Category: Emotional Well-being


How to Overcome Depression and Reignite a Passionate Connection to Life and Spirit

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How to Overcome Depression and Reignite a Passionate Connection to Life and Spirit

on healing depression…
Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am a 38-year-old single mom. I work in the mental health field, am studying the healing arts, and have a long history of being intuitive. I also come with a history of abuse and have worked hard for many years to live a stable and healthy life. This year I made some changes that included leaving my fiance and moving to another state. I know in my heart of hearts I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Many wonderful opportunities have come my way to make all of these changes possible. Here’s the part I am having a hard time understanding: Before I became more stable and healthy, I used to experience times when I felt very connected to Spirit and had feelings of hope. Now that I’m older and in a much better place in my life than ever before, life seems rather dull, and I often find it difficult to tap into the positive feelings of Spirit. Is this common depression due to all the recent changes in my life, or am I suffering from spiritual disconnection? What can I do differently to jumpstart some positive feelings toward Spirit? Many blessings and thank you!
– Lisa

Dear Lisa:

Most likely you’re just in a phase of integrating what you’ve learned in the past and enjoying some of the fruits of your labors before your next big adventure begins. It’s like when we start a new level of school: At first, it’s thrilling and unnerving, but after a few months, what once seemed exciting has become a dull routine.

For quite some time you had some really big, dramatic challenges to chew on. Now that you’ve managed to build a solid foundation for yourself and things are going more smoothly, you’re more content but life seems less exciting and meaningful.

Many people are unknowingly addicted to the emotional highs and lows of lots of drama. Constant angst makes them feel alive and gives them something important to do. They think they want life to get easier, but when it does, they sabotage themselves because life seems boring, or they wonder why, now that they have everything they thought they needed, they aren’t as happy as they expected to be. Of course, as we evolve, it’s natural to experience less drama, hardship and conflict since we’re gaining wisdom and our vibration is rising, which empowers us to create what we want in our lives.

People who struggle with depression for long periods of time suffer from a lack of strong desire. Life is actually too easy; what they need is a big challenge. When a crisis arises, people who couldn’t get out of bed to go to work can suddenly leap into action. It’s passionate desire that makes us feel alive – not the fulfillment of that desire.

There is a certain point in everyone’s spiritual development when what you’re describing is common. After we’ve conquered the basics of survival and pulled ourselves together emotionally and psychologically, we may have no idea where to go from there. At this point, we must redefine our sense of meaning and purpose in life because we’re ready to shift from focusing on keeping our heads above water to empowering other people.

Through our own suffering and struggles, we develop compassion. Once we’re out of pain and hardship ourselves, we can help people who are still in it. Some people have a natural desire to be of service to others, while others don’t really see the point. If you remember that when you leave this life, you’ll go through a life review, and how well you loved yourself and others will matter more than anything else, then you’ll see that there is a lot in it for you if you devote yourself to being of service.

Please also remember that depression can often signal the beginning of new spiritual growth and awareness. Depression turns our focus inward, away from the endless distractions of the outer world. Our desire to leave this emotional pain behind motivates us to ask new questions and find new answers. Eventually, we emerge from depression on a higher level of experience, with new personal potential. It’s natural for boredom and depression to arise during a period of relative abundance and stability because it’s at these times that we can work on making inner progress.

Our higher selves are constantly pulling us toward the realization that we are already whole and always connected to the Divine. It’s the ego that feels lost, dissatisfied and separate. When one pursuit after another fails to fulfill our longing for something greater, eventually we recognize that we’ve been chasing our own tails the whole while – that we’ve had what we are longing for all along.

The answer, then, is to know and remember this truth. By recognizing that we’re in ego when we’re unhappy, we can remember to shift our vibration higher and focus on the one thing that has been with us from the beginning – our own Divine nature.

Here are some more tips for cultivating the habit of feeling alive, passionate, inspired, and connected to Spirit:

  • First make sure your physical habits encourage well-being, happiness, personal power and high energy. Eat fresh, high vibration food, get regular exercise, get enough sleep, etc.
  • Meditate to uncover and connect with your true nature, which is always content and at peace. Recognize that you determine how excited you are about life, and you determine the quality of your connection to Spirit. The same feelings of magic and excitement you experienced in the past are always available to you.
  • Read spiritual books, especially books about near death experiences, the afterlife and the law of attraction. Watch movies like Joe Versus the Volcano, Shirley Valentine, Under the Tuscan Sun, Contact, Patch Adams, etc.
  • Live on the edge. Ask yourself what you would do if you could do anything, and then go for it. Reach for dreams so big that they thrill you a lot and scare you a little.
  • Find ways to help people who are struggling with challenges you’ve overcome. Begin to teach. Organize a support group or book club for spiritual seekers, or find some way to help people who are a step or two behind you.
  • Experiment with spiritual subjects that interest you. You could focus on manifesting amazing things, join a mediumship development circle, try some EVP research. Push the envelope in terms of what you believe is possible.
  • Actively dialogue with Spirit. Ask what you can do to move forward and manifest a sense of connection, wonder and excitement about life again, and then watch for signs to come to you.
  • Remember that if you’re bored or feeling lifeless, you’re not fully awake. The Universe is an incredible place! There is so much to learn about, so many places to see, people to meet, things to explore. The possibilities are endless. If you’re not seeing anything to be amazed at or excited about, you’re not really looking. There is always something new to learn or invent.
  • Volunteer at a children’s hospital, a hospice or a prison. Nothing will make you feel happy and grateful like being regularly reminded of how truly blessed you are.

– Soul Arcanum

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Can Hatred be Healing?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Can Hatred be Healing?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Over the last three years, I’ve had some wonderful unfolding through trance and healing work, but now I really feel stuck. I was severely abused as a child, and my whole family is still covering up for the abusers. The spiritual counselor I’ve been working with took a sharp turn from many good things to this whole new place I hate: He wants me to forgive my mother. Why should I forgive someone who beat the heck out of me? I just don’t see it. I’m not stupid; I understand that she came from her own bad karma; I get that letting go helps me. However, hating her is the only real spiritual clarity I’ve had in years. I know how awful that sounds but I feel a great clearing to see what she did, so to ask me to forgive her makes me nuts! He is insisting that I am staying stuck. It sounds right but I can’t even imagine letting go of my newfound hate of her and all she did. Any suggestions?
Susan

Dear Susan:

I feel both you and your therapist are right – you’re just viewing this from different perspectives. It sounds like this healer knows what he is doing, for he has helped you a great deal, proven his wisdom and earned your trust thus far. I agree with his assessment of the situation: that holding on to hatred of your mother will keep you stuck.

At the same time, however, it’s imperative that you love and trust yourself enough to honor your true feelings. If it doesn’t feel right to let go of this hatred yet, then you must do what feels right and best to you.

Please do note that when we forgive someone, that doesn’t mean we’re to blame for whatever they did. Further, when we have feelings of hatred for someone, that doesn’t mean we are somehow at fault. It feels to me like you really need to love your inner child by clearly acknowledging what happened to you when you were small and validating your feelings about that.

Perhaps it doesn’t feel like you can let go of this hatred because you’re waiting for validation of your feelings from some of the key people involved. As you move forward and learn to love yourself even better, it won’t be so important to get that external validation, and this will empower you to release more of the deep pain that you’ve been carrying around for years.

For now, by allowing yourself to be angry with your mother, you are finally starting to affirm your love for yourself. Children who are abused tend to have very low self-esteem, and when they decide that they deserve better and they get angry, then instead of turning all that pain inward, they start to flow it outward toward whomever or whatever mistreated them. This begins to release the energy, which can bring a profound sense of relief. Hatred can thus indeed be healing when it represents a shift toward greater self-love. It’s just one step, but when we’ve come from an even lower vibration, we may feel much better than we felt before.

I feel your counselor is trying to help you but needs to be patient and understanding of where you are in this process. This is one of the trickier aspects of spiritual counseling: when we’re forever tapping into higher truths and aligning with a super high vibration, we can lose touch with ordinary life, which diminishes our effectiveness as healers.

You are naturally conflicted. In seeking help from this counselor, you are in essence asking him to guide you to a warmer, happier place. Let’s say that initially, when you were in a place of tremendous emotional pain and struggle, it was like you were living in a frozen, barren tundra. As you began to shift out of feeling powerless, unlovable and victimized, you moved into feeling more empowered and angry at your abusers. While this doesn’t sound all that wonderful, it was like moving from that frozen tundra to someplace like Toronto: even though it’s still really cold there, it feels so much better than where you were before.

Meanwhile, your healer is living in a tropical paradise and is eager to help you find your way to the wonderful place he has found. In continuing to work with him, you are in essence asking him to help you keep moving to a better/warmer place. At the same time, however, you are telling him that you don’t want to leave the cold weather (hatred) behind.

No doubt you just need a chance to rest and recover from your recent trek, to integrate your experiences and gather the strength and courage for another journey. On a spiritual level, you’re feeling pretty worn out and at the same time, feeling so much better than you did before that you’re wondering if you really do need to keep moving.

You are free to stay where you are with all of this for as long as you like. If and when you feel ready, you can inch your way toward paradise or you take a big, sudden leap. It all depends on what feels right to you, what you’re ready for, and your own inner guidance.

In terms of your relationship with this healer, the important thing is to recognize that he may have the answers you need, that you may not be ready to hear them or act on them yet, and that is all okay.

I believe the lessons in this situation are naturally perfect for everyone involved. You are learning to honor your feelings, trust yourself, and make choices based on what feels right to you. You’re learning that if you try to deny or repress your feelings, they will get swept under the rug again, and there they will make all sorts of lumps and bumps that you will trip over in the future. As they’ll then be hidden, you won’t know why you feel the way you do or keeping doing the self-destructive, crazy things you keep doing. Thus you are very wise to take all the time you need to fully work through and release your feelings.

Further, until you give yourself permission to feel all that you really feel, you will naturally resist moving on. Imagine yourself on that journey south, and that someone else is pushing you to keep moving even though you’re weary and need to rest a bit. In this scenario, it’s natural to resist being pushed. If, however, you claim your right to set your own pace, then you will sense when it’s time to get going again; it will feel comfortable and right for you to do so.

Your healer also has lessons in all of this. He’s being reminded to respect and honor his clients as unique spiritual beings who are being guided by Divine wisdom via their own hearts. He’s being reminded that everyone is always in just the right place for them. He’s being reminded that, in order to be a good teacher, he must teach at his students’ pace, not the pace that he would prefer. He’s being reminded that he can do his best to help, but he can’t move for you: only you can truly change your life, and trying to rush the process will only take longer in the end and prove more stressful than necessary. Your spiritual counselor does sound wise. My sense is that he isn’t truly trying to rush you, but is instead simply spelling things out for you, letting you know that when you want to make further progress, you will have to head in a certain direction. You can take all the time you need getting ready for that spiritual journey, but he’s right that in order to get to a tropical paradise, you’re eventually going to have to head toward the equator. You can take all the time you need, of course, for the relative paradise of inner peace will always be there, ready for you to call it home.

– Soul Arcanum

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How Can She Pick Herself Up and Turn Her Whole Life Around?

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How Can She Pick Herself Up and Turn Her Whole Life Around?

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I am 23-year-old woman who is currently pregnant. I don’t have a steady boyfriend at present; the man who fathered my baby is good for nothing. I do have a sweet little girl whom I love very much. Her father is taking care of her even though she is staying with my mother. I’m living a very low life. I have too many friends I cannot trust, and I love drinking alcohol. Part of me wants to change to become a better person, but the other part still wants to live this loose life. I don’t know how I am going to change. Every time I enter a new relationship, job, make new friends, etc., everything seems to go awry. I feel like I’m doomed. I was involved in a car crash in January of 1997, and my boyfriend at that time did not even come to the hospital. He didn’t care if I was alive or dead! Every man seems to just not care after they get what they want, which is to take me to bed. I have done many things I am not proud of. Is it normal that at the tender age of 23, I have slept with more than 250 men? Soul Arcanum, I really need your help. Can you give me advice on how to turn my life around?
T.

Dear T.:

While I’m going to focus this column on helping YOU, I have to say a word here about your innocent little girl and unborn child. Unless you want your children to grow up and be just like you and suffer the same way you’re suffering, you need to get a grip on yourself NOW. The part of you that wants something better than this is going to have to SLAY that part of you that wants to continue living a “loose life,” as you put it. You would protect your daughter with your very life, so lay down the life of that foolish, misguided teenager inside you, and step with all of your being toward the strong, wise mother you know you can be.

Now that I’ve said that, I can offer you my compassion. It’s clear to me that you’re carrying a lot of baggage from your childhood and even before that (from past lives). I’m shown that you have been an alcoholic in several past lives, and a prostitute in at least one lifetime. In that life, you did it to survive, but in this life, you have so many more choices. So while it may not seem “normal” to be so promiscuous, for you it hasn’t necessarily been strange. Unless you want to keep this up for all eternity, however, you’re going to have to consciously choose to change. Acknowledge that you have done the best you could, forgive yourself for those things you’re not proud of, then move on! Forget about the past and focus everything you have on who you want to be and how you want to live.

The main thing you must learn is how to say NO to things that will destroy your well-being and happiness. You have thus far said yes to everything and everyone that comes your way. Someone offers you alcohol/drugs? Yes! Someone asks you to go to bed with them? Yes!

The reason you say yes is because you’re desperate for love. You keep trying to be what you think others want you to be in order to fill that empty, achy, lonely feeling in your heart, but you’re waking up to the truth that what you’ve been getting by taking this approach is not love at all, and only leaves you feeling worse in the end. Disrespecting yourself as you have will only lead others to use you, for if you don’t respect yourself, why should they? There are all sorts of users and abusers in the world, and you have become a magnet for them. You thus far have just not loved yourself enough to protect yourself and to demand more and better from life and people.

As you do love your daughter that much, she is actually going to help you change your life. Through mothering your daughter, you have come to know the sort of love you need to feel for yourself. Now you can go back and parent yourself into feeling like you deserve more than what you’ve been putting up with. I want you to start treating yourself the way you’d want your daughter to be treated by herself and by others. If some stranger wanted to use her and take her to bed, what would you want her to do? If you saw her throwing away her mind, body and spirit on alcohol, junkie friends and unsafe sex, what would you want her to do? (That is what you should do!)

Find a minister or an energy healer and get some help with reconnecting with the Divine,  reclaiming your personal power, and detoxing on every level. (A church is probably best, as it would be a good source of free or inexpensive help.) I also want you to start attending church so that you can meet a higher quality of people. Start befriending older WOMEN there; reach out for help from women who are solid and strong and won’t let you make excuses when that weaker side of you wants to go on ruining your life. I’m sure there are also social service agencies where you can get connected with other women who are sincerely trying to improve their lives as well. You need true friends now. You need to ask for help and start helping others too. There are lots of young single mothers out there – reach out and work together!

I know your heart is aching for someone to truly care for you, and that this is driving much of your self-destructive behavior. What you need to get from this column is that your relationships with others will mirror your relationship to yourself. If you are self-destructive in your thinking and habits, others will be abusive toward you. If you respect yourself and take great care of yourself, others will respect you and want to take care of you similarly. Respecting yourself here means taking good care of your body (not abusing drugs or alcohol and not giving yourself sexually to any guy who smiles at you). It means getting rid of the people in your life who are behaving in ways you neither admire nor want to emulate. It means cleaning up your act and putting your heart and soul into becoming the kind of woman and mother you most want to be. The harder you work at it, the more you will respect yourself, and the better your life will get.

You can initiate this personal transformation by detoxing on a physical level immediately. I know you’re pregnant, so I don’t want you to do anything drastic like fasting or taking unusual supplements, etc. Just cut out all the garbage: no alcohol, no drugs, no junk food. Eat fruit and vegetables. Look to natural foods for nourishment. Given what you’re putting into your body, it’s no wonder you’re miserable. (If you need help with addiction, GET IT! There is so much free help available out there.)

Then you’ll feel strong enough to detox on an emotional and mental level by getting rid of those users and abusers and doing whatever else you need to do to move forward with your life. You should also take some time to thank the dickens out of your mom and anyone else who has really been there for you. She can and will help you if you are sincere in your efforts to change your life. She has been waiting for you to wake up. You have broken her heart time and time again; it’s time for you to actively begin to try to undo all that hurt you’ve caused. She’s on your side!

You have a loving mother, a sweet child, and a new baby on the way. You have so much to turn your life around for. Think of your children and set a good example, for they are learning how to be in the world by watching you.

In a nutshell: demand more of yourself and the people you let into your world, and you will turn your life around. The time is NOW my friend; I’m sending prayers for strength your way.

– Soul Arcanum

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Healing Romantic Obsession

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Healing Romantic Obsession


Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC, 2011. All rights reserved.  
 All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I’ve been seeing this man for about nine months. We had an open relationship. At first I was totally against it, but I felt like this was the only way I could be in his life. He has guided me on becoming more spiritual. (I think I have always been spiritual but now I’m not afraid to embrace it.) He is almost like a mentor to me. Now it seems he has fallen back in love with an old flame with whom he has children. It hurts that he just dropped me and committed to her. I want to disconnect from the spiritual connection we share. It’s like he is with me wherever I go. I love him but the pain and torment is something I can live without. I’m scared he will know and try to put a spell on me. He has done this in the past, and while it did not work on me, it was effective on others. I want to be free of this spiritual connection. It is very powerful and like nothing I have ever felt before.

Ameerah

Dear Ameerah:

Your question reveals what is happening on a metaphysical level. I find it particularly interesting that even though you say this man dropped you and committed to another, you write about your relationship in the present tense as though it is ongoing. In fact, you go back and forth between present and past tense when describing this relationship, which reflects how it’s both over and not over at the same time for you.

I’m wondering how you know about him putting spells on other people; I can only assume that he actually told you that he has done this. You imply that he tried to put a spell on you and that it didn’t work. Whether he overtly tried to influence you in this way or not, it’s pretty clear that you are “under his spell,” at least in the conventional sense of the term. This saying reflects our awareness on some level that it is possible for someone who is very magnetic and charismatic to influence people to feel as you are feeling.

Breaking free of a charismatic lover is in some ways similar to breaking free of the influence of a cult leader. In both scenarios, the “follower” gives their power away to someone they perceive to be somehow extraordinary. In order to reclaim your power, you have to begin to know YOURSELF to be just as special, lovable, and wonderful as the one you’ve been worshipping. When you make another person your God, you set yourself up for anguish and disappointment. It’s time to stop making him so special and begin to look for the divine within yourself and everyone else.

To be immune to the influence of charismatic types, you have only to own and exercise your power to consciously create what you want in your life. This is all about taking your power back. To have influence over us, a person must have stronger will/chi than we do. In order to break free, you must summon enough will power and desire to match that person’s energy or supercede it. This means you have to want to be free even more than he wants you hanging on. You also have to believe in your power to be free and to create what you want in your life even more than he believes in his power to influence you. This is definitely a battle of wills.

He may be the sort of person who wants as many admirers as possible, or who wants to have a back-up lover waiting in the wings just in case his current relationship doesn’t pan out. The good news is that he is focused elsewhere right now, and it will be impossible for him to summon enough desire to keep you if you begin to take your power back. This just makes sense, for your desire to have your life back will be much stronger than his desire to keep something he’s not focused on or attached to hanging around in the background.

Following are four ways you might go about ending this obsession. Allow your intuition to illuminate the best remedy for you by choosing whatever you feel drawn to. Please keep in mind that any of these options can instantly work for you if you bring your whole being to it.

Ways to End Romantic Obsession:

Guided meditation to cut psychic cords: Set aside special time for this exercise, then get quiet, close your eyes, and visualize the connection between you as a cord like string, linking you together. If it feels right, mentally explain to him why you are cutting the cord. If it doesn’t feel right, then explain to the Universe what you are doing and why, and ask for your guides and angels to help you. Focus on the positive: on what you want and the good that you expect to come from this. Be very clear that you are now taking conscious control of creating what you want in your life. You may perceive something in response from him or the Universe. This may include impressions, insights, ideas or solutions, so pay attention and allow whatever comes to you to lead you to new awareness and healing. When the time feels right, cut the cord by visualizing yourself with scissors or a knife cutting away whatever connects you. As you do so, say out loud: I cut this cord so that we may BOTH be free to find greater love and happiness. The more you can embody the feeling of love and happiness you desire for yourself and everyone involved, the more powerful the ritual will be. Afterward, get rid of anything he gave you, and remove all traces of him from your world.

Direct healing from Spirit: If you are adept at prayer and meditation and have a strong relationship with your spirit guides, you can enter into a deep meditation and simply ask Spirit to heal you of this obsession. Ask to be set free, for all thoughts and feelings about him to be taken away, and to feel the way you want to feel: free, at peace, and hopeful about the future. Ask to be guided to something new to pour your love and passion into. Pay attention to what happens, especially in your body. If you are strongly connected, you’re sure to feel something shift or change within you, and afterward, to notice that you feel profoundly changed on an inner level by this exercise.

Spells and rituals: There are many “spells” and rituals you can perform to break free of obsession. Given the space limits of this column, I don’t have room to offer one here for you. The subconscious mind loves ritual, for it’s a way to communicate with your deeper self about what you want and to rally the forces of the Universe to help you achieve your aim. If this idea resonates with you, I encourage you to search the internet for an appropriate spell/ritual, and devote all of your being to it.

Hypnotherapy: Hypnotherapy is a very fast and powerful way to heal and release the past and program yourself to move forward to create what you want in your life. If the above methods don’t appeal to you or leave you somehow wanting, don’t give up hope: I’m sure a skilled hypnotherapist will be able to help you.

A final note: the surest way to release an obsession over something that has ended is to find something new, wonderful and fulfilling to get “obsessed” with. Whether it’s a new relationship, an exciting project, a pet or some endeavor you’re passionate about, if you choose something that blesses you in equal measure to the psychic and emotional energy you pour into it, you will wake up one day and realize that you can’t even remember the last time you thought about old whats-his-name.

To help you with all of this, I recommend you check out some of the great deep trance processes in the spiritual toolbox at Soul Arcanum. :)
– Soul Arcanum

 

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Fully Healing Negative Feelings

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Dear Soul Arcanum: A while ago you wrote about letting go of blame, guilt, etc. in your column about cancer. What are some good ways to do this? I find that I may think I let go of something one day, but then the feelings are back the next. Any ideas?
– Soul Arcanum

Dear Soul Arcanum:

First it’s important to allow yourself to feel what you really feel. While I am a huge believer in thinking positively, I have lived and learned enough to know that denying our negative feelings or stuffing them down doesn’t work in the long-term. That’s just like pushing junk to the back of a closet. Sooner or later, it will come right back up as you describe. Besides, with all that “baggage” in our space, we end up living with a sense of constant hassle as we try to maneuver around it. Eventually, all the stuff we have pushed back or to the side has to be sincerely dealt with.

When I am feeling angry, frustrated, impatient, etc. with people, I try to remember to keep things in perspective. You might try reading, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. Mr. Frankl was a POW in a Nazi concentration camp, and in this profound book, he writes about how some POW’s managed to keep their hearts, minds and souls “safe” from the Nazis, despite all that was happening to them on a physical level. They never lost faith and hope; they never lost their ability to love and have compassion for those around them; they retained their humanity, their personal spirit. He writes about the one freedom we each have that no one can take away from us: our freedom to choose how we will think and feel about life and respond to our experiences.

Similarly, I have clients who are dealing with some very intense issues, such as a child being murdered, a spouse being arrested for a humiliating crime and losing his life’s career as a result, trying to recover from the traumatic experience of war, etc. When I remember that there are many, many people who have been wronged in far worse ways than I have, it’s much easier to accept my own challenges with a positive attitude. This is not to be taken as a “should.” Telling ourselves that we “shouldn’t” be so upset about something is shoving it to the back of the closet. I’m suggesting instead that we bring it out into the light and dust it off, where we may discover it’s not as scary or ugly as it seemed when it was in the shadows. It’s amazing how when we let go of ideas about how we “should” feel and how fast we “should” heal, etc., our higher selves can step in and lead us to new peace and freedom.

Further, it is not what we experience, but how we interpret our experiences – the stories that we tell ourselves – that determine how we feel. All emotional pain takes place in our heads, not in our outer experiences. Thus, we can mentally relive an experience over and over again and feel the same degree of pain if the story we tell ourselves about it never changes. When we obsess about something someone has done to “hurt us,” we allow them to hurt us not just once, but over and over again. You know that already, and are wisely asking, “So how do I stop doing that?” The answer is to change the story you are telling yourself about that experience.

You might begin by reminding yourself that everyone is doing their best; some people’s best is just a long way from how you would personally handle that situation. Had you been born into that other person’s life, raised by that person’s parents, and experienced all that that person has experienced, however, you would probably behave the same way.

Further, it is very wise and powerful to remember Victor Frankl’s message: that no one can force us to feel a certain way. We create our own experiences in life. Metaphysics aside, you can see that this is absolutely true simply by observing how different people deal with the same sort of experience. At one end of the spectrum, people are completely crushed by trauma. They either kill themselves or they never truly recover. Some part of the heart and soul is forever missing afterwards. At the other end of the spectrum, people not only grow through traumatic experiences, they turn them into assets, and perhaps even a greater life purpose. Through the fire of deep challenge, they forge new spiritual growth and strength, and go on to help others follow in their footsteps. When we really own the truth that we can’t blame anyone else for how we feel, it becomes natural to let go of negative feelings like anger, hatred, bitterness, etc.

As we begin to change the stories we tell ourselves about hurtful experiences, the way we feel begins to change. The ultimate in healing bad feelings is to find compassion for those who hurt you. In fact, this is the only way I’ve found to permanently heal those intense emotions.

For example, when I was 16 years old, I was stalked and raped by a young man who was about 20 years old. (I don’t know for sure how hold he was.) He was the son of the woman who cut my hair; that was all I really knew about him, beyond the fact that he saw me, became obsessed with me, started stalking me, and eventually raped me. Throughout this ordeal, it became undeniably clear that this guy was CRAZY. He had such a tormented, twisted soul inside that it was very easy for me to be grateful that I was not him. When I realized that I would rather be his “victim” than to be as dark and empty inside as he obviously was, it wasn’t long before I started to feel compassion for him, and to truly forgive.

I know this idea may sound really radical and challenging, but once you have worked with all the ideas above and found compassion for your “enemy,” there is one more thing you can do that is very powerful to heal your heart and move on to new joy and peace: purposefully do something kind for the person you’re feeling negative about. It’s usually best if they don’t know you did it, and it can be as simple as praying for them. In fact, that is a very powerful thing to do.

You will feel a strange sense of freedom come over you if you embrace this goal with the intention of rising above the drama and loving yourself to new well-being. You will feel yourself lift above it, and end up feeling beyond that drama, for what you wish for others – what you send out – is what you yourself will attract.

Then you will naturally move on and focus on other things. It will be easy to forget about whatever happened in the past and to fill your life with new blessings like positive people, new projects and opportunities, new learning and growth. You’ll then be so busy with all the good stuff that you’ll have no time or room in your life to reopen those old wounds again.

I’ll leave you with one last bit of common spiritual wisdom that we all frequently forget: if not for your “enemies,” whether they take the shape of people or challenging life experiences, you’d never experience new personal growth. Our enemies are indeed our greatest teachers. When we can find appreciation for the lessons they bring us, we flow so beautifully through life that we never get stuck in negative emotion for long.

– Soul Arcanum

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Further Healing Old Emotional Wounds

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Healing, Karma, Relationships, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Further Healing Old Emotional Wounds

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

I need some advice on a situation that doesn’t seem to want to finish. I had a short but cataclysmic relationship with a young man a few months back. We were both in places in our lives at the time that drew us to one another very quickly and intensely. Things progressed rapidly then suddenly blew up. It was devastating to me, but I’ve done a lot of work around this and have come to a pretty good place. I finally allowed myself to be angry with him, and then I forgave him and it felt wonderful. Since he teaches at my daughter’s school, I see him in the mornings, but the kicker was getting an email from him telling me that he is looking at an apartment in my building. I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the Universe, yet the old wounds began to open up. Part of me isn’t the slightest bit surprised that he is marching back into my life, for I’ve always believed we had more stuff to work through. I try to feel loving toward him as I know he is going through some challenges himself, yet I need to resist getting sucked into the cycle of putting his needs above my own. How do I gracefully accept the possibility that he can be my neighbor as if nothing ever happened between us? I want to tell him to get lost and go live somewhere else, yet I wonder why he is coming back (or being sent back) into my life. What do you think?
Loretta

Dear Loretta:

Before we delve into your personal spiritual lessons in this situation, I think it’s important to contemplate the possibility that he is missing you and was either feeling you out by telling you he was thinking about moving closer to you, or is indeed planning on moving into your building because he hopes that with time and effort, he may be able to rekindle your romance. (If he was as anxious to put your relationship in the past as you seem to be, instead of emailing you, he would most likely either look elsewhere for an apartment or at the very least, avoid telling you about his plans.)

This possibility aside, let’s explore the deeper spiritual issues at play here. Your reaction to this situation indicates that you do indeed have more healing and growth to accomplish. This is something of a spiritual test of your healing status. Given your panicked reaction, I think you’d be wise to view this situation as a wonderful opportunity for you to heal more completely from this very intense emotional experience. (If this process was complete, hearing from him and seeing him wouldn’t faze you any longer.)

Your situation illustrates one of the strange but beautiful things about the Universe: anything left unfinished naturally comes back up for us time after time until we master it. It may not seem like the time is right for you to deal with this yet, but these things also tend to happen when we’re ready to take our learning and growing to the next level.

Further, our feelings are very clear road markers regarding where we are vibrationally in relationship to other people, relationships, issues and experiences. When someone from the past comes back into our lives and we’re overjoyed, then clearly, there is nothing troublesome that was buried under the carpet that needs to be brought out into the open and cleaned up. When someone shows back up and we feel wary, anxious, angry, upset, etc., it’s a sign that there is great potential for further personal growth via this situation.

This doesn’t mean that we have to welcome everyone we’ve ever been involved with back into our lives with open arms. In fact, I often read for people whose lesson is to love themselves enough to learn to say no. Being confronted by people to whom they’ve given their power away in the past tests their resolve to create something better in their lives, and until they find the strength and self-love to choose what is really good for them, those people will keep coming back. So though we naturally want to run away from people who have broken our hearts in the past, they are often our greatest teachers.

Of course, people keep coming back into our experience in order for karma to be worked out as well. It’s my understanding that this doesn’t happen due to some grand elaborate plan. Instead, the force behind it is more like gravity: our intense emotional connections to people are like elastic bands, so whether we love them or hate them, when people evoke strong emotions in us, they will keep coming back into our experiences time after time, lifetime after lifetime.

Sometimes, even after we’ve personally made peace with the past, people come back into our experience because they still have karma or issues to work out. I don’t feel that this is the case for you, however, because if you were fully at peace with this whole experience, you wouldn’t be afraid of getting sucked back into things with him.

You mention being afraid of putting his needs before your own, and it sounds like this may be the big lesson in all of this for you. What better way to learn (and practice) honoring your own needs than by being in a situation that challenges you to remember? We don’t learn anything by avoiding challenges, which is no doubt why we subconsciously create and recreate the perfect situations in which to master whatever we need to learn.

As for trying to be neighbors as though nothing ever happened, I don’t see the point. Why pretend that nothing ever happened when it did? The more real you can be with your own true feelings and the truth of the situation, the faster and more directly you will be able to get to the heart of things where you can unravel anything that is tangled and move on to create the love, peace and happiness you long for.

I assure you that your situation holds nothing to fear and lots of blessings for you. Even if you do get sucked back into some sort of relationship with this guy, it will no doubt lead you either to the fulfillment of some desire or greater peace and clarity, after which you will be more empowered to create what you want in your life. If you strive to approach this situation with love and wisdom, it will also improve the karma between the two of you, which means the next time you reconnect, instead of feeling anxious, you may feel delighted and go on to enjoy all the love and harmony you’ve cultivated between you.

My advice on how to make the most of this situation can be summed up in one line: attitude is everything. This is true with spiritual lessons and with all of life’s challenges, for that matter. When we sink into fear and resist whatever comes our way, we make everything so much harder for ourselves. When instead, we stretch to be our very best selves, and we relax and choose to trust that one way or another, everything will work out fine, life begins to just flow. In fact, it does better than flow: it grows brighter and more beautiful every step of the way.

How you approach this will absolutely determine the quality of your experiences. If you can embody love and trust and let yourself shine, this situation may not affect you one bit as you sail forward to your dreams. If you really pour your best self into it, you may even be able to cultivate a deeply beautiful, rewarding experience for all involved.

– Soul Arcanum

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Fully Healing Negative Feelings

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Healing by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Fully Healing Negative Feelings

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum: A while ago you wrote about letting go of blame, guilt, etc. in your column about cancer. What are some good ways to do this? I find that I may think I let go of something one day, but then the feelings are back the next. Any ideas?
– Soul Arcanum

Dear Soul Arcanum:

First it’s important to allow yourself to feel what you really feel. While I am a huge believer in thinking positively, I have lived and learned enough to know that denying our negative feelings or stuffing them down doesn’t work in the long-term. That’s just like pushing junk to the back of a closet. Sooner or later, it will come right back up as you describe. Besides, with all that “baggage” in our space, we end up living with a sense of constant hassle as we try to maneuver around it. Eventually, all the stuff we have pushed back or to the side has to be sincerely dealt with.

When I am feeling angry, frustrated, impatient, etc. with people, I try to remember to keep things in perspective. You might try reading, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. Mr. Frankl was a POW in a Nazi concentration camp, and in this profound book, he writes about how some POW’s managed to keep their hearts, minds and souls “safe” from the Nazis, despite all that was happening to them on a physical level. They never lost faith and hope; they never lost their ability to love and have compassion for those around them; they retained their humanity, their personal spirit. He writes about the one freedom we each have that no one can take away from us: our freedom to choose how we will think and feel about life and respond to our experiences.

Similarly, I have clients who are dealing with some very intense issues, such as a child being murdered, a spouse being arrested for a humiliating crime and losing his life’s career as a result, trying to recover from the traumatic experience of war, etc. When I remember that there are many, many people who have been wronged in far worse ways than I have, it’s much easier to accept my own challenges with a positive attitude. This is not to be taken as a “should.” Telling ourselves that we “shouldn’t” be so upset about something is shoving it to the back of the closet. I’m suggesting instead that we bring it out into the light and dust it off, where we may discover it’s not as scary or ugly as it seemed when it was in the shadows. It’s amazing how when we let go of ideas about how we “should” feel and how fast we “should” heal, etc., our higher selves can step in and lead us to new peace and freedom.

Further, it is not what we experience, but how we interpret our experiences – the stories that we tell ourselves – that determine how we feel. All emotional pain takes place in our heads, not in our outer experiences. Thus, we can mentally relive an experience over and over again and feel the same degree of pain if the story we tell ourselves about it never changes. When we obsess about something someone has done to “hurt us,” we allow them to hurt us not just once, but over and over again. You know that already, and are wisely asking, “So how do I stop doing that?” The answer is to change the story you are telling yourself about that experience.

You might begin by reminding yourself that everyone is doing their best; some people’s best is just a long way from how you would personally handle that situation. Had you been born into that other person’s life, raised by that person’s parents, and experienced all that that person has experienced, however, you would probably behave the same way.

Further, it is very wise and powerful to remember Victor Frankl’s message: that no one can force us to feel a certain way. We create our own experiences in life. Metaphysics aside, you can see that this is absolutely true simply by observing how different people deal with the same sort of experience. At one end of the spectrum, people are completely crushed by trauma. They either kill themselves or they never truly recover. Some part of the heart and soul is forever missing afterwards. At the other end of the spectrum, people not only grow through traumatic experiences, they turn them into assets, and perhaps even a greater life purpose. Through the fire of deep challenge, they forge new spiritual growth and strength, and go on to help others follow in their footsteps. When we really own the truth that we can’t blame anyone else for how we feel, it becomes natural to let go of negative feelings like anger, hatred, bitterness, etc.

As we begin to change the stories we tell ourselves about hurtful experiences, the way we feel begins to change. The ultimate in healing bad feelings is to find compassion for those who hurt you. In fact, this is the only way I’ve found to permanently heal those intense emotions.

For example, when I was 16 years old, I was stalked and raped by a young man who was about 20 years old. (I don’t know for sure how hold he was.) He was the son of the woman who cut my hair; that was all I really knew about him, beyond the fact that he saw me, became obsessed with me, started stalking me, and eventually raped me. Throughout this ordeal, it became undeniably clear that this guy was CRAZY. He had such a tormented, twisted soul inside that it was very easy for me to be grateful that I was not him. When I realized that I would rather be his “victim” than to be as dark and empty inside as he obviously was, it wasn’t long before I started to feel compassion for him, and to truly forgive.

I know this idea may sound really radical and challenging, but once you have worked with all the ideas above and found compassion for your “enemy,” there is one more thing you can do that is very powerful to heal your heart and move on to new joy and peace: purposefully do something kind for the person you’re feeling negative about. It’s usually best if they don’t know you did it, and it can be as simple as praying for them. In fact, that is a very powerful thing to do.

You will feel a strange sense of freedom come over you if you embrace this goal with the intention of rising above the drama and loving yourself to new well-being. You will feel yourself lift above it, and end up feeling beyond that drama, for what you wish for others – what you send out – is what you yourself will attract.

Then you will naturally move on and focus on other things. It will be easy to forget about whatever happened in the past and to fill your life with new blessings like positive people, new projects and opportunities, new learning and growth. You’ll then be so busy with all the good stuff that you’ll have no time or room in your life to reopen those old wounds again.

I’ll leave you with one last bit of common spiritual wisdom that we all frequently forget: if not for your “enemies,” whether they take the shape of people or challenging life experiences, you’d never experience new personal growth. Our enemies are indeed our greatest teachers. When we can find appreciation for the lessons they bring us, we flow so beautifully through life that we never get stuck in negative emotion for long.

– Soul Arcanum

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Conquering Fear with Faith

Filed Under: Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Law of Attraction, Manifesting, Spiritual Growth by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on Conquering Fear with Faith

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)
 

I want to be less fearful. I have big fears of the unknown, such as if this bill can get paid, if I can make enough to pay for what we need and so on. These fears take me over at times. I want to work with the law of attraction to create what I want in my life, and I know that fear is a big stumbling block for me. I keep telling myself I am okay and this seems to help. Do you have any advice for me?
-T.

Dear T.:

On a practical level, there is a lot you can do to align a smooth, carefree journey through life. There are some key differences between folks who always seem to be stressed and those who are usually calm and carefree. For example, people who rarely get anxious tend to plan ahead, stay organized, and create cushions in their lives so they don’t have to worry.

Financially, a cushion may be a savings account or a sum of money in your checking account that you only dip into when there’s an emergency. If you regularly have to meet work or school deadlines, you can develop the habit of moving them up on yourself so if something comes up, you won’t have to stress because you’ll have a buffer period to handle whatever has to be done. The more you create cushions throughout your life, the easier everything will seem.

Spiritually speaking, faith is something that each person must develop on their own. However, I can tell you how I changed from being just as anxiety-ridden as you are to having unshakable faith, and I can point you toward some metaphysical habits that will help you to conquer your own fears.

Some twenty years ago when my psychic doors blew open with my first pregnancy, I was a metaphysical mess! I was depressed, disempowered and riddled with anxieties. I was so anxious I developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

My vibration was very low because I was so miserable and anxious, so when my psychic senses suddenly turned on, I attracted encounters with low level astral entities, which naturally just scared me even more. I’ve since learned that everyone who has a low vibration due to fear, anger or other negative emotions is a magnet for low level astral entities; most just don’t know it because they’re not psychically sensitive enough to perceive them.

Needless to say, I was very motivated to find a way to “protect” myself and leave those dark experiences behind. That’s when I learned about the power and wisdom of turning up our inner light. This is the first step in shifting to a higher level of experience whether we want to escape something scary or painful or we want to empower ourselves to manifest positive changes in our lives.

To turn up your inner light, you have to focus upon, cultivate and exude the qualities of your higher self. This will lift you above the fears and desires of the ego and connect you with a sense of faith and peace. You have to make a conscious choice to foster feelings of love, peace, compassion and understanding, and to flow those feelings out to other beings in this world and beyond.

When we do this, our bright inner light erases any shadows around us just like the darkness in a room disappears when we flip on a light switch. This is the ultimate in terms of psychic protection, personal healing and empowerment, for once we have a high vibration, we naturally attract people and situations of a higher nature, and can manifest whatever we want in our lives with relative ease.

As my vibration rose, my energy became a match for learning about the law of attraction, and from there things just got better and better. In studying the law of attraction and consciously experimenting with it, I received all sorts of signs, synchronicities and other evidence that we do indeed create our own realities.

This knowing is hugely comforting, for it means that we are not at the mercy of the whims of fate: we have control over what we manifest! Further, since what we focus upon expands in our lives, worrying about the future is foolish and counter-productive. This is a huge key to conquering fear with faith. Once you realize you have control, you just need to exercise it.

It’s also natural to become less anxious as we learn and grow, for with experience comes wisdom. If you look back on your own past, some truths should leap out at you. First, even though some bad things happened, given enough time they always worked out. No matter what you went through, you did eventually figure it out, make it happen, handle it, find a way through, heal, forgive, get over it, survive, go on to something better, etc. Guess what? That isn’t going to change – things will keep working out in the future just as they did in the past. Time will continue to heal all wounds.

Second, you’ll realize how self-defeating it is to worry about what might happen in the future because you desire to be happy, for in choosing to worry right now about what may or may not happen later, you are sacrificing your happiness up front. Further, you’re disempowering yourself from creating what you want in your life.

I know that understanding this doesn’t mean it will be easy to shed an entrenched worry habit, but part of our spiritual journey includes developing the wisdom and self-discipline to control our thoughts. Worrying is like poking a stick in an open wound: it hurts you in the moment and creates more pain and problems the more you do it. You may have a long standing habit of unconsciously poking at that wound, but the only way to change your course of experience is to get more conscious of your habits and summon the resolve to CHANGE.

Since what we focus upon expands in our lives, it doesn’t do any good to focus on quitting something or giving it up, so I’m going to offer you things you can do INSTEAD of worrying. Whenever you feel anxiety creeping in, get this list out and get busy!

*First, take whatever practical steps you can to align with what you want, especially creating those cushions I mentioned above.

*Read spiritual books and articles. Reading about the law of attraction will remind you of your personal power to create what you want in your life and shift you into a higher vibration. A few pages every day can make a huge difference. Also, put what you learn to good use by experimenting, for the more amazing things you manifest, the deeper your faith will be in your own power to create what you desire.

*Reading about other spiritual subjects like near-death experiences and reincarnation will reinforce your understanding that everything happens for a good reason. It will also soften your worst fears. For example, most likely the worst thing you can imagine is your own death or the death of a loved one. When you truly know and believe that death isn’t terrible at all – that it’s just a temporal change of state – your anxiety will dissipate.

*Resolve to surround yourself with positive people, experiences and energies. Create a soothing environment for yourself. If someone or something makes you anxious, distance yourself and focus on situations that feel good. Seek out uplifting people, positive films and TV shows, beautiful art, uplifting stories, etc.

The more you consciously cultivate faith, the better your life will get, for your vibration will rise and empower you to manifest all sorts of wonderful blessings, changes and opportunities.

 

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How Our Sexual Partners Affect our Spiritual Vibration

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Emotional Well-being, Energy/Vibration, Relationships by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on How Our Sexual Partners Affect our Spiritual Vibration

By Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. :)
 

Dear Soul Arcanum:

For about a year now, I’ve been doing some powerful meditations to raise my vibration so I can better heal myself and others. I’ve been told that having sex with someone I don’t love would cause my vibration to drop to that person’s level. This worries me because while I do not believe in engaging in casual sex, I’ve often felt very strong emotions toward someone I’m dating. These emotions may or may not evolve into love, but when I begin to feel this way and crave an emotional exchange with that person in the form of sexual intercourse, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to mess up my vibration, but if I have strong feelings for someone and I know they care about me as well, I have trouble abstaining from sex with them until I know for sure, which may not happen until the relationship is over anyway. I would be very grateful for any thoughts you have on this.
– Angela

Dear Angela:

Let’s explore the notion that having sex with someone you’re not positive you love may deter spiritual development. Certainly we find the notion that sex and spirit are somehow at odds in many religious traditions, and casual sex is frowned upon in most cultures. The practical problems that can arise from being too casual in our approach to sex are obvious, but these social mores are also rooted in some metaphysical truths.

It’s important to remember that every interaction between people involves an exchange of energy, and sex involves the fullest exchange possible. In fact, we might consider S.E.X. an acronym for “soul energy x-change.”

When we go to buy a car, interview for a job, or even meet someone new in a social setting, we will tend to be somewhat guarded. In various social interactions, we only let so much of our true selves “out,” and we only let so much of that other person’s energy in.

When we have sex with someone, however, we “open up” to them. You might say we get naked with them on every level. This means the auric walls that normally help us maintain our separate sense of self come down, which leads to an exchange of energies. Because of this, the people we have sex with can have a much greater impact on us than other people. When we “invite” a lover to mingle his or her energy with ours, all sorts of things can happen.

At the positive end of the spectrum, we can actually heal others (or be healed by them) via sexual interaction. In your case, if you had sex with someone who had a lower vibration than yours, with the right approach you may raise that person to YOUR vibrational level.

Sex can be a very spiritual endeavor. It can stretch our capacity to be giving, sensitive and compassionate with our partner; it can challenge us to rise above ego and self-consciousness to be fully present in the moment; it can take us to the edge of our boundaries, trust issues and hang-ups, where we become nothing more than who we were when we came into this world – one being reaching for bliss with another.

For many people, the ecstasy of orgasm is the closest they get to divine bliss, and as such, it can open them up to a whole new dimension of experience. To me, orgasm is the clearest experience we have of the ultimately energetic nature of life. Sex can initiate the release of kundalini and encourage spiritual development. Sexual energy is powerful, and our deep desire for love leads us to many of our most important life lessons.

When it comes to matters of love and sex, I strongly believe that there are no hard and fast rules: we have to trust our intuition to lead us. For example, most of us are naturally attracted to people who are on our vibrational “wavelength.” It is unlikely we would date someone of a vastly different vibration for long, and thus unlikely we’d have sex with them in the first place.

We have a built in barometer that deters us from opening up to people whose vibration is so far from ours that it could be harmful to us. Having sex with someone this different tends to feel awkward or wrong. Some people, however, actually get a dangerous little thrill out of acting AGAINST their intuition and being “bad,” especially when it comes to sex. Women who always go for “bad boys” are a good example, and they usually suffer some nasty consequences as a result. Of course, drunken one-night stands tend to yield some interesting pairings as well!

When we do have sex with someone who is not a good match for us, we expose ourselves to all of their issues and energies. This may lead us to get caught up in all sorts of dramas. Then negative emotion lowers our vibration, and all the drama distracts us from our higher/spiritual goals.

One of the greatest hazards of casual sex is the potential for attachment by astral entities. While this can happen outside of sexual contact, when we completely open ourselves up during sex, it is easy for an entity attached to our lover to shift to us.

Also, I have heard from many women over the years who were making love to their husband or boyfriend when “someone else” moved in. Sometimes that other being was perceived to be “inside” their lover, and the women felt their lover “become someone else.” Sometimes they actually saw the other entity above or next to their lover, trying to “take over” the lovemaking session.

The lower astral is full of opportunistic entities that are earthbound due to some addiction. The spirits of sex addicts are drawn to lust, and try to live vicariously through people engaged in sex. If, however, you and your partner are making love at a high vibration, lower astral entities with neither be attracted to you nor able to affect you.

The more love you flow during sex, the more it will nourish your heart and spirit. If your partner is not spiritually “awake” and you are, he could weigh you down spiritually, but this would extend beyond the bedroom anyway. This doesn’t mean our partners must share our paths or even our passion for spiritual growth; there are lots of ways to be “spiritual.”

So how do we decide when to “do it” in a relationship? While we should trust our intuition, we might also remember that when we have sex with someone, we are essentially telling them that we trust them with our lives, our health, our hearts and our dreams for love. For some people, that sort of trust comes easy, and for others, it comes hard.

I also think that to learn anything in life, we have to be willing to explore and experiment, so if we feel strongly drawn to do something and there is no obvious reason it would be foolish, we should do it. This is how we’re guided to learn the things we need to learn and heal the issues we most need to heal.

Finally, I think you may be too caught up in defining what it means to “really love” someone. Even if you don’t know if you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner, you can still interact with them WITH love. If you look for the divine in the one you’re with, you will embody love. When you do anything from this high vibration, wonderful experiences are sure to follow.

– Soul Arcanum

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She Didn’t Move On and Got Sick

Filed Under: Chakras/Auras, Emotional Well-being, Healing, Psychic Ability by Soul Arcanum — Comments Off on She Didn’t Move On and Got Sick

Copyright Soul Arcanum LLC. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. :)

Dear Soul Arcanum:

Last year I was at a crossroads in my life. While my job had been very important to me, I no longer felt connected to it and was ready to move on to something else. Instead of finding something new, however, I became sick. Ever since then I’ve had terrible headaches. I’m seeing several doctors both medical and alternative, and we can’t figure out what is causing the pain. I’ve been called a sensitive and an old spirit many times. I’m somewhat psychic as I seem to just know things, and can feel the presence of unseen beings. I’m wondering if my illness may be caused by something in the psychic realm. A medicine woman who used to work for me once said that I’ve not been using all the gifts I’ve been given. Is there a connection between my gifts and my headaches? I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired! Thanks!
– L.

Dear L.:

On a metaphysical level, the source of your discomfort is blocked energy. It began when you knew that you needed to move on from your job situation, but you put off doing so because you were afraid to give up something comfortable for something new and as yet unknown. Since you are still in that job situation, these problems aren’t getting any better.

You are by no means alone – people do this sort of thing all the time. In fact, I frequently work with this issue in my spiritual counseling practice. Some of the physical symptoms that may erupt as a result of not moving on when we know we should include chronic fatigue, migraines, sinus infections, depression, anxiety, insomnia and muscle tension – especially in the upper back.

I went through something similar years ago when I knew that I had to get out of a dead marriage, but I was so afraid of hurting anyone involved (my husband, my children, the rest of the family, and myself), that I just couldn’t bring myself to act on the truth in my heart.

The more I tried to deny what my inner being was telling me, the sicker I got. The last year before we separated, I had all sorts of health problems, including migraines and chronic sinus infections. Looking back, I’m amazed at what a mess I was and how long it took me to “get it.” I felt like I was drowning in mucus! When I finally summoned the courage to end the marriage, my health issues cleared up instantly, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I could breathe freely again. I firmly believe the ultimate source of my health problems was the need for this change because I haven’t had a single sinus infection since.

Whenever we try to force ourselves to stay in a situation that isn’t good for us, things tend to get worse and worse until we are forced to move on. This only makes sense if you think about it, because the situation is really not good for us to begin with. It’s similar to having an unhealthy habit like drinking or smoking: if we refuse to give it up, eventually its ill effects on us will manifest physically in the form of pain or health problems. To heal our discomfort, we have to change.

In fact, when it comes to staying in relationships, jobs or other situations that are unhealthy for us on some level, if we don’t listen to our inner being and act on our true needs, eventually something will happen that will force a change. We may get fired or laid off, for example, or we may get so sick that we have to quit. The longer we deny our needs or put off what we know we must do, the worse things tend to get. By contrast, the more we listen within and act on our inner knowing, the smoother our journey through life tends to be. Given all of this, the best thing you can probably do for your health is to quit that job!

This is all related to your psychic gifts as well, for it sounds like you have had a lot of signs that you are psychic and need to further work with your abilities, but you haven’t honored these signs and intuitions. As a result, you have all this energy built up behind your third eye because you’re not opening that chakra enough for it all to flow through. This creates pressure, which can lead to discomfort like headaches.

Have you ever gone to a sad movie and tried to force yourself NOT to cry because you’d be embarrassed, only to end up with a horrible headache? This happens when the energy of your emotion builds up inside you because you won’t let it out.

It also makes sense that when what we are repressing is some truth or awareness, the discomfort we experience will be felt in our heads. So if someone is highly psychic but has a habit of unknowingly pushing their psychic perceptions down into their subconscious, they may experience psychic pressure in the form of headaches. If we don’t resist this awakening, instead of pain or discomfort we may feel a lovely sense of tingling or buzzing around our foreheads.

You are indeed highly psychic, and probably don’t need to develop your gifts so much as to simply acknowledge them and allow them to flow. To do this, you’ll want to further open your third eye and your crown chakra. The third eye will open naturally if you work with psychic development exercises. Kundalini yoga is very powerful for opening the third eye, though all forms of yoga are great for getting your chi flowing freely.

To open the crown chakra, you’ll have to learn to trust in life itself: to have faith that one way or another, everything will be all right. If you already believed this deep down, you wouldn’t have hesitated to leave a job situation that you knew wasn’t right for you. Regular meditation will lead you to deep peace and serenity, which will naturally heal your fear and anxiety and help you develop a more trusting relationship with the Universe. It will also open up a clear channel to Spirit via your crown.

To initiate healing, I believe anything you can do to bring the energies you’ve been repressing up into your conscious awareness will prove helpful. The main thing is to really listen within and trust whatever comes into your awareness as meaningful. You might begin a daily practice of journaling, automatic writing, or art therapy – whatever appeals to you. Energy healing or hypnotherapy may also prove helpful.

The most important thing is to honor what your body has been trying to tell you by opening up to change, and your job situation is the obvious place to start. I think you’ll be amazed at the transformation you experience by simply honoring your true needs in that area of your life, because when we get stuck in one area, we tend to get stuck in others. For example, if we hang on to a job, relationship, habit or living situation out of fear of the unknown, before long we are hanging on to all sorts of other things that don’t really serve us well, such as extra weight, clutter, unfinished projects, unhealthy habits, resentments, etc.

By contrast, when we release some big issue we’ve been hung up on, everything else begins to move forward too. Then it’s suddenly easier to achieve other goals, try new things, and let go of anything else that doesn’t bring us true health and happiness.

– Soul Arcanum

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