Category: Emotional Well-being


Can You Use Energy Healing for Addictions?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Can energy healing help someone heal from an alcohol addiction? My boyfriend is in a 12-step program, but he keeps slipping – in fact, he seems to be getting worse.
– Michele

Dear Michele:

Addictions are a form of OCD – obsessive compulsive disorder. They are born of a desire to comfort ourselves when we feel emotionally overwhelmed. Some people drink, gamble, do drugs, overeat, etc. when they feel stressed out. Others can’t relax enough to have a “good time” unless they’re engaged in their addiction. All such behavior is learned via experience. Addicts simply try to feel better in the moment by relying on a method that worked in the past. After a habit has been established, of course, it takes on a life of its own. It can then be painful both physically and psychologically to break it.

Energy healing/intuitive counseling can not only help, but may prove one of the only ways to truly heal an addiction. This is because these methods will go to the root of what is causing the addiction instead of focusing on the behavior itself. If we try to change our habits without changing our beliefs, we’re in for a very difficult, uphill battle, with nothing but our willpower behind us. If we change our beliefs, then it is natural for our behavior to change accordingly, especially if we’re consciously evaluating our habits.

For example, if someone believes that they can’t handle social situations unless they’ve loosened up with drugs or alcohol, they will continue to be drawn toward substance abuse again and again until they change that belief. If they come to believe that it is truly NEVER worth it to drink in order to assuage anxiety because this produces more problems than it solves, then it will be far easier for them to change their habits to align with this personal truth.

Deep down, addicts believe they can’t deal with life without their addiction; once they start to believe they can both manage and be happy in life without whatever they’re addicted to, they can change. Positive change doesn’t usually happen without some effort, of course – we have to consciously choose what we want in our lives, and put our hearts and souls into manifesting that.

While conventional therapy may recognize that an unhealthy subconscious pattern is at work, it’s up to the addict to figure out why and what to do about it. If the addict was able to figure any of that out, they wouldn’t need help in the first place. Instead of just asking the right questions, as a therapist may do, an intuitive healer can deliver the right answers.

A good psychic can access memories and issues that have been pushed below conscious awareness. These may be from one’s past in this life, or from past lives. A medium can also discern if there is an astral entity attached to the individual that is driving the addictive behavior. Even if such an entity didn’t initiate the addiction, by simply engaging in addictive behavior, we become magnets for such entities, which try to “live through us” in order to feed their own addictive desires. These entities will try to thwart any attempts we make to heal from addiction, which of course makes it harder to quit.

A medium/energy healer can not only discern what is happening at this astral level, but can clear away such entities, and thus greatly facilitate positive change. Further, a healer can reconnect us with our best selves, and by raising our vibration, empower us to create whatever we want in our lives.

It’s also essential to view whatever we want to create in our lives with the law of attraction in mind. Whatever we focus upon expands, so if we focus on “healing from addiction,” we actually send a lot of energy to the idea that we are addicted and need healing. This may be why your boyfriend seems to be getting worse. Going to regular meetings and saying, “Hi, my name is Bob, and I’m an alcoholic” is not a good idea. Further, listening to everyone at these meetings endlessly talk about drinking and alcoholism sends a LOT of energy to the manifestation of more “alcoholism” in one’s experience.

It is often more effective to ignore an addiction and focus on creating what is wanted instead. That may mean we focus on becoming “health nuts” who only eat this and that, drink this and that, and work out so many days a week, etc. Instead of trying to NOT do something, we then have something positive to do. This has the added benefit of making us stronger and saner. One reason substance abuse is so challenging to overcome is because we’re not really in our “right minds” when we’re using. This makes it hard to think straight and make wise decisions.

Following are some of the metaphysical roots of various addictions. When these are driving compulsive behavior, it’s unlikely that traditional methods will prove successful for the long haul. Please note that attached entities can be behind any of these forms of addiction, and self-deception (the desire to avoid the truth about one’s self) is an element in ALL addictions.

Alcoholism: This common problem often stems from past lives that involved a lot of drinking. For example, in centuries past, when the water supply was unsafe, people often lived on beer and wine. They drank it “like water,” so it became normal to them. This can create a preference for such beverages. “Dying of thirst” in a past life can also cause “drinking problems.”

Compulsive Overeating: This may stem from a past life in which we starved to death, or were often very hungry. If you think about world history, this had to happen a lot. It also stems from dieting to be too thin in order to meet social ideals, and from the poor nutritional quality of much of the food we eat these days. (Our bodies will drive us to keep eating until we get the nutrients we need.)

Drug Addictions: This is often rooted in a deep feeling of not being at home here on Earth. When we feel out of sync with life, when the world just seems “wrong” because we vaguely remember other spiritual planes and long to “go home,” we may try to escape from reality via psychoactive drugs.

Gambling: Addictions to gambling are often caused by disempowerment. People who gamble compulsively don’t own their personal power to create what they want in their lives. Instead, they see their “good fortune” as coming randomly from outside of themselves. They are bored with life because they aren’t taking risks to pursue their true dreams, so they crave the excitement of gambling.

Sex: Sex addiction is often caused by a lack of creative outlets. When we have all this creative energy and we don’t know what to do with it, we may seek release through sex. It can also be caused by a lack of self-love, which we try to assuage through the affection of another. Since what we really need is self-love, however, no amount of affection from someone else will satisfy us. We might view this ultimately as a sign of spiritual longing – instead of consciously pursuing ecstatic experiences through spiritual practices, we chase after the fleeting substitute of orgasm.

All addictions are coping mechanisms; addicts are just trying to avoid experiences they fear will be “too painful.” While only they can truly create positive change in their lives, psychics and healers can help people who sincerely want to heal from addiction to gain deeper insights into their behavior, reclaim their personal power, release issues and entities driving compulsive habits, and reach for a new sense of self that is stronger, happier and healthier.

– Soul Arcanum


Making Peace with Past Mistreatment

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I was once married to a man I trusted, who turned out to be a con man. When he became not only verbally/ emotionally abusive, but also physically abusive, I left him. He was able to steal a vast sum of money from me, and reaped great financial rewards during the marriage and after the divorce. Though he was arrested, he has gotten away with paying less child support than he should. He even rigged my car to break down! I traded it in, and he bought it back! He has married very well (she is exactly like me), taken many vacations, lives in an extravagant home, etc. Whatever happened to “what goes around, comes around?” On the positive side, God blessed me with two angelic daughters. I have a nice home, but it’s very modest compared to what I lived in before. Best of all, I am free and far happier now. He is certainly an angry, negative, miserable person to be around most of the time. (This is my opinion, as well as that of his awesome wife, who confided in me.) He has also had a host of health problems. I grapple constantly with trying to let this all go, as it is affecting the wonderful relationship I’m in now. Please tell me how I can feel better about this situation.
– L.M.C.

Dear L.M.C.:

Let’s see: you’re happy, in a wonderful new relationship, and enjoying the sweet daughters born of this marriage. Meanwhile, your ex is miserable, angry, suffering, and disliked by his own wife. You feel good about yourself, for you maintained your integrity throughout this relationship. Meanwhile, he has walked through tremendous stress, and despite the big house and grand vacations, he’s far from happy. It certainly sounds to me like “what goes around, comes around” is working just fine, my dear! :)

There is one thing about manifesting that is often confusing when we observe others’ experiences: you don’t have to be “nice” to manifest what you want in life – you just have to feel that you deserve it, focus on it, and expect it to come to you. Thus we can all see people who are not the “nicest” folks around manifesting wealth, status, beauty, etc. If you really think about it, equating worldly things with happiness is usually a sign that someone is not all that evolved anyway. Someone wiser would more likely focus on manifesting love, true friendship, spiritual growth, deep well-being and joy – not sports cars and mansions.

If we look deeper, however, we discover that everyone does manifest the QUALITY of life experience that they give to others. What we send out comes back to us; what we focus upon expands, whether we desire it for ourselves or for someone else. Thus people who focus on doing the right thing and on bringing others joy and happiness will have a generally happy life, while those who desire revenge or to take advantage of others will tend to feel persecuted and cheated by life no matter how much wealth they are able to manifest.

I do understand your struggle. It can be maddening to treat others with kindness and integrity, only to have them take advantage of our trust. This is especially difficult with ex-spouses. Many years of observation have taught me that divorce has extraordinary power to bring out the worst in people.

I can assure you, however, that even with divorce, spiritual law always creates balance eventually. Time and time again, I’ve seen people who aim high manifesting higher experiences, and people who aim low manifesting lower experiences. The “bad guys” may seem to win the battle of the moment, but then find themselves in a horrible war long-term, while we move on to new peace and happiness.

Let’s look at someone else’s divorce situation as an example. I have had the enlightening opportunity to closely watch a couple go through a divorce scenario that is all too common these days. After the initial uproar and upset, the individuals involved settled into two very different camps. While the husband was determined to be fair and get along for the sake of the kids, the wife was bitter and demanding. When he stood up for himself and refused to let her order him around, she began an ugly campaign against him. She told the kids that he was the cause of all her problems, and she basically tried to turn them against him. In order to win them over, she removed all rules and limits on her teen’s behavior.

At first, the victim seemed to be primarily the husband, who was maligned and disempowered as a parent, and had to stand by and watch his kids struggle through all sorts of trouble: drugs, promiscuity, crime, school failure, nasty attitudes, etc. As they could always choose to live with mom, there wasn’t anything he could do about it. The secondary victims, of course, were the kids themselves, whose mother’s ego issues prevented her from providing the guidance and boundaries they needed to enjoy health, success, happiness and well-being.

In the end, however, it was clear that the one to suffer the most was the mother herself. She is the one who ended up living in a house full of juvenile delinquents who may have “liked” her permissiveness, but certainly showed her no respect. The stole from her, lied to her, threatened her with physical violence, etc. While she may have won her popularity contest, she got far more than she bargained for.

While this woman and her children were enmeshed in one harrowing drama after another, the husband did the only thing he could do: he simply focused on living by his own higher standards, and soon, many great new blessings began to flow into his life. While at first he looked like the victim of his ex-wife’s crazy campaign, in time we can see how he was actually spared the stress of living with his teens when they were downright obnoxious. As they learn and grow, his children are starting to see the truth of the whole experience, and how in being “strict,” he was trying to love and protect them.

I relay this story because often, it’s easier to objectively observe someone else’s life. Hopefully, it illustrates how eventually, integrity DOES pay. This carries over into all sorts of relationships, of course. If a good employee is treated unfairly and is fired or quits, the management loses a good worker, and the employee ends up with a better job. If we look at any situation with enough distance/ perspective, eventually we see that what goes around DOES come around.

Further, those who conquer their negative feelings in order to take the “high road” are rewarded with blessings far more valuable than houses and vacations: they retain their self-respect, the respect of others, and a clear conscience. When they are able to forgive those who have “abused” them, they also enjoy a sense of inner peace and the freedom to enjoy new happiness.

Ask yourself which you think would be easier: for you to forgive your ex, or if you WERE him, for you to forgive yourself for all that he has done. You would not trade places with him for a huge home or great vacation. When you can find compassion for all he suffers due to his spiritual ignorance and his inability to conquer his monstrous ego, your heart will be cleansed of bitterness, and you will be at peace with all that has happened.

No matter how much his outer world may sparkle, on the inside, it’s so much darker than your own. Try to find compassion for him and pray for him to find the light, so you can complete this learning experience and truly enjoy your many blessings.

– Soul Arcanum

Kicking the Fear and Worry Habit

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am having a hard time with negativity and fear. I can’t seem to feel anything else. How do I learn to vibrate at a higher level so that all the good things I know are out there will start to come to me, instead of all the things that I worry about? Where do you start?
– Michelle

Dear Michelle:

This is a great question, and one that I get in one form or another frequently. When we first wake up to the truth that our thoughts create our experiences and we begin to pay attention to our mental habits, it can be very unsettling, for suddenly, we realize just how much of our thoughts are negative.

This is actually a very good sign, however. It means that you’re moving out of harmony with this negative vibration. You’re no more negative than you ever were before; you’ve just become uncomfortable with that negativity. So right away, here is a plus for you to focus on: even though it may not feel like it, you’re making great progress already!

I remember my own awakening as a conscious creator. My head was constantly buzzing. Every other thought seemed negative or “dangerous” somehow, and I was constantly trying to “take back” or rework some negative thought. This is normal at this stage. The more you pay attention to your thoughts, the more you’ll develop the habit of thinking positively.

First, I recommend meditation. We all have a lot of old energies and issues that we’ve stuffed down, and these will keep running through the back of our minds until we heal or resolve them. They are sort of like mental clutter. We get busy doing this or that, and we don’t have time to really deal with “old stuff,” so we push much of it to the back and put new stuff in front of it, and there it sits, mucking up our vibration and experiences.

In the beginning, meditating is simply allowing mental clutter to rise up so we can let go of it. Many beginning meditators feel frustrated and inadequate because they can’t “quiet their minds.” Well, all that mental clutter has to be cleared first. There is usually a lifetime of it accumulated, so we can’t expect it all to just dissipate overnight. Just sit and allow whatever wants to come up to come up, and then just gently let it go. If it doesn’t want to go, just sit with it and ask it what it is trying to tell you that you need to do (and then do it). Over time, this approach will clear all the stuff you’ve been avoiding dealing with, and then you will have a nice clear inner space, and your meditation will deepen. By dealing with it this way, the negative thoughts won’t take you by surprise so much, and instead of pushing them back down, you’ll be able to release or transform them.

While you begin this meditation practice, I recommend you also surround yourself with positive influences. The simplest way to do this is at a physical level. While it may be hard to control our thoughts, it’s pretty easy to get rid of the junk cluttering up our lives. Clear out all the stuff in your environment that carries a negative vibration for you, especially anything that ties you to a past you’d like to leave behind. For example, if your closet is full of clothes you wore when you were three sizes larger, get rid of them! If your jewelry box still holds the engagement ring your first husband gave you, sell it or give it away while affirming that as you do so, you are making room in your life for new love and a new beginning.

While you’re at it, clean up your diet and exercise regimen. Our physical health has a huge impact on how we think and feel. Try to eat whole, natural, unprocessed foods, and try to make at least 50% of them raw. I’m talking about fresh fruits and vegetables here. Drink water, get rid of sugar and white flour, or just pay conscious attention to your body and feed it the things that will truly boost your energy and well-being. The more you take concrete action to create positive change, the more empowered and positive you will feel.

Obviously, if you are surrounded by negative people, it’s going to be harder for you to become a positive thinker. Start weeding the people who are downers out of your life, and begin to seek new, positive influences. If you pray for these positive people to come into your life, they will! Also, strive to be this kind of person to others. If what you’re thinking is negative, don’t say anything until you have found something positive to say.

While doing all the above, I recommend you read about five pages of a positive book every day. By reading a bit every morning and every night, focusing on positive ideas will become a habit. If you are meditating morning and night as well, you will be clearing negative “junk” and replacing it with these books’ positive ideas.

Some positive, empowering books you might begin with: The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity and other works by Catherine Ponder, Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain, The Game of Life and How to Play It and other books by Florence Scovel Shin, anything by Dr. Joseph Murphy, As a Man Thinketh by James Allen, etc. These books will keep you mindful of the fact that you are constantly creating for better or worse via your thoughts. Additionally, try reading uplifting books in general. The Chicken Soup for the Soul series is a good example. Other favorites include The Little Prince, all books by Sark, Susan Jeffers, Alan Cohen, Norman Vincent Peale. Keep reading Soul Arcanum as well! There is an endless abundance of positive teaching available.

Be choosy about everything you mentally ingest. Skip the news – nothing will bring you down faster. Make sure the music you listen to is upbeat, like New Age music, big band, etc. Watching TV on a regular basis will keep you STUCK. Some movies, however, can boost your vibration. A few to try: My Shirley Valentine, ET, The Wizard of Oz, Patch Adams, Field of Dreams, Forrest Gump, Pay It Forward, Powder, Phenomenon, the Harry Potter movies, Big Fish, School of Rock, Ghost, Enchanted April, The Whale Rider, Shrek 1 and 2, Big, The Terminal, Chocolat, Simon Birch, Under the Tuscan Sun, Secondhand Lions, etc.

These lists are just off the top of my head. Some people will say, “What? I thought ET was horribly sad. I have never gotten over Elliot crying his eyes out as ET went ‘home.'” This illustrates an important point: our interpretation of life will determine our experience of it. If you look for beauty, magic and wonder, you will find it. Everything can be seen in a negative light, but everything can also be seen in a positive light. You determine your experience when you choose which you will look for.

It does take tremendous mental effort to remain positive, even for people who have developed that habit of thought. Every time you find yourself focused on the negative, challenge yourself to find the positive. Spirit will help you with this; just close your eyes and mentally ask to be shown the situation in a spiritual light.

When this works, give thanks! Gratitude is the heart of positive thinking. Give thanks that you have been given the knowledge to create what you want in your life by changing what you think. Give thanks that I chose your question for publication. Give thanks that you’re already making progress. Give thanks that your eyes work, and you’ve been blessed with an education so you can read all of this. You’ll find endless things to be grateful for if you just look for them.

Finally, make a habit of uplifting others, for what you give is what you’ll get!

– Soul Arcanum


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I consider myself to be a pretty positive person who tries to see the good in people as well as in situations. Right now I am working on learning how to manifest what I want by studying how I function as a person and how I can remove the blocks that are limiting my experience. I am living with a man who is very set on seeing the negative aspects of everything that happens instead of the positive ones. He says things like, “Why would anything ever work out when it never has before? Why would I ever get what I want when I never have before?” Now recently we were offered the opportunity to start a business, which would be connected to an already existing business, and I am wondering to what extent my partner’s negative views will interfere with my attempts to create success. I truly believe that this can become a very lucrative, positive endeavor for us. Will his negative energy make it harder for me to manifest what I want? Is it possible for a person to try to manifest something for herself and her partner when the partner doesn’t have faith that it will work out in a good way? Can I make it work with him?
Thank you!
Soul Arcanum

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Soul Arcanum, I get a surprising number of similar questions. It’s rare for two people to be spiritually on the same page at the same time; one person is usually a bit more “evolved” or “together” than the other. Sometimes those roles shift and change, but sometimes, the difference is marked from the start, or a pattern will become apparent over time, where one person pulls ahead as the “giver” and the other person is more the “taker.” What’s really interesting to me is how often “givers” will be the ones putting in most of the energy to maintain the relationship.

Often what givers are getting is a sense of being “loved,” though in truth, the other person is just dependent on them for help, support or energy. Others are in it for the self-esteem boost they get from being such a selfless “saint,” or from feeling like they’re so much more together than the taker. (Observing folks with really messy lives tends to make us grateful for our relatively minor problems). There IS a place for selfless, one-sided giving, but it’s not in key relationships where we expect our energy/investment to be returned in kind. One-sided relationships are fine for ministers/ therapists/ doctors/ healers/ teachers, etc. to have with those they help, but we should seek equals we respect, trust and admire as friends, business partners and lovers. It’s unwise in any relationship to pour our hearts and souls into “negative” people who never make sincere efforts to improve their lives.

Often even relationships that were once wonderful or “perfect” become unhealthy for all involved. I frequently see this in long-term marriages when one partner wakes up and decides to learn and grow. As this partner moves into a new level of understanding and wisdom, she may at first try to share her new spiritual discoveries with her partner, but this is usually an exercise in disappointment and frustration. If she lets go and simply decides to follow her own heart and her own path, her energy will separate even more from her mate’s. Throughout this process the tension is growing. What used to be a good fit is now heavy or restrictive to the progressive partner.

As you mentioned that you’re “learning how to manifest,” I think this is what is happening. Your conscious awareness of the power of positive (and negative) thinking is new, and while you may have known your partner had a bad attitude before, you had no strong desire to be positive yourself. Now you’re singing at a higher note, and the “chord” created by your combined energies is discordant and jarring to your very soul. You try to be unconditionally loving, patient, compassionate, etc., but every time you try to soar and he strikes that negative note, your whole being just cringes. This is your inner guidance telling you that what you’re experiencing is not what your higher self really wants.

When the discordant relationship in question is sexually intimate, it’s especially important to make sure that you’re with someone whose energy is as positive/high as yours, for intimacy is a deep blending of energies. While you may uplift him and make him feel better, he will tend to bring you down, and as you now know, feeling “down” is going to limit your power to manifest your goals and dreams.

In all close relationships (whether we’re lovers, partners or best friends with someone), if the other person’s energy is not harmonious with our own, we will gradually start to change. We will not “be ourselves” anymore, and sometimes, we won’t even realize it until we spend a consistent period of time away from the situation. I used to spend a lot of time with a friend whose life was always in turmoil. Eventually her behavior got more and more disturbing and I pulled away. I recently spent some time with her again, and only then did it strike me how much better I’ve felt NOT being around her. I had returned to my true vibration. When we’re not sure about continuing a troubled relationship, often taking a six-week break like this will realign us with our own true vibration and lead us to clarity.

While it’s great to have an open heart, if we want happiness and fulfillment in relationships, we have to be discerning. People who take responsibility for creating their own realities approach life very differently from those who see themselves as victims of circumstance. In owning their personal power to create for better or worse in their own lives, they enjoy much more success and happiness.

I therefore encourage you to go into business with someone who pumps you up. Find someone whose strengths and weaknesses are complementary to your own. When two positive, conscious creators get together with a common intention, magic happens through the power of synergy. Instead of 1 + 1 = 2, 1 + 1 = unlimited potential.

Also, you’re in the midst of a big personal transition. Not only will your man’s heavy, negative energy weigh you down and potentially limit your success, but your discomfort with his negativity reveals that you’re moving apart in vibration. Should you choose separate paths in the near future, it will be much more complicated if you’re in business together.

Ultimately, deciding whether or not to go into business with your man depends on how you would end up FEELING about all of this. If you’re capable of staying passionately upbeat and positive despite his negative mood, then your energy could prevail, for one who is connected to the stream of pure, positive energy is more powerful than a thousand who are not. That’s a big “if” however, especially to maintain day in and day out. If he “brings you down,” or you get impatient, critical or fed up with him, then both of you will be down, and you know where that will get you.

Choosing a negative person as a partner is choosing a very uphill path. You’re better off on your own, or manifesting a partner who shares your positive beliefs and will match your uplifting, creative energy with some power and wisdom of his or her own.

May you know the thrilling, magical power of synergy, and enjoy a wonderful journey to big success!

– Soul Arcanum

Spiritual Keys to Health and Happiness

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

With the new year getting underway, many people are sorting out all that is meaningless from what really matters. I know this is probably a tall order, but if you had to sum up what you have learned from working with Spirit, what would it be? What do you believe is the key to health and happiness in life?
– Randy

Dear Randy:

This is indeed a tall order, but I’ll do my best.

At a fundamental level, feeling good is ultimately simply a matter of balance between desire and faith. Desire is what summons life force. If we were free from all desire, we wouldn’t be here. At the very least, we have a desire to survive. The more desire we have, the stronger our life force grows. A strong life force generates a sense of passion and vitality.

Now, some people have a lot of desire, but it’s not supported by enough faith: faith in their own ability to fulfill their desires, faith in the Universe as a benevolent place where desires can be fulfilled, faith in Spirit and humankind to be supportive. Their desire is big, but their beliefs are very limited. The limited beliefs choke off the life force, thus creating pressure, which is experienced as stress and frustration.

When desire and faith are in good balance, we experience various degrees of health and happiness. If you have very few desires and mediocre dreams, you don’t need so much life force to support them. So long as your desires and your ability to channel your own creative life force to support them are in balance, you’ll be relatively content and able to function. (Ho-hum). You may not feel vibrantly alive, but most people shuffle along through life at this “okay” level. They get up, they go to work, they come home, they order a pizza and turn on the TV, and then they get up and do it all over again the next day. They may sometimes wish for more, but not enough to actually get up and make it happen.

If you long for more than that, if you have big dreams burning in your heart, then you have to develop the big, positive beliefs and expectations to support those desires in order to enjoy health and happiness. (This is why big dreamers are always talking and writing about the power of positive thinking, the law of attraction, etc.) If you think about this, it only makes sense. If someone carries a very strong, burning desire to be president, but he doesn’t really believe he can succeed, he will live in disappointment and frustration. Those who HAVE become president had to want it tremendously and truly believe that they could make it happen.

When we’re ever pushing past where we’ve gone before, but not so far that we lose our balance, we feel alive, challenged and excited. In terms of our health, this may mean athletic conditioning and development. In terms of our work, this might mean seeking promotion or building a business. In terms of relationships, this might mean striving for greater communication and intimacy.

If we have big desires but we hold back from going as far as we might go out of fear of failure, then we start to feel dull, bored, unfulfilled and lifeless. At this point health issues such as depression, cancer and addictions arise. (It may seem ironic, but folks who get depressed generally have BIG desires, but they don’t allow themselves to pursue them, usually because they don’t feel entitled to for various reasons). Conversely, if we push too far before we’ve integrated the personal power and beliefs to support success at that level, we have to work too hard to make things happen, and we end up burned out, broken down, stressed out, resentful and in pain. At this end of the spectrum, health issues such as anxiety attacks, accidents/injuries and heart problems can develop.

Health and happiness is thus a matter of constantly aligning the energy we’re summoning with our desire to the energy we’re able to flow based on our level of personal spiritual development. One great way to step up our inner vibration (and thus increase our potential to manifest big desires) is by helping others to manifest what THEY want. If you’re looking for that summary of what I’ve learned from working with Spirit, here it is: to find fulfillment in life, help others to get what they want and need.

Most of us have learned that whatever we send out comes back to us, at least in simple ways. For example, we may know that criticizing others doesn’t make us really feel better than them – it just leaves us feeling angry and unlovable. When we look for and point out the good in others, however, we end up dwelling in positive energy and feeling better about ourselves. This ripples out to make us more attractive to others, who return our positive energy. This same dynamic happens in every area of our lives, in ways big and small, visible and invisible.

So if we help others to succeed or get what they want in life, we will be helped and supported in kind. When we offer kindness and compassion to someone who is down, even if someone isn’t directly kind and compassionate to US, we end up feeling better about ourselves and our own lives, and there is no way to put a value on the personal fulfillment, pride, love, joy and high spirits that liking and respecting ourselves will produce.

Here’s another analogy: Imagine that life is a great big basketball game. If we try to hog the ball because we think we can somehow get more than we give (and a whole lot of miserable people approach life this way), the Universe will quickly learn that we should receive the ball LESS, and we’ll end up feeling angry, lonely or frustrated. People who live this way feel underpaid, underloved and underappreciated. The more they try to “get,” the less they end up with.

If our beliefs are limited or fearful, if we lack the faith and courage to take a risk, then we may never raise our hands and tell the Universe to pass us the ball. We may want very much to win, but our beliefs don’t support us taking the risks required to really make exciting things happen. People who live like this stay in the same dull or unhappy jobs and relationships indefinitely. They may be “nice people,” but they’re often bored, sad, lifeless, depressed or hopeless.

If we set ourselves up for a good shot, if we believe we can do it and we shoot when it feels right – exhilaration! If we pass to our teammates when they’re open (look for opportunities to help others get what they want), the ball will get passed back to us, and we’ll all just keep scoring and winning. Even when we aren’t the ones doing the scoring, so to speak, in being of service to others, we’re still “on the winning team.” In helping others, we just can’t lose!

So to try to sum it up, the key to creating health and happiness in life is to help others achieve the same. We must also keep desire alive by exploring new dreams and experiences, and balance that desire by open-mindedly updating our beliefs about what we’re capable of and how the Universe works with us as we go. When we do these things, we stay in the exciting game of life, endlessly playing our way to new achievements, experiences, blessings, challenges and joys. This dynamic movement forward is what produces health and happiness.

To boost yourself into new success and well-being, I highly recommend you develop the habit of looking for ways to help others get what they want in life.

– Soul Arcanum


copyright Soul Arcanum LLLC, 1998, 2007

 

This meditation is helpful whenever you need to get recentered in clarity and well-being.

Lie or sit in a relaxed and comfortable position, as you would for any meditation. Your spine should be straight and your head in alignment with your body. This meditation is in script mode, should you want to tape it and listen to it while performing the meditation. A free audio recording of this meditation can be found here.

It is preferable to learn about energy and the methods of balancing, cleansing and charging the chakras, and allow one’s own inner voice to lead the meditation. The following is just one way of performing energy balancing. Allow your meditations to evolve and to reflect your individual values and beliefs. If taped, a slow, deliberate pace should be used with a soothing voice and the appropriate pauses. The body should already be relaxed and the mind tranquil when beginning this meditation. Eyes are closed.

“Now that you are relaxed and feeling very much at peace, take a moment to ground yourself here in this moment, in this body, in this place, in this time. Take some deep breaths…In….and out….In….and out….Follow the breath as it flows toward your nostrils, as it enters your nose, as it fills your lungs and then as it is expelled. That’s right…just relax into this quiet, peaceful moment. Breathe in, following your breath…and let it go. In…and out. With every breath that you let go, you find yourself going deeper and deeper into a profound state of relaxation.

Feel the sweet heaviness of your body as it sinks into perfect relaxation. Become aware of your body from head to toe, of your weight, of the heaviness of your limbs.

Now focus on the area at the base of the spine, the area between your legs. This is the root chakra. Its energy is red, and it governs your physical body, your physical health and vitality. In your mind, study the appearance of this chakra. Note its color and vitality. Mentally envision the chakra and note any symbolic symptoms of dis-ease. Have you been caring well for your body? If your chakra is dusty, dirty, torn, or otherwise less than a perfectly brilliant red whirling vortex, imagine your hands or those of a guide working on the chakra. If it is dirty, clean away the dirt and throw it into an imaginary pail with a lid. Allow those hands to repair any imperfections, and when the chakra is beautifully clean, mentally take the pail and hurl it into the sun. Watch it as it travels through space and then bursts into a billion bits of energy upon solar contact. Know that the sun will recycle this energy back into the universe.

Now turn your attention back to the root chakra. It is a clean and red. You are surrounded by brilliant, beautiful red root energy. Imagine the room glowing red with this energy, and feel its strength and power. See red swirls of energy flowing to your root chakra. You may even feel this as a tingling as the energy fills your root chakra. As the energy swirls in, your chakra grows large and deep red and strong. Allow the energy to fill your chakra until it is so immense that it extends several feet from your body. In your mind you can see your root chakra: it’s a brilliant red swirling vortex of physical power and energy. You feel healthy, fit, strong, grounded and powerful!

Now shift your focus up to your abdomen, to the area of the womb (or where the womb would be if you’re male). This is the orange chakra, which controls clear thinking and creativity. Take a moment to observe this chakra. Note its color and vitality. Is it clean and strong or is there work to be done here? Allow those invisible hands to cleanse the chakra, to repair or heal it. Discard any imperfections in the pail, and send the pail to the sun to recycle that energy. Now focus on the orange chakra again. It is now clean and whole and a bright, energizing orange. Call out to the universe for orange creative energy, and feel the space around you begin to glow orange. With a tingle, you feel the energy begin to swirl into your chakra, charging it with vitality, with creativity, with clarity. Watch as your orange chakra grows and whirls until it extends out from your body for several feet, just as the red root chakra is still whirling and strong. You feel passionate, creative, clear and confident in your ability to come up with answers and solutions to any problem.

Now shift from the red chakra, up through the orange chakra to the solar plexus. This is the heart of the yellow chakra, which governs will power and ambition. It’s the channel through which we interact with other people and the world. Take a few moments to examine this chakra, and note its color and appearance. Have you been lazy lately, or perhaps too driven? Have you been too passive or controlling? Examine your will through this chakra. Allow the invisible hands to cleanse the chakra and heal it, discarding any imperfections or impurities in the pail. Send the pail to the sun for recycling.

Now return your attention to the yellow chakra, the center of your will power. It is now clean and a bright yellow. With your heart, ask the Universe to send you yellow energy: “Universe, strengthen my will so I can achieve my goals and manifest my desires!” Feel the yellow energy surrounding your body, and with a tingle, feel the energy swirl into your solar plexus. In your mind you can see your red/root chakra glowing, whirling, your orange/womb chakra pulsing brilliantly, and your yellow/solar plexus chakra glowing strongly, extending several feet from your body. You now feel relaxed, confident, flexible, empowered, productive, competent and successful.

Now turn your attention to the middle of your chest, to the heart chakra, the green chakra. You may feel an instant wave of emotion as you focus your attention here, for this chakra governs your feelings, your emotional connections to others and to the universe, to life itself. Examine this chakra. Note its color, vitality and any impurities. Gently allow those invisible hands to cleanse and purify your heart chakra. Reflect a moment on how you’ve been feeling emotionally lately. Are there bindings holding onto old pain? Is the chakra tight and hard with anger? Is your heart open with love and acceptance of yourself and others? Release any tensions, imperfections or impurities to the pail. Send them to the sun for recycling. You can always reclaim them later if you should want to, but for now, you can release any pain or anger, and set your heart free.

Now focus back on the heart chakra. It is clean and a beautiful green color. It whirls strongly and evenly. “Universe, send me green energy for my heart! Open my heart to the world, to all beings great and small with compassion for our shared life journey. Fill my heart with love energy, so that I may give love to others and receive it in return.” Feel the green energy whirling into your heart. Watch the chakra grow and glow and spin with this new energy. From the red chakra through the orange chakra through the yellow chakra through the green chakra, your chakras are cleansed and charged and immense with energy. You now feel loving, tolerant, understanding and compassionate. Your heart is open to life, love and happiness.

Now focus on the throat chakra, the blue chakra which governs communication and personal expression. Examine the chakra, noting the color and any imperfections. Perhaps you haven’t been honoring your own truths and speaking up when you should, or perhaps you’ve been talking over others, or not listening well. Perhaps you’ve been feeling shy and afraid to extend your energy in communication. Allow the hands to heal and cleanse the chakra, and when finished, send the impurities to the sun for recycling. Now the chakra is clean and strong and bright blue. Feel the air fill with blue universal energy. Feel the throat open as this energy swirls into the throat chakra. This energy charges your aura with magnetism, drawing others to you. Feel your throat open with this swirling, strong blue energy. You feel confident in your ideas and your ability to express them well. You are ready to both express yourself and truly listen to others.

Now focus on the middle of your forehead, on the third eye. This chakra is indigo and governs intellect, psychic vision and intuition. Examine the chakra for imperfections. Perhaps it is locked up due to fear. Perhaps it no longer spins out of neglect/stagnation. Or maybe it’s chaotic due to racing thoughts. Allow the hands to cleanse the chakra, to heal any imperfections and recycle them in the sun.

Now look at the chakra. It is a beautiful deep indigo, clean and whirling. There is psychic energy available to you beyond measure. Feel it charge the air, swirl in and around and fill your third eye chakra with deep, soulful indigo energy. Feel the third eye open, and note any mental visions as this occurs. Now is a good time to pray for greater psychic power. You feel clear-headed, insightful, intuitive and keenly aware of all levels of reality.

Note the red/root chakra, the orange/womb chakra, bright, strong, big! Move your attention up to the yellow/solar plexus chakra, to the green/heart chakra, open and brilliant, to the blue/throat chakra and the indigo/third eye chakra. Your chakras are huge, whirling, and fully charged.

Now focus your attention at the crown of your head. This chakra is violet near the body, fading to white further away. This chakra governs your connection to the Universe/God/Spirit/Source. This chakra is like an umbilical cord to “home.” Reflect on your spirituality of late as you examine the chakra and allow any healing needed.

In my experience this chakra generally needs much less work than the others. Allow the hands to heal, to cleanse, and recycle the discarded energy in the sun. Now examine the chakra. It is brilliantly violet, glowing white around the outside. Mentally reach out to the Divine, and feel the response, the energy flowing back to you. Pray for the peace and joy of a strong crown chakra connection. Feel the violet energy flowing in, a loving embrace of your whole self, of your soul. See the crown chakra grow enormous, and the white energy surrounding your body. You feel calm and centered in your higher self, with a deep faith that all is well.

All your chakras are now clean, charged and in balance. From the red/root chakra, to the orange/womb chakra, to the yellow/solar plexus chakra, to the green/heart chakra, to the blue/throat chakra, to the deep purple/third eye to the violet/crown, your chakras are spinning and whirling, full of energy and vitality. See the white energy that extends up and out from the crown chakra enveloping your whole body in a egg of white energy.

You are completely refreshed, calm, and peaceful. Your energy is balanced. You are full of vitality. As you arise from this meditation, you will feel wonderful in every way: energized, confident, open, clear-headed, peaceful and ready for some wonderful new adventures!


Knowing When It’s Time to Move On from a Relationship

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

How do we know when we’ve learned all we can from someone, and it is time to move on? I’m a Gemini who has long been married to a passive-aggressive Leo who is emotionally abusive in a subtle way. I’ve tried to leave several times in the past, but when I do, the Universe seems to create situations that make leaving unfavorable. I’m in love with the “inner being” of this man, which I can clearly see, but which he won’t allow out. He certainly has been a great catalyst for my personal growth, but there must be a time when there are no more lessons to be learned from a particular person, and staying with them is not in our best interests. I would greatly appreciate any clarification on the difference between running away and leaving because it’s just time. Thanks for a wonderful column. There is always something to be learned here!

Linda

Dear Linda:

Thank you for a wonderful question. This is really a biggie. It’s an issue I encounter all the time in my spiritual counseling work from people who are feeling bored with their careers, constricted by their relationships, or uninspired with life as they know it. Everyone who is in conscious pursuit of personal growth must tackle this eventually. The fundamental question is if we’re avoiding personal growth when we avoid discomfort, or if we’re simply listening to our inner guidance when we want to get away from situations that don’t feel good and right to us.

We might simplify the issue by comparing it to eating right. I have a very picky little eater at my house. Not only does she shun vegetables, but she’s averse to even trying new foods. This pickiness may be related to some primal instinct designed to keep us from poisoning ourselves, but it’s obviously more than that in her case, and she needs to eventually get over it. After all, vegetables (like learning) are good for you. If you, however, took a bite of some thing or experience and it tasted bad to you, that could be discomfort with something new, or it could be a warning from your body that what you’re eating is truly bad for you. Should you force yourself to eat it? Should you spit it out? Would you judge yourself harshly if you didn’t choke it down?

We’re told that we should always follow our bliss, and despite all the questions this raises, it ultimately DOES WORK. If we follow our bliss and just eat ice cream and candy all day, (or stay in jobs or relationships we’ve outgrown) we’re not going to thrive. In fact, before long, we’re going to feel really bored and yucky. Following our bliss will then lead us to do something different. Relationships are tricky because we often fail to realize that just as people have different levels of tolerance for pain, they also have different levels of tolerance for pleasure. One person’s “bliss” may be relatively low on our own scale of well-being – and that’s fine for them. Maybe we need to eat tons of vegetables and embrace new challenges to maintain our own high vibration, and guess what…that’s also fine! It seems you’ve allowed your husband to be “subtly emotionally abusive” for a long time now. Can you allow yourself to want something different?

It seems that what was once your bliss is longer your bliss. You may have been sincere in making huge, unfathomable promises when you married this man (to happily stay with him forever and ever and ever), but now your inner being has risen in vibration, and this is no longer bliss for you. To follow your bliss now may mean making new choices and arrangements. Inner conflict is most marked in people who are into self-development despite their high level of personal awareness. Not only do they expect themselves to grin and bear everything uncomfortable as some kind of “lesson” and to do the “right thing,” but they blame themselves if they’re not happy about it. An inner battle then rages between following their bliss and fulfilling their promises. What a dilemma!

The answer to your quandary lies in knowing that you have not really been learning anything FROM your man. You have learned plenty from this relationship experience, but he hasn’t really taught you anything. Your learning is your OWN, and it will continue whether the relationship thrives or fizzles.

The question is therefore really whether or not you want him along as a companion on your own quest for growth and fulfillment. Does the relationship support you in becoming all you desire to be? Does it comfort you and sustain you when you are down? Does it inspire you and fill your life with passion? Does it feel like an exciting adventure or like a wet, itchy, shrunken wool sweater?

Since you’re motivated by personal growth, have you considered that you may be avoiding it by staying IN the relationship? Perhaps your lesson here is to let go of what you think you “should” do, and bravely honor your heart.

This is not easy, I know. The hardest decision I’ve ever had to make was whether or not to end my first marriage. I was totally miserable. My husband was miserable too, but not to the degree I was. (He was a workaholic, so he was too busy to deal with emotions). I silenced all the initial messages from my inner being that this relationship had become “bad” for me. What about my children? I answered back. What about the promises I’d made? How selfish could I allow myself to be? It was only when I became ill with severe chronic sinus infections that I realized that I was not buckling down to spiritual lessons by staying: I was ignoring my own inner guidance out of fear of what would happen if I honored the truth in my heart. When I left, I experienced profound relief. I could breathe again. It was only in actually doing what I both desired and feared to do that I finally knew what was really “right” for me.

Spirit’s advice in such situations is often to simply lighten up and take a break. Experiment. Take some time for yourself. (Take a bite of what it’s like to be free of this situation, and see if you like how it tastes.) Because this is such an individual matter, you need to give yourself permission to take some time and space to figure it out.

If your husband balks and ends the relationship because he’s upset that you would be so bold and “selfish” as to take some time alone (as mine did), then I think the Universe has made things patently clear for you (and kindly taken the decision off your shoulders.) If he supports you in trying to “find” yourself, then he is at least a true friend. No matter what happens, getting some distance from the relationship will lead you to new clarity about what really works for you and what you really want.

Take some time for yourself, Linda. Do whatever your resources allow you to do: rent a place of your own for three months or stay with a friend. If you get some distance from this relationship, your energy will separate from his, and you’ll be able to sort out what is what. You may even discover that you’ve been projecting some of your own inner conflicts onto the relationship, that it has no more power over the quality of your inner experience than you give to it, that your learning is not dependent on him or anything else outside of you.

By the way, no one can subtly emotionally abuse you unless you let them. Perhaps when you take some time and space away from him, he’ll be motivated to examine his own issues, too. Just remember: you are not responsible for his learning.

I’m confident that if you take some time away from the relationship, you’ll find new clarity. May your inner being direct you to the right path for you with unmistakable feelings of true well-being.

– Soul Arcanum

Is She “Under His Spell” for Real?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC.  All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My name is Linda. I can’t tell you the last time I was truly happy. I have been struggling with a dead-end relationship that has been going on for four years. His name is Mark, and he’s a Scorpio. He’s complicated but magnetic. I can’t seem to let go, when all the signs are there, telling me I’m on the wrong path. He’s done me so much wrong, yet I still love him and he tells me he loves me and I believe him. I feel like I’m in a twilight zone, like he put a spell on me. Just when I’ve had it and have made up my mind to break free from him, somehow I’m right back. I feel like he makes me weak. I know all I have to do to find peace is move on, but whenever I try, I just miss him terribly. It’s sickening, Soul Arcanum. I wish I wasn’t so depressed all the time. It’s not heathy. Is it possible that I’m somehow “under his spell” for real? If you reply, I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

Linda

Dear Linda:

I really feel for you. Part of me wants to lovingly shake you and tell you to snap out of it, but I have been where you are, and it’s just not that simple.

I consider myself to be a very strong woman. Some have even called me intimidating. I am the master of my universe, the orchestrator of my fate. That didn’t save me, however, from “falling prey” to the kind of addictive relationship you’re describing here many years ago.

I have seen the same sort of thing happen to others time and time again, and often to the nicest people you’d ever want to meet. Being nice – too nice – is part of the equation. These addictive relationships often offer the most euphoric, compelling sexual chemistry we’ve ever experienced. It’s like our heads know better, but there’s something primal within us that just can’t resist. Our childhoods play a role too. Whether alcohol or some other addiction is clearly involved or not, we’re all wise to ponder if perhaps we’re reenacting patterns from long ago.

Let’s first consider that you may simply be a victim of your own addiction to the intensity of this relationship. You imagine that he is “holding you” or has “put a spell on you,” but in truth, he’s just unconsciously going about getting his own energy needs met, and is unaware or doesn’t care how it all affects you. In this scenario, you’re a victim of your own addiction. You love the way you feel with him when things are good (and in this sort of relationship, the “highs” usually match amp for amp the lows, or no one would stick around all that long). No one has ever made you feel so alive, so even though it’s devastating when things are bad, you go through withdrawals when you’re not with him.

The number one thing you need to do if this is the case, you’re already doing. You’re recognizing that you’re “under a spell” of some kind, but what I want you to recognize is that the spell may not be something he is doing to you, but rather is something coming from within you. You are not a helpless victim. Think of it more like you’ve been drugged, and so your entire thought process is totally out of whack. You need to get off the drugs for a while (out of this relationship and away from him) before you’ll be able to think clearly and feel like yourself again.

Now, this does not negate the reality that others can and do influence us all the time. If you get hooked up with someone with intense, magnetic energy, you will feel just as you describe: like you can’t help yourself. Someone who is really energetically powerful can turn you upside down and leave you in an emotional puddle on the floor.

I had a girlfriend once who was a beautiful, intelligent, talented and sweet young woman. She was also a witch, meaning that she practiced Wicca, and she was rockin’ powerful. She had seen right through all the cultural issues that have subjugated women for millennia, had reclaimed her strength as a woman and thoroughly embraced feminism. She fell in love with a young man who was also spiritual, beautiful, into tantra, etc., and together, they fell into the sort of relationship you’re describing. On top of it all, this young man was Muslim, and he was a very experienced martial artist and in a heavy duty relationship with a spiritual teacher/guru of some kind. (I was never sure if the guru was his spiritual teacher or his martial arts master; it seemed he was both).

We all knew that this relationship was bad for her. It almost seemed like a bizarre spiritual test of her inner strength and her feminist convictions. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she broke away from him, but she still wasn’t free. This is when she gathered her coven around her and pleaded for help. She said that he was astrally stalking her. When questioned, she explained that he would appear outside her window just staring at her menacingly, or just seem to materialize in the strangest places. She said she’d sense him, and suddenly he was just standing some distance away from her, wherever she may be, looking at her. At first, she thought he was physically there, but then she realized that he was astrally traveling to “stalk” her. Given who he was and all the stuff he was into, it seemed like if anyone could pull stuff like that off, it would be him. She was unable to eat or sleep; she probably weighed about 85 pounds at this point. The time had come for action. I don’t have room to go into the ritual that was employed to set her free, but it did work.

Please understand that up until this point, no one could have really helped her because part of her was fleeing from him, but another part of her was holding on at the same time. Only when everything in her was ready to be free was it possible for her to break away.

Since you believe in the power of spells, it’s time for you to try one of your own. Whether he’s consciously holding you or not, it can’t hurt! I recommend you get a couple of friends to help you. Choose women you admire for their inner fortitude; they’ll have the strength you need to draw upon. (Readers, please note that it’s not just women who suffer as Linda is suffering, and men can of course take the same sort of approach to breaking free of addictive relationships).

I don’t have the space here to offer you a detailed spell, but I will give you the basics of what you need to do, and then you can do your own research on casting spells in general and incorporate these elements into your own ritual. I don’t believe the power of spell work comes from the color of the candles you choose or even the sage you burn: it comes from your focused intention, so the details are really unimportant. It’s all about your energy!

Gather your friends and together affirm your very clear intention to the universe that you now choose to be free of this destructive relationship. Pray for help from God, Spirit, Angels, Artemis – whoever you feel inspired to draw upon. Together, you must declare that from this time forward, you will be free. Then you must declare that as you wish, so it is. Then visualize yourself cutting ALL chords to this man. You may be tempted to “save” a couple, to keep a small link to him. Recognize that this will be your undoing, and cut them. You can incorporate candles, chants, etc. You can write down all that you don’t want from this relationship any more and burn it, then write down what you do want and save it – whatever works for you. Make your spell/ ritual appealing, vivid and absorbing. Try it on a new moon to affirm your new freedom and your new start.

Once you’re “out” of this, you’ll look back and just be amazed at how you once felt you couldn’t break free. Your own higher self and your guides have led you to conscious awareness that this is becoming a very unhealthy situation, so from here on out, you can’t truly be held against your will unless you allow yourself to be.

If you find yourself struggling with all of this, I encourage you to make good use of the tools you’ll find HERE. Once you’re ready, the process entitled Manifest Big Love will set you on a path to a relationship that is so big, deep and fulfilling that you will never look back wistfully on this relationship again.

May Spirit light your way to new freedom, love and joy!

– Soul Arcanum