Category: Emotional Well-being


Sleep Paralysis, Migraines and Psychic Awakening

Filed Under: Astral Projection, Chakras/Auras, Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Psychic Ability by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Sleep Paralysis, Migraines and Psychic Awakening


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

The following has been happening for a few years now. I will begin to wake from sleep and realize that my body is paralyzed. I am awake in that I am consciously aware, but I can’t move any part of my body. I can sometimes scan the room I am in, and when I do resume control of my body, it is just as I saw it with my eyes closed. I also experience a tingling sensation throughout my body, like when your arm falls asleep but far more painful, like someone is squeezing me tightly. I hear white noise like a static sound. It used to occur on a regular basis; now it is every so often. Recently, I began having these strange migraines; many times they do not feel like my own because I am still completely functional. I am very sensitive to what others are feeling; I think that’s why others find it so easy to talk to me. Sometimes I feel bipolar; I hate being around people because many times I end up being in a bad mood. I have some family members who are strongly psychic. What do you think is happening?
Krystal

Dear Krystal:

I presume that you are aware that there is a term for what you’ve been experiencing: sleep paralysis. This is a state of consciousness in between being awake and asleep in which your body is immobilized but your mind is awake. (Usually when our bodies are asleep our minds are also unconscious, so we’re not aware of being unable to move.)

While we tend to think of ourselves as either being “awake” or “asleep,” there is actually continuum between being deeply asleep and wide awake that we are constantly moving along. Scientists now even believe that it’s possible for parts of our brains to be asleep while other parts are awake. When in a certain gray area between being awake and asleep, people tend to report all sorts of paranormal experiences.

What’s interesting about your particular question is your symptom of migraines and the psychic/empathic experiences you’ve been having, for all of these experiences are related. There is a strong correlation between the manifestation of sleep paralysis and stress/anxiety. High levels of stress and anxiety are also know to trigger migraines. Both sleep paralysis and migraines are also tied to sleep deprivation and irregular sleep cycles. It is therefore common to experience both sleep paralysis and migraines during periods of high stress, and to also have unusual psychic experiences during those times.

This was certainly true for me: I have only gone through one period in my life during which I frequently experienced sleep paralysis, and that was when my first child was a newborn and I was extremely stressed out and sleep deprived. Interestingly, it was also during that time that my psychic doors blew open and I started having all sorts of mind blowing experiences.

The dream state is a highly psychic state. If we are sleep deprived, it may be that we begin to dream while we are awake, or, more accurately, enter a dual state of consciousness wherein we are both dreaming and awake. This is the extraordinary state of consciousness known as sleep paralysis. While scientists may label the unusual things we perceive in such a state “hallucinations,” research has shown biochemical similarity between the dream state, the state of consciousness that shamans enter into to do their healing and psychic work, and the state of consciousness so-called psychotics are in when they are said to be “hallucinating.”

What is missing from most scientific research is awareness that what is perceived during a “hallucination” is not unfounded: it may not exist in the physical dimension, but it is real on a metaphysical level. The states of consciousness linked above lead to “hallucinations” because they enable us to perceive beyond the physical dimension. When we are in such a state of consciousness, we are “walking between the worlds” as shamans do. To put it in scientific terms, the sleep chemistry associated with dreaming/REM sleep is intruding on the state of wakefulness.

Scientists may dismiss these experiences as chemically driven. While there may be a bio-chemical component to them, that doesn’t mean that the psychic perceptions are invalid; instead, it means that these physical changes promote psychic perception. When we are caught in a state of sleep paralysis, our consciousness is rooted in one of our subtle bodies. This is why people report being unable to physically move while at the same time being able to see with their eyes closed, perceiving various entities that aren’t physically present, and hearing voices or white noise. Since they are perceiving at least in part with the astral body’s senses, they are picking up on astral phenomena.

Unfortunately, in the modern Western world, we have no tradition of knowledge or training for what to do when such states spontaneously occur. In tribal cultures, these experiences would be taken as signs of special gifts or abilities, which would lead to one being trained in how to work with them in constructive ways. Through apprenticeship with a shaman, one would learn how to control their mental and emotional states and how to keep one foot grounded in this reality while exploring other worlds.

As for your experience of migraines, there is a definite relationship between psychic development and headaches, especially migraines. I have a theory as to why this is common: if you are uncomfortable with what you’re picking up psychically, you will instinctively try to shut your psychic senses down. This leads to a block in the chakras of the head (the third eye and/or crown chakra). This is similar to why we may get a headache when we try not to cry at a sad movie: when we shut down the flow of energy by trying to hold back our feelings, psychic pressure builds. This would also explain the vague nature of your migraines. If this tension is occurring in your astral body as opposed to your physical body, it may feel strangely ethereal.

Closing our chakras is an instinctive protective measure against psychic overwhelm. Instead of blocking our chakras, we need to learn how to create a one-way flow of energy so that we can release that pressure. As you are clearly highly sensitive and a natural empath, I strongly feel you would benefit from some training in energy healing. Such training will help you learn how NOT to pick up on others’ moods/energy, how to work with dual states of consciousness, how to align your vibration in order to manifest the sorts of psychic experiences you desire, and a whole host of other valuable skills. Instead of being a passive victim of whatever psychic energies come your way, you will learn to consciously influence the course of your experience and apply your natural psychic abilities toward positive aims.

– Soul Arcanum

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How to Create a Positive Psychic Atmosphere

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Psychic Protection by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How to Create a Positive Psychic Atmosphere


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I work in a small building where people who start off nice appear to change and act different in a nasty way. I found this site looking for a way to cleanse the building. This makes work in a small environment very difficult. What can I do?

Dolores

Dear Dolores:

We are all surrounded by unseen energies of various qualities. Though most of us aren’t conscious of it, our instincts are constantly tuning in to evaluate the energetic nature of other people and the psychic atmosphere. Many of us only take note of this when the psychic atmosphere is extreme in some way. For example, in a house that is “haunted,” the hair on the backs of our necks may stand up, or we may feel inexplicably terrified and compelled to flee. At the other end of the spectrum, we may enter a place of very positive psychic atmosphere such as a church or a temple and immediately feel peaceful and uplifted.

There is a direct link between the people who inhabit a space and the atmosphere there, for it is our thoughts and feelings that create that atmosphere. You seem to have assumed that it is the physical place that is causing people to grow negative, but it could be that one or more of the people you work with are the real source of this negativity. Just as it only takes one person creating a foul smell and stink up a space for everyone, it only takes one strongly negative individual to poison the psychic atmosphere. Of course, if the business you work for has created a stressful, antagonistic work environment, the simplest way to remedy this negativity is to take practical measures to reduce employee stress and frustration.

Here’s the good news and the bad news: emotional energy is contagious. (You’ve clearly noticed this already.) This means that negative energy can affect everyone present, but it also means that positive energy can spread too. To remedy negativity psychic energy, we have to generate positive psychic energy.

Since the atmosphere and the people who inhabit the space are intrinsically linked, I recommend you focus both on cleansing the location and infusing it with positive vibes, and on bringing out the best in your coworkers. Since there are number of individuals involved here, the more people you can persuade to join with you in these efforts, the more power you will all wield.

There are all sorts of different rituals you can employ for cleansing the location. The key elements will include cleansing the physical space and the objects in it, and also cleansing the atmosphere with something like smoke, as in smudging. As part of this process, you might try the old folk remedy of hanging up garlic all over the place overnight, and then burning the garlic the next day.

The actual ritual you employ is not as important as your focus and intention: you are in essence energetically healing the atmosphere of negativity. Following this cleansing, you should bless the space and fill it with the energies you desire. Go through the whole space cleansing it, and then go through it again and bless it. The actual ritual you employ is not as important as your focus and intention: you are in essence energetically healing the atmosphere of negativity. Following this cleansing, you should bless the space and fill it with the energies you desire. Go through the whole space cleansing it, and then go through it again and bless it. For an example of how you might go about this, see Clearing a Space of Negative Energy.

Once you’ve done these things, bring in elements that promote positive energy. Playing music that feels uplifting and positive can have a dramatic impact. Make sure the space is with bright with light – preferably natural sunlight – and that the color scheme is pleasant and uplifting. You could bring in crystals to enhance your energetic efforts. Definitely make sure the space smells good. Incense is great for this, but if that is impractical for some reason, you could try aromatherapy with a scent like lemon. Keeping the atmosphere fresh is not something you do once – it’s something you regularly.

Next, in order to evoke positive energy from your coworkers, you will have to work with the law of attraction. While it’s true that we can’t create in another person’s experience, we can lift ourselves into a vibration where we naturally attract a higher level of experience, which will either cause people who are negative to stay away from us or draw those people up to our vibration when they are around us.

This reminds me of one of my first highly sucessful manifesting adventures. I was on a road trip with a friend who was also into the law of attraction. When we went through customs to enter into Canada, my friend was on her cell phone. The customs agent took tremendous offense to this and was shockingly nasty to us. At first we were upset about this, but then we decided to pivot and focus on manifesting friendly, happy people from there on out. What followed was an incredible stream of people so friendly all we could do was laugh in astonishment. One after another, everyone we met from there on out went to extraordinary lengths to help us, and everyone was so cheerful it was like being in the “twilight zone.”

My point is that by consciously working with the law of attraction, you can either attract the sort of people you want to interact with or bring out the best in the people around you. Even really nasty characters smile, laugh and are kind sometimes. You can draw this out of them, but you have to stop focusing on what you don’t want – negativity – and start focusing on what you do want – happy, friendly, helpful coworkers.

I suggest you create some “spiritual Febreze” and use it on yourself as well as your work environment. Get a clean, empty spray bottle, distilled water, rubbing alcohol and an essential oil like lemon. Add a little alcohol to the water, and then add as much of the essential oil as it takes to create a pleasant scent. Next, charge this mixture with positive energy by calling to mind all the positive things you want to manifest. While you hold this mixture in your hands, channel the essence of that positive energy into the mixture. (If you’re unfamiliar with how to do this, you may want to study magickal spellwork in general.)

Every morning after you get out of the shower, spray yourself with this magic perfume and set your conscious intention for the day. It may go a little like this:

Universe, just as I carry this wonderful smell with me on my body, I will carry joy with me wherever I go. I will shine my inner light on any shadows I encounter, and bring out the best in others. I will greet everyone I meet with warmth and good humor, and will receive all sorts of blessings in return. As one who is connected to the stream of pure positive energy is more powerful than a thousand who are not, I look forward magically creating a wonderful atmosphere wherever I go. Fill my world with friendly, helpful, happy people! (This is just and example. You can set any intention you desire – the point is to set a CONSCIOUS intention for the day instead of taking whatever comes your way.)

If you also spray this “spiritual Febreze” around your work place every morning, you will infuse the atmosphere with its pleasant scent and positive vibration while at the same time encouraging everyone around you to unconsciously entrain to your positive vibration.

– Soul Arcanum


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Why Can’t She Cry?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Why Can’t She Cry?


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC, 2011. All rights reserved.  
All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

My family and I have had a horrendous 10 years. We’ve moved countries and continents, been cheated in business, had to live with family, gotten thrown out on our ears by family, and found it very hard to get by. Business deals that were sure to go through would just not happen at the last minute; this is still happening. There is constant worry about money even though we’re all working. It’s been really horrible and exhausting. I have also been cheated of my inheritance by my own sister because we lived and worked overseas and she looked after our parents. She feels she is entitled to everything they left behind: jewelry, property, everything. She took care to put everything in her name while I was overseas. My question, Soul Arcanum, is why can’t I cry? I have been hurt so badly by my sister plus all the stuff that we’ve been through, yet I can’t seem to cry. Please help.

K.

Dear K.:

I’m sorry to hear of all your heartache. There are a number of possible reasons why you can’t cry.

The most obvious explanation is that you are depressed. When severely depressed, many people experience the same thing you describe: an inability to cry. With severe depression, emotions become so flattened that one is essentially beyond weeping. I encourage you to see your doctor about this possibility. Of course, if you have already seen a doctor and are on anti-depressants, you have your answer: anti-depressants are known to blunt emotions, so many people who take them feel too numb to laugh, cry, or feel much of anything.

Another possible explanation is that you are too overwhelmed to allow yourself the “luxury” of succumbing to tears at this time. It sounds like your struggles are ongoing, which means you are not yet in a place where you can look back on your experiences and begin to heal and release the trauma involved. This is a bit like being in the midst of battle when you are wounded; since you are still in survival mode, you may not even feel the wound until the danger is behind you. Even if you are in pain, however, you know you have to keep going in order to survive, so you ignore the wound and keep on fighting. If you feel like you simply don’t have time to “fall apart” right now, that may explain why you can’t cry.

It’s also possible that you’ve got so much emotional pain bottled up inside that you’re afraid of what may happen (or what you may do) if you started to let it out. When our emotions feel more powerful than we think we can handle, it can feel like if we even crack the door of our hearts open, a tidal wave of emotion will burst through and sweep us away. We may fear experiencing that much pain all at once, or we may fear that if we allow ourselves to feel those feelings, we will lose control and do something we may regret. In either case, the solution is often to just keep our hearts tightly locked shut and keep plugging forward.

It is also possible that your inability to cry goes way back to early childhood or even a past life. Our experience of crying is naturally rooted in our early childhood and our relationships with our caregivers. After all, crying is the only way infants have to communicate that they need something. Those of us whose parents responded to our crying in positive ways tend to find comfort in crying as adults; those of us whose parents ignored us or became angry or upset by our crying tend to have crying issues.

If, when you were a little girl, your parents somehow punished you for crying, you may have difficulty allowing yourself to cry in any situation. Parents who don’t want to be bothered with their children’s complaints tend to say things like, “Stop crying! That’s not worth crying about,” or the ever popular, “If you want something to cry about, I will give you something to cry about!” Some parents even send their children to their rooms and refuse to let them come out until they have stopped crying. Of course, there are other ways parents reject or censor their children when they are upset. Some parents are so uncomfortable seeing their children in distress that they say things like, “Please don’t cry. It breaks my heart to see you so sad,” which tends to make the child feel guilty for crying. Even when they don’t verbally discourage their children from crying, if the parents are uncomfortable, the children may sense it and decide to stifle their tears.

Yours is a perfect problem for hypnotherapy. Since there are many potential causes, hypnotherapy could help you to quickly pinpoint and heal whatever is really going on. If you came to see me for therapy, I would spend our first couple of sessions helping you get comfortable with the therapeutic process and giving you subconscious suggestions to begin to heal and release whatever is troubling you. (This gentle, gradual approach tends to work best with people who may be afraid to feel whatever emotions may come up.) Eventually, I would dialogue with your higher self and ask about the root cause of your inability to cry. If this took us back to a traumatic event in childhood or a past life, I would guide you in re-membering that event and feeling all the feelings involved. Since your presenting problem is an inability to cry, my goal would be get those tears flowing. Once you were sobbing on my couch, I would know we had achieved a breakthrough.

Some therapists believe that reliving the emotions of past events is unnecessarily unpleasant; some believe that it is essential to the healing process; I believe it depends on the client and the situation. I do believe there is great healing power in catharsis, and that it is never wise to deny, repress, block or avoid emotions. Interestingly, recent scientific research has discovered that when we cry in sorrow, our bodies release endorphins and our tears contain toxins; when our eyes are simply watering due to irritation, neither of these is true. This means that crying is in and of itself therapeutic and healing. I think we all know this based on personal experience: who hasn’t succumbed to a good cry after a period of great stress or upset, felt completely spent, and then wiped their tears and decided to get on with things?

In my experience, cathartic sessions tend to produce healing miracles. Let’s take for example the case of a woman who had an inexplicable fear of driving a car. In therapy, a past life in which she had died in a car crash was discovered. Though this awareness alone didn’t produce results, in the last session, she was regressed to relive the accident, during which there was a great outpouring of emotion. That is when a breakthrough was achieved: following that session, her fear of driving completely disappeared.

Of course, it is always helpful to simply have someone loving and understanding to talk to. If you don’t have a friend or relative you feel you can pour your heart out to, you may find traditional counseling helpful. It may take a while to develop the trust and rapport necessary, but if you open up about your troubles to a caring person, eventually those tears should begin to flow. From deep tissue massage to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), there are many different healing modalities besides talk therapy and hypnotherapy that can release stored emotions, so explore your options. If you pray to Spirit for the answer, I’m sure you will be guided to the perfect healing path for you.

– Soul Arcanum

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She Always Wants What She Can’t Have

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on She Always Wants What She Can’t Have


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have a very bad case of wanting what I can’t have, especially when it comes to relationships. I might have a crush on a guy until he becomes a real prospect, but then I begin to have doubts and get scared off. There are two men in my heart who were boyfriends in the past. I wasn’t serious about them when they pursued me and I easily let both of them go. When I thought about committing to them, I had all sorts of excuses for why they weren’t right for me. Years later, they are married fathers leading happy lives and I am single and going through tough times alone. I am now able to see how great they were and how my excuses for not getting serious about them were poor ones. I can’t tell you how hard I kick myself for letting them go. It’s truly eating me up, loving them deeply now and wanting them back and thinking how much more meaningful and fulfilling my life would be now had I been wiser before. I don’t want to be obsessive and stuck, which is how I feel, but I don’t want to stop loving them because even with all the painful regret, the love somehow feels better than indifference and the petty criticisms I had for them when I was dating them. I want to move on, stop the cycle of running from love, and be happy. Please help!

O.

Dear O:

Thank you for doing such a wonderful job of explaining your situation. What you describe is a common pattern; in fact, I know a number of people personally who do the same sort of thing. I’m sure you’re familiar with the term self-sabotage and the idea that many people unconsciously sabotage their efforts to create what they want in their lives. As a hypnotherapist, I see this a bit differently. While it’s true that people may do things that don’t appear to make sense, there is always a good reason why people do the things they do.

For example, Joann came to me at more than 200 pounds, deeply frustrated and desperate to find a way to lose weight. She had been on countless diets in her 47 years and had lost tens of pounds over and over again. Every time she got down to a size 8, she would start putting weight back on and regain all she had lost and more. In this way, she crept from around 145 pounds to over 200 despite years of dieting.

When I took her into a deep trance and asked her to go back to a significant event in her weight struggle, she at first relayed some upsetting but relatively minor experiences such as being embarrassed of her body as an adolescent and an incident in which she couldn’t fit into the jeans she was trying to borrow from a friend. These were just the outer layers of the onion, however. Eventually when asked to go back to the next significant event, she began to cry and hyperventilate. As I walked her through what she was experiencing, it came out that she had been raped at the age of 22; it was after this that she began to put on weight in an effort to feel less attractive and thus safer. She had been a size 8 at the time of the rape, and every time she became a size 8 again, she would grow very uncomfortable and immediately try to remedy what her subconscious perceived to be a problem by gaining weight again.

When I brought her out of trance, it was clear that a light bulb had come on: She now understood that she hadn’t been sabotaging herself – she had been trying to protect herself. The problem wasn’t a lack of self-love; it was the unfounded belief that if she didn’t carry extra weight, she would be hurt again. Once we healed and released the past trauma and put some empowering new beliefs in place, she found it relatively easy to lose the weight and keep it off.

Perhaps you’ve already figured out what this has to do with you. In case you haven’t, I’ll offer you a case that is a closer match to what you’re going through. Sarah came to me with a problem similar to yours: she was in her late thirties and had never been married because she too always wanted what she couldn’t have. She only wanted men who were unavailable for some reason. A couple of times, she did develop crushes on men who eventually returned her interest, but once she could have them, she didn’t want them anymore.

Regression therapy uncovered a number of possible causes for this pattern, such as her father abandoning the family when she was small, which led her mother into a depression from which she never recovered. From this she developed the belief that it’s never safe to give your heart completely to another human being.

More powerful, however, was the past life she relived in which her parents wanted her to marry a man of means but she chose to marry a penniless youth for love. Though he was handsome and romantic when he was courting her, her husband turned out to be a mean drunk who beat her and the children they had together. They lived in miserable destitution because he was too drunk to earn a living and would spend the money she was able to bring in on alcohol. She would sometimes see the man she had chosen NOT to marry with his wife, looking happy and prosperous, and think to herself that she had made a terrible choice. She died young in childbirth, and as she was dying, she was very worried about what would become of her young children with just their alcoholic father to depend upon. As she was dying, she was filled with regret and thoughts of how just one bad decision can ruin your life.

As a result of this traumatic past life experience, she was incredibly indecisive in this life: every time she was faced with a decision, she would get anxious and second-guess herself. She was also forever thinking that the grass must be greener on the other side. Though she consciously believed that she wanted to fall in love and get married, on a subconscious level, she did not believe this was a wise or safe thing to do. This led her to constantly chase after men she could never actually catch, and to run away from those who chased her. Within two years of resolving this past trauma and the limiting beliefs underlying her lack of fulfillment in love, she was happily married to the man of her dreams.

To resolve your pattern, first you must stop beating yourself up about it. Assume that your subconscious mind is trying to help you and that your job is to get your conscious and subconscious minds working in harmony. Imagine that your goal is to move a dresser: if your conscious mind is pushing forward on one side and your subconscious mind is pushing forward on the other side, you’re going to end up very frustrated. Now imagine that you can bring your subconscious mind over to your side to push WITH you: suddenly, things start to move forward with surprising ease.

I know of no faster way to totally transform your life than to begin to consciously work with your subconscious mind and higher self. Since every person’s story is unique, I encourage you to seek hypnotherapy so you can uncover and resolve whatever may be keeping you from a truly fulfilling experience in love.

Finally, it’s normal to continue to love people we’ve loved in the past, but that doesn’t mean we’re meant to be with them in the future. I think you’re hung up on these old boyfriends because they are symbols of the sort of man and relationship you want. Instead of lamenting the ones who got away, I encourage you to focus on the future and open your heart to meeting someone new.

Soul Arcanum

 


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Can a Relationship Make You Physically Ill?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Can a Relationship Make You Physically Ill?


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I married a man I had dated for eight years. He swept me off my feet and I loved him with all my heart. After almost two years of marriage and the birth of our daughter, I was diagnosed with a blood disease that causes low blood platelets. It was an awful ordeal that involved a lot of drugs and surgery, none of which helped. This disease was active for over eight years but has been in remission for the past year. During the time I was ill, I gave birth to my son and divorced my husband, who was going to school in another town. I was supporting two households while I was sick and running the family business with no support. I was in survival mode. In the past few years, I have developed a wonderful support group. The problem is that we have two kids together, so we have to be in some kind of contact. Lately, on his visits to town, my ex has become more intimidating. Last time he came into my house and started looking through the kitchen cabinets and touching everything. While this was happening, I became physically ill and felt like I was going to throw up. After he left, I developed severe lower back pain. This subsided but now my TMJ has flared up. I know that TMJ is associated with repressed anger, which makes sense since whenever I expressed anger in the relationship, the sword was turned against me so I learned to just be quiet. I don’t know if this is some kind of karmic debt or psychic attack, but I do know that I am happier and healthier when my ex is absent from my life and my mind. Do you think that a relationship can make you physically ill? If so, what do I do to protect myself?

– Soul Arcanum

Dear J:

Since stress can make you physically ill, anyone who upsets you can affect your sense of well-being. It sounds like back when you developed this rare blood disease, you were under a great deal of stress. It’s interesting that since you made some big changes in your life and developed a strong support group, the disease has gone into remission. I believe this is not so much about your relationship with your ex as it is about how you take care of yourself.

I’m glad that you shared that you learned to repress your anger. In doing this, you were not honoring your true feelings. Stifling our true feelings leads to churning energy, which can cause all sorts of physical problems from TMJ to the dis-ease you describe. If instead of “fighting” for what you believe in, you repress your feelings, that energy will fight within you. This can cause a war in your immune system that destroys your platelets and sense of well-being instead of the “outer war” that should be taking place in the troubled relationship. (I am not advocating war or fighting but rather dealing with what is really bothering you instead of repressing your feelings.)

Any emotional disharmony or discomfort will eventually filter down to a physical level if you allow it to grow severe or go on long enough. I learned this the hard way in my own first marriage. I was deeply unhappy but since I had two small children, I was very reluctant to end the marriage. The more I tried to ignore my feelings and do what I thought I “should” do, the sicker I got. For the last year of my marriage, I could literally not breathe because I had chronic sinus infections. I’m not just talking about headaches and stuffiness; I’m talking about filling Kleenex with gobs of green gunk every hour of every day and feeling like I was drowning in mucus. Nighttime was especially miserable because I could never breathe through my nose. As soon as I left the marriage, my sinuses cleared up and I’ve not had another problem since. Was I allergic to my ex? Was my constant inner turmoil causing psychic congestion? All I know for sure is that not honoring my true feelings made me very ill indeed.

I feel your journey was similar; when you began to honor your true feelings and fulfill your true needs, you healed yourself. I encourage you to view yourself not as being in remission but rather as cured. Remember: every cell in our bodies is replaced on a regular basis, so the body you have today is NOT the same body you had years ago when you experienced problems. You have recreated yourself and have every reason to expect your health and well-being to continue because you now know how to take good care of yourself.

I also feel that the extreme discomfort you experienced when your ex was in your house was largely a result of your own fear; you had already learned to associate him with not being good for you, so when he came in and started touching all of your things, you became anxious. This was also an instinctive reaction, of course: your body knows he is not good for you, but since you were trying to be nice and polite, your instincts had to shout to be heard. Imagine that you have a loyal Golden Retriever. What would she have done in that situation? No doubt she would have started barking like crazy and refused to let your ex in. This is an uninhibited instinctive reaction; instead, you stifled your bark, put on a smile, and wound up feeling ill.

You could go one of two ways with this: you could nicely refuse to allow your ex anywhere near you or your things, or you could stop giving him so much power over you. (Personally, I would opt for the latter!)

In the situation you describe, your ex had more power than you; his chi was stronger because fear/negative emotions made you weak and vulnerable. Whenever we succumb to negative emotions, we become vulnerable to negative experiences. No one can create in your experience unless you let them; people can only negatively affect you when you are not consciously creating what you want and your own vibration is not soaring. If you are aligned with peace, love, joy and well-being, people can knock themselves out trying to upset you or control you but they will have no emotional power over you whatsoever.

There are many things you can do to reclaim your power. First, cultivate a high, fearless vibration. Assume that all is and will be well. Send positive thoughts and feelings out. Develop greater chi through practices like meditation, martial arts, yoga and prayer. Consciously channel your energy toward what you desire through various rituals like surrounding yourself with protection and cleansing your environment.

For example, you could erect a force field around your space to keep your ex from wanting to come in or touch your stuff. Have fun with this; play at it. Wouldn’t it be amusing if, after you erected this psychic force field, he stopped at the threshold and kept his hands in his pockets? If you lighten up and exercise your own power, you’ll feel better whether you work obvious magic or not.

Finally, try to send your ex love. Whether he chooses to bless you back or not, you will brighten your own world. Begin by silently saying the divine in me greets the divine in thee whenever you see him or think about him. Remember that you are both more than your personalities this lifetime, and that your souls are part of a very old story. By reaching for this higher, more loving attitude, it won’t matter what he does; you will set yourself free from any icky old karmic patterns and align with the peace and well-being you desire.


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Bodywork and Emotional Healing

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Psychic Protection by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Bodywork and Emotional Healing


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have had a number of massages in my life, but yesterday I had a very unusual experience. I was getting a deep tissue massage from a new therapist when suddenly I was overcome with feelings of profound grief and sorrow. I also experienced tremendous physical pain where she was touching my back beneath my left shoulder blade. Much to my embarrassment, I started to writhe in pain and sob. It was so intense I had to stop her and end the session. I could not wait to get out of that office. I felt very bad about this for many reasons. I’m now wondering if maybe I picked up on the feelings of the therapist or if she somehow touched off a “nerve” in me. I have never had anything like this happen before. What do you think?

R.

Dear R.:

What you describe is very common; in fact, I’ve experienced something like it myself. I too was seeing a new massage therapist when this occurred. He employed an electric blanket to prevent me from getting chilled, and everything was going fine until he covered my upper torso with the blanket so he could work on my legs. Suddenly I was overcome with feelings of panic. I felt like I was suffocating and being crushed; like the blanket weighed hundreds of pounds. Instead of succumbing to panic, I decided to try to relax into those feelings and see what may be behind them.

Immediately I began to remember a past life in India, and I knew that I was at the moment of my death. I was at a sacred temple where thousands of people had traveled on pilgrimage on a holy day. The crowd was pushing forward, trying to get to where they could touch a sacred statue and leave an offering. We were on top of each other when the crowd pushed forward in a fervor and I felt myself being crushed. I felt as panic-stricken as if I were actually there and being crushed to death. This was so physically and emotionally intense that I too nearly had to end the session.

It is very common to have strong emotions come up during body work. Most seasoned massage therapists have seen this so many times that nothing surprises them anymore, while other body workers purposefully seek to help clients achieve emotional healing and release. Of course, not all massage therapists are created equal; those who are especially spiritual may spark this sort of healing, while those who are more physically oriented may focus wholly on the muscles beneath their hands. Further, strong reactions tend to be sparked when an area of the body that is holding pain or tension is touched.

As for why psychic insights, past life memories, and repressed emotions tend to surface during body, for work most people, receiving a massage is the deepest trance state they ever experience. As soon as they slip into this altered state of consciousness, whatever has been just beneath the surface of their awareness tends to come up. Big vibrational shifts toward an unsual state of peace and relaxation also tend to produce energetic tension. It’s a bit like being in a hot air balloon: we may be hovering a few feet above the ground when suddenly someone stokes up the fire. If we have sand bags on board to keep us grounded, this creates tension: we are being pulled skyward but we have all of this baggage weighing us down. In order to soar, we may have to drop some of that weight. This is a natural process; our subconscious minds seize the opportunity to bring up whatever is heaviest or most needs to be released when an opportunity to go higher arises.

There are all sorts of theories about how we hold old energy in our bodies and auras. As I don’t have room to go into detail here, you may want to explore the work of pioneers in this field like Wilhelm Reich, Fritz Perls and Stanislav Grof. The main thing to understand is that we tend to hold wounds from childhood and even past lives in our bodies. For example, someone who was raped in a past life may experience pain on intercourse; someone whose head was bashed in may experience migraines; someone who was suffocated may experience asthma or panic attacks during which they feel they can’t breathe. It’s interesting that you experienced the reaction you did when your therapist touched a certain spot underneath your left shoulder blade, which of course is directly in line with your heart. The important thing to keep in mind is that these are not problems to be feared and rejected; they are helpful symptoms that tell us that healing is needed.

As for how and why we store trauma in the body, basically we have a natural tendency to try to distance ourselves from painful experiences. If we have repressed trauma on an emotional or mental level, then when we shed our physical bodies, we will carry that trauma with us in our subtle bodies. When we then incarnate in a new body, the subtle bodies <q>inform</q> the new physical body, which naturally integrates that energy and information. Mind/body medicine has clearly established that our thoughts and feelings affect our physical well-being. It is also true that the body can affect our feelings and thoughts; for example, to calm yourself emotionally, you have only to breathe in a slow, calm way. A change on any level affects the whole being, so for lasting change to occur, healing must take place on all levels. If we view our mental, emotional and physical bodies as a team in a six-legged race, it’s easy to see how a problem in one body will affect the whole.

We might compare these different levels of energy to water. If energy becomes frozen in the energy field (locked in the body), it is something we can run into or trip over and it is very hard to manipulate. If we raise its vibration to water (the level of emotion), we can still slip on it but it is easier to work with. If we raise it again to the level of steam by bringing the buried thoughts behind it into our conscious awareness, then it will naturally begin to evaporate and dissipate. It sounds like in your case, some old trauma was brought up to the level of emotion, and that energy began to be released. The awakening of that intense energy caused the same reaction of panic and avoidance that caused it to get stuck in the first place. Until you face it and work with it, it will remain with you. If instead, you allow that energy to lead you to new awareness, it will begin to evaporate and be released. This is the power of catharsis; anything that evokes a strong reaction is a signal that there is tension that needs healing.

One reason hypnotherapy is so effective is because it works at the causative level of the mind; it quickly brings frozen issues up into our conscious awareness so that they can be processed, healed and released. Since it is important to address all levels of one’s being, however, several different modalities may prove helpful. It is important to honor what works best for you. For example, someone who is highly kinesthetic may respond best to body work, whereas someone highly visual may respond best to hypnotherapy. There are many different modalities for spiritual and emotional healing; the important thing is to honor your own nature and trust that emotional catharsis will prove helpful and healing in the long run.

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A Spiritual Response to Global Crises

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing, Manifesting, Meditation, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on A Spiritual Response to Global Crises


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I feel so unsettled these days because of the crisis in Japan. How do you feel about this? Are we going to get through this? 

Ka:

Dear Ka:

Please note that I do not intend to make light of the situation in Japan or human suffering in general. My heart goes out to those who have lost their loved ones, homes and businesses in this tragedy, and to all who face an uncertain future – which includes you and me, my friend. However, in asking for my opinion, I assume that you are seeking a higher spiritual perspective on all of this. From this higher spiritual perspective, I can see that all is well and that there are valuable lessons and opportunities in this situation.

The reason you are feeling uneasy is because the whole world is feeling uneasy. Your unsettled feelings belie the fact that we are all connected; what happens to one happens to all on some level. This is perhaps the greatest lesson humanity is in the process of learning right now.

We live in exciting times. It wasn’t that long ago that an earthquake could have devastated Japan and only those present would have known about it. Now we are all connected on more than a spiritual level; we instantly receive news of what is happening across the globe in vivid, full-color images. Further, given nuclear technology, what happens in other parts of the world could have a devastating effect on us here.

I believe that what we see happening on a physical level mirrors what is happening on a spiritual level, and that the political and ecological problems we are facing arise from an inner spiritual crisis. When we began to question and reject organized religion, we lost more than just false beliefs and illusions: most of us also lost all sense of the sacred. This created a hole in the soul of the world and left many people spiritually adrift. It also encouraged the abuse of the planet and other people, for if nothing has meaning, then life becomes entirely materialistic. It’s then every person/country for itself in a race to gobble up as many resources as possible before someone else gets there.

To me it just makes sense that in order to address the crises we see in our outer experience, we must look to what is happening on an inner level. For one thing, it is from the inside that we make decisions: it is our values that determine how we treat the planet and each other.  Further, the seeds of physical existence are planted metaphysically; the state of the physical world reflects what is happening on a spiritual level, so to change what is happening in the outer world, we must change what is happening within.

Just as we can now fly around the world and connect with people on other continents via phone and internet, we are all growing more and more overtly connected. This is moving us toward the realization that we are not separate individuals, separate races and separate nations, but all part of one big family sharing the same planet and resources. Whether it is by divine design or not, tragedies like the one in Japan are awakening us all to the realization of Oneness.

I am sure that we are all going to get through this, but it may not happen here on Earth unless we wake up and develop a respectful attitude toward all life as sacred. Our ancestors had a healthy respect for nature; events like the earthquake and tsunami are reminders that we are completely dependent on the same nature we are so determined to conquer and exploit. The reason I believe we will all get through this is because I know we are more than our physical bodies. Since we are all multidimensional beings, when we die, we will all continue to exist in other dimensions. The earth plane is a place of limited physical resources and extreme contrast. We incarnated here to have an intense experience in hopes of achieving tremendous spiritual growth. We shouldn’t be surprised that Earth isn’t one big amusement park, for that’s not what we signed up for: We came to develop the wisdom to choose love over fear, and to do that, we have to have unsettling experiences.

You are understandably afraid. The news is full of frightening information about war, ecological destruction and every sort of tragedy imaginable. While it’s understandable to feel afraid, I’d like to submit that your fear is a call from your soul to find new faith and reach for light instead of succumbing to darkness.

You begin to do this by holding a vision that is beautiful and peaceful. You can send prayers to those in need and imagine everyone coming together to help each other. If there is something overt you can do to help those who move you with compassion, do it. Otherwise, vow not to be sucked into fear and despair but instead to keep your inner light burning bright so it can shine out to others and illuminate their way.

To manifest global positive change, we must join together to promote what we value. Scientific research has shown that group meditation can create a powerful positive influence on the collective consciousness of society. While there have always been natural events like earthquakes, if we unite in appreciation of the sacred nature of the planet, we may not have to deal with nuclear fallout on top of whatever Mother nature dishes out. Perhaps if humanity grows more peaceful, the planet will as well. For more information on transcendental meditation, visit istpp.org and tm.org.

By affecting collective consciousness, we begin to change what is happening on the spiritual level from which physical existence arises. The same unified field of consciousness that has made you feel uneasy can be used to generate new peace, love, harmony and well-being. You’ve been receiving impressions from the unified field of human consciousness; it’s time for us all to start purposefully sending positive vibes out.

To find your own way to new peace, regular meditation should prove powerful, for it will lead to the development of equanimity. You will then be at peace regardless of what is happening in your outer experience. In addition to meditation, I recommend learning how to have out-of-body experiences, for aside from having a near-death experience, this is the most profound way I know to conquer fear of death and awaken to the truth that we are all multidimensional beings. For a comforting peek at what astral travel can do for you, check out this fascinating talk by Jurgen Ziewe.

When you realize that the Earth is just one dimension of many and that we will all leave it one day for other worlds, it’s easier to relax about what is happening around the globe. This doesn’t mean we stop caring. Rather, instead of running around telepathically yelling The sky is falling!, we are able to respond to whatever and whomever comes our way from a place of higher spiritual values.

I believe we are heading toward the realization of a global community and hopefully a period of greater peace and cooperation, for it is becoming ever more clear that what happens to one affects us all.

Soul Arcanum

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Relationship Still Haunts her Many Years Later

Filed Under: Destiny/Higher Plan, Emotional Well-being, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Relationship Still Haunts her Many Years Later


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am wondering about a relationship that started when I was 20 and ended three years later. It was very rocky and passionate; it still haunts me to this day. I am married to a wonderful man who is in many ways the opposite of the man who left me to pursue his dream career. Despite my best efforts to get over it, this haunts me daily. Is this unfinished business, some sort of karmic destiny, or am I obsessed by what I can’t have ever again in this life? When I found out that he got married five years after we had broken up, I felt like someone had winded me. It was one of the worst and most embarrassing moments of my life, since our mutual aquaintance assumed I was past all of this. I’m hoping you have some insights for me. Will we ever meet again to put this to rest? Will we be together in the next life?

Anne

Dear Anna:

You are not alone; I receive many questions like yours at Soul Arcanum, and also do many readings for people who have similar issues. You’ve asked if this is unfinished business, karma or obsession, and I think all three are going on. You have a strong karmic connection to this individual, which means your relationship never really ended – it just went dormant on a physical level for a while. There is a lot of unfinished emotional business here, which is causing you to obsess about him. Though we tend to view obsession as something that is unhealthy, obsession is really a call from our subconscious that we are missing something important. In this case, it’s a sign that you have a deep wound that needs more healing.

Many people continue to have dreams about important people from their past for the rest of their lives. I often dream about my ex-husband; in fact, I probably dream about him more than I dream about my current husband, which feels strange and unsettling. In these dreams, I am usually hoping my ex will be “nice” to me. At first, I never had dreams in which he was kind to me, but over the years, the dreams have gotten more and more positive. I always wake up from those dreams feeling ridiculously happy that he bothered to give me the time of day.

These dreams have led me to realize that I still feel guilty about our marriage ending and some of the choices I made when we were together. I feel bad that I was unable to fulfill my vow to remain married to him until death. While I am very happily remarried, my ex doesn’t seem happy in his own life, so I still have a strong desire to make sure he is okay. Every time I interact with him in some way, I am reminded that he may still be hurting because of choices I made in the past. Though I may have moved on in my physical life, on a metaphysical level, I am still a few decades back, trying to find a way to make everything all better.

I also often think about a boyfriend I had in college who hurt me very deeply. As he was an angel when he was sober but a devil when he was drunk, I just can’t believe some of the things he did when he was drinking. There is a part of me that still seeks to understand and make peace with it all. Whether we are dreaming about someone from the past or they keep popping into our minds when we’re awake, it’s a sign that we have some unfinished business with that person or a wound that needs more healing.

The feelings you describe are both normal and very common. Just as the body is constantly seeking to return to balance, the soul is constantly seeking to work out any kinks or issues in order to find new peace and understanding. On a conscious or physical level, we may have moved on, but if there is debris from the past that has been swept under the proverbial rug, our subconscious mind will keep trying to drag it out so we can deal with it more appropriately.

This is what is happening when someone from the past pops into our minds. Usually, the feelings we last experienced in relationship to that person come with the thought of them; at the first hint of emotional pain, most of us stuff our thoughts of that person back under the rug. Thus we may go through years of having someone pop into our minds, for if we keep pushing them back under the rug, they remain where we may trip over them every time we pass through that inner room.

As we move through life, we are constantly growing in strength and wisdom. When we become more capable of dealing with something that happened in the past, we tend to notice thoughts about it more because we aren’t so quick to shove it back under the rug. When we finally become capable of truly dealing with something, instead of pushing those thoughts away, we begin to turn toward them with curiosity, as you are doing now. We begin to ask why this person keeps coming to mind and perhaps drawing correlations between what we’re experiencing, the patterns we’ve experienced over the years, and this old wound or issue from long ago. Instead of shoving thoughts of that person under the rug, we hold them up to the light and ponder the best way to deal with them.

It is highly likely that you will be drawn back into relationship with each other in future lives so that you can work through the karma between you. Further, whether positive or negative in nature, strong emotions create a gravitational force that draws us toward the object of those feelings. However, it is important to keep in mind that these relationships are ultimately not about the other person; they are about our own personal lessons and issues. While we may have karma with someone, we don’t actually need to interact with that person to learn whatever that relationship may have to teach us or to make peace with that individual. All of that can happen on a metaphysical level.

That being said, if you keep thinking about someone from the past and longing for closure, I think you’re wise to honor those thoughts and feelings as signs from your inner being regarding something important that you need in order to feel the way you want to feel and create what you want to create in your life. In many readings on such matters, Spirit has encouraged people to act on such feelings by seeking the person involved out and meeting with them. This can be very powerful, for it almost always leads to a far different experience than the person expects. For example, when the person who has felt “in love” with a certain individual for many years meets them in person again, they may realize that the person they have been in love with no longer exists and perhaps never did. In other words, they’ve been in love with an idea of a person, not a real individual. If someone has <q>hated</q> someone for years, they may realize upon meeting them again that they are not the monster of their memory and imagination. Such meetings can spark sudden and lasting change as they lead the sufferer to let go of fantasies rooted in the past and move on to more fully enjoy present realities.

When the individual can’t be met in person for some reason, meeting on a metaphysical level can be just as healing. This is especially helpful when the individual who is “haunting” you has died. While these encounters can be affected via meditation, a hypnotherapist would be able to guide you into a deeper level of experience and help you work through any strong feelings that come up so that you can achieve lasting peace and freedom from obsession.

Soul Arcanum

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The Law of Allowing

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on The Law of Allowing


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I have been studying the law of attraction for about five years, and have manifested a number of great things so far. Part of this process has included working with a life coach who has taught me to focus on what I want in my life, pour lots of positive emotion into my visualization efforts, wish for what I desire with all my heart, but then surrender whatever happens to a higher plan and power. This is the part I’m struggling with: if we can create what we want in our lives, why do we have to surrender to a higher plan? My teacher tells me that the more I strain for control, the less control I actually have. Can you explain this? Also, do you think we can decide what we will create in our lives even if it goes against some pre-established higher plan?

Bob

Dear Bob:

I chose your question because this is something I’ve struggled with myself. We hear a lot about the law of attraction, but not so much about another law that is just as essential to the process of manifesting: the law of allowing. In my experience, most people are much better at working with one of these laws than the other.

People who are better at working with the law of attraction tend to be successful and good at manifesting what they want, but they also tend to experience lots of stress and frustration. These sorts of people are better at getting what they think they want than being happy with what they have. People who are better at working with the law of allowing tend to be easygoing, relaxed types who struggle to make ends meet and often feel sorry for themselves because life just seems unfair. They are better at being happy with what they have than they are at creating what they want and need in life.

Of course, these are gross generalizations: each individual is a unique mixture of all sorts of traits and qualities, and there are many well-balanced people in the world who draw the best from both camps. This is the goal, by the way: to get good at working with both laws so that we can create what we want in our lives and be happy and at peace at the same time. Instead of a warrior or a dreamer, we want to be like a Tai Chi master: both a powerful force to be reckoned with AND able to flow with the other forces around us instead of fighting against them.

As I mentioned, your question is something I’ve struggled with myself. In fact, this issue of control recently reared up again. Before falling asleep one night, I was pondering just how much control we actually have over our course of experience, and I thought to pray to Spirit to send me an illuminating dream. I had a number of dreams that night, but there was part of one dream that felt powerful and stayed with me when I awoke:

In the dream, I am plowing a field with a donkey, and am strapped to the donkey with an old-fashioned leather yoke. I am aware that this is the first time I have done this sort of plowing, and there is an invisible force guiding me, telling me what to do and how to go about the whole process. When I get to the end of the first row and try to bring the donkey around to go back the other way, the donkey angrily whips around on me and knocks me backwards. This scares the heck out of me, but it doesn’t kill or seriously injure me. (I remember thinking with great surprise that I was neither killed nor injured.) I then feel that invisible force guiding me to regain control of the donkey and set it moving back on course again.

When I woke up, I knew that this dream was in answer to my prayer. I see it as a message about how much control we have over our course of experience and how we go about working with the creative forces of the Universe. As I meditated on this, a long message from Spirit came through about how creating what we want in our lives is very much like working with nature to cultivate various crops.

Here is some of what was relayed to me:

  • We aren’t the only force influencing what happens in our lives. We can harness the creative forces of the Universe to create what we desire, but since we are dealing with wild forces, sometimes this is easier said than done. If we don’t completely know what we’re doing (and who ever does?), we may sometimes experience some backlash. The bigger the goal or dream – the bigger the “donkey” and the field – the trickier things tend to get.
  • We can choose what we are going to cultivate as well as how we will go about it. We choose how much time and effort we put in and how much we study nature and how to go about growing lush crops, but there will always be factors that remain beyond our control.
  • The weather/climate we are working in will always play a big factor in our results. Even if we cultivate very carefully, sometimes forces beyond our control can destroy what we’ve been working on. Of course, those same forces can also prove ideal and make our crops grow especially lush. Though we are forever looking for ways to control our results or at least understand why some things happen at some times and other thing happen at other times, there is much that remains beyond our scope and understanding. This is the realm of so-called bad luck and good fortune.

Many people have a hard time working with both/and thinking as opposed to either/or thinking. The less rigid and limited we are in our outlook, the more we can understand and work with laws of the Universe. For example, most people think they must choose between believing that we either have control over what happens in our lives OR we don’t have control and must surrender to “God’s will” or chance. I’m suggesting that we both have control over what happens in our lives AND must surrender to a higher plan.

This is the way of the farmer who does his best to grow what he wants and needs in his life. He gets up early, harnesses his donkey, heads out to the fields and does his very best to cultivate what he wants. He reads the Farmer’s Almanac, studies the ways of nature, and allows both his learned knowledge and his instincts to tell him when the time is right for planting, watering, weeding and reaping. He prays to higher forces to bless and guide him in all of this, and he listens within for that guidance. Ultimately, however, he knows that much remains beyond his control. He feels that he is a part of the nature he is working with, and this makes him feel safe: he is at home in this world, for the very forces that hold so much power over what happens in his life are the source of his own creation. He therefore wisely surrenders ultimate outcomes with faith that no matter what happens, everything will be fine.

I believe this is a wise and powerful approach, for it allows us to both cultivate what we want in our lives while at the same time feeling a sense of peace with the way things are. Ironically, letting go of outcomes actually makes us more powerful cultivators of what we want in our lives, for when we can relax and feel good without straining for control, we are able to maintain a high vibration. This is like being calm and assured when yoked to that donkey. If we approach the donkey feeling stress, strain, anxiety or frustration, the donkey will sense it and may rear back on us and make things very difficult. If, however, we are calm and assured, we remain masters of the situation and are able to steer toward where we want to go and align with a smooth journey to fulfillment.

Soul Arcanum

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Healing Karma with Father who Abused Her

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Karma, Past Lives, Reincarnation by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Healing Karma with Father who Abused Her


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I “divorced” my father when I was in my late 20s because he was a pedophile who refused to acknowledge the harm he’d done to my siblings and me. I pressed criminal charges against him when I was in my early 30s and he went to jail. My brother kept in contact with him until a few years ago when he took a sexploitation trip through Thailand. I’ve been through 12-step programs for incest survivors and have done a lot of inner work. My children know why they don’t have a second grandfather. I consider myself a full survivor but want to know if there are ways to complete the emotional healing process so I don’t carry unfinished karma into my next incarnation. Thank you for the great work you do through your columns. My friends and family appreciate them too.

Moneca

Dear Moneca:

First I have to commend you for all the inner work you’ve already done to heal from the past and empower yourself for the future. I also applaud your foresight, for you are right in assuming that until this experience is fully healed, it will come up again and again for you, if not in this lifetime, then in future lives.

My sense is that you’ve pretty much made peace with this on a personal level; what’s left is to make peace with your father so you can align with a higher level of experience with him in future lives. On the other hand, you may already be at the point where you can look at the blessings that came from this experience and give thanks for the unique journey that has been yours, which is a sign that you’re at peace and ready to move on.

Before those readers who can’t see how such an experience could possibly involve any sort of blessing start sending me hate mail, let me explain. I’m sure this difficult journey made you question life and become a deeper thinker, that it stretched you to find inner strength you didn’t know you had, and that it led you to develop compassion for everyone who suffers abuse. We tend to view painful experiences as curses, but in my experience, the more life stretches our capacity to endure, the stronger and wiser we grow.

There is a key turning point in the spiritual healing process where one who has been abused begins to find compassion for the abuser. Let me share my own experience to demonstrate that I know what I’m talking about.

When I was a teenager, I was stalked and eventually raped by a crazy guy in his twenties. Though I was too young to fully realize it at the time, I have come to understand that our meeting was destined and that we already had a strong but troubled karmic bond.

His mother cut and styled hair out of her home, which is where we first encountered each other – at least, in this lifetime. When I saw him, every hair on my body stood up at attention. There was a sense of instant recognition I’ve come to associate with reuniting with someone from a past life, only this time, the feeling was far from positive. In fact, I was inexplicably terrified.

Since there was no logical reason to feel this way, I pushed the feelings aside. It’s too long a story to go into in detail here, but this guy must have felt something strong too because he began to stalk me. I would be driving home from work and see him in his car, following me. When I left school for the day, he would be in the parking lot, leaning against his car, just staring at me. He began to call me every night. When I tried to shake him off, he began to threaten to harm my little brother or my friends. I had learned that he had a number of friends who were convicted felons, so I decided to take his threats seriously.

He stalked me for months before he managed to get me alone; that’s when the rape occurred. I guess I was naïve, but I was truly shocked at how violent he became. It was following that experience that I took my power back, shed my fear of him, and took a stand by telling him that if he ever contacted me again, I would go to the police. (I know I should have gone to the police anyway, but I was sure my father would kill him if he found out, and I couldn’t bear the thought of my dad spending the rest of his life in prison.)

The turning point in my healing process came when I realized that I would rather be me and be raped by this man than to be him. As I struggled to understand why he had done what he’d done, I realized that his inner world was a really twisted, ugly place. I only had to live with his ugliness for a while; for him, it was a constant and inescapable prison.

As I had karmic encounters with other people from past lives, I also realized that I must have some history with this guy. I don’t know what happened back then, but I came to understand that we were both unconsciously acting out some old patterns. I also realized that if I didn’t want to keep circling this enemy throughout future lives, I would have to consciously change things for the better.

This is where your own story comes in. While I am in no way suggesting you try to find a way to justify what your father did or equating an attack by a stranger with the profound betrayal of a parent, it’s nevertheless true that in order to fully heal and set yourself free from this for all time, you would be wise to try to find compassion for your father.

Can you imagine what it would be like to be him? There is a lot of wisdom in saying to yourself, There but for the grace of God go I. While people like to tell themselves that they could never be as selfish or cruel as the individuals they most despise, in my view, that sort of thinking is a good way to be born as just such an individual because walking some miles in their shoes may the only way to develop compassion and understanding for them.

On my own quest for healing, it occurred to me that I may have hurt this man really badly at some point. As I pondered the karma between us, I also imagined him being raped or abused in a future lifetime in order to learn some compassion, and that’s when it occurred to me that perhaps this was why I had been attacked – to develop greater kindness and compassion than I had embodied in the past. (To better understand karmic relationships and why we reincarnate with the same people over and over again, you might want to explore the research of Michael Newton, Ph.D.)

If finding compassion for your dad proves too difficult, hypnotherapy may be just what you’re looking for. A gifted therapist can guide you in hearing your higher self so you can determine what needs to be done next in your healing process, help you heal and release any issues that are still sore spots for you, and empower you to move past any beliefs that could be preventing you from fully resolving all of this. For example, if you believe it’s not safe to forgive because you could be hurt again, working with a hypnotherapist can help you reprogram your belief system so you can bless yourself with greater peace and healing.

You will know that you have completed the healing process when you can give thanks for the wisdom, strength, compassion and other benefits you received from this experience, and when you can feel compassion for your father and sincerely hope he finds his way to the same peace you hunger for in your own heart.

Soul Arcanum

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