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Dear Soul Arcanum:

I visited a local psychic about three times, so naturally she got to know all my personal problems. I was very surprised when I saw her at the gym that I attend, and it made me feel uneasy. Then in the locker room she had the audacity to ask me outright if my son is still doing drugs, along with some other personal questions. I felt disgusted because in my opinion, she should not discuss the matters from my readings somewhere else. I motioned for her to shut her mouth, and she replied “Not to worry.” I have also noticed that when she talks to me, she stands very close, fixes her eyes on me, and asks personal questions. I think she’s reading me, and I feel uneasy every time I see her. I have made it clear that I no longer desire her services, and I’m no longer friendly with her. Can she harm me in any way? How do I prevent her from reading me?
– Liz

Dear Liz:

A dear friend of mine is a popular local psychologist, and I’ve had other friends react with similar nervousness when they realize I know him. While some worry that he’ll share their secrets with me, for the most part, they’re uneasy because who they are in public is so different from who they are when they’re in his office and getting “real,” so they don’t know how to act around him in a different setting. Since he would never betray their confidence, the real problem is the chasm between who these people really are and who they like to pretend to be in “polite society.”

Psychologists are trained and required by law to maintain strict confidentiality, and while psychics should follow the same protocol, there is no official training or laws governing this sort of work, so it’s natural for clients to worry. I maintain strict confidentiality for my clients and would never disclose that someone had even asked me for a reading, much less what we had discussed. This is especially important when someone else may know my client, or my client is a well-known celebrity or other public figure. So I certainly agree that this psychic is not handling herself in a professional manner! (I’m also doubtful of her psychic sensitivity, for she should be able to sense your uneasiness and respond accordingly.)

At the same time, I have to say that I don’t pick up any malice from her. Like so many psychics, she is probably just socially quirky. Psychics tend to be extraordinarily open and honest because so much that escapes others’ awareness is quite plain to us. While many people ONLY get emotionally naked in very private settings, we see through people’s social masks all the time.

Just the other day my son complained, “Having a psychic for a mom is so not fair! Not only do I get in trouble for the things I say, I get in trouble for the things I DON’T say!” He was referring to both my ability to sense his true thoughts and feelings, and my habit of insisting on bringing the truth to light.

I do this because I believe it’s a waste of time and disrespectful of everyone involved to be anything but real. Further, whenever we are false, we disconnect from our personal power to create positive change. In addition, on some level everyone knows the truth – they may not know it consciously, but they still know. When we use words to hide the truth or twist it around, we’re just playing games.

Life is not a competition to see who can keep their act together more than anyone else, it’s an experiment through which we all cultivate new wisdom and understanding. Everything we feel and experience happens for a good reason. We are all divine spirits living out big dramas here on Earth, and we’re in this together. So if someone is being false with me by lying, avoiding, denying, etc., I will usually communicate what I feel is really happening because I see no reason for anyone to hide. (As you might imagine, I have often been told that I’m very intense and honest to a fault!)

Given all of this, I see no need for you to block yourself from being read. Instead, I recommend you heal yourself of the fear of being exposed for who you really are, and the belief that if people knew the real you, they would find you somehow unworthy of their love and respect.

If you are honest with yourself, you’ll realize that the reason you want to keep your secrets hidden is because deep down, you’re ashamed of yourself for some reason. You’re afraid that somehow you’re not as good as other people, or your children aren’t as good as they “should” be, which must be your fault. If you recognize that everyone struggles with all sorts of problems just as big as yours, hopefully you’ll realize that there is no reason for you to feel bad about yourself.

It’s easy for psychics to forget that not everyone is like us. For example, we hear everyone’s most scandalous secrets, greatest fears and deepest regrets, and if we’re coming from a higher vibration as we should be, we don’t judge anyone for their problems and decisions. From Spirit’s perspective, there is nothing to feel ashamed about and therefore nothing to hide because you’ve not done anything wrong! There is only compassion for you and all you’re going through.

This is one of the qualities that makes great therapists true healers: they see you as divinely perfect just the way you are, and they help you to see your own divine perfection as well. In this way, you make peace with yourself and your life.

If I were you, I would thank this woman for showing you that she cares, and gently explain that you’d rather not talk about these things when you’re at the gym, for you’re not mentally prepared to deal with them then, and just want to get in a good workout.

Then instead of keeping all those skeletons buried in the back of some metaphorical closet, I encourage you to work on finding compassion for yourself. Whenever you feel the urge to cover something up or pretend to be someone you’re not, recognize that your ego is kicking in, and try to relax and let go of needing others’ acceptance. Remember that gaining others’ approval by pretending to be someone you’re not is pretty silly, and it will just fill your life with all sorts of meaningless, hollow relationships and interactions.

Remember too that getting emotionally vulnerable takes love and faith in yourself, and if you open up about what you’re really going through, it will encourage the people you talk with to do the same. Trust me – everyone feels the way you do – we all want to look good in others’ eyes. So instead of worrying about impressing others, try to give them what you’d like to receive: acceptance and understanding for who they really are and all they’re really going through.

If you do this, you will end up in some powerful, meaningful relationships wherein you know you can truly be yourself and be accepted for who you really are. Ironically, this approach will also bring you the respect and admiration of some wonderful kindred spirits.

 

– Soul Arcanum

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