of it, our instincts are constantly tuning in to evaluate the energetic nature of other people and the psychic atmosphere. Many of us only take note of this when the psychic atmosphere is extreme in some way. For example, in a house that is “haunted,” the hair on the backs of our necks may stand up, or we may feel inexplicably terrified and compelled to flee. At the other end of the spectrum, we may enter a place of very positive psychic atmosphere such as a church or a temple and immediately feel peaceful and uplifted.

There is a direct link between the people who inhabit a space and the atmosphere there, for it is our thoughts and feelings that create that atmosphere. You seem to have assumed that it is the physical place that is causing people to grow negative, but it could be that one or more of the people you work with are the real source of this negativity. Just as it only takes one person creating a foul smell and stink up a space for everyone, it only takes one strongly negative individual to poison the psychic atmosphere. Of course, if the business you work for has created a stressful, antagonistic work environment, the simplest way to remedy this negativity is to take practical measures to reduce employee stress and frustration.

Here’s the good news and the bad news: emotional energy is contagious. (You’ve clearly noticed this already.) This means that negative energy can affect everyone present, but it also means that positive energy can spread too. To remedy negativity psychic energy, we have to generate positive psychic energy.

Since the atmosphere and the people who inhabit the space are intrinsically linked, I recommend you focus both on cleansing the location and infusing it with positive vibes, and on bringing out the best in your coworkers. Since there are number of individuals involved here, the more people you can persuade to join with you in these efforts, the more power you will all wield.

There are all sorts of different rituals you can employ for cleansing the location. The key elements will include cleansing the physical space and the objects in it, and also cleansing the atmosphere with something like smoke, as in smudging. As part of this process, you might try the old folk remedy of hanging up garlic all over the place overnight, and then burning the garlic the next day.

The actual ritual you employ is not as important as your focus and intention: you are in essence energetically healing the atmosphere of negativity. Following this cleansing, you should bless the space and fill it with the energies you desire. Go through the whole space cleansing it, and then go through it again and bless it. The actual ritual you employ is not as important as your focus and intention: you are in essence energetically healing the atmosphere of negativity. Following this cleansing, you should bless the space and fill it with the energies you desire. Go through the whole space cleansing it, and then go through it again and bless it. For an example of how you might go about this, see Clearing a Space of Negative Energy.

Once you’ve done these things, bring in elements that promote positive energy. Playing music that feels uplifting and positive can have a dramatic impact. Make sure the space is with bright with light – preferably natural sunlight – and that the color scheme is pleasant and uplifting. You could bring in crystals to enhance your energetic efforts. Definitely make sure the space smells good. Incense is great for this, but if that is impractical for some reason, you could try aromatherapy with a scent like lemon. Keeping the atmosphere fresh is not something you do once – it’s something you regularly.

Next, in order to evoke positive energy from your coworkers, you will have to work with the law of attraction. While it’s true that we can’t create in another person’s experience, we can lift ourselves into a vibration where we naturally attract a higher level of experience, which will either cause people who are negative to stay away from us or draw those people up to our vibration when they are around us.

This reminds me of one of my first highly sucessful manifesting adventures. I was on a road trip with a friend who was also into the law of attraction. When we went through customs to enter into Canada, my friend was on her cell phone. The customs agent took tremendous offense to this and was shockingly nasty to us. At first we were upset about this, but then we decided to pivot and focus on manifesting friendly, happy people from there on out. What followed was an incredible stream of people so friendly all we could do was laugh in astonishment. One after another, everyone we met from there on out went to extraordinary lengths to help us, and everyone was so cheerful it was like being in the “twilight zone.”

My point is that by consciously working with the law of attraction, you can either attract the sort of people you want to interact with or bring out the best in the people around you. Even really nasty characters smile, laugh and are kind sometimes. You can draw this out of them, but you have to stop focusing on what you don’t want – negativity – and start focusing on what you do want – happy, friendly, helpful coworkers.

I suggest you create some “spiritual Febreze” and use it on yourself as well as your work environment. Get a clean, empty spray bottle, distilled water, rubbing alcohol and an essential oil like lemon. Add a little alcohol to the water, and then add as much of the essential oil as it takes to create a pleasant scent. Next, charge this mixture with positive energy by calling to mind all the positive things you want to manifest. While you hold this mixture in your hands, channel the essence of that positive energy into the mixture. (If you’re unfamiliar with how to do this, you may want to study magickal spellwork in general.)

Every morning after you get out of the shower, spray yourself with this magic perfume and set your conscious intention for the day. It may go a little like this:

Universe, just as I carry this wonderful smell with me on my body, I will carry joy with me wherever I go. I will shine my inner light on any shadows I encounter, and bring out the best in others. I will greet everyone I meet with warmth and good humor, and will receive all sorts of blessings in return. As one who is connected to the stream of pure positive energy is more powerful than a thousand who are not, I look forward magically creating a wonderful atmosphere wherever I go. Fill my world with friendly, helpful, happy people! (This is just and example. You can set any intention you desire – the point is to set a CONSCIOUS intention for the day instead of taking whatever comes your way.)

If you also spray this “spiritual Febreze” around your work place every morning, you will infuse the atmosphere with its pleasant scent and positive vibration while at the same time encouraging everyone around you to unconsciously entrain to your positive vibration.

– Soul Arcanum


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Why Can’t She Cry?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Why Can’t She Cry?


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC, 2011. All rights reserved.  
All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My family and I have had a horrendous 10 years. We’ve moved countries and continents, been cheated in business, had to live with family, gotten thrown out on our ears by family, and found it very hard to get by. Business deals that were sure to go through would just not happen at the last minute; this is still happening. There is constant worry about money even though we’re all working. It’s been really horrible and exhausting. I have also been cheated of my inheritance by my own sister because we lived and worked overseas and she looked after our parents. She feels she is entitled to everything they left behind: jewelry, property, everything. She took care to put everything in her name while I was overseas. My question, Soul Arcanum, is why can’t I cry? I have been hurt so badly by my sister plus all the stuff that we’ve been through, yet I can’t seem to cry. Please help.

K.

Dear K.:

I’m sorry to hear of all your heartache. There are a number of possible reasons why you can’t cry.

The most obvious explanation is that you are depressed. When severely depressed, many people experience the same thing you describe: an inability to cry. With severe depression, emotions become so flattened that one is essentially beyond weeping. I encourage you to see your doctor about this possibility. Of course, if you have already seen a doctor and are on anti-depressants, you have your answer: anti-depressants are known to blunt emotions, so many people who take them feel too numb to laugh, cry, or feel much of anything.

Another possible explanation is that you are too overwhelmed to allow yourself the “luxury” of succumbing to tears at this time. It sounds like your struggles are ongoing, which means you are not yet in a place where you can look back on your experiences and begin to heal and release the trauma involved. This is a bit like being in the midst of battle when you are wounded; since you are still in survival mode, you may not even feel the wound until the danger is behind you. Even if you are in pain, however, you know you have to keep going in order to survive, so you ignore the wound and keep on fighting. If you feel like you simply don’t have time to “fall apart” right now, that may explain why you can’t cry.

It’s also possible that you’ve got so much emotional pain bottled up inside that you’re afraid of what may happen (or what you may do) if you started to let it out. When our emotions feel more powerful than we think we can handle, it can feel like if we even crack the door of our hearts open, a tidal wave of emotion will burst through and sweep us away. We may fear experiencing that much pain all at once, or we may fear that if we allow ourselves to feel those feelings, we will lose control and do something we may regret. In either case, the solution is often to just keep our hearts tightly locked shut and keep plugging forward.

It is also possible that your inability to cry goes way back to early childhood or even a past life. Our experience of crying is naturally rooted in our early childhood and our relationships with our caregivers. After all, crying is the only way infants have to communicate that they need something. Those of us whose parents responded to our crying in positive ways tend to find comfort in crying as adults; those of us whose parents ignored us or became angry or upset by our crying tend to have crying issues.

If, when you were a little girl, your parents somehow punished you for crying, you may have difficulty allowing yourself to cry in any situation. Parents who don’t want to be bothered with their children’s complaints tend to say things like, “Stop crying! That’s not worth crying about,” or the ever popular, “If you want something to cry about, I will give you something to cry about!” Some parents even send their children to their rooms and refuse to let them come out until they have stopped crying. Of course, there are other ways parents reject or censor their children when they are upset. Some parents are so uncomfortable seeing their children in distress that they say things like, “Please don’t cry. It breaks my heart to see you so sad,” which tends to make the child feel guilty for crying. Even when they don’t verbally discourage their children from crying, if the parents are uncomfortable, the children may sense it and decide to stifle their tears.

Yours is a perfect problem for hypnotherapy. Since there are many potential causes, hypnotherapy could help you to quickly pinpoint and heal whatever is really going on. If you came to see me for therapy, I would spend our first couple of sessions helping you get comfortable with the therapeutic process and giving you subconscious suggestions to begin to heal and release whatever is troubling you. (This gentle, gradual approach tends to work best with people who may be afraid to feel whatever emotions may come up.) Eventually, I would dialogue with your higher self and ask about the root cause of your inability to cry. If this took us back to a traumatic event in childhood or a past life, I would guide you in re-membering that event and feeling all the feelings involved. Since your presenting problem is an inability to cry, my goal would be get those tears flowing. Once you were sobbing on my couch, I would know we had achieved a breakthrough.

Some therapists believe that reliving the emotions of past events is unnecessarily unpleasant; some believe that it is essential to the healing process; I believe it depends on the client and the situation. I do believe there is great healing power in catharsis, and that it is never wise to deny, repress, block or avoid emotions. Interestingly, recent scientific research has discovered that when we cry in sorrow, our bodies release endorphins and our tears contain toxins; when our eyes are simply watering due to irritation, neither of these is true. This means that crying is in and of itself therapeutic and healing. I think we all know this based on personal experience: who hasn’t succumbed to a good cry after a period of great stress or upset, felt completely spent, and then wiped their tears and decided to get on with things?

In my experience, cathartic sessions tend to produce healing miracles. Let’s take for example the case of a woman who had an inexplicable fear of driving a car. In therapy, a past life in which she had died in a car crash was discovered. Though this awareness alone didn’t produce results, in the last session, she was regressed to relive the accident, during which there was a great outpouring of emotion. That is when a breakthrough was achieved: following that session, her fear of driving completely disappeared.

Of course, it is always helpful to simply have someone loving and understanding to talk to. If you don’t have a friend or relative you feel you can pour your heart out to, you may find traditional counseling helpful. It may take a while to develop the trust and rapport necessary, but if you open up about your troubles to a caring person, eventually those tears should begin to flow. From deep tissue massage to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), there are many different healing modalities besides talk therapy and hypnotherapy that can release stored emotions, so explore your options. If you pray to Spirit for the answer, I’m sure you will be guided to the perfect healing path for you.

– Soul Arcanum

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Telepathic Pain Connection

Filed Under: Energy/Vibration, Healing, Psychic Ability, Psychic Protection, Relationships, Strange Phenomena by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Telepathic Pain Connection


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I was with my fiance, Scott, for ten years before he died. Scott’s mother is 84 years old, and we were his caregivers for the last year of his life. We bonded on a very deep level as we shared the pain of losing him. For the past three weeks or so, I have had extreme soreness in my neck and shoulders. I am a runner and attributed this to needing a new pair of running shoes, though this pain seemed strange and different from aches and pains I’ve experienced in the past. When I called Scott’s mom tonight and asked her how she was doing, she told me that HER neck and shoulders have been aching and that she had just found out that she has a pinched nerve. I didn’t even tell her about MY neck and shoulder pain. I am now wondering if it is possible that I was picking up on her pain, and if so, what you would call this. This is not the only time we have had a strange connection like this. While I don’t believe in coincidences, I haven’t always had these experiences; there seems to be something special going on with Scott’s mom. Have you heard of anything like this before?

K.

Dear K.:

Your question reminded me of all sorts of amazing personal experiences and stories I have heard from others over the years. For example, a few months ago, I awoke early in the morning feeling strangely dizzy and queasy. As I was very groggy, I wondered if I was getting sick but then quickly drifted back to sleep. I then dreamed that my teenage daughter came into my bedroom and told me that she was feeling queasy and didn’t want to go to school. I woke up from that dream and drifted off again. About fifteen minutes later, my daughter actually came into my room and woke me up and told me that she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to go to school. I then realized that my own physical discomfort had disappeared, and that I had been picking up on what was happening with her.

This sort of telepathic connection is known to be especially strong in twins. I recently became acquainted with an amazing story of identical twins who not only regularly experience each other’s pain, but also have physical manifestations of what happens to the other twin. For example, one twin got accidentally socked in the eye while playing at a playground one day, which led to her developing a black eye. At the exact moment that the twin was injured, the other twin experienced pain in her eye and later developed a black eye even though her own eye hadn’t experienced any physical trauma.

There are all sorts of amazing stories of people who experience a telepathic connection to another person that leads to physical symptoms like those you describe. This tends to happen most often with people who are emotionally very close, such as mothers and their children. Since it sounds like you are closer to Scott’s mother than many daughters are to their own biological mothers, I don’t find it at all strange that you would share a strong psychic connection. It’s also possible that the two of you have shared other lifetimes in which you were biologically related, which would further strengthen your psychic connection this lifetime.

My sense is that you are a very physical person, and thus your strongest psychic sense may be clairsentience. This would tend to cause you to pick up telepathic information kinesthetically, by feeling it in your own body. I imagine that your intuition tends to speak to you through gut feelings, and that you tend to experience strong emotions in your body such as having butterflies in your stomach when you are nervous or getting a headache when you are stressed. Psychic mediums who are strongly clairsentient are those who tend to physically feel how a particular spirit passed, or feel other physical sensations as a form of metaphysical communication. To describe a spirit, they physically feel what it was like to BE that person. Thus they may say something like, “I feel like I am very tall but like I am bent over with roundedness in my upper back, and I feel like I have facial hair; it is tickling my lip.” By contrast, someone more clairvoyant might say, “I see a tall man who walks a bit hunched over who has a beard and mustache.” As you might imagine, being strongly clairsentient would encourage the sort of physical experience you describe.

While what you experienced was tangible in that you physically experienced her physical pain, you are also receiving other types of telepathic information without being conscious of it. Just as we all receive visual, auditory, kinesthetic and other information on a physical level, we all do the same on a metaphysical level, but when we are strongly skewed to one modality, we may not pay as much attention to the other information. I would bet that you are picking up on Scott’s mom’s thoughts and feelings without realizing that those thoughts and feelings are perhaps not your own, for this sort of exchange tends to be more subtle than physical sensations.

The closer we are to someone, the more likely we are to absorb their thoughts and feelings. Of course, the more sensitive we are, the more likely we are to be affected on this telepathic level as well. When you put two people who are very sensitive and very emotionally close together, all sorts of telepathic experiences tend to result.

If we have empathy for the person involved, it can be very difficult to separate our feelings from theirs even if we know that what we are feeling is not our own. For example, when my son was an adolescent, he went through a period during which he was angry, sullen and irritable. I would be perfectly happy but as soon as he got in the car, I would find my mood radically shifting. He didn’t even have to say a word for this to happen; it was like this dark, heavy cloud had invaded my aura. Even though I knew that he was the source of my suddenly dark thoughts and feelings, trying to avoid being affected by his bad mood was like having a passenger smoking a cigar in my car and trying to not inhale any of their smoke. It is fascinating to me that being in an enclosed space seems to be as powerful on a metaphysical level as it is on a physical level; if I were near my son in another setting besides the car, it was easier to separate my energy from his. While removing myself from his presence was most effective of all, in situations where someone we love is in great distress, we may pick up on how they feel even if they are thousands of miles away.

When we care about how other people feel, our auras are open to them. Instead of saying to ourselves, I don’t care how this person is feeling, I just want to feel good, we are constantly energetically checking on them much as we might do by phoning them to see how they are doing. It is this caring that bridges our energy fields. When we empathize with someone, we start to entrain to their energy and may be affected by their mood. To be invulnerable to the emotional or physical pain of someone we care about, we must become adept at setting our own tone and cultivate faith that everything happens for a good reason, so even if someone is struggling, we know that they are experiencing exactly what they need to experience in order to learn whatever they need to learn.

Soul Arcanum

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Can a Relationship Make You Physically Ill?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Can a Relationship Make You Physically Ill?


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I married a man I had dated for eight years. He swept me off my feet and I loved him with all my heart. After almost two years of marriage and the birth of our daughter, I was diagnosed with a blood disease that causes low blood platelets. It was an awful ordeal that involved a lot of drugs and surgery, none of which helped. This disease was active for over eight years but has been in remission for the past year. During the time I was ill, I gave birth to my son and divorced my husband, who was going to school in another town. I was supporting two households while I was sick and running the family business with no support. I was in survival mode. In the past few years, I have developed a wonderful support group. The problem is that we have two kids together, so we have to be in some kind of contact. Lately, on his visits to town, my ex has become more intimidating. Last time he came into my house and started looking through the kitchen cabinets and touching everything. While this was happening, I became physically ill and felt like I was going to throw up. After he left, I developed severe lower back pain. This subsided but now my TMJ has flared up. I know that TMJ is associated with repressed anger, which makes sense since whenever I expressed anger in the relationship, the sword was turned against me so I learned to just be quiet. I don’t know if this is some kind of karmic debt or psychic attack, but I do know that I am happier and healthier when my ex is absent from my life and my mind. Do you think that a relationship can make you physically ill? If so, what do I do to protect myself?

– Soul Arcanum

Dear J:

Since stress can make you physically ill, anyone who upsets you can affect your sense of well-being. It sounds like back when you developed this rare blood disease, you were under a great deal of stress. It’s interesting that since you made some big changes in your life and developed a strong support group, the disease has gone into remission. I believe this is not so much about your relationship with your ex as it is about how you take care of yourself.

I’m glad that you shared that you learned to repress your anger. In doing this, you were not honoring your true feelings. Stifling our true feelings leads to churning energy, which can cause all sorts of physical problems from TMJ to the dis-ease you describe. If instead of “fighting” for what you believe in, you repress your feelings, that energy will fight within you. This can cause a war in your immune system that destroys your platelets and sense of well-being instead of the “outer war” that should be taking place in the troubled relationship. (I am not advocating war or fighting but rather dealing with what is really bothering you instead of repressing your feelings.)

Any emotional disharmony or discomfort will eventually filter down to a physical level if you allow it to grow severe or go on long enough. I learned this the hard way in my own first marriage. I was deeply unhappy but since I had two small children, I was very reluctant to end the marriage. The more I tried to ignore my feelings and do what I thought I “should” do, the sicker I got. For the last year of my marriage, I could literally not breathe because I had chronic sinus infections. I’m not just talking about headaches and stuffiness; I’m talking about filling Kleenex with gobs of green gunk every hour of every day and feeling like I was drowning in mucus. Nighttime was especially miserable because I could never breathe through my nose. As soon as I left the marriage, my sinuses cleared up and I’ve not had another problem since. Was I allergic to my ex? Was my constant inner turmoil causing psychic congestion? All I know for sure is that not honoring my true feelings made me very ill indeed.

I feel your journey was similar; when you began to honor your true feelings and fulfill your true needs, you healed yourself. I encourage you to view yourself not as being in remission but rather as cured. Remember: every cell in our bodies is replaced on a regular basis, so the body you have today is NOT the same body you had years ago when you experienced problems. You have recreated yourself and have every reason to expect your health and well-being to continue because you now know how to take good care of yourself.

I also feel that the extreme discomfort you experienced when your ex was in your house was largely a result of your own fear; you had already learned to associate him with not being good for you, so when he came in and started touching all of your things, you became anxious. This was also an instinctive reaction, of course: your body knows he is not good for you, but since you were trying to be nice and polite, your instincts had to shout to be heard. Imagine that you have a loyal Golden Retriever. What would she have done in that situation? No doubt she would have started barking like crazy and refused to let your ex in. This is an uninhibited instinctive reaction; instead, you stifled your bark, put on a smile, and wound up feeling ill.

You could go one of two ways with this: you could nicely refuse to allow your ex anywhere near you or your things, or you could stop giving him so much power over you. (Personally, I would opt for the latter!)

In the situation you describe, your ex had more power than you; his chi was stronger because fear/negative emotions made you weak and vulnerable. Whenever we succumb to negative emotions, we become vulnerable to negative experiences. No one can create in your experience unless you let them; people can only negatively affect you when you are not consciously creating what you want and your own vibration is not soaring. If you are aligned with peace, love, joy and well-being, people can knock themselves out trying to upset you or control you but they will have no emotional power over you whatsoever.

There are many things you can do to reclaim your power. First, cultivate a high, fearless vibration. Assume that all is and will be well. Send positive thoughts and feelings out. Develop greater chi through practices like meditation, martial arts, yoga and prayer. Consciously channel your energy toward what you desire through various rituals like surrounding yourself with protection and cleansing your environment.

For example, you could erect a force field around your space to keep your ex from wanting to come in or touch your stuff. Have fun with this; play at it. Wouldn’t it be amusing if, after you erected this psychic force field, he stopped at the threshold and kept his hands in his pockets? If you lighten up and exercise your own power, you’ll feel better whether you work obvious magic or not.

Finally, try to send your ex love. Whether he chooses to bless you back or not, you will brighten your own world. Begin by silently saying the divine in me greets the divine in thee whenever you see him or think about him. Remember that you are both more than your personalities this lifetime, and that your souls are part of a very old story. By reaching for this higher, more loving attitude, it won’t matter what he does; you will set yourself free from any icky old karmic patterns and align with the peace and well-being you desire.


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Bodywork and Emotional Healing

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Psychic Protection by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Bodywork and Emotional Healing


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have had a number of massages in my life, but yesterday I had a very unusual experience. I was getting a deep tissue massage from a new therapist when suddenly I was overcome with feelings of profound grief and sorrow. I also experienced tremendous physical pain where she was touching my back beneath my left shoulder blade. Much to my embarrassment, I started to writhe in pain and sob. It was so intense I had to stop her and end the session. I could not wait to get out of that office. I felt very bad about this for many reasons. I’m now wondering if maybe I picked up on the feelings of the therapist or if she somehow touched off a “nerve” in me. I have never had anything like this happen before. What do you think?

R.

Dear R.:

What you describe is very common; in fact, I’ve experienced something like it myself. I too was seeing a new massage therapist when this occurred. He employed an electric blanket to prevent me from getting chilled, and everything was going fine until he covered my upper torso with the blanket so he could work on my legs. Suddenly I was overcome with feelings of panic. I felt like I was suffocating and being crushed; like the blanket weighed hundreds of pounds. Instead of succumbing to panic, I decided to try to relax into those feelings and see what may be behind them.

Immediately I began to remember a past life in India, and I knew that I was at the moment of my death. I was at a sacred temple where thousands of people had traveled on pilgrimage on a holy day. The crowd was pushing forward, trying to get to where they could touch a sacred statue and leave an offering. We were on top of each other when the crowd pushed forward in a fervor and I felt myself being crushed. I felt as panic-stricken as if I were actually there and being crushed to death. This was so physically and emotionally intense that I too nearly had to end the session.

It is very common to have strong emotions come up during body work. Most seasoned massage therapists have seen this so many times that nothing surprises them anymore, while other body workers purposefully seek to help clients achieve emotional healing and release. Of course, not all massage therapists are created equal; those who are especially spiritual may spark this sort of healing, while those who are more physically oriented may focus wholly on the muscles beneath their hands. Further, strong reactions tend to be sparked when an area of the body that is holding pain or tension is touched.

As for why psychic insights, past life memories, and repressed emotions tend to surface during body, for work most people, receiving a massage is the deepest trance state they ever experience. As soon as they slip into this altered state of consciousness, whatever has been just beneath the surface of their awareness tends to come up. Big vibrational shifts toward an unsual state of peace and relaxation also tend to produce energetic tension. It’s a bit like being in a hot air balloon: we may be hovering a few feet above the ground when suddenly someone stokes up the fire. If we have sand bags on board to keep us grounded, this creates tension: we are being pulled skyward but we have all of this baggage weighing us down. In order to soar, we may have to drop some of that weight. This is a natural process; our subconscious minds seize the opportunity to bring up whatever is heaviest or most needs to be released when an opportunity to go higher arises.

There are all sorts of theories about how we hold old energy in our bodies and auras. As I don’t have room to go into detail here, you may want to explore the work of pioneers in this field like Wilhelm Reich, Fritz Perls and Stanislav Grof. The main thing to understand is that we tend to hold wounds from childhood and even past lives in our bodies. For example, someone who was raped in a past life may experience pain on intercourse; someone whose head was bashed in may experience migraines; someone who was suffocated may experience asthma or panic attacks during which they feel they can’t breathe. It’s interesting that you experienced the reaction you did when your therapist touched a certain spot underneath your left shoulder blade, which of course is directly in line with your heart. The important thing to keep in mind is that these are not problems to be feared and rejected; they are helpful symptoms that tell us that healing is needed.

As for how and why we store trauma in the body, basically we have a natural tendency to try to distance ourselves from painful experiences. If we have repressed trauma on an emotional or mental level, then when we shed our physical bodies, we will carry that trauma with us in our subtle bodies. When we then incarnate in a new body, the subtle bodies <q>inform</q> the new physical body, which naturally integrates that energy and information. Mind/body medicine has clearly established that our thoughts and feelings affect our physical well-being. It is also true that the body can affect our feelings and thoughts; for example, to calm yourself emotionally, you have only to breathe in a slow, calm way. A change on any level affects the whole being, so for lasting change to occur, healing must take place on all levels. If we view our mental, emotional and physical bodies as a team in a six-legged race, it’s easy to see how a problem in one body will affect the whole.

We might compare these different levels of energy to water. If energy becomes frozen in the energy field (locked in the body), it is something we can run into or trip over and it is very hard to manipulate. If we raise its vibration to water (the level of emotion), we can still slip on it but it is easier to work with. If we raise it again to the level of steam by bringing the buried thoughts behind it into our conscious awareness, then it will naturally begin to evaporate and dissipate. It sounds like in your case, some old trauma was brought up to the level of emotion, and that energy began to be released. The awakening of that intense energy caused the same reaction of panic and avoidance that caused it to get stuck in the first place. Until you face it and work with it, it will remain with you. If instead, you allow that energy to lead you to new awareness, it will begin to evaporate and be released. This is the power of catharsis; anything that evokes a strong reaction is a signal that there is tension that needs healing.

One reason hypnotherapy is so effective is because it works at the causative level of the mind; it quickly brings frozen issues up into our conscious awareness so that they can be processed, healed and released. Since it is important to address all levels of one’s being, however, several different modalities may prove helpful. It is important to honor what works best for you. For example, someone who is highly kinesthetic may respond best to body work, whereas someone highly visual may respond best to hypnotherapy. There are many different modalities for spiritual and emotional healing; the important thing is to honor your own nature and trust that emotional catharsis will prove helpful and healing in the long run.

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Healing Guilt After Friend’s Suicide

Filed Under: Afterlife, Death and Dying, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Relationships, Spirit Communication, Spirits by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Healing Guilt After Friend’s Suicide

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

A very dear friend just killed himself on 3/11/11. He had come to see me a week before and we talked about how he was feeling. I tried to help by giving him ideas on how to handle his problem, and at the end of our conversation, I thought all was well with him as we were laughing at the situation he had been so concerned about. I was devastated when I heard what he had done. I can see that when he left his body, he was in a dark, cloudy, dense fog with no light. I am feeling so sad for the waste, and keep wondering if there was something more I could have done to stop him. Perhaps instead of joking about the problem, I should have been more serious. He has always said that 10 years ago, I was responsible for saving his life when he was in another very dark place – that I had pulled him back from the brink. If that’s true, why couldn’t I save him this time? What is happening to him on the other side? Will I ever hear from him again? He was not spiritual; he believed that when we die, that’s it. Anything you can say to help me deal with all of this would be so appreciated.

Marla
Dear Marla:

Though it’s normal for you to be feeling as you are feeling, I can assure you that your guilt is wholly unfounded. Your friend didn’t kill himself because of you: He killed himself because he was in more pain than he could bear. You are no more responsible for his death than if he had died of cancer or been hit by a bus.

Your question reminded me of a startling exchange I had with one of the wisest men I have ever known – my father. I was 12 years old at the time, and was mired in adolescenet angst and depressed about all I deemed to be wrong with the world. As I tried to communicate how horrible I was feeling to my father, I confessed that I had thought about killing myself. To my great surprise, he didn’t try to change my mind or save me from myself. He simply said, “It would break my heart if you ended your life, but if you are determined to do it, there is nothing I or anyone else can do to stop you.” Since my father loved me wholeheartedly, this response totally shocked me. However, it also instantly struck me as wise and true. Over the years, I have many times fallen back on this lesson when dealing with loved ones who were depressed: though we can love and support people, it is impossible to save them from themselves, for what they choose to do with their lives is ultimately up to them.

There is a wonderful book that powerfully illustrates our ultimate freedom to succumb to despair or rise above it. I’m referring to Man’s Search for Meaning in which Viktor Frankl describes his experiences in a Nazi concentration camp and how he refused to allow his persecutors to break his spirit. He wrote, Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. Your friend exercised this ultimate freedom when he chose to end his life. If someone is in despair, we can love them with all our hearts, but can’t give them the will to live.

As for what your friend is now experiencing, it’s important to keep in mind that death is a personal experience, so not all suicides are equal. What we experience when we leave this world is entirely a matter of who and how we are on the inside, for when we die, we shed our physical bodies and begin to inhabit our astral bodies. If our astral bodies are light, peaceful and happy, we end up in a happy, peaceful place. If they are heavy and dark with despair, we end up in a dark, heavy feeling place. This is why suicide is associated with negative afterlife consequences: since our astral bodies are our emotional bodies, if we are in tremendous emotional pain when we die, we end up in an emotionally dark and painful place.

That being said, I don’t believe it is any worse to be in a state of despair in the astral than it is to be in the same state here in the physical. People tend to freak out when they think about someone who has committed suicide ending up in a hellish realm, but in truth, they were already in hell when they were living. Their mistake was in thinking that by killing themselves, they could put an end to their emotional pain.

Killing oneself is an effective way to end physical pain. If a person commits suicide in order to spare himself and his family more suffering because he is terminally ill, and he does so from a feeling of love, then he may end up in a fine place in the astral; it is all dependent on his inner energy. Since the astral body lives on, suicide does not end emotional suffering. There is no quick escape from emotional despair; instead, we must grow through it and find a way to transform and heal it. This can and will eventually happen whether we are here in the physical or in the astral.

Since your friend was in emotional despair when he took his life, your perception that he is in a dark place is probably accurate. This does not mean he will remain there for all eternity any more than he would remain in emotional torment forever were he still alive here on Earth. Eventually, he will realize that running away is not the answer, which will lead him to seek a new and more effective way to feel better.

You can help him by praying for him and visualizing him in a state of well-being. You could also learn to astral travel and try to find him so you can help him directly. For more information on this, research soul rescue as practiced by shamans. I also recommend you explore the work of  Bruce Moen; he’s an expert using astral travel to find and help lost souls.

Sinking into grief and sorrow yourself won’t help your friend; it will just make him feel worse about himself for bringing you down. Blaming yourself serves no one; instead, I urge you to try to transform this experience into something positive. When you start to feel bad for any reason, remember to celebrate your blessings and live each day fully. Cultivate love in your life and strive to spread joy wherever you go. Know that your new strength, wisdom and happiness are blessings that came from your friend’s decision.

I lost my first love when he was just 18 years old. While this was certainly tragic, there are many good things that came of his death. For one thing, it launched me on a conscious spiritual journey; I would not be who I am or doing the work I am doing had this not happened. If you work with it, this can be a profound spiritual growth experience for you. You are now exploring the nature of life and death and suffering; you are searching your soul and opening up to new spiritual experiences. If you honor your desire to find a way to help your friend, you may develop all sorts of new skills and knowledge that you can use to do a lot of good in the future. By creating something positive from his tragic end, you will truly honor your friend and bless yourself with the healing you need to feel at peace again.

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