You recently ran an inspirational message in which you wrote that one day you realized that memories you had shared with a departed love were running in the background of your mind, and by this, you knew that he was trying to connect with you. Since you’re a medium, it surprised me that you didn’t just know he was there as soon as he showed up. I guess I have no idea how spirit communication works. I mean, I know they don’t call up on the telephone, but can you explain about how you experience communication like this?
– Beth
Dear Beth:
Actually, spirits do sometimes call up on the telephone. (They also affect communication through radios, computers and other electronic equipment). There are even researchers who get voicemails from Spirit! For more information on this fascinating subject, try an Internet search for EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena).
The tremendous majority of spirit communication, however, does not take place through anything the five senses can perceive. It is an inner experience. This only makes sense if you think about it, for spirits are non-physical beings. It takes tremendous energy and interdimensional savvy for spirits to affect things in the physical, or manifest in a “physical” form.
Many people fail to understand how subtle spirit communication tends to be, and thus they fail to recognize much of the spirit contact that is taking place in their own lives at a subconscious level all the time. For example, they may have a “feeling” of the presence of a loved one in Spirit as they are remembering them with affection, but dismiss it as wishful thinking and hold out for a more tangible encounter. While stories abound of loved ones appearing in a ghostly mist at the foot of a bed at the time of their departure from this plane, the tremendous bulk of spirit communication takes place at a mental level. Even when a medium on a platform is looking over an audience member’s head, saying, “I see a gentleman in a tuxedo and top hat standing behind you,” she most likely is “seeing” that in her mind, not in the physical space near that person.
I have also found that the people we are closest to in life are often the hardest to distinguish as “voices” or energies outside of ourselves. People who can connect with friends, coworkers and strangers in spirit are often hurt and confused when they can’t do the same with the love of their lives. I often find that instead of being absent, those most beloved in Spirit are SO CLOSE that we can’t distinguish them as energies distinct from and outside of us. They were “in our hearts” before they crossed over, and they remain in them after.
So just as it can be hard to discern between our own intuition and the guidance of spirit guides, it can be especially hard to discern between our own minds/imaginations and the messages or impressions of dear loved ones in Spirit. If your Aunt Betty came through to me for you in a reading, I would know this is an energy that is “foreign” to me, like a stranger. When my own grandmother comes through however, as she has been for many years now, it’s comfortable and familiar, and I may at first not notice she’s there. (She’s always around, so there is no big shift occurring). Imagine the energetic difference between having your spouse of 25 years slip into bed beside you while you’re reading the paper. You might keep reading without realizing they’d come to bed. Now imagine that a stranger has slipped into bed with you. Pretty hard to ignore!
Further, loved ones we were very close to tend to be around more and come through to us of their own volition, where we have to purposefully reach out to other spirits. While both can and will come through to me when I center myself and try to consciously connect, my own loved ones and guides will reach out while I’m doing various mundane tasks (just as yours will try to do with you). So I may be focused on something else entirely, and then suddenly “notice” that there is a quiet “knocking” at the back of my mind. Often, this takes the form of memories we shared. The most common such “knock” for me is visual images and memories of places we spent a lot of time in together when they were living.
I now know that when I notice certain images are running in the back of my mind, certain spirits are trying to get my attention. If you’re not visual like me, this is sort of like realizing that a certain song is running through your mind if you’re auditory, or a certain feeling is present in some area your being if you’re kinesthetic. When I begin to see images/ memories of my beloved grandmother’s house coming to the surface of my awareness, then I know that she is trying to get my attention. I may be writing this column, taking a shower, doing the dishes, etc. Similarly, when I see images of the high school parking lot and football stadium where I met my first love every day after school, I know he is trying to get my attention. (Why else would a parking lot keep pushing up into my conscious awareness?)
We are all in communication with non-physical entities all the time, but most people are not conscious of it. Imagine that you’ve grown up in a rustic village on a remote tropical island, and due to the limited gene pool, 90% of the population has sorely compromised eyesight. They think this is “normal” of course, and that those who can see tiny things they cannot are either “gifted” or “crazy.” Some “seers” on this island would probably learn to keep quiet about the things they can see when very young. I imagine a child pointing at something and everyone around her saying, “There’s nothing there! You’re crazy!”
Now imagine that a doctor visits the island and makes you a pair of magnifying glasses. Suddenly, your whole world expands. Behind, beneath and between everything you’ve always seen you discover so much more. Those things were there all the while, and a few of the others were perceiving them too, but you were all too shy or scared to talk about it. You are now capable of things you could never do before as well. Of course, the glasses are only good for seeing small things up close; to see the “old way,” you have to take them off.
Becoming conscious of the spirit communication that is ever taking place is much like this. When we “notice” signs “knocking” at the back of our minds and then we turn our conscious attention to it, we put on our “psychic glasses” (attune our vibration to that subtle energy). Then conscious communication can take place. This vibration is not where we want to be when we’re cutting vegetables, driving a car, or even editing papers, however, so spirit communication naturally involves a shift from one state of awareness to another.
“Knocks” from loved ones in Spirit such as the memories/images I describe here are like calling cards from the other side. They announce the arrival of a visitor, and alert us to prepare ourselves for a visit by consciously shifting our awareness.
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